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President Akufo-Addo’s quest to see Africa taken beyond aid was once again on full display, after his latest speech sent a strong word to the Western world. Akufo-Ado hosted France President Emmanuel Macron last week, with the pair meeting to discuss matters ranging from unity, investment and partnership building. However, the part that caught the eyes of many was when the Ghanaian President made a bold statement concerning Africa’s continuous reliance on European countries for support. Right in the presence of President Macron, Akufo-Addo insisted that Africa “can no longer continue to make policies for ourselves, our regions and our continents on the basis of whatever the Western world or France or the European Union can give us. It will not work. It has not worked and it will not work”. He added: “Our responsibility is to charter a path which is about how we can develop our nations ourselves. It is not right for country like Ghana – 60 years after independence – to still have its health and education budgets being financed on the basis of the generosity of European tax-payers.” His comments visibly made the France President uncomfortable, with his demeanor clearly depicting a man sitting on tenterhooks. The video has since gone viral, having become a hot topic for debate on various social media platforms. Watch the full video below: Source

Coming out story Follow Up Video

A lesbian twin and her straight sister have been studied by scientists who are searching for answers about human sexuality. Researchers hoping to identify genetic and environmental factors associated with sexuality hit the jackpot when they discovered identical twins Sarah Nunn, who is attracted to men, and Rosie Albewhite, who is attracted to women. The 29-year-old sisters were investigated by scientists as part of a study aiming to learn more about how sexuality develops in childhood. The sisters were among 55 other twins studied by researchers at the University of Essex in England. Sarah recalled Rosie’s tomboy tendencies as they were growing up, telling The Times her boyfriends “instantly felt more at home” with her sister. “She liked [soccer], talked about boy things, played video games,” she said. “They’d be like, ‘Sarah, you’re really boring. I’m going to go and play with Rosie.'” “I’d get jealous that they liked her better.” But Sarah was quick to understand that her twin wasn’t interested in boys romantically. “When they tried to get romantic with Rosie she’d say, ‘That’s not me.’ Then they came back,” she explained. The new research will build on previous scientific studies that searched for signs of how sexuality, such as gender-atypical mannerisms of behavior, manifests before puberty. Academics have struggled to produce concrete results in the past due to difficulties determining whether reported behavior patterns were remembered accurately. But the new research using dozens of twins and photographs from their childhoods could shed light on the subject. University of Essex psychology academic Gerulf Rieger and his colleague Tuesday Watts asked Sarah, Rosie and other twins with “discordant sexual orientations” to send them childhood pictures so they could be shown to strangers who were unaware of the purpose of the experiment. The strangers were then asked to try and spot how the signs of the twins’ behavior, clothing, and play diverged and pinpoint how and when it happened. The study is somewhat controversial, as suggesting firm links exist between sexuality and gender could be seen as reinforcing stereotypes about male and female behavior, which some say is harmful. But pictures provided by the twins make this issue difficult to avoid and show Sarah styling herself as female characters like Barbie, while Rosie suited up as Batman. As the years passed, Rosie said she remembered wondering why she was less interested in boys than her sister. “I questioned it for so long,” she said. “Sarah was really boy crazy.” Rosie even rejected her own boyfriend’s advances at one point, realizing she did not want to kiss him. But Sarah stepped in and said: “I’m the same … I will kiss you.” Rieger said the research into differences pre-puberty unlocked valuable insights about sexual identity. He believes the most likely explanation for the divergence in behavior is something that happens before birth. “Paternal hormones are the number one candidate,” he said. “Our theory is that even though twins are identical what happens in the womb is quite different.” “They can have different nutrition, different levels of hormones.” Source

Let's review for the wakajugbes 1. Have you been here? 2. Did you like it? 3. Would you recommend this place to a friend? 4. Do you consider this spot LGBT friendly? 5. Ambience? 6. Is it a good place for dates? 7. Rate over 10 ( 1 for poor and 10 for excellent).

If you had to rate this video over 10, what would you give it?

Nigeria have been drawn in Group D of the Russia 2018 World Cup along with South American giants Argentina, Europeans Iceland and Croatia. At a star-studded Final Draw ceremony at the State Kremlin Palace in Russia on Friday, the Super Eagles, who were in Pot 4 of the draws, drew the Argentines, who were seeded in Pot 1, and Croatia and Iceland, who were in Pots 2 and 3. Source

