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I knew where I had to go next but first, I finished my blunt and washed my knife. I waited for the guilt they always said would follow when you killed your first person, but there was none. Somehow, I just knew that this wouldn't be my last. I went to his fridge and poured myself a healthy sum of brandy. He always was a sucker for brandy, pity he wouldn't ever drink or breath or even use his d**ck again. I spied on his dead body and waited for the remorse but still nothing. I ransacked his wardrobe and pulled on one of his T-shirt, well he wouldn't be needing it now. I chuckled deep in my stomach and imagined if this was how monsters were made! It didn't take long for me to find the house. I had grown up here, even though it had been a terrible childhood. Still, this had been my childhood home. Maybe it was the adrenaline, I just knew that I was now too bad to use the door, so I jumped into her room through the window. She wasn't in the room, so she was definitely at the balcony rolling a couple of blunts to pass the night. Like mother like daughter. Ha! Ha! Ha! I sat on her bed, waiting. I knew she would come in when she was done, and she would sit at that corner, in her favorite chair, smoking and listening to reggae songs from her old radio. She wouldn't change on me now would she? She hadn't changed obviously, ten minutes later, she entered the room, turned on her radio and sat in her chair. She picked up one well wrapped blunt and lit it, she took about three pulls as I watched on, at lost of what to do next. "So they let you out, or you escaped again as usual?" She asked as she relaxed on her swing chair, pulling and puffing, totally ignoring me. I was shocked out of my reverie, it was so like my mother to know I was there all this while. "Hello mother" I said, returning her calm tone. "Why wouldn't you just accept help? They could have cured you!" "Cure me from what mother? Who ever have I killed? Why did you do it? Why did you pay uncle to start raping me at thirteen? What kind of a mother are you?" She stood up just then and smacked me hard across the face. It hurt as hell and my eyes watered. "What did you expect? That I would welcome your savagery and unnatural acts with outstretched arms? What kind of a daughter are you?" "I am what I am mother, I didn't chose this life, I never did anything to hurt anyone and don't tell me about nature, you know nothing about mother nature!" "You would have hurt our reputation, you stupid little bitch!" "We have a reputation? Yes we do, you are the junkie whore who married a man that loved her to death" "Don't you dare!! I did what I had to do" "I killed him, I slit his throat, my uncle," She laughed loudly and continued with her blunt. "I do not have any f***ks to give. He had a simple job, I paid the bastard but alas he failed. I heard you still go about looking for p**sy to eat. I rue the day I bore you!" I always knew she never loved me, but hearing her say this hurt me morethan I could have imagined. "I doubt that you really are my mother" "Oh how I wish I wasn't, sadly I got married as expected, I never wanted children but society never would have forgiven me. I should have followed my instincts, luckily I didn't bother having more. You self centered bitch, how hard is it to just find a man and get married to him? What did you think? You naive stupid girl, you thought you would meet a nice girl, get married, settle down and life would just be rainbows and sunshine? News flash! Nobody is happy, no marriage is happy, no perfect ending, we all end up f***ked, so why not get f***ked doing the seemingly right thing?" "I am not like you, I cannot get pressured into doing something I believe is wrong" "Now you think you are better than me? We are nothing alike, unlike you I care about family" " Oh shut up mother! Your f***king idea of care is paying someone to rape your young daughter, you need rehabilitation more than I do. My daddy wouldn't ever have allowed this, it's a pity the good ones die early" "Simple reason why I smothered him in his sleep. He was a weakling, always has been. He actually wanted us to accept you the way you were! All those books he read must have really affected him in the head" I started to shake where I stood. My mother was really the worst of them. Had she just casually accepted that she had killed my father? God! Who was she?? "You witch!" I screamed as I started to reach for my knife but she was faster and she smacked me again and my lip broke again for a third time today. I released my knife and smacked her back. She fell backwards and landed on her butt. "I should have aborted you as a foetus, I should have killed you in your crib. You have brought nothing but shame and disgrace to me. It is never too late" She was on her feet before I could react and I finally pulled out my knife as she raised her bed, picked her pistol and cocked the gun. She laughed hysterically. "You always tried to take your own life, I am so nice that I don't mind helping you. Finally you get to end your sad miserable life. And just so you know, your uncle and I were lovers." "You wouldn't really kill your only child, would you? I am the last family you have" "Stop trying to make me feel guilty, I know what you came here to do, and now you cry foul because I beat you to it?" I looked around me quickly as I tried to find shield but nothing. She fired the first shot and it hit my shoulder. I fell with the impact and i knew that shot had destabilized her, she was trying to recover and cock the gun again when I acted fast. I rushed into her and we both fell to the ground in a mass of tangled limbs and blood. The gun slid to the floor and clattered away from us. I sat astride her and reached for her neck the same time she reached for mine. She started to choke the life out of me. I felt my lungs closing in but I didn't relent as I tried to choke her back. I was young and strong and soon she grew tired and her hands went lax. I jumped off her and bolted for the gun. I grabbed it and stood opposite her, watching as she struggled to stand. She rubbed her throat and I could see the tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. "We can get past this, I am ready to give you a second chance" She said weekly as she made to come closer to me. "Don't you move another inch, it's too late" "It's never too late to make amends baby, we can start again and get to know each other" "All I ever needed was your love and acceptance, why should I trust that you are ready to give that now?" "Because I am your mother and there is a bond that can never be broken between us" "Really mother?" "Really. Come here." I lowered the gun as I started to sob, heart wrenching deep sobs. I walked toward my mother's outstretched arms. Never in my life had she hugged me. She held me tight and it felt like heaven, she smelt of Jasmine and roses and she was all soft. My mother. I pulled the trigger quickly, twice in succession. My gun had been pressed to her stomach all these while and I felt her blood spill into me. The knife she had been holding clattered to the floor but I still didn't release her limp body. I held her for a while more till I felt that it was enough. I kissed her forehead and released her, and her lifeless body landed on the floor. I didn't look at her again as I stepped over her to her chair. I sat there, listening to her radio, smoking her blunt. When I was done, I changed my shirt once more to that of my mother's and wrapped my bloodied arm in my old shirt. I lit another blunt and walked around the house, gathering my father's personal effects. When I was done, I poured fuel round the house, lit a match to the house and left without ever looking back...........

