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My birthday which was on the 18th of April wasn't really anything to write home about due to the lockdown. And then even if there wasn't any, it would not have been any fun(I can be boring ). The only thing that made my day was the fact that my friend thought it good in her heart to send me money even without me asking or expecting her too. No friend has ever done that for me. We have barely known each other for a year and she could do that. I was shocked. Though we met during the ending of my service year. She was posted to where I was and since then we have been inseperable. A good friend indeed. I know we all have friends that we roll and hang out with, friends that invites us to parties and all that crazy shit. But do we really have friends that come through for us when we are down, feeling discouraged, provide us with jobs connect and info, visit us when we are sick, send money without you asking when you're broke, do little things that matter the most, do we really have such friends?? If your answer is yes, then my dear your on the right side of life. I don't really have friends, but when I do I am sure to keep the ones that wouldn't let me down when I need them. It's not all about having a group of friends but having someone who got your back no matter what. Keeps friends that won't get jealous when you start to succeed, that won't complain that you don't call them and all that because they know you always have them in your heart. Keep friends that will always come through.👌

Most people have been victims of hurt and betrayal inflicted by fake friends; and if we are honest, some of us have been fake friends too. Here are some factors that make us victims of fake friends. The person became a friend too fast You meet someone and in two hours decide you’re best friends? My dear, good things take time. The friendship is based on a shallow or negative bond Did you guys become friends because your boyfriends are close or you’re the happening crew? While these are good things, there has to be deeper bonds to a friendship. You have to know that you can show up rolled in mud and they’d hold your hand. Did you guys become friends because you gossiped together or are bullies/trolls,etc? There is no honor among thieves. I had a friend who gossiped about a mutual friend of ours the very day we hung out together. She told me ‘I prefer your type of people because you are well trained; not like x that is a user’. I made a mental note that day to keep her at arm’s length. Three years down the line, I was the subject of her gossip with that same X that she said didn’t have home training. She knew nothing about me, so she had to make up a theory in her head that I was jealous of her. This person uses others Some people do not have the ability to make friends, they just use and manipulate people. Make friends with that person at your own peril. There is silent competition If we are honest with ourselves, we know when a little competition is brewing, that’s the time to create some distance and love from afar, so that you and the person don’t hurt each other. You are a user/troll/queen bee Some of us, especially those with esteem issues, put others down and create some sort of clique. What then happens is that for others to survive socially, they pretend to be your friend and care about you. When you put them down, they laugh about it, even though they are hurt. They do anything to be in your good books. The challenge with being this kind of person is that strong, emotionally healthy people see through you and want nothing to do with you. They stay out of your way, thus you attract your type, or weak and shallow people. The day you need help, you realise that all your friends are gone; they were never your friends. They simply needed to survive. In fact, some of them might kick you when you are down. You are not emotionally healthy When you are healthy, you can see through negativity; if you don’t do that early, you can’t walk away. Authenticity is not being afraid to walk alone. You don’t understand seasons Life comes in seasons and you must also be ready to embrace it. If the time set for a friendship has elapsed and you force it, hurt begins to set in. You don’t appreciate independence and forgiveness Your friend is not an extension of you. When you over involve yourself in your friends’ lives, they could hurt you in a bid to regain their independence. Forgiveness is also important. Peter was a friend of Jesus who denied him, because he was afraid. We need to allow our friends be themselves, accept their shortcomings and forgive honest mistakes. They were never your friends I’m not saying they were fake friends, I’m saying they never even considered you a friend. They were just being polite. Most people know what they want, and decide if they want to be friends with you. Sometimes, someone views us as a colleagues/neighbours, and we view them as best friends; that’s where the hurt comes. Life happens Actually sh**t happens. While we try to protect ourselves, life still happens even to the wisest of us. Remember, he that must have friends, must himself be a friend. If you get hurt, learn, forgive yourself and move on. Source