In the midst of the uproar over revelations that Libyan nationals are buying and selling migrants as slaves in Libya, Saturday PUNCH has learnt that Nigerians based in the country also sell their fellow countrymen. This emerged as more Nigerians are repatriated by the International Organisation for Migration with the backing of the European Union in an ongoing exercise that has seen 1,295 retrieved from Libya in November alone. Since the beginning of 2017, IOM-facilitated repatriation has brought back 5,578 Nigerian migrants, who were trapped in and outside prisons across Libya. On Thursday night, 150 migrants from mostly Edo and Delta states arrived the country aboard a Buraq Airplane at the cargo terminal of the Murtala International Airport, Lagos. It was two days after 239 migrants had also been brought into the country. Many of the returnees, who were thankful for being back, confirmed to Saturday PUNCHthat they were sold by their fellow countrymen, who were getting rich in Libya. One of them, 26-year-old Odion Saliu, a hairdresser from Edo State, said she was kidnapped and handed over to a Nigerian, who forced her to call her mother. According to her, her mother in Benin paid N200, 000 but she was again sold by the same Nigerian for 3,000 dinars (about N794, 000). Saliu explained that the Nigerians spoke Pidgin English and some Nigerian languages. She said, “When I was kidnapped with others and held for some weeks, the Arabs asked if I wanted to be taken to a Nigerian and I readily said yes. I was very happy that I was going to someone from my country. But it was a lie. “The Nigerian they took me to locked me in a cell and told me to call my mother and ask for N60, 000. The man said he would sell me to a connection house if my family did not get the money. I called to inform my mother and the trafficker who facilitated my journey from Nigeria. “But the trafficker spoke with them on the phone and told them the amount they demanded was too small. They increased it to N200, 000. My mother paid into an account after they provided her with the account number over the phone. “The Nigerian said if I wanted to cross the sea, I had to pay him again. But when we got to the seaside, he sold me again.” Another Edo State indigene, Sunday Anyaegbunam, left Nigeria along with his wife in April. He said during their nine-day journey through the desert, they were sold twice by Nigerians. According to him, when their Nigerian “burger” (trafficker) sold them to another set of Libyan traffickers at Agadez, Niger, the traffickers sold him and his wife to a Nigerian who took them to Sabha, Libya, where they were separated in different cells. “We were made to contact our families on the phone and I had to ensure the payment of N400, 000 for my release and N300, 000 for my wife,” Anyaegbunam said. Like others, he could only identify the Nigerians trading in their countrymen in Libya through the Nigerian languages they spoke and their accent. He said, “The Nigerians selling people in Libya are more wicked than many of the Arabs. I have never seen people so heartless as the Nigerians who bought and sold me. “There are many of them in Agadez and Sabha, who are making so much money from selling their own people. But there are other West Africans doing the business too. “When you approach them and say, ‘Please, my brother, help me.’ They would tell you, “No brother in the jungle.” A 25-year-old woman, Esosa Osas, who was in Libya for six months, said she also met many Nigerians selling their countrymen. “You dare not talk to them, else they would beat you and lock you up. They sell women for 5,000 dinars and men for N4, 000 dinars. I noticed that the connection houses were also controlled by Nigerian women.” All these accounts were corroborated by 35-year-old Harrison Okotie who lived in Libya for three years until his repatriation. “Nigerians and Libyans are doing the business like they are one big happy family,” he said. Most of the migrants who arrived Nigeria on Thursday were from Edo State. Officials of the state’s task force on illegal migration were on hand with luxurious buses to transport their people back home. A member of the task force, Mr. Okoduwa Solomon, told Saturday PUNCH that his team had made six such journeys to the airport within the last one month to take their indigenes repatriated from Libya back home. He said, “The first process is to take them through counselling, then we profile them. “After that, we put them in a home that the state government has provided for the returnees. The Edo State Government is paying each of the returnees from the state a stipend. They are going to undergo a training in agriculture, poultry, fishery and others to make them useful to themselves and the system.” Officials of the National Emergency Management Agency coordinate the reception of the returnees at the airport.South West Zonal Coordinator of the agency, Mr. Yakubu Sulaiman, said the returnees would be lodged in a hotel where they would have the chance to clean up before their journey back home. Meanwhile, President, Women Arise and Centre for Change, Dr. Joe Okei-Odumakin, has called on the Federal Government to use all diplomatic channels to prevail on the Libyan authorities to ensure the dignity of our people. She said in a statement on Friday that it was an embarrassment that Nigerians who were treated like royalty in the past were being dehumanised in a foreign land. “We must build a country where our people have opportunities to prosper and lead useful and productive lives and will only travel on leisure and business and not as illegal migrants desperate to live anywhere other than Nigeria,” she said. Over 400,000 Nigerians, others still stranded in Libya –AU Commission Meanwhile, Head, African Union Commission, Moussa Faki Mahamat, has said that over 400,000 Nigerians and others remain stranded in Libya. Hundreds of thousands more — “400,000 to 700, 000,” according to Mahamat — remain stranded. European and African leaders have set themselves a tall order to stamp out horrific abuse of African migrants, some of them are Nigerians in Libya, where thousands are suffering in a vast, lawless territory. On Thursday, a summit of the African Union and the European Union set a goal of immediately repatriating 3,800 migrants languishing in a camp near Tripoli. But experts pointed to a daunting array of hurdles, from extracting migrants in perilous situations to giving them incentives to stay put when they return home. Even so, the summit’s commitment, initiated by outrage over a CNN television report on black Africans being sold as slaves in Libya, is being welcomed. “It is a step in the right direction,” International Organisation for Migration Europe Director, Eugenio Ambrosi, told Agence France Presse by phone from Brussels. “It is a little bit too much to think it will solve the slavery issue, but it would definitely mitigate (it) to some extent,” Ambrosi said. He said the summit also showed there was now “international watchdog pressure” that could be brought to bear on the criminal gangs, but it must be “sustained.” The drive was announced at a meeting on the summit sidelines organised by French President, Emmanuel Macron. It brought together eight other EU and African countries as well as the AU, EU and United Nations representatives. Macron said the UN-backed Libyan government of Prime Minister Fayez al-Sarraj had identified and granted access to the worst camps to enable the returns of people who want to go home. The Macron group also decided to work with a task force, involving the sharing of police and intelligence services, to “dismantle the networks and their financing and detain traffickers,” he said. They pledged to freeze the assets of identified traffickers. The AU is expected to set up an investigative panel and the UN could take cases before the International Court of Justice. Libya calls for campaign against human trafficking The Libyan government has condemned the reported auction of West Africans in its capital Tripoli, noting that the criminal practice was not part of the culture of the Libyan people. It called for an international campaign against illegal migration and demanded an end to “exploitation, the suffering of the ambitious African man looking for better life in Europe and human trafficking right from the country of source.” Speaking on the alleged auction of West Africans in his country at a press conference on Friday in Abuja, the Charge d’Affairs and ambassador-designate, Libyan embassy in Nigeria, Dr. Attia Alkhoder, explained that his government had ordered the relevant agency to carry out a comprehensive investigation into the incident. He said the government was concerned about illegal migration and human trafficking, adding that Libya needed technical and logistical support to control its southern border, which is the major route for illegal migration across the Mediterranean Sea. The diplomat criticised the media for attacking and holding his country responsible for the slaves’ auction, noting that human trafficking and the reported slaves’ auction were done by individuals and not the Libyan authorities. Alkhoder said, “Libya renews its call to put an end to exploitation, the suffering of the ambitious African man looking for better life in Europe and human trafficking. “Libya calls for an international campaign to put an end to this phenomenon by providing security and border control to end the Libyan crisis, unify its government institutions and end the transition system that contributed a lot in the weakening control of territory.” The envoy noted that solving illegal migration was a collective responsibility involving countries of origin, transit and destination. He added that Libya spent a lot of money accommodating immigrants and facilitating their voluntary return to their countries, insisting that curbing illegal migration needed serious coordination of international efforts. Returnees get N100m, 150 hectares of land for farming Governor Godwin Obaseki of Edo State has approved a seed capital of N100m and 150 hectares of land for 150 victims of human trafficking, who recently completed skills acquisition training in the state. Obaseki announced this on Friday during the graduation of the participants of the programme, which was organised by the Edo Agricultural Development Programme in Benin City, the state capital. He also directed the Ministry of Agriculture and Natural Resources to immediately liaise with the relevant authorities towards securing the land for the returnees to commence their agricultural businesses. According to the governor, the beneficiaries would be put under the supervision of the Benin-Owena River Basin Authority and the EADP. Obaseki stressed the need for coordinated efforts to end modern slavery. He stated that the International Day for the Abolition of Slavery, marked on December 2 annually by the United Nations, should be seen as a day for deep reflection on how to bring the illicit trade to an end. Obaseki said, “We ordinarily should not be talking about the menace of slavery given the experience we have had. But it is a reality today and we have no choice but to tackle it. “However, it is pertinent to point out the fact that modern-day slavery, in its various forms, such as forced labour, debt bondage, and human trafficking, has no place among us. To effectively abolish slave trade as we have it today, it takes a coordinated, deep-reaching, international coalition that will take into cognisance the various forms of modern-day slavery and compel perpetrators to back down.” He, however, commended the returnees, comprising 51 trained on crop production, 15 on agro-processing, 68 on livestock farming and 52 on fish farming, for participating in the programme. He also urged them to be ambassadors in the state-wide campaign against human trafficking and illegal migration. Earlier, the Programme Manager of the EADP, Mr. Peter Aikhuomobhogbe, commended the state government for initiating the training and expressed optimism that the trainees would put the skills acquired to good use. Source

