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Eva Clitoral Massager Eva, a hands-free clit vibe, marries the aesthetics of a Pixar character with the sexual gravitas of an L Word character. The arms hug the lips of your labia while the ridge hits your clit, and it can be worn while somebody special is grinding against you or fingerbanging/intercoursing you. G-Spot Touch Finger Vibe “The first sex toy was the finger,” says the copywriter for this particular toy, revealing a deep primal understanding of lesbian mating rituals. “We’ve improved on that!” the copywriter continues, making a truly bold statement everybody here can appreciate. You can become your very own superheroine when you convert your fingers into android fingers capable of bringing your partner seven unique vibration patterns. SEVEN! If you’ve got your finger inside her, the textured pad at the base of the glove ensures her clit will not get lonely. “It literally feels like a vibrating extension of your hand,” the copywriter adds. I believe it! Fun Factory Sharevibe If you’ve ever been to a potluck you know that if there’s one thing lesbians love to do above all else, it’s SHARE. The Fun Factory Sharevibe lets couples share not only that lentil dish, but also that sweet, sweet vibe. One partner’s got the bulb inside them while the other is gently or mercilessly penetrated with control not possible with more traditional strap-ons. Our reviewer found the Sharevibe to bebest-suited for butch cock-sucking, noting, “there was no cloth harness to have to reach under, no hard silicone base to mess around with and no barrier between my mouth or fingers and any part of her. It was awesome.” Kinky Sprinkles describes it as “an amazing dildo that I have had so many super sexy nights with other female-identified partners.” Active Style Harness W/O Ring They look like traditional black boxer-briefs, ideal for lovers with a penchant for masc underthings who like to keep it simple and understated. But the surprise is that these aren’t traditional boxer-briefs, they’re A HARNESS! Plus they’re a harness you can wash in a washing machine, ’cause if everything goes right, you’re gonna get very messy. This strap-on harness is also a great option for trans women with penises who want to fuck their girlfriends with a dildo. We-Vibe Rave The We-Vibe Rave is a high-tech vibrator with ten vibration modes and a corresponding app. Lesbian couples are very often long distance, and the Rave enables you to take Skype sex up a notch when your girlfriend downloads the app on her phone and controls the vibrator from a million miles away. Thigh Harness A classic toy for lovers with specific access needs, this thigh harness enables your lady to bounce atop and rub all over your glorious, glorious thigh, possibly with her knee in a relatively convenient spot for you, and well who knows honestly what she can do with her free hands! You’re probably too distracted by the extraordinary view of her boobs! A world of possibilities awaits you, my fine friends. Clandestine Mimic Massager Picture this: you’re in a bathtub with your one true love, and you want to go down on her, but you can’t, because then you would drown! That’s where the Clandestine Mimic Massager comes in, enabling you to give your special somebody an oral-sex-esque experience while remaining face to face, above water, head in the clouds like a silly love song. It’s rechargeable with eight vibration speeds and is designed to fit right into your hand. nJoy Pure Wand As Lara the Sous Chef famously told Dana Fairbanks, female ejaculation is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s actually one of the best things ever! The nJoy Pure Wand gave our reviewer her best orgasm ever, and what’s more romantic than that? The Shi/Shi Union Girl Vibe At last we’ve come to our Ultimate Lesbian Sex Toy: designed by a lesbian who truly loves to scissor, the Shi/Shi Union is the first vibrating pleasure device designed specifically for female couples. Two contoured orbs, attached at their base and controlled independently by remote, smash right onto your vulvas and between your interlocked legs for scissoring sensations that’ll send you soaring into a sapphic sex solar system. Source

So you have a harness, a dildo, and enthusiasm. What’s next? A strap-on blow job can be part of foreplay, a main sex act, or part of cleanup. No matter where it fits in, build excitement by making out, grinding against each other, dirty talking, or whatever your sex pregame usually looks like. If you’re the one giving the blow job, start by being a tease with touches that get close to or lightly brush over the strap-on, without really engaging with it yet. When everyone is ready to go, move into position and go to town. “An easy way to start is by slowly licking up the shaft and around the head of the dildo. It’s hot and useful, since more saliva makes everything glide smoothly. You can also use this in between sucking and stroking with your hand if you need a break or more lubrication,” says FemmeCock. Then, take the strap-on into your mouth. If it’s long, or if you don’t want it too deep, wrapping your hand around the base can keep it from going too far back in your mouth and can give your partner a firmer surface to grind against if they want one. Resist the urge to bite down to control the depth — the dildo won’t notice, but your teeth will. Then, start to move slowly, and build up to a rhythm as you pay attention to your partner’s responses. A lot of your focus will probably be on the dildo, but don’t forget about your partner’s body. “Bring one of their fingers into your mouth right alongside the dildo so they can feel exactly what you’re doing. […] Reach for their body, hold their hands, grab their thighs, involve