Moderators moresko Posted February 27, 2014 Moderators Share Posted February 27, 2014 ............................................................................................................................................. This is my first attempt at posting anything I've ever written, so bear with me. If you're expecting a story about "vay jay jays", breast and such, you will not find it here. I prefer to write short stories so I don't lose focus. I want to thank Abystacy and FlyJ for their feedback. I have Chapter 2 on paper and will post it as soon as I type it. Constructive criticism is welcome. Enjoy... ............................................................................................................................................. Chapter 1 They are staring at us again, Kemi said. We are an "us", meaning a pseudo couple in the gay underworld of this godforsaken school, i personally didn't give a damn because they could only look and see, but couldn't prove anything; I'm not careless like Ese that got caught with a junior's breast in her mouth. The junior cried foul, said Ese forced her, then Ese got expelled. We are walking on the sandy grounds of LASMOCK after classes, one of the few times in a day we ever get to spend alone, away from the leering eyes of haters, and the curious eyes of everyone else. Kemi and I have what most people would call puppy love, we had always cared about each other more friends should but the most "inappropriate" thing we had done was when she took a chewing gum from my mouth by kissing me, tongue and all. Life in LASMOCK sucks, and it sucks more when you're in JSS3. You feel like you're stuck between two worlds, on the edge of becoming a real "senior" girl but stuck with the badge of Junior because of a gown. Your juniors don't respect you and the seniors trust you like shit (even the freaking SS1 students). I can't wait to wear the skirt, I'm going to be tyrant, I want my name to send fear down the spine of every junior. You can hate all you want but I'm just giving back to Kankon what Kankon gave me. Chapter 2 Senior Kemi, Senior "B" is calling you, a junior says as she interrupts our study time. Tell her I'm coming Kemi says, as I watch her from the corner of my eye. I want to say something but I can't because we've promised ourserlves that "B" would not become an issue between us. She tells me that they just talk but I'm not stupid, "B" wants her, I've seen the way she looks at her like a cat stalking its prey, and seriously what conversation does an SS2 student need to have with a JSS3 student everyday? "B" is short for Bimbo Taiwo but i would prefer to call her something that starts with a "b" and rhymes with "witch", she's a shark that preys on juniors, and only a few juniors in School House have been able to escape her jaws, I am one of them. There's a reason for that though, you see I am related to The Akinolas, and every student including "B" knows that no one messes with the Akinolas and their clan, or you would spend the night writing our names with your ass, in the urine drenched courtyard with mosquitoes as best friends for the night. Now "B" has her sights set on Kemi, everyone knows what is happening or going to happen, and there is nothing I can do to intervene. I could tell my cousins to stop it, but I would have to tell them why Kemi is so important to me; they have already made it known that they do not appreciate the rumours about Kemi and I, so going to them is practically useless. Kemi is back an hour later, and tells me that they just talked. I know she trying to spare my feelings but that doesn't stop the pain, I still hurt. Chapter *** “Oh Lord, I look like a sack”, I said as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. “It’s not that bad”, Kemi said as she giggled behind me. We are testing our “house wears” for the new year that begins in 2 weeks. Ha, SS1 is here, and Miss Omololu is already killing it for me. Her instructions concerning the “house wear” is “I must be able to grab a handful on each side”, apparently the House Mistresses have decided to save the male population of Kankon from seductive shapes. I enjoyed the summer break, but really enjoyed after the JSCE results came in, I did pretty well; only one “C” in Yoruba which shocked me because I was expecting a “F++++”. We spent time together, just us; no Senior “B” or Olofofos hanging around. We are close friends so my parents didn’t have a problem with me spending a weekend at her house and vice versa, after all she wasn’t a boy so she was considered “safe”. I wasn’t all bed and roses this summer, “drama” still came to our door, or you could say I went looking for it. Tolulope Shitta is the name of the drama, I walked into, and kept walking into. She is a neighbor, and a friend. I think the only reason we hung out is because we are the only females in the same age category that lived on our street, the fact that both of us attend a boarding house also connected us. She attends a F.G.G.C school and makes me grateful that I attend a mixed school. Watching her metamorphosis anytime we meet a guy is something to behold, it’s like watching a cat in heat. She and Kemi don’t get along at all, Kemi feels Tolu is too “touchy feely”, I like “touchy feely” so it doesn’t bother me. Maybe I should have listened to her before the “incident” occurred two week ago. We were just hanging out in my room, talking about school, when she asked “, What’s your relationship with Kemi?” “She’s my best friend”, I replied “Just best friends?” She said as she moved closer to me “Yes,” I replied “I’m asking because I’ve been wanting to do these”, she said as leaned forward and kissed me. Her lips felt magnificent, they part, mine part (I don’t know why), and her tongue comes between them and touches mine. I taste her, and taste the peppermint we had shared just some minutes ago. I shudder as she deepens the kiss, she draws back then reality sets in. “No”, I said as I pull away; “I’m not like that” I continue to say. She smiles and says “Keep lying to yourself”, as she turns and walks out of my room. I think of Kemi, as guilt comes over me. Why is everything so damn complicated? That was two weeks ago, everything was okay now. Staying away from Tolu was easier said than done, the girl was persistent, nothing happened after the “incident” but she made it known that she wanted more, and thought I wanted the same thing. I told Kemi a half