“Hello, Grammo, first let me start by appreciating the kind of work you and your delivery of good music. I just checked in to ask for advice from since you are a LGBT activist and ambassador. On matters relationships, i have an issue that has really been eating me up. I am a very straight guy and never judgemental on peoples sexuality. To the main issue, I have been in a very steamy relationship with my girlfriend for five month now. Thing were very okay the first up to the third month where she started exhibiting signs of withdrawal. I was very concerned but she assured me everything was ok but still the distance between us kept growing. I began feeling lonely as much as i was in a relationship. When i raised a concern it mostly ended into an argument. In the fourth month, it came to my discovery that the love of my life was cheating on me with a woman. I ddntjudge her but i was just so heartbroken since cheating is cheating regardless with whom. I also learnt that the chic that my gal was cheating on me with also had a boyfriend and they were to keep their rship very discrete. The two ladies in question are Bi’s. My love for my woman is still intact since she really apologised and said she wont repeat or rather she would change. As much as i was deeply hurt, i gave my woman a chance and forgave her but things on our end are more bad. The flame and the connection is not there. Mostly am the one putting in more effort to make it work. I feel she doesn't love me anymore as much as she ended things with the girl. My question is can these Bis stay faithful to one relationship ?? I love my girl so much but i feel like giving up on her. She still says she loves me but she doesn't show it. Advise me on what i can do plz. If it is possible post my story on your wall so that i can read what people think but kindly hide my Identity. Thank you so much” A straight anonymous man has written privately to Grammo Suspect, an openly Lesbian Kenyan rapper, concerning his relationship troubles. He claims his girlfriend of over 5 months, is secretly having an affair with another woman. He is asking for advice. Source

