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  1. So you have a harness, a dildo, and enthusiasm. What’s next? A strap-on blow job can be part of foreplay, a main sex act, or part of cleanup. No matter where it fits in, build excitement by making out, grinding against each other, dirty talking, or whatever your sex pregame usually looks like. If you’re the one giving the blow job, start by being a tease with touches that get close to or lightly brush over the strap-on, without really engaging with it yet. When everyone is ready to go, move into position and go to town. “An easy way to start is by slowly licking up the shaft and around the head of the dildo. It’s hot and useful, since more saliva makes everything glide smoothly. You can also use this in between sucking and stroking with your hand if you need a break or more lubrication,” says FemmeCock. Then, take the strap-on into your mouth. If it’s long, or if you don’t want it too deep, wrapping your hand around the base can keep it from going too far back in your mouth and can give your partner a firmer surface to grind against if they want one. Resist the urge to bite down to control the depth — the dildo won’t notice, but your teeth will. Then, start to move slowly, and build up to a rhythm as you pay attention to your partner’s responses. A lot of your focus will probably be on the dildo, but don’t forget about your partner’s body. “Bring one of their fingers into your mouth right alongside the dildo so they can feel exactly what you’re doing. […] Reach for their body, hold their hands, grab their thighs, involve their butt or whatever is under the strap on, if they like that. Use your hands,” says Sexsmith. If your partner is into vaginal or anal penetration and is wearing a harness that allows for it, you can finger them during the blow job. Start with fewer fingers and add more, use lube if you need it, and use the same rhythm with your fingers as your mouth for extra bonus points. Finally, remember that the best strap-on blow jobs are noisy and messy and embrace it. “Noises are inevitable and can enhance the experience, since strap-on blowjobs rely on sights and sounds, so don’t be embarrassed of slurping or sucking noises. You can also add more intentional sounds, moaning intermittently to show you’re enjoying what’s going on,” says FemmeCock. How To Receive A Strap-On Blow Job If it’s your first time receiving a strap-on blow job, spend some time in advance getting used to wearing the strap-on. “Think about it as part of you. Touch it yourself, get a sense of its edges and shape and weight and size. Let it become part of your body’s proprioception,” says Sexsmith. Then, in the moment, try to relax and concentrate on what you see and feel. Stay present and connected with your partner via touch. Try resting your hand on their shoulder or stroking the back of their neck or the side of their face, but don’t grab their head, pull their hair, choke them, or more forcefully fuck their mouth unless you’ve discussed it. Use sounds or words to let your partner know they’re doing a good job, check in by asking questions your partner can answer by nodding or making a noise, and let your partner know what you’re into. “It can feel like a lot of pressure to have someone watching you go down on them, so it’s important to let your partner know they’re doing a great job through sounds or verbal affirmation. Make sure they’re on the same page as you by asking questions that can be answered with a gesture or short response, like ‘how’s that’ or ‘are you enjoying my cock?’ Communicate what you want and like; if you find something to be super hot, you can say things like ‘that feels so good’ or ‘I love when you go a little slower,’” says FemmeCock. Use non-verbal expression, too. “The way a lover can tell that you like things is by your movement, sound, and breath. Let those things out,” says Sexsmith. Source
  2. Lesbians who like penetration may want to try a dildo for strap-on sex. Here are some tips for great sex with a dildo or strap-on: 1. Find the right dildo. Here are some tips for buying the right dildo for your needs. 2. Get used to your new toy. Put on your harness and dildo and get used to how it feels before jumping right into bed with your partner. Have her help you into the harness. The tighter it is, the more control you will have and the more sensation you will feel. 3. Don't forget foreplay. Kiss her. Touch her. Get her excited and turned on before you penetrate. 4. Put a condom on your dildo and use plenty of lube, even if she seems lubricated. Slippery and wet is much more enjoyable. 5. Go slow and easy the first time. Angle your dildo upwards, not back toward her spine. Let your partner guide you in how fast, slow, deep, rough or easy you go. 6. Try different positions. Old fashioned missionary position allows for face to face intimacy. Doggy-style allows you to penetrate further inside her. 7. Use your hands. Remember the foreplay? Keep at it, caressing her where she likes it most. 8. Mix it up. Experiment with oral sex. Watching their lover go down on a dildo is a big turn on for many dykes. If you want to experiment with anal penetration, take it slow and easy and use lots of lube. Remember to change condoms any time you change orifices. 9. Communication is key. As with any sex, talking about what you like, don't like, what you want, what feels good is very important. Listen and pay attention to her body language. Ask her if it feels good. Does she want it deeper, faster, and slower? 10. Remember if you share any sex toy, to change the condom! Source
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