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just for laughs


M2DD

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Late in 1994, an 87 year old man passed on ina village close to Amai, Kwale, Delta State . The late man's grand son, Ufiaka (26 years old and fairly educated), was given some money and asked to travel to Agbor to buy a fine casket for his grand pa's burial. Ufiaka left base early and arrived Agbor in good time to purchase the casket and make the return journey same day.. He was fortunate to get an open back white coloured Peugeot 404pickup heading for Amai. He, however, had to ride in the back of the pickup with the casket because two market women travelling to Amai were already seated in front with the driver. On the home journey, they ran into a heavy rain storm close to Uronigbe and Ufiaka quickly opened the casket, lay himself nicely in the well padded interior, covered the lid and used the folded newspaper he had with him to leave a small opening between the lid and the main body of the white casket to ensure adequate ventilation. The interior of the casket was very comfortable and Ufiaka soon fell into a very deep sleep. The rain had subsided at the time the pickup van arrived at Umutu and during a brief stop there, three women travelling to Amai boarded the vehicle at the back and the same happened at Ubiaruku where a man and a woman travelling also to Amai entered the vehicle. All this while, Ufiaka was enjoying his beauty sleep inside the Casket completely unaware of the new passengers who boarded at Umutu and Ubiaruku. The pickup van arrived Amai just after 5p.m. and the driver, who was now very hungry, stopped in front of a busy buka to have a quick bite before proceeding onto the next village. The sudden stoppage and revving of the pick-ups engine woke Ufiaka who then opened the lid of the casket and rose up. Trouble come start! The passenger sin the back of the pickup jumped out of the vehicle from various points and took to their heels in various directions. The people eating in the buka (including the mama-put and her service girls) who saw the white casket open,and a "ghost" step out, ran off all over the place some with balls of eba and akpu in their hands. Ufiaka, seeing people running 'helter-skelter' was convinced that armed robbers were operating and decided to take-off in the direction three of the passengers, including the woman, were running. When the three passengers realised that Ufiaka was running towards them, they increased their speed and shouted "ghost! ghost!" and, to further worsen the situation, Ufiaka was dressed in white up and down with white shoes to match that day. With the shouting of 'ghost',other people in their homes came out to see what was going on and on seeing people running at high speed all over, they joined in the race for their dear life and the number just swelled. The driver and the two market women were the only people who knew what was going on and they had a hell of time calming the people down and explaining that … he merely needed shelter, while it was raining ... Are you still there?Ok, Practice Laughing Session throughout the remaining days of the year ’2014.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 3 years later...

So, I was in this bus and passengers were coming in, it was a mass transit. Suddenly the driver starts shouting to the conductor to note the people coming in, he said and I quote "Conductor, dey look their face o, na so some people go enter bus like fowl wey wan lay egg. Dey go just sitdown like say dey don pay money."

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OK in my very sincere mode lol.

D joke is so dry it makes u want laugh

 

I guess it is just not ur calling ;)

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OK in my very sincere mode lol.

D joke is so dry it makes u want laugh

 

I guess it is just not ur calling ;)/>

 

Damnit! But at least I tried :rolleyes:

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  • 4 months later...
On 28/03/2014 at 7:43 AM, minini said:

Late in 1994, an 87 year old man passed on ina village close to Amai, Kwale, Delta State . The late man's grand son, Ufiaka (26 years old and fairly educated), was given some money and asked to travel to Agbor to buy a fine casket for his grand pa's burial. Ufiaka left base early and arrived Agbor in good time to purchase the casket and make the return journey same day.. He was fortunate to get an open back white coloured Peugeot 404pickup heading for Amai. He, however, had to ride in the back of the pickup with the casket because two market women travelling to Amai were already seated in front with the driver. On the home journey, they ran into a heavy rain storm close to Uronigbe and Ufiaka quickly opened the casket, lay himself nicely in the well padded interior, covered the lid and used the folded newspaper he had with him to leave a small opening between the lid and the main body of the white casket to ensure adequate ventilation. The interior of the casket was very comfortable and Ufiaka soon fell into a very deep sleep. The rain had subsided at the time the pickup van arrived at Umutu and during a brief stop there, three women travelling to Amai boarded the vehicle at the back and the same happened at Ubiaruku where a man and a woman travelling also to Amai entered the vehicle. All this while, Ufiaka was enjoying his beauty sleep inside the Casket completely unaware of the new passengers who boarded at Umutu and Ubiaruku. The pickup van arrived Amai just after 5p.m. and the driver, who was now very hungry, stopped in front of a busy buka to have a quick bite before proceeding onto the next village. The sudden stoppage and revving of the pick-ups engine woke Ufiaka who then opened the lid of the casket and rose up. Trouble come start! The passenger sin the back of the pickup jumped out of the vehicle from various points and took to their heels in various directions. The people eating in the buka (including the mama-put and her service girls) who saw the white casket open,and a "ghost" step out, ran off all over the place some with balls of eba and akpu in their hands. Ufiaka, seeing people running 'helter-skelter' was convinced that armed robbers were operating and decided to take-off in the direction three of the passengers, including the woman, were running. When the three passengers realised that Ufiaka was running towards them, they increased their speed and shouted "ghost! ghost!" and, to further worsen the situation, Ufiaka was dressed in white up and down with white shoes to match that day. With the shouting of 'ghost',other people in their homes came out to see what was going on and on seeing people running at high speed all over, they joined in the race for their dear life and the number just swelled. The driver and the two market women were the only people who knew what was going on and they had a hell of time calming the people down and explaining that … he merely needed shelter, while it was raining ... Are you still there?Ok, Practice Laughing Session throughout the remaining days of the year ’2014.