truth just to appease my guilt a couple of days ago, and she had flipped out. I didn’t tell her that I kissed Tolu back, I just said Tolu kissed me, and I had pulled away. I intentionally waited to tell her after Tolu had resumed school, to avoid a confrontation or Tolu telling her that I kissed her back. Why did I kiss Tolu back? I think it’s because I was in shock, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I don’t want to explore my feelings concerning the “incident”, I feel like I dodged a bullet, I thought being home meant less drama but I guess it’s everywhere. Shockingly, I’m looking forward to resuming Kankon, time to get some normalcy in my life. Chapter 4 “Hey Tosin, long time no see” Could this day get any worse? I thought as I watched “B” walk up to me. Of course, I had seen her yesterday but I knew she was making a joke at my expense. Being a “senior” hasn’t turned out to be the cakewalk that I thought it would be; more responsibilities, more teachers, and some “out of control” drama was turning my first year as a senior into a disaster. Most of the “out of control” drama could be attributed to “B” , she has decided that she needs a new notch on her bedpost or bulk bed, and that notch is me. Aren’t SS3 students supposed to be knee deep in books? Taking extra class and so on for WAEC? “So, how are you doing?” She asked “I’m fine” I replied “How’s your girlfriend?” She asked “I don’t know what you’re talking about”, I replied; making sure that my displeasure showed “Where’s Kemi?” She asked “Why do you care? Don’t you have some other junior to “talk” to?” I replied I knew I was treading a thin line, but “B” had been working my nerves for weeks. Apparently, she suddenly wants a taste of what she never had even when it is quite obvious to everyone (including her), that I dislike her intensely; but I guess that makes the challenge of “breaking” me (her words, not mine)more attractive. Maybe I should try to be nice to her, smile when I see her. Ha, hell would have to freeze over for that to happen. “So when are you and I going to “talk” or are you scared”? She asked I laughed. I knew what she meant, and what she was trying to do, but I didn’t have time for her games, it has become the same nonsense over and over again with her. “Would you like me to wear a junior’s gown to help with the “talk” because everyone knows skirts are not your thing?” I replied mockingly And continued “Seriously, I didn’t “talk” to you in JSS1, JSS2, or JSS3, what makes you think I want to “talk” to you now? I answered “We’ll see”, she said as she laughed and walked away. Thank God I just had to deal with her for 4 more months, if the situation got too much, I knew how to end it, I wouldn’t be proud of it but it would have to been done. “Hey Tosin”, I turned around to see Seun coming towards me. I had come to the classroom area seeking some “me” time, but it was quickly turning into “everybody’s” time. Seun is the “olofofo madam” of Kankon, lastest gossip, news, and rumors could be found with her, and she is a friend so I couldn’t bash her too much. “Hey, how are you? Any gist for me” I replied as I walked up to her and hugged her “Did you hear that they caught Senior Aramide with 7 guys behind the dining hall?” “7 guys ke, isn’t that a bit much by Aramide’s standards? “ I replied “Abeg na she know, maybe she’s trying to do as many guys as possible before she graduates” she replied I laughed, this is why I love Seun; she always makes me laugh even when my day has been shiity. “I heard you and “B” knocked boots, that’s why you and Kemi fought today” she said “What! Knocked boots? I didn’t knock boots with anyone, not to talk of “B”, and we fought over something stupid not “B”” I replied “Mmmmm, I’m just telling you what I heard, don’t shot the messenger o” she replied I laughed, “Its just that this “B” issues is getting too much, but I will take care of it, don’t worry” “Cool”, she replied and we walked together towards the SS1 classroom discussing the dirty laundry of Kankon. …………………………………………………………………………………............................ “Shhh”, she whispered as she climbed into bed with me, and moved over me, she was shirtless. I knew what she wanted but I needed to apologize for that afternoon. “I’m sor…..” I started to say but she shushed me again “Take off your shirt.” She replied “What! Why?” I said smiling and taking off my shirt “You know why, and I want to apologize for being an idiot this afternoon” she said as licked and sucked behind my left ear, then moved to my lips How am I supposed to “shhh”, when I’m so turned on? She and I loved breast play, I love her moans of approval as my hands squeezed and knead her breast, and begin to roll her nipples between my fingers, I want her nipples in my mouth so much as she continues to kiss me and nibble on my neck. This is our play time, nothing on the outside is as important as us at this moment; I want her, I really do as let her lips lead into a world of thrill and bliss…… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abystacy Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Alma Mater! Wonderfully written! You know my critics Already.Çhapter Two is urgently needed.. Well done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guchi Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 jus lyk my alma mata, nice 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spicy Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Lol something similar with ese happened to me in js2 , thank God I wasn't expelled. We met yrs later <the girl nd i> in a diff country, became friends but Neva talked about it. I don't knw if she forgot or just avoiding it. But whenever I saw her I always rem that incident. Lol Abu babes..... I hail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 I neva read 'em breasts n bums stories..or cldnt get past d 1st 5 lines of them. This. Different. Glad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
softstud Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 looking forward to the rest.. intelligent piece.. Kudos Moresko :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators FlyJ Posted February 27, 2014 Administrators Share Posted February 27, 2014 You write amazingly well with delightfully epigrammatic descriptive powers. I enjoyed reading this piece ; Well done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suavity Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Nice one.waiting for the part 2 also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