Tips on how to be a good lesbian girlfriend Everyone wants to know the secret to making relationships last. Here’s one: make your girlfriend happy. As they say, “A happy wife means a happy life.” How? By working on YOU first. In this case, be a good lesbian girlfriend first. What you need to do to be a good lesbian girlfriend Your partner has very basic expectations from you that you need to meet. Often than not, these are the things we take for granted, especially if we’ve been with our partner for so long, and end up arguing about. Meet these expectations and you’ll be surprised at how contented your partner will be. Here are some steps and tips you can do that will make your relationship a healthy and happy one: 1. Be kind and respectful Kindness and respect are often overlooked and feels like almost rarely practiced these days. Yet if we ask those who have been together for years or even decades, they will always mention kindness and respect, among other things, that really made their relationship last. Tip: A good lesbian girlfriend finds countless creative ways to be kind and respectful. Give compliments and mean them. Verbalize your appreciation. Give corrections in private and always with your partner’s well-being in mind. Avoid cruel or cutting remarks, even as a joke. Watch your words when you are angry. Remember, what you say in passing can have a lasting effect. Do nice things just because. Do the chores they hate. Occasionally give them a little gift on the way home. Say “please” and “thank you.” 2. Be open Experts unanimously stress the benefits of open and effective communication on relationships. Being both a good listener and communicator will help you strengthen your relationship. This means, among other things, telling your partner what you need from them and asking them what they need from you. Tip: A good lesbian girlfriend provides a safe space where her partner can speak without fear of rejection or dismissal. This will help manage both your expectations – in daily life, in the bedroom, in sticky situations, and in moments where how your partner responds really matters to you. 3. Be playful and have a sense of humor Everyone loves a good laugh and boredom can quickly set in if you keep doing the same things. Budding relationships are exciting because of the novelty of the experience and the person. Tip: A good lesbian girlfriend injects exciting newness into the relationship by doing things differently from time to time. Try out a new restaurant. Travel to new places together. Find a new hobby. Change up your morning routine. Or even pull a harmless prank on your partner (one that’s not too upsetting). 4. Prioritize the relationship Relationships can be likened to plants. When they get enough sun, water, nutrients, and TLC, they thrive. When they are neglected, they wither and die. Tip: A good lesbian girlfriend finds time to nurture the bond with her partner. Spend time with your partner. Focus solely on each other when together on a date. Share interests, hobbies, sports, etc. 5. Accept and forgive People in relationships often make mistakes, say hurtful words or let their partner down. Tip: A good lesbian girlfriend accepts that her partner is an imperfect human being, who nonetheless tries her best. In the same way, a good lesbian girlfriend knows that she herself is also an imperfect human being who will make mistakes. Own up when you mess up. Forgive and love your partner when they mess up. 6. Be faithful This one hardly needs saying. When a person is in a committed relationship, she is duty-bound to be faithful to her partner. Tip: A good lesbian girlfriend doesn’t give her partner cause to doubt her or lose trust in her. Trust can take a lifetime to build and only moments to destroy. Be faithful. Show them you have their back, always. You chose them, after all. Source

FIRST dates are all about people getting to know each other. People are nervous enough and are already trying to put their best foot forward to either secure a second date or decide what the next step would be without having to worry about a food- related incident. It’s not a matter of forming or not being authentic but it’s the first date and the food you know how to eat very well could end up embarrassing you( even simple common ice cream/ pop corn). All our finesse and efforts could be wasted if we tried any of these meals: A) Spaghetti : No matter how appetizing the spaghetti is, slurping and chewing while trying to get to know each other is a no-no. It’s either you trying to cut the spaghetti strands into smaller pieces or attempting to suck on the spaghetti. B)Eba and Soup: This is the first date we are talking about. Leafy leafs could get stuck in your teeth while okra/ ogbonno needs no explanation, the drawing nature of the soup explains it all. C)Beans: The more you eat, the more you whoops. Be classy and not gassy- just forget the beans. Apart from beans causing you to fart, you’d be full quickly and ruin your plans for dessert if you made any. D)Salads: Salads take long to chew and it getting between your teeth is never a good look. E)Anything with Onions: Onion breath is terrible, it could end the date. F)Spicy Foods: If you can handle the heat, good for you but don’t risk it. Running nose and sweating is not a good look. No one is forcing you to appear macho by eating spicy meals. G)Vanilla Ice-cream/ Junk: Except you want to appear childish don't take junk meal or the vanilla flavour of ice-cream H)Bad table manners: Bad table manners should obviously be avoided at all costs. DO NOT chew with your mouth open and speak with a mouthful of food. Basic manners and a little common sense would go a long way. Source

GOVERNOR Akinwumin Ambode of Lagos State, yesterday accused religious leaders of pushing political leaders to steal by the way they patronized the politicians and other influential individuals in the society who now do anything possible to meet up with the expectation. Ambode who spoke at the annual public lecture organized by Christian Conscience, claimed religious leaders made higher demand from people in government without thinking about what they would meet such demand. Represented Commissioner for Home Affairs, Dr. Abdul-hakeem Abdul-Lateef, the governor lamented that the common man who served God diligently got no recognition while religious leaders were busy patronising political leaders. According to him: “When church and mosque want to do fund raising they will not look for people that are committed to the work of God but rather politicians and people in power whose salary is not up to N500,000 to come and launch N50 million project. This same politicians and people in power, when they came to church late, Pastor will ask congregation to stand up and clap for them whereas the poor person that came early to church nobody recognizes him or her.” Speaking on the theme, “Religion and Corruption: Strategic Direction in Fighting Corruption in Nigeria” said he had reduced the number of time he went to office as people usually besieged his office in hundreds seeking personal assistance. He said: “In my office as commissioner I see about 100 to 200 people daily that came to my office for personal assistant not something that will benefit the larger society, that is why my going to office is strategic because am tired of explaining to people that I don’t have. Corroborating him, a former Minister for Education and Convener of Bring Back Our Girls, BBOG, campaign, Dr. Oby Ezekwesili, said corruption remained the greatest obstacle to Nigeria’s development and that until the problem was tackled from the source, Nigeria would not move forward. According to her: “The church which is meant to be the salt of healing has failed and this is worrisome. We are all comfortable with corruption. There is need to consider reducing opportunities for corruption because battling corruption goes beyond Christian belief. We should enforce prosecution and sanction of bad behaviours to serve as deterrent for other evil doers.” The Special guest lecturer at the Occasion, Prof. Dapo Asaju, said some of the religious leaders had commercialized religion at the detriment of the people. Asaju who is the Bishop Theologian, Church of Nigeria and Vice Chancellor, Ajayi Crowther University, said it was regrettable to see religious leaders riding N30 million car when church members had not eat a day meal. He said: “They have even go a step further to employed the service of bodyguard in the church of God. That is why when they prayed miracle doesn’t happen any longer because they are not in connection with God.” The Chief Host and Chairman, Christian Conscience Group, Mr. Enock Ajiboso, however encouraged faithful religious leaders to join political arena and make difference. Source