their butt or whatever is under the strap on, if they like that. Use your hands,” says Sexsmith. If your partner is into vaginal or anal penetration and is wearing a harness that allows for it, you can finger them during the blow job. Start with fewer fingers and add more, use lube if you need it, and use the same rhythm with your fingers as your mouth for extra bonus points. Finally, remember that the best strap-on blow jobs are noisy and messy and embrace it. “Noises are inevitable and can enhance the experience, since strap-on blowjobs rely on sights and sounds, so don’t be embarrassed of slurping or sucking noises. You can also add more intentional sounds, moaning intermittently to show you’re enjoying what’s going on,” says FemmeCock. How To Receive A Strap-On Blow Job If it’s your first time receiving a strap-on blow job, spend some time in advance getting used to wearing the strap-on. “Think about it as part of you. Touch it yourself, get a sense of its edges and shape and weight and size. Let it become part of your body’s proprioception,” says Sexsmith. Then, in the moment, try to relax and concentrate on what you see and feel. Stay present and connected with your partner via touch. Try resting your hand on their shoulder or stroking the back of their neck or the side of their face, but don’t grab their head, pull their hair, choke them, or more forcefully fuck their mouth unless you’ve discussed it. Use sounds or words to let your partner know they’re doing a good job, check in by asking questions your partner can answer by nodding or making a noise, and let your partner know what you’re into. “It can feel like a lot of pressure to have someone watching you go down on them, so it’s important to let your partner know they’re doing a great job through sounds or verbal affirmation. Make sure they’re on the same page as you by asking questions that can be answered with a gesture or short response, like ‘how’s that’ or ‘are you enjoying my cock?’ Communicate what you want and like; if you find something to be super hot, you can say things like ‘that feels so good’ or ‘I love when you go a little slower,’” says FemmeCock. Use non-verbal expression, too. “The way a lover can tell that you like things is by your movement, sound, and breath. Let those things out,” says Sexsmith. Source

I knew that something was wrong the first time I tried to use a tampon. I was about twelve and my mom gave me a box of slender fit Tampax and told me to read the instructions and “just stick it in there.” I tried for about an hour, working to thrust the slim pink applicators inside me, nearly going through the whole box, and with each attempt feeling a stinging pain through my entire body. The smooth plastic had become like knives when it touched my vagina and I couldn’t force it more than a centimeter into myself. “What is wrong with me?” I asked aloud and started weeping. I had already suspected that I was different in some innate and incurable way. While other girls my age had begun kissing boys and casually talked about their breasts as they changed in the locker room, I resented the way my body was starting to soften and hoped that I would never have to even touch a boy. “Buck up!” my mom said when she found me crying. It was her favorite phrase, something that she shared with Katharine Hepburn, another tough woman who took freezing showers well into her 80s and believed in doing what had to be done no matter the pain or occasional rumors of communism. So I kept silent about my discomfort and used pads even though I was a gymnast practicing up to six days a week in only the most minimal of costumes. It wasn’t until I was in college that I was forced to address this particular and shameful pain again. I had been diagnosed with severe anemia after passing out at a friend’s birthday party and rushed to the local Baptist hospital for tests. Nurses there thought that I either had cancer or was anorexic. They also blamed my veganism. “You’re going to have to start eating meat,” one of them told me with a face that made it clear that he blamed me for my illness. However, the doctor they referred me to was a kind, patient woman who thought my low iron levels might be caused by my ever-fruitful and painful period rather than my avoidance of animal products. But she would have to give me a pap smear — my first one. I cried when she told me, my tears flowing embarrassingly down my face and into my lap as I begged, “No, please, I can’t do it. It’s impossible.” She told me that she was gentle and would use the smallest speculum she could find. We scheduled it for two weeks from that day and I wept every day until the appointment. In so many moments in life, the thing you fear turns out to be so much less frightening than you imagine and you feel silly and stupid for being so frightened in the first place. This was not the case. A pap smear can take less than a minute and many women complain only of minor discomfort. I’ve heard so many women tell girls and women undergoing their first examine that it’s “no big deal” and that it will “be over before they know it.” One of my friends told me that all I needed was cute socks to keep my feet warm and comfortable during the examination. This is what happened for me: I started crying as soon as I put my legs into the stirrups. The nurse held my hand and whispered kindly that everything would be okay and just to breath and think about something that made me happy. “Maybe puppies?” she suggested. I saw my doctor look thoughtfully at the nurse and then tell me that she was going to start. Then I felt a blinding pain I had never known was possible. My hips thrust upwards like a girl possessed by demons in some cheap porny horror film. I felt at once like someone was taking a sword and twisting it further and further up inside my vagina and like I was being run over by a car or large animal or being held down by some invisible force while someone pounded my body. I am not prone to exaggeration or fantasy, but there is no better way for me to describe these things. After it was over, I couldn’t speak. The doctor left to find me some juice and crackers and then sat down with the saddest and most compassionate eyes I’ve ever seen a doctor wear. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I know I’ve traumatized you.” Later she would ask if I had ever been raped or sexually abused. When I told her no, she kept asking at each appointment. She eventually gave me a vaginismus diagnosis, a condition that makes any sort of vaginal penetration painful and causes one’s vaginal muscles to spasm or tighten as something penetrates it. There are many possible causes for vaginismus including sexual or physical trauma and can make things so commonly expected of women like childbirth and vaginal intercourse incredibly painful or impossible. There is no definite test used to diagnose vaginismus, but one’s doctor may make a diagnosis after reviewing one’s medical history, asking several questions about one’s symptoms, and possibly conducting a vaginal exam to rule out other issues such as injuries and infections. The prevalence of vaginismus is unknown but has been reported in five to seventeen percent of patients in clinical settings. I was thankful for a name to describe the pain I had been unable to voice for so long. And I was grateful that I was a lesbian and didn’t have to experience penetrative sex if I didn’t want to (what was a stone butch again, I thought). Only of course, it wasn’t so easy. As a lesbian who is incredibly proud of my identity and has had to struggle against those who still find my sexuality shameful (I have never lived outside of a conservative area), I tend to romanticize queer and particularly queer women relationships. I thought that my first real girlfriend, who I had only recently started dating, would understand. She was not particularly empathetic. Rather, she saw it as a challenge that we could overcome or she could fix. I told her not to penetrate me during sex, but she would sometimes attempt to force herself inside me. “I put two fingers inside you just now,” she said once. “You didn’t even notice.” She was trying to show me that my condition was all in my head and that if I worried less and simply let myself be penetrated, I might even enjoy it. Instead I felt betrayed, and I was ashamed of my problem as I had been as a scared 12-year-old, too confused and embarrassed to voice my pain. During the (way too many) years my girlfriend and I dated, I felt closed off during sex and disconnected from by body. I mentioned this to no one and when my doctor asked me about my feelings and fears around sex I would reassure her that everything was fine. I had been taught by almost everyone that this pain was merely in my head and I just needed to “buck up” to overcome it. Around the time that I finally got the courage to end my relationship, I started talking more about the pain that is so intertwined with my understandings of being a woman, of sex, and even of queerness. When I try to research vaginismus online or read other women’s stories, most of it is framed within the concept of heterosexual relationships and how women with this ailment can enjoy sex with their male partners. There is very little about queer women’s experiences and the particular kind of shame that exists when one’s female partner is engaging in harmful sexual behavior. I’m dating a woman now who is the kindest, gentlest person I have ever met. She cares for me in ways that I never expected and never thought I deserved. One day early in our relationship, I tried to casually mention my vaginismus to her by telling her how much I hate getting pap smears. She was driving and I was smiling as if it were just a quirky fact about me — no big deal. However, she didn’t absorb this information casually and was immediately concerned, asking me what I needed during sex and outside of it and how she could care for me and support me. I told her that the cause of my problem may be emotional (one of the ways I try to invalidate my own experience) and she told me that emotional causes are just as important as physical ones and that she would always take my pain and my fears seriously. I felt seen by her in a way that I had never experienced, and when we had sex, she asked permission before touching me in each new place, asking me if I was okay, if I felt good, if I was happy. I don’t know if my vaginismus will ever go away or if I will feel more comfortable with penetration now that I have such a loving partner (as some people claim). But I also think that’s not the point. Rather, I think all of us in this queer community and world must continue expanding the conversation about queerness, sex, and pain as to make such expressions not courageous but expected. Source