softstud Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 You write amazingly well with delightfully epigrammatic descriptive powers. I enjoyed reading this piece ; Well done! Epic description :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators moresko Posted February 28, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted February 28, 2014 Thanks for all the feedback. I really appreciate it. Any questions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chishlom Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 its good. the first paragraph could have done with a little more and kept suspense the part the persona said "we are an us ".. ( that was a good part a good kick off.. as a first Time reader,im eager to know what the persona meant by "us".) then you explain what the "us " meant.( that spoilt the suspense, you should have let the readers figure out that the persona meant 'gay', ) cos the lines about having caught ese with a juniors breast in her mouth would have done a little justice to the readers eagerness if you had kept the suspense. you used the word curious instead of curiosity in lines 6 of paragraph 2 the tone of the last paragraph sounds like brutality mixed with ghetto life. all in all, I love the second paragraph mostly, the description of the kind of relationship was said but not said,it gave the feeling of something soft and delicate. nice work. keep writting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators moresko Posted March 2, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted March 2, 2014 its good. the first paragraph could have done with a little more and kept suspense the part the persona said "we are an us ".. ( that was a good part a good kick off.. as a first Time reader,im eager to know what the persona meant by "us".) then you explain what the "us " meant.( that spoilt the suspense, you should have let the readers figure out that the persona meant 'gay', ) cos the lines about having caught ese with a juniors breast in her mouth would have done a little justice to the readers eagerness if you had kept the suspense. you used the word curious instead of curiosity in lines 6 of paragraph 2 the tone of the last paragraph sounds like brutality mixed with ghetto life. all in all, I love the second paragraph mostly, the description of the kind of relationship was said but not said,it gave the feeling of something soft and delicate. nice work. keep writting Welcome back, Let me explain the character. The character is based on me, a few of my friends and our experiences through boarding house, life, break ups, chaos with some fiction added. Actually I meant to write "curious eyes". LASMOCK is a mixed school, the word "gay" was never said but people knew or assumed. LASMOCK for me was a brutal, dog eat dog world (ask anyone that attended a "real" boarding house). The "senior" skirt brought respectability, a little bit of breathing room from the constant chaos of life as a "junior", were you almost had to fight for everything to feel a little bit comfortable, and that didn't really happen until you were in SS2. I am not looking to keep the reader in suspense; what isn't written alright, is implied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomusa Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 - getting myself in a comfortable position before part two pops up.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators moresko Posted March 3, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted March 3, 2014 Chapter 2 posted, its right under Chapter 1. I didn't want to start a new topic, or just post it anywhere in the topic. Thanks for the feedback everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chishlom Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 yup, I could tell you wrote from experience, but wasnt really sure though. anyway, it was my literary opinion. the story is a good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abystacy Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 very interesting chapter 2.. and precisely to the point... .... keep writing .. am your number 1 fan:D/> ... the phrase tha caught my attention tho ** "B" is short for Bimbo Taiwo but i would prefer to call her something that starts with a "b" and rhymes with "witch",B)/> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suavity Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Pls dont stop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Chapter 2 is d only reason I want to read some more. To knw if kemi's rltnshp wit d writer lingered or fizzled out. And hw d writer wld describe 'hurt'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
softstud Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Chapter 2 is d only reason I want to read some more. To knw if kemi's rltnshp wit d writer lingered or fizzled out. And hw d writer wld describe 'hurt'. I love d way u articulate ur thots :wub:/> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators moresko Posted March 5, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted March 5, 2014 Chapter 2 is d only reason I want to read some more. To knw if kemi's rltnshp wit d writer lingered or fizzled out. And hw d writer wld describe 'hurt'. Hurt, as in emotionally hurt; there is no anger attached it. Just a sense of helplessness and heartbreak because there is nothing you can do about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators moresko Posted March 7, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted March 7, 2014 Chapter *** posted, its right under Chapter 2. Thanks for the feedback everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suavity Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Cant wait to read it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 I will nt read chapter 4 until d book comes out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators moresko Posted March 8, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted March 8, 2014 I will nt read chapter 4 until d book comes out. Book ke? Who said anything about a book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Book ke? Who said anything about a book. Lol it was a compliment..and intentional. Apparently u cldnt read in btw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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