Would you drink coffee made from this coffee maker?

As shared on Instagram - 'I will be 38 in just over a month and a half, and while I would LOVE to be married (to my God-chosen companion, and best friend) and have child(ren), I am very comfortable with the knowledge that my life is just as valid, and beautiful, and happy, and successful, if for some reason that never comes to pass. 'Marriage and kids is not my "crowning glory"... It's another BEAUTIFUL step in life I would love to take. I'd also love to make (and keep) a billion dollars in my lifetime, but I won't be any less of a woman or Kemi Adetiba if that didn't come to pass either. 'No... I'm not comparing the two. I'm just highlighting it doesn't diminish a (Wo)man's -Kemi Adetiba's - worth if it never happens. Hello... Good morning ?? Have a great Tuesday.' Ladies, what do you think?

Lol. I found this very funny. Source

I knew that something was wrong the first time I tried to use a tampon. I was about twelve and my mom gave me a box of slender fit Tampax and told me to read the instructions and “just stick it in there.” I tried for about an hour, working to thrust the slim pink applicators inside me, nearly going through the whole box, and with each attempt feeling a stinging pain through my entire body. The smooth plastic had become like knives when it touched my vagina and I couldn’t force it more than a centimeter into myself. “What is wrong with me?” I asked aloud and started weeping. I had already suspected that I was different in some innate and incurable way. While other girls my age had begun kissing boys and casually talked about their breasts as they changed in the locker room, I resented the way my body was starting to soften and hoped that I would never have to even touch a boy. “Buck up!” my mom said when she found me crying. It was her favorite phrase, something that she shared with Katharine Hepburn, another tough woman who took freezing showers well into her 80s and believed in doing what had to be done no matter the pain or occasional rumors of communism. So I kept silent about my discomfort and used pads even though I was a gymnast practicing up to six days a week in only the most minimal of costumes. It wasn’t until I was in college that I was forced to address this particular and shameful pain again. I had been diagnosed with severe anemia after passing out at a friend’s birthday party and rushed to the local Baptist hospital for tests. Nurses there thought that I either had cancer or was anorexic. They also blamed my veganism. “You’re going to have to start eating meat,” one of them told me with a face that made it clear that he blamed me for my illness. However, the doctor they referred me to was a kind, patient woman who thought my low iron levels might be caused by my ever-fruitful and painful period rather than my avoidance of animal products. But she would have to give me a pap smear — my first one. I cried when she told me, my tears flowing embarrassingly down my face and into my lap as I begged, “No, please, I can’t do it. It’s impossible.” She told me that she was gentle and would use the smallest speculum she could find. We scheduled it for two weeks from that day and I wept every day until the appointment. In so many moments in life, the thing you fear turns out to be so much less frightening than you imagine and you feel silly and stupid for being so frightened in the first place. This was not the case. A pap smear can take less than a minute and many women complain only of minor discomfort. I’ve heard so many women tell girls and women undergoing their first examine that it’s “no big deal” and that it will “be over before they know it.” One of my friends told me that all I needed was cute socks to keep my feet warm and comfortable during the examination. This is what happened for me: I started crying as soon as I put my legs into the stirrups. The nurse held my hand and whispered kindly that everything would be okay and just to breath and think about something that made me happy. “Maybe puppies?” she suggested. I saw my doctor look thoughtfully at the nurse and then tell me that she was going to start. Then I felt a blinding pain I had never known was possible. My hips thrust upwards like a girl possessed by demons in some cheap porny horror film. I felt at once like someone was taking a sword and twisting it further and further up inside my vagina and like I was being run over by a car or large animal or being held down by some invisible force while someone pounded my body. I am not prone to exaggeration or fantasy, but there is no better way for me to describe these things. After it was over, I couldn’t speak. The doctor left to find me some juice and crackers and then sat down with the saddest and most compassionate eyes I’ve ever seen a doctor wear. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I know I’ve traumatized you.” Later she would ask if I had ever been raped or sexually abused. When I told her no, she kept asking at each appointment. She eventually gave me a vaginismus diagnosis, a condition that makes any sort of vaginal penetration painful and causes one’s vaginal muscles to spasm or tighten as something penetrates it. There are many possible causes for vaginismus including sexual or physical trauma and can make things so commonly expected of women like childbirth and vaginal intercourse incredibly painful or impossible. There is no definite test used to diagnose vaginismus, but one’s doctor may make a diagnosis after reviewing one’s medical history, asking several questions about one’s symptoms, and possibly conducting a vaginal exam to rule out other issues such as injuries and infections. The prevalence of vaginismus is unknown but has been reported in five to seventeen percent of patients in clinical settings. I was thankful for a name to describe the pain I had been unable to voice for so long. And I was grateful that I was a lesbian and didn’t have to experience penetrative sex if I didn’t want to (what was a stone butch again, I thought). Only of course, it wasn’t so easy. As a lesbian who is incredibly proud of my identity and has had to struggle against those who still find my sexuality shameful (I have never lived outside of a conservative area), I tend to romanticize queer and particularly queer women relationships. I thought that my first real girlfriend, who I had only recently started dating, would understand. She was not particularly empathetic. Rather, she saw it as a challenge that we could overcome or she could fix. I told her not to penetrate me during sex, but she would sometimes attempt to force herself inside me. “I put two fingers inside you just now,” she said once. “You didn’t even notice.” She was trying to show me that my condition was all in my head and that if I worried less and simply let myself be penetrated, I might even enjoy it. Instead I felt betrayed, and I was ashamed of my problem as I had been as a scared 12-year-old, too confused and embarrassed to voice my pain. During the (way too many) years my girlfriend and I dated, I felt closed off during sex and disconnected from by body. I mentioned this to no one and when my doctor asked me about my feelings and fears around sex I would reassure her that everything was fine. I had been taught by almost everyone that this pain was merely in my head and I just needed to “buck up” to overcome it. Around the time that I finally got the courage to end my relationship, I started talking more about the pain that is so intertwined with my understandings of being a woman, of sex, and even of queerness. When I try to research vaginismus online or read other women’s stories, most of it is framed within the concept of heterosexual relationships and how women with this ailment can enjoy sex with their male partners. There is very little about queer women’s experiences and the particular kind of shame that exists when one’s female partner is engaging in harmful sexual behavior. I’m dating a woman now who is the kindest, gentlest person I have ever met. She cares for me in ways that I never expected and never thought I deserved. One day early in our relationship, I tried to casually mention my vaginismus to her by telling her how much I hate getting pap smears. She was driving and I was smiling as if it were just a quirky fact about me — no big deal. However, she didn’t absorb this information casually and was immediately concerned, asking me what I needed during sex and outside of it and how she could care for me and support me. I told her that the cause of my problem may be emotional (one of the ways I try to invalidate my own experience) and she told me that emotional causes are just as important as physical ones and that she would always take my pain and my fears seriously. I felt seen by her in a way that I had never experienced, and when we had sex, she asked permission before touching me in each new place, asking me if I was okay, if I felt good, if I was happy. I don’t know if my vaginismus will ever go away or if I will feel more comfortable with penetration now that I have such a loving partner (as some people claim). But I also think that’s not the point. Rather, I think all of us in this queer community and world must continue expanding the conversation about queerness, sex, and pain as to make such expressions not courageous but expected. Source

