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In Nigeria, many Nigerian parents disown their children or subject them to very harsh and dehumanizing treatment after they find out about their sexuality. But the 26-year-old graduate of computer science said he is still in shock about the way his parents reacted after they found his gay porn online. Speaking to NoStrings, he said; “I was very shocked and still am. I was also very scared when my mother called and started telling me about how my father and her saw me misbehaving with another man in a video online. Before I could explain myself, they cut in and told me that they wanted to see me” Ikechukwu who finished from Abia State University three years ago with no job said he was frustrated, disappointed, and broke, hence, the reason why he dabbled into gay porn with the hope that he’ll be able to make some money to sustain himself. “I got into acting gay porn through a friend. I was so broke, frustrated, and disappointed in myself and so desperately wanted to do something to survive and keep myself going. Things have become so hard now in the country, and as a jobless young man, it was even so difficult for me. I couldn’t turn to my parents because that’ll further make me feel like a total failure. Even though acting porn wasn’t as lucrative and sustainable as I had thought, it did help me pay some bills”. During his days at the University, Ikechukwu learned how to cut hair, and was so good at it, but after he left school and moved to another state, it became difficult for him to find new clients. He also tried looking for a job and sent in several applications to several organizations that never called him back. Also, the few who called did not get back to him after the interviews. However, things took a positive turn for Ikechukwu after he received a call from his parents who afterward, decided to help him start up a business. “I still cannot believe it. I was thinking they’ll scold and condemn me. I know my dad to be very harsh, and they are both very religious. I was even thinking they’ll talk about my sexuality, but instead, they only asked me why I was acting porn and I explained to them how things were not going well for me and how broke I was. They blamed me for not telling them, and then after a week or so, gave me money to set up my saloon. Now I am a proud owner of a classy hair salon. The business is still growing, but I am so grateful to them” He said with excitement. Source
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Lady denied an apartment after landlady discovered she is a lesbian
FlyJ posted a topic in Latest News and Gist
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Hello Ladies, What better day to start your journey of healing and wholeness. So.... I had an epiphany the other day and figured it would be useful to share it with you. We all go through life carrying an inner child who sometimes is broken and plagued by a variety of unresolved issues which ultimately frame how we react, love, expect to be loved and express emotion. In this case, the first step to healing is to acknowledge your inner child and to recognize that she's hurting and to understand where she's hurting. To pinpoint exactly what the hurt is e.g. feeling that she didn't have enough love or acceptance growing up, feeling the need to always please to feel loved or earn whatever love she gets, feeling inadequate because a parent figure didn't step up, feeling closed-off because she was raised in an environment that didn't allow for expression etc... I don't want you to dismiss your inner child or how she feels. To move forward and to be whole, you need to soothe her pain. You need to close your eyes and see her in your mind's eye. You need to apologise to her for how she feels and how she had nothing to do with the non-acceptance. How it is not her fault and how she must forgive those who hurt her because if people knew better, they would act better. You need to kiss her and embrace her tightly while telling her that you love her, that you are proud of her for being so strong. You need to kiss her and hug her intensely so that she breaksdown in your arms. Then you need to tell her to stop expecting love and acceptance from those figures (parental or otherwise) in her past because it may never come. You need to help her accept that situation because it is only after acceptance and letting go of those expectations and cravings of love from sources that cannot give it that healing can truly begin. Still holding her close, you need to tell her all about what amazing things you've been up to and how there is so much to look forward to. You then look her in the eye and kiss her one more time. This simple exercise of self love brings with it fresh perspective that will allow you not expect another to fill an unfillable void. instead, you will be in a place where you simply allow another (a partner or any other) to love you how they know how without projecting unmet needs and expectations on them. Selah 📿🖤🏳️🌈
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Welcome to For fags sake! Here, you have a safe space to be a faggot in Nigeria. All members of the LGBTQ community are welcome. I make videos on queer issues while being fabulous. Don't bother being homophobic, I've heard all you have to say and honestly, I don't care! In this video, I and Matthew react to a video of a man claiming to have gone through gay deliverance. It was important to debunk this myth pushed by Christians and reiterate that being a homosexual isn’t something to be delivered of.
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Will you allow your ex to date your sibling?