I picked up my mobile and dialed his number. He picked on the third ring and I breathed nervously as I called out to him. "Hello!" "I am home, you know my schedule, why bother ask?" His voice was a rich baritone that I have come to associate with so many things and even right now, I felt my stomach tie up in little knots. He dropped the call and I sighed. I paced up and down my dingy apartment as I lit a joint. What I was going to do was massive and risky in ever way imaginable but for me to move on, I knew I had to do this. I wore my favorite ripped jeans and a tank top, I pulled a loose fitting shirt on it and I let it fly open, I wasn't going to button that shirt. In my mind's eyes, I was in my war clothes. I pulled a bandana over my head and packed my pocket knives. I hid them strategically and said a word of prayer to the statue of Mary sitting in the midst of candles on a table by the corner. I hailed a motorcycle and soon I was in his house. I let myself in and as usual, I found him on his bed, stroking what I have come to realize was a massive cock. "Come here." He said in that Creepy baritone and it irked me. The devil on my shoulder spoke to me to get this over with but now that I was here, all of my bravado had fled. I had tears in my eyes as I took off my shirt, I climbed astride him with my jeans still on but he was impatient, as usual, he wanted to be inside of me as soon as he could. He was struggling with my jeans when the tail of the knife appeared and he smacked me straight in the face. My mouth opened into a nasty cut and I started to bleed. "After everything?? You still have that silly notion of revenge stuck in your head? I thought you promised to stop?" He was mad now and so was I, I knew his next move so I sprang to my feet and bolted to the kitchen. I turned the bolt and sat there on the floor. What had I been thinking? This wasn't going as planned. "You stupid bitch, open this door!!!!" I stood up quickly and tried to barricade the door. When I was done I stood there and waited. He started to pound on the weak wooden door and I knew that soon, the door would give. I needed a new plan. "All I was trying to do was fix you, I wanted to help but you are just an ungrateful little bitch" He spewed more and more of his filth while I looked around, knowing that I had to defend myself when he eventually burst through the door. I saw a rolling pin and I grabbed it and took position. The moment he burst through I attacked and knocked him out. Even when I realized he was out, I didn't stop, I pummeled him again and again till I started to cry. "f***k you! f***k you! God I'm sorry" I kept saying till I calmed down. I didn't want to kill him, at least not yet. I got off him and took off my tank top soaked in his blood. I pulled him to the huge table and quickly got ropes to tie him to the leg of the table. I knew he would be conscious soon. When I was satisfied, I sat opposite him and lit another joint while I waited for him to come to. It took about thirty minutes. He looked around before finally settling his eyes on me. He chuckled deeply and spat blood right in my face. I stood up and smacked him hard across the face. He winced in agony and made choking noises. "Why did you do it?? I was only thirteen when you started, what did I do to deserve any of that?" He laughed deeply. "You naive girl, isn't it obvious? You were turning into a demon, into one of those possessed girls we see on television." " I am a demon because I like girls? What do you think you are?" I said in anger as I kicked a bucket. "I wanted the best for..." I smacked him square again as i cursed obscenely. "You care only about yourself and your pleasure, raping me constantly, wanting to change me. Newsflash I still love girls, if anything, I like them better" "You lie, you get wet for me." He said cockily. "I get wet for you? Listen, a woman's body is programmed to react in certain situations, when you are cold, you get goose bumps, when you are bored, you yawn, and if an erogenous spot is touched, the body secrets fluid, do not ever mistake wetness for want. I never wanted anything you did to me" "You know nothing. You are still a child" "A child you have been raping for thirteen years. Why did you do it?" " You want the truth? Your hoe of a mother paid me to do it. There, chew on that little bitch" He spat again and I was too shocked to react. I felt myself falling but for the life of me, I couldn't stop gravity. I collapsed in a heap, trying to assimilate this new information but my head kept rejecting it. "You liar, you just want to mess with my head. My mother never liked me but she is my mother, she would never pay my low life uncle to rape me at thirteen." I said slowly shaking my head from side to side. He laughed that devilish laugh and nodded. "Even when it is obvious, your love for your mother still blinds you. Who saw you when you were kissing that demonic neighbor's daughter, who brought you to my house every weekend and later on started sending you on errands to me from time to time, who never listened to you when you complained that I was raping you? Open your eyes and see!" I gulped noisily as my mind worked. Everything he said was true. My mother had done all these things and more. She had beat me to a coma and accused me of defaming my lovely uncle once I complained of him. My daddy had always been on my side but he had slept and never woken up. "Oh my God!!" I screamed as I started to cry. My mother had ruined my life, I had spent half of my life in rehabilitation centers for drug abuse and for trying to kill myself on several occasions and I have my mother to thank for it? "You thought you were special? Beautiful or What? Why should I bother with you?" The rage prompted me and before I knew it I was behind him, holding his head up as I sliced his throat open. I felt powerful, I felt like it was right, ending this thing that started thirteen years ago. I pushed his head carelessly away from myself as I sat there and watched him as he breathed his last. I finished my joint and I knew where else I had to go....

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