Search the Community

I kissed a girl and I liked it, but I don't think she did She's my best friend, and she has a boyfriend. I'm her best friend and I have a girlfriend. Well technically I do... I still remember the first time I saw her. It was right after Law school and I was starting NYSC. We met at a friend's party and it was like we knew each other for longer than that. We talked about growing up, common friends, the sorry state of Nigeria and where we saw ourselves in 10 years. She was witty, a little self deprecating, but quite genuine. We laughed a lot that night. I had a car so i dropped her at home and from then on, we started hanging out often. I was very honest with her about my attraction for girls and she took it in stride. She made jokes about me crushing on her in the future, but that was all there ever was to it. But our friendship picked off and we became thick as thieves. We hung out often after work, at her house and at mine, with her siblings and with mine, with her boyfriend and with other friends. Everything was dandy. But just because the lesbian gods are never satisfied with a good thing, I found myself looking at her with lust one day. So it wasn't like I didn't know she was attractive, I did. I appreciated her good looks and paid her compliments anytime she dressed up. I'm also one of those people who would never put sex ahead of friendship so she had already been put firmly in the friend zone. I had seen her in different stages of undress on several occasions, slept on the same bed with her more times than I can count, and helped her put on and take off clothes plenty times. I had seen her body in all its glory many, many times. But this one time, while gisting and grooving at her brother's wedding reception, the light hit her face a certain way and I suddenly saw her in a different light. Pun intended. It was like I had been punched in the guts by a stranger and all of a sudden, I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to hold her, grab her right there on the dance floor, twirl her around and have her rock me right in front of everyone. I wanted to feel her back pressed against my breast, her bum rubbing against crotch and have my hands guide her movements. At this moment, I was on fire just looking at her with lust and desire. I blinked my eyes a couple of times, shook my head and tried to put it out of my head. Of course she was attractive and this was bound to happen I told myself. I chucked it down to general hornyness and tried to forget it ever happened. Sadly, I didn't succeed. In the next few weeks, I tried many times to get her out of my mind but I never really succeeded. She was the person I started imagining anytime I masturbated, and when I met some cute girl in Jos and kissed her, it was my friend I imagined I was kissing. Oh boy, casala don burst! So I decided there was nothing else to do but tell her. Great idea right? Wrong! I mentioned in passing that I had thought of her while kissing the girl in Jos and she laughed like she had never heard anything funnier. Yup, that was my friend. She laughed, teased me, giggled when I told her everything, and yabbed me for hours. She joked about how hot she was and how she knew that sooner or later, even I wouldn't be able to resist her charms. To be honest, it was a relief for me that she took it this way. We joked about how weird it was that the issue had never come up before for either of us. And then we swept it under the table. She went on with her life like nothing had changed, and I went on with my life hoping everything would change back to the way it was. I was smitten but I was hopeful that it would come to pass without drama. She would catch me staring at her sometimes and just shake her head or wink at me, other times she would laugh and shake her butt in my face if she was anywhere close to me. Every so often, she would compliment how good I looked but nothing over the top. It was a weird but comfortable place to be and I tried to make the best of it. I had started seeing some other girl, (long distance like a proper lesbian) and life was good. And then we played truth or dare. Truth or dare, I hate that game. Hate it! I'm not much of a drinker (by not much, I mean at all) so every single time, I have to spill my guts or do the dare. So unfair. And her boyfriend asked me to kiss her cos he had always been curious about how the 2 of us would handle our chemistry. What chemistry I wondered before she quickly sat on my laps and started kissing me. I could hear the rest of our friends cheering as she held unto my face and kissed me. I could feel my chest pounding as the air we were breathing became hot and heavy. Her lips were against mine, soft, wet and gorgeous, just as I imagined they would be. She grazed her tongue against mine, sucked on my lower lips, bit me playfully and ran her hands down my chest as I gasped for air. I didn't want to think about what was going on, I just gave myself up to feeling everything. I was just a passenger in this amazing activity. Before I could do or say anything more, her weight was off my laps and she was bowing down and curtsying to accept her claps and compliments. I tried to laugh it off and be unaffected but maybe the truth of it was written on my face. She winked at me from across the table where she was now seated by her boyfriend. I blanked through the rest of the night in disbelief until I I looked down later at my phone to see a bbm message from her. 'Stop overthinking it' she said. Followed later by 'It was just a kiss'. I looked down at my phone again and read the words she had written. 'It was just a kiss'. How could something so earth shattering, soul moving and p**sy wetting, be classified as just a kiss? Did she not feel my heart sync with hers the moment her lips touched mine? Did she not feel my world realign when she moved her hands down my chest? I kissed this girl and I liked it. But obviously she didn't feel the same. I applied for a school outside Nigeria a week later. I got admitted and left shortly after. But in the weeks before I left, we spoke less and less. We saw one another even less often. My life had been affected by that kiss and I was devastated she didn't feel a thing. It was just the way it was. Me and long distance girl broke up shortly after as I was no longer committed to her. But when my family and friends dropped me at the airport on my last day in 9ja. She was the last to leave. The last I hugged. I think there might have been a look of longing or regret on her face as I walked away. But maybe it is just wishful thinking. She mouthed 'don't be a stranger' to me as I went past immigration but I think we both knew, strangers was the best we could be from here on out. Truth or dare, I f***king hate that game!!!