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I was born gay, and in even in death, I'll be gay - Bisi Alimi
FlyJ posted a topic in Debates - Express and Discuss
Do you agree with him? -
The couple who agreed there's no way to know if someone is the right one, revealed that they met on Tinder and started dating in February 2021. They said that they decided to go public with their relationship to encourage other gay men not to hide theirs. According to him, no one tells straight people to hide their relationship. Doyin’s son said he asked Mfaome out first and also disclosed that they are same age. He further revealed that Mfaome makes him a better person and also compliments him.
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LGBTQ+ South Africans Demand Justice After Hate Crime Wave
FlyJ posted a topic in Latest News and Gist
Lonwabo Jack, a 22-year-old gay man, was murdered in Cape Town, South Africa on Sunday, according to police. Jack, who was out with his friends celebrating his birthday, was sexually assaulted and stabbed to death in Nyanga, a town in the Western Cape, a township home to nearly 58,000 people. His father, Mzwabantu, remembered Jack as a “nice kid” who was “always surrounded by his friends and liked fun and good times.” “He was a quiet kid and would not say some of the things he would experience because he felt like he could handle them just like any other man,” he told the South African news website Independent Online. “However, when he told us that he was raped we knew as his parents that we had to take a stand.” “It’s heartbreaking to give birth to a child and also bury them,” Mzwabantu added. A suspect in Lonwabo’s murder was reportedly detained following a police investigation. A representative for the South African Police Service did not identify a suspect but claimed in comments to the website Eyewitness News that a 17-year-old individual “was apprehended early this morning.” “He is expected to appear in the Athlone Magistrates Court once he has been charged with murder,” said media liaison officer Noloyiso Rwexana. The escalation of hate crimes against LGBTQ+ South Africans has prompted concern and outcry from local LGBTQ+ community members and organizations. According to the U.K. LGBTQ+ publication PinkNews, Jack is believed to be the fourth LGBTQ+ person murdered in the country in less than a month. LGBTQ+ advocates led a Friday protest at the Houses of Parliament in Cape Town. Protesters demanded that the country’s government take action to address the surge of anti-LGBTQ+ violence and to specifically call for justice in the case of Andile “Lulu” Ntuthela, a 40-year-old gay man who was recently murdered in the Eastern Cape. As PinkNews reported, Ntuthela’s body was discovered in a shallow grave 11 days after he was killed. The suspect, who is 28 years old, has not been named in media reports. The group also delivered a memorandum to parliament, in which they called for increased government action in the face of these hate crimes, as well as for harsher punishments for offenders and for the development of long-term solutions. “We are calling for justice for Lulu and and for other queers who have suffered at the hands of this country in the most brutal ways,” said Kamva Gwana, a representative of the group Justice for Lulu, in comments cited by South Africa’s News 24. “We want hate crimes to be dealt with. We believe the police service is queerphobic and we are done begging the public and the government for change.” Source -
Writer Ayo Sogunro responds to man who accused him of being gay
FlyJ posted a topic in Latest News and Gist
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Kehlani, who has long identified as queer and bisexual, proclaimed herself a lesbian via a TikTok post today (April 22). In her video, the singer and songwriter said, “I am gay, gay, gay. … I finally know I’m a lesbian.” The Oakland-born artist joked about coming out to her family as a lesbian. “We know, duh,” she says was her family’s reaction. The news won’t come as much of a surprise to fans either. As a member and advocate of the LGBTQ community, Kehlani who goes by she/they pronouns, had comments about their sexuality previously, writing in a now-deleted tweet: “I felt gay always insisted there was still a line drawn as to which ‘label’ of human I was attracted when I really just be walking around thinking ERRYBODY FINE.” However, she hadn’t come out to her family at that point. But she had also posted a video where she said, “Never have I identified as a lesbian.” Eagle-eyed fans had noticed Kehlani drop the news earlier this month via a short Instagram live video where she confessed, “You wanna know what’s new about me? I finally know I’m a lesbian!” In that same video, she adds, “I just wanted y’all to know that everyone knew but me.” The 25-year-old has a two-year-old daughter, Adeya, and just last year released her second album, “It Was Good Until It Wasn’t,” via Atlantic Records. The album featured guest appearances by Tory Lanez, Jhené Aiko, Lucky Daye and James Blake, among others. Watch the video (via PopCrave) below Source
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Hi Girls, There are certain words that I love the sound of. What are some of yours?