Get those nail clippers out NOW. 1. Use your intuition I know you're thinking,"OMFG, how will I know what to do?" And that's normal. If you've had male sexual partners that may help inform a fair bit of what you do, but it still might feel strange to be giving what you have previously received. The good news is that although tips and tricks are handy, sex is still largely intuitive whatever genders it's between. You might find you surprise yourself... 2. Communicate Your virgin voyage to the Sapphic Isles needn't come without a personalised map – or, you know, a super-hot Sat Nav with the voice of Marilyn Monroe, if you're lucky. You don't have to arrange a pre-coital business meeting with pointing sticks and blow-up dolls, but once you've brushed up on some girl-on-girl sex tips, simply talking dirty prior to the act is a great way to establish what you both do and don't want to try with each other. During the act? Never be afraid to say you've changed your mind about something – and always listen carefully to what she says too. Trusting your instincts, and each other, is a crucial part of enjoyable sex. 3. Masturbate for practice Girls have the same bits, yay – so what better way to practice? If you're a regular masturbator, great. If not, perhaps now is the time to learn more about it.Don't freak out if it doesn't work for you – solo sex isn't for everyone. Another good way to learn more about vulvas is by putting a mirror between your legs and having a good look. Women's vulvas vary in appearance (so don't be shocked if hers doesn't look much like yours at all) but delve a little deeper and you'll find the important bits are generally in a similar area. 4. Think about boobs I will never forget the first time I had a pair of boobs that weren't my own to play with. My mind went totally blank and I sort of flapped my hands excitedly at them. It wasn't my best sexual performance. Some women don't like having their breasts touched at all. If that's you or your partner, that's cool. But if breast play is on the agenda then, as a general guide, start gentle – some women's boobs are more sensitive than others. Cup them delicately, trace them lightly with your fingers, kiss them softly... Try not to grab. If all is going well, then try licking her nipples, using circular movements interspersed with sucking (not too hard). 5. Figure out the fingering Get those nail clippers out NOW. See those "lesbians" in porn films? I'm pretty sure 90% of their million-decibel screams and moans are because their co-star has snagged a crimson talon somewhere the sun don't shine. Clitoral stimulation is how most women achieve orgasm, but each woman is different: some women enjoy very fast friction directly to the clitoris, for instance, while others enjoy slow rubbing on the outer lips. Don't be put off if you have to go through a bit of trial and error with a new partner. Checked she's OK with penetration? Ready to go in? Start with one finger and build up – shoving four in at once, unless specifically asked to, can be considered bad form. You also need to make sure you keep an eye on what your other digits are doing – thumbs digging into thighs spoil the mood. Build speed up slowly. G-spot stimulation sends some women wild, others are indifferent, and still others actively dislike the sensation of having it touched. "OK," I hear you cry, "but where the hell is it?" If you put your own finger inside you and hook it up as if you were beckoning someone, you will feel a spongy bit. It's easier for some women than it is for others to find it, so persevere. Wiggle your finger(s) on it and see what happens... If you'd rather use a toy to stimulate her G-spot (and clitoris at the same time if you're feeling really generous), Ann Summers' Moregasm rabbit is such a good place to start. The super soft silicone moulds to the contours of your vagina and it feels incredible. 6. Giving oral This seems to be the bit that scares first-time lady-lovers the most. It's also the hardest aspect of girl-on-girl sex to give clear, one-size-fits-all advice on – sorry ladies! Again, starting slowly is a good plan. Gently part her outer labia and lick up from the entrance to the clitoris (this has the added benefit of giving you chance to find the clit if you are having trouble – some girls wear 'em buried deep!). Lick up and down the labia themselves. Focus on the clit and licking round it, using your wonderful friend Ms Circular Motion. Vary the pressure. Inserting a finger at the same time adds an extra frisson for some. Trial and error, trial and error. 7. Humping Check out point 10 to discover that there are myriad ways of doing this (hurrah!). For a simple starter, try it with one of you lying down and the other straddling her, placing one another's thigh in one another's crotch. You might feel a bit clumsy at first but you'll soon you should find you fit together and get into the rhythm of it. 8. Maybe get accessories involved Statistically, you are far less likely to catch anything from another woman than you are from a man. However, it is still possible. Lesbian sex can transfer bacterial vaginosis, herpes, HPV and, more rarely, trichomoniasis and hepatitis. For safer oral sex, little squares of latex called dental dams can be placed over your genitals. Handy hint: a slit open condom works just as well. For responsible fingering, grab yourself some latex gloves. You can get some awesome flavoured dental dams which taste great while keeping you protected, what's not to love? Pasante do a great selection of flavours including... chocolate. I know right?! Other kit? Well that's for discussion between the two of you. Personally I'd advise keeping this for later – things will be nerve racking enough as it is if you've never slept with a woman before! As ever, remember that some women don't like being penetrated – never assume anything. Use toys with condoms and/or wash them between uses to prevent spreading anything. 9. What about orgasms? As you are no doubt aware, women generally take longer than men to orgasm and some find it hard to manage at all. So don't despair if you've already come and she's still nowhere near the finishing line, or vice versa. I can never emphasise enough that an orgasm is not the be all and end all of a satisfying sexual experience – and of course the less you stress, the more likely it is you'll manage it in the future. 10. Next steps... Got the hang of all that and want to try something more adventurous? Source