Jump to content
Volunteer with Us at Naijalez: Empowering Nigerian Lesbian Community ×
Nigerian Lesbian Forum

JOKE!! JOKE!! JOKE


evelyn

Recommended Posts

LOVE LETTER BY ONITCHA BIG BOY**

Hello pretty damusel,

I just wanted to let u know dat I hav joined the muvin people.

Ndi na aga aga, (the happuning guys)

I am Aguiyi international! Importa & Exporta. I ownu plenty of shop in Onitsha main market. As u are luking at me, nne a dim very solid.

My containers come in 20s and 40s every weekly. I hav over 40 boys in my training.

Aguiyi is a bigi boy, I am a muver, I am a shaker. I yamu a man of timber & plywood. I yamu rich and by d special grace of God, I am the owner of di biggest & powerfulu boutique u can think of. I employ one lady to managin it.

I can call her wit my etisalat phone; give her query with my mtn; fire her with my glo; and hire another manger with my airtel. I wulu make you di CEO, president, and first lady of di conglomerate.

All di streets in china are right here in my head and all di Nigerian boys dat load market in there are under me.

As I yamu speaking to u now, they are making plan to crown me eze ndi igbo nile of china and by the special grace of God, you will be lolo ndi igbo nile of china.

Nne you look like egg yolk and for dat, I will kill any ochicha for u.

Nne, ego na esi isi na arum. I send money on errands

A dim ok! Is it my fault dat I yamu a bigi boy? Is it my fault dat at my age, I have many boys under me? Is it my fault dat I have plans of making u d president of d biggest boutique in Onitsha?

I wulu repackage u nne m and present u to d world, pretty damusel. Nne m o! Oyoyo m, Egovin nwa! My yori yori! My african Queen, ashanti m! Nwa akworo aka muo! Igbu go m. Infact baby, take me.

 

Your loving faithfully,

Aguyi

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 years later...

Tracking debtors in this recession is the most difficult task to achieve.

 

I called one debtor up, not answering. I then sent an SMS, no word. I decided to chat her up.

 

Og: Hi, hope this meets you well, a reminder on the outstanding payment from your last order, its the last week, in already, hope u ve not forgotten our payment agreement?

 

She replied immediately

 

Debtor: You remember those primary school days of superlatives and comparatives?

 

(I was still confused at where this was going so I dragged reluctant "noo?"

 

Debtor: A teacher taught her pupils comparatives and superlatives and the next week, some edu. inspectors came to visit her class to see the pupils performances

 

Teacher: Class can you show our guests what we've learnt so far?

Class: Yes teacher!

 

Teacher: Big

Class: Big. Bigger, Biggest

 

 

Teacher: Small

Class: Small, Smaller, Smallest

 

(Teacher was so impressed, so she went)

 

"Fast!"

Class: Fast, Faster, Fastest

 

Teacher: Good!

Class: Good, Gooder, Goodest

 

Teacher: No!

Class: No, Noer, Noest

 

(Teacher already abashed)

 

Teacher: Stop!

Class: Stop, Stopper, Stoppest

 

Teacher: Chim o!

Class: Chim o, Chim oer, Chimo est

 

Teacher fainted.

 

Debtor: take that for your money.

 

No, I didn't laugh

  • Confused 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...