Assistant Commissioner of Police and Head of the Public Complaint Rapid Response Unit (PCRRU) at the Force headquarters, Abuja - Abayomi Shogunle shared tweets this morning advising Nigerian men not to marry women whose mothers were the sole decision-maker of their home. He also adviced Women not to marry men whose fathers were irresponsible. Ladies, do you agree? Source

Nigerian police have arrested Ralph Duro, the president of an all-male group at the University of Ado Ekiti, who apparently faces homosexuality charges stemming from an anti-gay police undercover operation. Earlier in the anti-gay police operation, in May 2016 in the Adebayo area of Ado Ekiti, police arrested two young men [Salami O. and Olu Deji] suspected to be gay. They were identified as members of an exclusive men’s group at the University of Ado Ekiti. At first, they denied accusations of homosexuality that were leveled against them, saying that it was a setup. Allegedly they both were tortured by police to force them to confess. They were also confronted with evidence from an undercover officer (name withheld) who had joined the group, pretending to be gay. At that point, the pair stopped denying the allegations. In their confessions, they admitted having belonged to an all-male secret group through which they met men who gave them money in exchange for sex. They also named a sponsor of the group, Victor Osanyintuyi, who is now at large, and at least six group members, including Ralph Duro. He was arrested on the 21st of October at his home off campus. He was allegedly forced to provide further details of the group’s sponsors, activities and membership, including Akin Olushola, Bashir Apkon, Victor Sunday, Femi Ola and Prof. Segun Benson. Nigerian law provides prison sentences of up to 10 years for a “public show of same-sex amorous relationship” and for belonging to any “gay organization.” Source

Queen Sugar and True Blood star Rutina Wesley, who plays queer on both series, has been increasingly more open about her relationship with a New Orleans-based chef whose Instagram handle is Chef Shonda. While Wesley has been sharing photos of the pair on her Instagram account for just over a week, this weekend she posted a gallery of the two of them appearing happily in love and engaged. The first photo Wesley posted was of the two of them at a Queen Sugar finale event and then another one a few days later of the duo smiling in a car with the caption, “#FromTheInsideOut You are the sunshine of my life...” This weekend the actress, who’s also appeared on Hannibal and Arrow, posted an affirmational quote followed by a gallery that ends with a picture of an engagement ring presumably on her finger. Despite the lovely photos of the two of them, including one of Wesley gently kissing Chef Shonda’s cheek, it’s the caption Wesley wrote for the gallery that is most telling. She referred to Chef Shonda as “light of my life,” “fire of my loins,” “my sin,” and “my soul.” She added the hashtags “Always more, never less. I said yes,” “I was looking at her and found my joy,” “She feeds my soul,” and “I love you more than words.” Wesley was married to actor Jacob Fishel from 2005 to 2013. Source