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Heterosexual Nigerian women speak out about being married to gay men
FlyJ posted a topic in Latest News and Gist
In societies where homosexuals face severe social stigma and potential criminal penalties under harsh laws, gay and bisexual men often turn to marrying straight women either to hide their own orientation or meet social and family expectations. Queer men in Nigeria often say they choose to marry women to preserve the privileges that are afforded to them when they “pass” as heterosexual. Phillip, a Lagos-based Nigerian bisexual, says his job at a top tech consultancy firm would be at risk if he were known to be queer. “I love men and if I am given the opportunity I will choose to marry a man. But how can I even do that? Everything is on the line here. I will lose everything including my precious job. In fact, I’ll be jailed and humiliated. I can’t stand all of that, that’s why I am going to marry a woman, and of course, she doesn’t have to know,” Phillip says. But while queer men face extreme social pressures to conform and marry women, this can put their female partners in difficult situations as well. To explore these struggles, five straight Nigerian women who married gay and bisexual men shared their stories. “He deceived me” Judith, a mother of two teenage boys, says though it wasn’t entirely bad being married to her ex-husband, whom she described as “loving and caring.” But she admits that it was really painful to discover that her husband lied to her throughout their marriage. “What pains me is that he deceived me. He loved men, yet married me. After I found out about him and his young lover, he admitted that he never loved me, but liked me and that he won’t be able to change,” Judith says. “We were married for 15 years. I don’t think I will be able to forgive him even though he was a good man and took care of us. He is a very loving and caring man. I will admit that about him,” she says. “Eager to change” Not every woman who is married to a gay or bisexual man is completely oblivious to his sexual orientation. Elisa, whose marriage did not endure a full year, says she was aware her ex-husband was gay. “I knew about who he is from the very beginning. We spoke about it several times, and he sounded like someone who was also eager to change,” Elisa says. “But it all crashed after I caught him crying one night that he was tired of denying his true nature. He said he was no longer happy. “I tried everything, even seeing our pastor, but nothing changed. He became even more miserable and depressed. It was last year that we both decided to go our separate ways after eight months of being married,” she says. “I gave him everything” Due to widespread misconceptions about homosexuality, many believe that being gay is all about a lack of access to sex with women. Victoria, an Enugu-based fashion designer, is one of those who believed so but is now very disappointed and shocked to find out that this is false. “Everything is still a dream to me. I loved him, gave him everything that a good wife gives to her husband, I never cheated on him, not to talk of the numerous times we had sex, yet he chooses to remain in that dirty act. Sleeping with a man like him, so disgusting. It is not easy leaving, but I can’t remain in that marriage” Victoria says. “He only wanted my womb” Some gay and bisexual men find selfish reasons to justify marrying women. Agnes, a 27-year-old banker, says her husband told her that all he wanted was to have kids and the only option was to marry a woman. “I feel completely used. How wicked. He only wanted my womb,” Agnes says. “After three years of being married to that scumbag, he told me he was leaving the marriage and that I wasn’t the kind of woman he wanted. Something was so off, so I had to dig him. To cut the long story short, it turned out he was gay and tired of being with a woman. I exposed him before leaving, and I am sure he will forever regret it.” “All I feel for him is pity” Sometimes, gay and bisexual men are pressured by their families to marry women. Patience, a Lagos-based fruit seller, is in a similar situation. However, she seems to have accepted her situation with some positivity. She says she doesn’t quite blame her husband for not letting her know that he is gay before he proposed, stating that her husband was pressured by his family. “I understand with my husband. He is the only son of his family and they want him to marry so that he can continue the family’s lineage. But I am not happy,” Patience says. “Every time he leaves the house I am afraid. He likes young boys. It was after I caught him sleeping with our house help that I knew. Now all I feel for him is pity. I am going to stay with him because we have a child together and I can’t raise my child without him.” Source -
He pointed out that such people have no problems with a Chinese man speaking English with a Chinese accent. But when an Igbo man speaks English with an Igbo accent, he's laughed at and called Igbotic. Source
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"I don't play, I slay" -Bisi Alimi says
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Read the story below ''A Christian brother travelled to the UK, he disembarked from the plane to discover his international passport with 5 years visa had been stolen or missing. He complained to the officials, they tried everything they could for him. The document was not found. He was returned to Nigeria. People started shouting “Village people”. About six pastors and even the ones he knew in the UK before traveling to Nigeria all saw the hand of the enemy. This brother started moving from one pastor to the other seeking a solution to the “village people” after him. His younger sister brought him to one of our programmes He told me everything I asked him if he was a born again Christian He said yes What do you do in the UK He said he was a barber and he had a thriving practice Where do you live? He mentioned the location, he said he was sharing Accommodation with about 20 other people They all troop out to work during the day and come in late at night to sleep and troop out again Some of the guys living with him are into drug, some into fraud et. I started laughing I asked him if he had called any of those guys since he got deported He said no I asked why? He said he didn’t want everybody to know he was in a jam I said please call one of them This was in 2018 June! He had been in the UK since 1998 and only came to Nigeria in 2018 to celebrate his mother’s 70th Birthday. He placed the call, the Person that picked filled him in about a police raid that happened in their house three days after the day he was supposed to have returned to the UK The police and other agencies went to raid their house in the middle of the night and everyone was in jail. The brother couldn’t Close his mouth He was just stammering Many so called pastors are wired to pronounce negative stuff and project fear and evil If indeed God is your father, he could subject you to a minor inconvenience in order to preserve you from a huge mess! The brother’s passport was found and mailed to him in Nigeria by an air hostess He eventually married the lady last year and they are both living in the USA now. None of those “village people announcers” saw that coming! When you’re in Christ, you either walk in the light or you walk in denial of the light!''