😅😅😅... My chest. Damn

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  • 1 year later...

A Pastor rears chicken in Church
premises, one evening a Cock
went missing.
In Church the next day, Pastor
asked - "who has a cock?" All the
men stood up.
HE said - "No, I mean who has
seen a cock?" All the women got
up,
Pastor - "No,no,I meant who has
seen a cock that isn't theirs?" Half
of the women got up,
He said "Oh for goodness sake i
mean!! Who has seen my cock?"
All the Choir girls got up.
The Church scattered!
As i am talking to you now, the church is on fire (wahala......)

 

 

#copied

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  • Moderators
30 minutes ago, RayBlac said:

A Pastor rears chicken in Church
premises, one evening a Cock
went missing.
In Church the next day, Pastor
asked - "who has a cock?" All the
men stood up.
HE said - "No, I mean who has
seen a cock?" All the women got
up,
Pastor - "No,no,I meant who has
seen a cock that isn't theirs?" Half
of the women got up,
He said "Oh for goodness sake i
mean!! Who has seen my cock?"
All the Choir girls got up.
The Church scattered!
As i am talking to you now, the church is on fire (wahala......)

 

 

#copied

Hahahahahahaha! Jokes

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  • 1 year later...

 

TGIW!

Very funny quotes to make you laugh out loud.


“This election was a fraud!"
“A total fraud. It was a fraudulent election. This was a massive fraud. 😂This fraud has taken place. You have a fraudulent system. Fraudulent voting and fraudulent votes. There’s tremendous fraud here. There’s fraud all over the place. Massive fraud has been found."😀

“We’re like a Third World country.“😀We will find tens of thousands of fraudulent and illegal votes. You’re gonna find fraud of hundreds of thousands of votes per state."
"They used covid in order to defraud the people of this country."
“Biden can only enter the White House as president if he can prove that his ridiculous “80,000,000 votes” were not fraudulently or illegally obtained. I just don’t see Americans rolling over for this election fraud."😀
“RIGGED ELECTION! This Election was RIGGED. This, it was a rigged election. Very sad to say it, this election was rigged. This was a 100% RIGGED ELECTION They know it was a rigged election. At the highest level it was a rigged election. This election was a rigged election."
“This was an election that we won easily. 🙆😂We won it by a lot.Our big lawsuit, which spells out in great detail all of the ballot fraud and more, will soon be filed."
“I won Pennsylvania by a lot. In Georgia, I won by a lot. I won that by hundreds of thousands of votes. There’s no way Trump didn’t win Pennsylvania because the energy industry was all for him. No, we won by a lot. We were robbed. We got many votes more than Ronald Reagan."😂
“This election was lost by the Democrats. They cheated. 😂They flooded everybody with ballots. They’re horrible people, and they’re people that don’t love our country."
“Horrible things went on. Many other things were happening that were horrible. Just horrible. This is horrible what’s taking place. All of the horrible things that happened to poll watchers. If you were a Republican poll watcher you were treated like a dog."🤗
“Dead people were requesting ballots. Not only were they coming in and putting in a ballot, but dead people were requesting ballots, and they were dead for years. Dead people voting all over the place."😂
“It’s a corrupt system. The most corrupt election in American political history. Corrupt election! This is corrupt. We’ll not allow the corruption to steal such an important election. Working hard to clean up the stench of the 2020 Election Hoax! The 2020 Election was a total scam."😂😂
“We have judges that are afraid to make a decision."
“Nevada is turning out to be a cesspool. Detroit and Philadelphia known as two of the most corrupt political places anywhere. Why isn’t the @GaSecofState Brad Raffensperger, a so-called Republican, allowing us to look at signatures on envelopes?"😀😀
“Those machines are fixed, they’re rigged. People say the votes are counted in foreign countries and much worse than that. VOTES SWITCHED FROM PRESIDENT TRUMP TO BIDEN."😂
“Fake ballots. Fake votes. Fake recounts. Fake results. Fake pollsters. Fake polls. FAKE NEWS."
“I concede NOTHING
!"xx🙄😂

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