It has long been the subject of speculation but in this interview with Dele Momodu, former Cross Rivers state governor, Donald Duke has definitively expressed his desire to run for president on the platform of the PDP. He is of the opinion that zoning should be discarded. He also stated that PDP has a good chance to unseat APC in the next election if they put their house in order and get their strategy right. Read excerpts below. DELE: Will you run the Presidential race? DUKE: "Dele, do you want to hear the truth? I seriously want to run but my party, PDP, would have to decide on many things… Our party is well-positioned to win the next election if we can change our style a bit and beat APC at its own game. We must take advantage and benefit from our experience since 1999. Despite our apparent mistakes, Nigerians can now compare and contrast us with APC. What do we need to win the next elections? We must go to the field with our best candidates. We must learn from how we select our footballers. No one cares where you come from. Can you play well? Pronto. We must show clearly that we are more democratic. Zoning is good, but it has not worked well in Nigeria. The time has come to unleash the best brains from every part of Nigeria. We must galvanise our youths. They will never follow or support us if we can’t show how we are different and far better than APC." The ex-governor promises a permanent turn around in the country's fortunes and a new era if elected. He said: "If I can get the ticket of my Party, I’m certain that with the support of our members and the youths of Nigeria yearning for urgent restoration of hope, we shall defeat APC. I’m certain Nigerians are anxiously waiting for a leader with proven record of vigour and excellence. They will come out en masse to vote if they see such a candidate. And I promise to join hands with my Party to free Nigeria permanently from recession, oppression and depression. We know what to do to unlock the potentials of our vibrant youths and we possess the most important gift of all, the trust in our ability to take development to every part of our great country and attract our most fertile minds back home from all over the world. Our international friends are also waiting to support the right leadership when they see one. It would be the dawn of a new era in Nigeria." Source

Would you make out with or pass?

Kenny Badmus shares story of the Nigerian man he met at the gym yesterday. I saw a Nigerian man at the fitness center tonight. I knew he was Nigerian and a Yoruba man because he pronounced 'eat' as 'heat,' and 'walk' as 'work.' Just the way I speak. His body stretched out of a trunk of pure muscles rooted in black power. When he walked, he carried himself with measured chaos as though he was holding a basketball between his thighs. I saw a Nigerian man at the fitness center tonight. Though I never spoke to him, I eavesdropped on his phone call and heard he called someone my baby girl. "Baby girl," he said, "Tell Junior, daddy loves him. I'm still at the office, and I doubt I will come home tonight." When he got off the call, his brows broke a sweat as he balanced his shoulders under the squat bar. He scanned me with his large brown eyes; I clutched a dumbbell with a fist of disbelief and awe. I saw a Nigerian man at the fitness center tonight. He tied a white towel around his tapered waist as he shuffled around in the locker room looking for something. I looked around, and there's only one other person at the gym. The other person smiled and walked away from the Nigerian man and me. I saw a Nigerian man at the fitness center tonight. He was biting his nails as he approached the shower. When he turned and saw me looking at him, he widened his eyes, straightened his lips and stared at me longer than I could bear. I saw a Nigerian man at my fitness center tonight. He lingered on in the shower stall and scrubbed his body endlessly. By 11:25 PM, I dried my body, poured some cocoa butter on my skin, laced my Adidas and walked away as fast as I could. I saw a Nigerian man at the fitness center tonight. I couldn't walk away from him. On my way out, the detective in me took over my dark soul and ordered me to go back. I climbed back the stairs and tiptoed to the shower holding my breath. I saw a married Nigerian man at the fitness center tonight. He knelt down in the shower stall sucking another man's dick. If you are his baby girl, quit trying to change him into a man you want him to be. This man has taken a knee, and the game is over. I saw a Nigerian man at the fitness center tonight. Lord, I'm on my knees right now praying that he has the courage to tell his baby girl what keeps him back at work this late. I pray dear Lord that he quits filling his emptiness with sex and that he embraces who he is because I used to be that guy who told my wife I was working late tonight.

The Nigerian women's two-person bobsleigh team made history on Wednesday, by becoming the first African team ever to qualify for a Winter Olympics in the sport. Driver, Seun Adigun including Breakmen Ngozi Onwumere and Akuoma Omeoga, completed the fifth of their required five qualifying races in Calgary on Wednesday. Their qualification, make them the first Winter Olympians to represent the West African nation. They will be representing Nigeria at the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea. The three beautiful ladies are the first ever Nigeria Women's Bobsled Team. Congrats to the ladies!! Bobsleigh is a winter sport in which teams of two or four teammates make timed runs down narrow, twisting, banked, iced tracks in a gravity-powered sled. Source

Aww. Watch this lesbian couple go through IUI. Pregnancy Test Results Enjoy!