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Will you get the COVID-19 vaccine if it is made available to you?
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Interesting video from the Kachis.
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Nigerian men don’t deserve free s*x~ Singer Temmie Ovwasa tells women
FlyJ posted a topic in Latest News and Gist
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We are slowly finding our voice, and we will get there someday. What are your thoughts on compulsory heterosexuality?
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Gay Nigerian teenager gets a new home after being rejected by family
FlyJ posted a topic in Latest News and Gist
Bright, who comes from Benin City, Nigeria, struggled with depression and eventually became homeless when his parents threw him out following a blackmail experience with the Nigeria police. In early May 2020, the 19-year old was lured and arrested by police officers in Benin City, who had used other previously arrested young gay men as bait to entrap their friends. “I just walked into their trap. I did not do anything. I only wanted to meet up with one of my friends after he called me that he needed me to come to help him pick up something for another friend of ours. It was there that two police officers grabbed my trousers and asked for my name. The moment I accepted, I was arrested,” Bright said. Members of the Nigerian queer community have identified many locations in Benin City and other cities as notorious hot spots for police harassment and anti-gay blackmail. It’s not a crime simply to be gay in Nigeria — only specific sexual acts are criminalized in the country’s various Criminal Code, Penal Code, and shariah law codes. Nevertheless, police often work with individuals to lure gay men to locations where they arrest them. After Bright was arrested, his family paid about N80,000 (approximately $210 USD) for his bail, he said. But when he returned home, he received a shock. His family had “called and reported the issue to everyone including our pastor. I was then asked to leave the house that I brought shame to the family. My dad said he was never going to have a gay son,” Bright said. Bright said he was homeless for over a month until a friend took him in. However, the friend was also living with his family, and they did not approve. It was then that he reached out to NoStringsNG, which provided transportation for him to move to Port Harcourt, Nigeria, where he was provided shelter at a safe house run by a trans group. However, Bright was only able to stay there temporarily. In June last year, through support provided by NoStringsNG with help from the Saint Paul’s Foundation for International Reconciliation, Bright was able to rent a new place to stay with a friend. He was also able to use his computer skills to secure a job to support himself. “I know I feel lonely and depressed sometimes, but I am truly happy to have found a place to stay. I have some peace now and can sleep well at least at night. I appreciate the support and I am glad,” Bright said. Source- 1 reply
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''I am not happy because you guys are frustrating my life because I am getting depressed already. I thought I have moved on and everybody has moved on. I have not been getting jobs, I am getting broke. You know as a public figure you have to have money to take care of some personal expenses. Right now I don't have any money. Now, if people book me for a job, the company or brand would see Godwin Maduagu and they would say no, we can't use this boy. How do you guys want me to feel? How do you expect me to feed or survive? You guys said I made a video to trend. Now who is now trending and who is now losing? How do you expect me to make a video that will destroy my life and everything. You guys should just pity me now, Please. I am not happy. I want to get my life back. I need money. Right now I feel like I am going to commit suicide because I can't take this anymore. It is really depressing and it is affecting me psychologically. ''
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What are your thoughts about this video?
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Hey Girls, It's been a tad quiet in here. How are you all doing really? Psychologically, physically, emotionally etc... With all that is happening in Nigeria, I'm hoping you are able to find a safe space for yourself to recharge and heal on a daily basis? With COVID lingering on, I hope you are still able to stay connected with those who truly matter. Get in here, let's chat it out ☻
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Wow... it must be bad.