I kissed a girl and I liked it, but I don't think she did She's my best friend, and she has a boyfriend. I'm her best friend and I have a girlfriend. Well technically I do... I still remember the first time I saw her. It was right after Law school and I was starting NYSC. We met at a friend's party and it was like we knew each other for longer than that. We talked about growing up, common friends, the sorry state of Nigeria and where we saw ourselves in 10 years. She was witty, a little self deprecating, but quite genuine. We laughed a lot that night. I had a car so i dropped her at home and from then on, we started hanging out often. I was very honest with her about my attraction for girls and she took it in stride. She made jokes about me crushing on her in the future, but that was all there ever was to it. But our friendship picked off and we became thick as thieves. We hung out often after work, at her house and at mine, with her siblings and with mine, with her boyfriend and with other friends. Everything was dandy. But just because the lesbian gods are never satisfied with a good thing, I found myself looking at her with lust one day. So it wasn't like I didn't know she was attractive, I did. I appreciated her good looks and paid her compliments anytime she dressed up. I'm also one of those people who would never put sex ahead of friendship so she had already been put firmly in the friend zone. I had seen her in different stages of undress on several occasions, slept on the same bed with her more times than I can count, and helped her put on and take off clothes plenty times. I had seen her body in all its glory many, many times. But this one time, while gisting and grooving at her brother's wedding reception, the light hit her face a certain way and I suddenly saw her in a different light. Pun intended. It was like I had been punched in the guts by a stranger and all of a sudden, I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to hold her, grab her right there on the dance floor, twirl her around and have her rock me right in front of everyone. I wanted to feel her back pressed against my breast, her bum rubbing against crotch and have my hands guide her movements. At this moment, I was on fire just looking at her with lust and desire. I blinked my eyes a couple of times, shook my head and tried to put it out of my head. Of course she was attractive and this was bound to happen I told myself. I chucked it down to general hornyness and tried to forget it ever happened. Sadly, I didn't succeed. In the next few weeks, I tried many times to get her out of my mind but I never really succeeded. She was the person I started imagining anytime I masturbated, and when I met some cute girl in Jos and kissed her, it was my friend I imagined I was kissing. Oh boy, casala don burst! So I decided there was nothing else to do but tell her. Great idea right? Wrong! I mentioned in passing that I had thought of her while kissing the girl in Jos and she laughed like she had never heard anything funnier. Yup, that was my friend. She laughed, teased me, giggled when I told her everything, and yabbed me for hours. She joked about how hot she was and how she knew that sooner or later, even I wouldn't be able to resist her charms. To be honest, it was a relief for me that she took it this way. We joked about how weird it was that the issue had never come up before for either of us. And then we swept it under the table. She went on with her life like nothing had changed, and I went on with my life hoping everything would change back to the way it was. I was smitten but I was hopeful that it would come to pass without drama. She would catch me staring at her sometimes and just shake her head or wink at me, other times she would laugh and shake her butt in my face if she was anywhere close to me. Every so often, she would compliment how good I looked but nothing over the top. It was a weird but comfortable place to be and I tried to make the best of it. I had started seeing some other girl, (long distance like a proper lesbian) and life was good. And then we played truth or dare. Truth or dare, I hate that game. Hate it! I'm not much of a drinker (by not much, I mean at all) so every single time, I have to spill my guts or do the dare. So unfair. And her boyfriend asked me to kiss her cos he had always been curious about how the 2 of us would handle our chemistry. What chemistry I wondered before she quickly sat on my laps and started kissing me. I could hear the rest of our friends cheering as she held unto my face and kissed me. I could feel my chest pounding as the air we were breathing became hot and heavy. Her lips were against mine, soft, wet and gorgeous, just as I imagined they would be. She grazed her tongue against mine, sucked on my lower lips, bit me playfully and ran her hands down my chest as I gasped for air. I didn't want to think about what was going on, I just gave myself up to feeling everything. I was just a passenger in this amazing activity. Before I could do or say anything more, her weight was off my laps and she was bowing down and curtsying to accept her claps and compliments. I tried to laugh it off and be unaffected but maybe the truth of it was written on my face. She winked at me from across the table where she was now seated by her boyfriend. I blanked through the rest of the night in disbelief until I I looked down later at my phone to see a bbm message from her. 'Stop overthinking it' she said. Followed later by 'It was just a kiss'. I looked down at my phone again and read the words she had written. 'It was just a kiss'. How could something so earth shattering, soul moving and p**sy wetting, be classified as just a kiss? Did she not feel my heart sync with hers the moment her lips touched mine? Did she not feel my world realign when she moved her hands down my chest? I kissed this girl and I liked it. But obviously she didn't feel the same. I applied for a school outside Nigeria a week later. I got admitted and left shortly after. But in the weeks before I left, we spoke less and less. We saw one another even less often. My life had been affected by that kiss and I was devastated she didn't feel a thing. It was just the way it was. Me and long distance girl broke up shortly after as I was no longer committed to her. But when my family and friends dropped me at the airport on my last day in 9ja. She was the last to leave. The last I hugged. I think there might have been a look of longing or regret on her face as I walked away. But maybe it is just wishful thinking. She mouthed 'don't be a stranger' to me as I went past immigration but I think we both knew, strangers was the best we could be from here on out. Truth or dare, I f***king hate that game!!!

Hi Ladies, What a year it has been! We have spent the last couple of weeks thinking about the best possible way to reach out to various groups including but not limited to orphans, students, the elderly, uniform officers e.t.c. It only recently dawned on us that even within our not so small online community there may be one, two or more people who may be distressed financially. It is to this end that we have decided to launch the #HASI – Help A Sister Initiative. As you would expect, this scheme is only open to registered members. To make an application, all you need to do is follow the steps below. You can be rest assured that confidentiality and anonymity will be guaranteed. To apply: Step 1: Write a note (no more than 100 words) on why you deserve the grant. Step 2: Using your registration email address, send a note in (step 1) along with your username as an email to info@naijalez.com Step 3: Admin will post the notes anonymously in the thread created for members to vote and unanimously agree on who the beneficiary should be. Step 4: The note with the most votes is shortlisted and contacted. Step 5: Admin disburses the funds. You may send in your entries from the date of this post valid through to the 20th of December, 2017 as we hope to make disbursement on or before the 23rd of December, 2017. If you read this and think you will like to donate to this initiative, please contact admin privately as well and thank you in advance. PS – considering this is the pilot project, we are looking at a maximum single disbursement of N30,000. Best wishes, FlyJ for the Admins