Although Nigeria prohibits same-sex marriage and threatens same-gender-loving people with 14 years in prison, two courageous Nigerian queer women have launched “Pride Diaries,” a new podcast exploring issues that affect the lives of LGBT Nigerians. The two anonymous Nigerians launched the podcast this past June during LGBT Pride month. In an online chat, one of them told NoString that the idea for the podcast was inspired by their own personal experiences as they talked casually about queer issues: “I was sitting with a few queer friends one afternoon and we were talking about our relationships. Somehow the conversation went to how we discovered our queerness. Everyone had an interesting story and I just thought how could we share these stories. That’s how the podcast idea came. We wanted to tell people our stories, to let them know we are human too, with normal lives.” The first episode, titled “Love is Love,” made its debut on June 27. Episodes of the podcast are put together using recorded voice-notes from participants who share their personal experiences on issues ranging from homophobia to coming out and from religion to sexuality. This is another opportunity for people to learn about what it truly means to be gay, countering the lies and sensationalism about homosexuality that often appears in mainstream media. To listen to previous episodes of the “Pride Diaries” podcasts, visit https://soundcloud.com/thepridediaries or find them on Twitter at https://twitter.com/thepridediaries. Source

Versatile, simple, and almost everyone has one: bullet vibrators are essentially the little black dress of the sex toy world. I understand the temptation to just use them as you think you should: pressed right up against your clit until you orgasm, before popping out to the kitchen to make yourself a coffee, but there’s the potential to do so much more. Here are some tips on how to have sex using a bullet vibrator, that’'ll hopefully show you that this unassuming sex toy can be the gateway to a new world of possibilities. Test out the different areas of your clit Sure, it’s small on the surface, but you’d be surprised just how much variation there is in your clit, and in what happens where. If you’re used to manual masturbation, you might not be familiar with the level of precision you can achieve with a good bullet vibrator. A great bullet vibrator allows you to pinpoint exactly where you want the vibrations to be. Some people report that a particular side of their clit is more sensitive, while others prefer to stimulate somewhere just above or below it. If you’re especially sensitive, or you’re packing a bullet vibe that has a lot of power – you can also try using it outside the labia; by covering the clit, the vibrations are dulled slightly, which gives you a slower build up to orgasm. As an added bonus, the more you experiment with your technique, the better you’ll be at directing someone else if you want to use your bullet while shagging. Which is handy, and means you get to play the sexy teacher giving them a crash-course in how best to make you come. You don’t always have to go straight to orgasm I’ve heard of ‘edging’ mentioned far more frequently in relation to guys having a wank than girls, and I think that’s a shame. Edging is the practice of bringing yourself close to the ‘edge’ of orgasm, but not quite tipping yourself over it. Then you have a brief break, get back to it, reach the edge again, and keep doing this until you build to a state of super-heightened arousal, where literally any time you touch yourself you think you’re going to explode. Fun, right? Obviously. Edging can be one of the most delightful ways to kill an hour or so, and a bullet vibrator makes this so much easier, because you’re not having to worry that you’ll get hand-cramp halfway through and have to give the whole thing up and go sit on a washing machine or something. Use your bullet vibrator to bring yourself to the edge, then repeat and repeat until you can’t repeat any more. Especially useful when you’ve got a night in lined up and you’ve got no decent box sets to watch on Netflix. Examine the bullet vibrator pulse settings Back in the day most vibrators came with a selection of speeds from ‘rubbish and weak’ to ‘buzzes like a horde of angry bees’. These days the tech has moved on, and a decent bullet vibrator will come with a selection of different pulse settings. Like your phone when it rings on silent, but in a whole variety of different patterns. I was initially sceptical of these settings, because why on Earth would I want something to go‘on/off/on/off’ when instead it could be permanently jammed against my clit, and shoved ‘on’ to the highest setting? It turns out they’re bloody excellent, though. Like a meal which comes with salad so you appreciate the chips more, pulse settings give you a bit of a contrast. It’s essentially a clitoral massage, and exploring these massage settings means even more excuses to lock yourself in your bedroom with some loud music and a hard-drive full of porn. Use a bullet vibrator during sex I shouldn’t need to mention this, should I? OK, I should, and I will. Because after Nicki Minaj’s fierce and righteous proclamation that she demands orgasms from sex, we need to mention the fact that most people with clits find it easier to come clitorally than they do from penetrative sex. Given this, if you love your bullet vibrator and you struggle to come during penetrative sex, then for God’s sake please say so – it’ll help us challenge the myth that everyone wants exactly the same kind of sex, and introduce more people to the range of sexual variety that exists within different human bodies. By this point you should have a good idea of exactly the kind of setting you like, and know exactly the right place to put it. Show your partner, lie back, and enjoy a clitoral orgasm that both of you get to take part in. If your other half is reluctant, let them know that when you come, the muscles in your vagina are likely to twitch and spasm in a way that feels like a top-class milking machine. There are plenty of other ways to use a bullet vibrator during sex, of course – if you’d rather be in control, then placing it between you and your partner when you’re on top means you can do that fun tribbin thing. Use a bullet vibrator on things other than your clit Obviously, the clit is the place it’s most likely to give you an orgasm. Feel free to ease your partner into it by using the bullet on their sensitive bits: nipples, clit, labia minora, labia majoria, and the vagina. Basically, anywhere with nerve endings can be stimulated, and as long as it’s somewhere on the outside of your body (never ever stick a bullet vibe up your arse), it’s perfectly safe. Final tip: if you’ve got a bullet vibrator and you want to explore some of the best ways to use it, make sure you’ve got it fully charged (or with fresh batteries) before you begin. It’s fun, and time flies, and nothing’s worse than having a sex toy die on you when you’re a bare three seconds from climax. Source