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She Says She Loves Me, but She Dates Other People.


FlyJ

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I got this from a friend and decided to share. The names used are not their real names.

 

Dear Ladies :

 

My name is Tola and need help with my relationship. My girlfriend Rukky and I have been together for a year and two months now...everything was great when we started dating and gradually her behavior totally changed. We became very close, so close that I can’t imagine my life without her. The problem is that she always says she love me, but then dates other people. She goes online to lesbian sites to search for girls. I have talked to her several times to stop what she’s doing but she won’t stop. She sometimes tells her friends and lovers that I am her sister and even sometimes am her friend. I want to break up with her even though I love her. I don’t think she will ever change and I can’t take that anymore.

 

Please help.

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These 'episodes' already are revelatory.. assuming the story is true. I don't know how people get to maintain relationships that are being undermined by cheating, lies and deceit.

If u have to ask someone if they love u, it means they don't.

 

In my opinion, the depth of Tola's relationship had already been revealed the moment her gf began visiting online dating sites. I'm talking about sites where 'dating' is the basic course.

 

That said, if someone breaks up with u pls believe them. If they don't break up with u, believe them still..(that is, know that d end is inevitable once u see their commitment has REAL limits).

 

Tola is in an abusive relationship with someone who's most likely Narcissistic.

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I strongly believe that people in a committed and exclusive relationships should never maintain any type of relationship with someone that is sexually interested in them because to me that what your Rukky is all about. It does not matter how much she professes her love for Tola or how much Tola loves her! If she can undermine her love to her friends and lovers, if she can lie about her being her sister or friend , if she can go to other sites in search of girls, what other miracle or signs and wonders does she need to see that it is boldly written "DOOMED". She is not even a friend and not worthy of Tola's love. She has motives which clearly states that they are both on a different lane, different team. It's more like toxic situation that will always become a point of conflict.

 

My opinion? Tola should Move on... Rukky has a ton of maturing and learning to do. She need to find that one person who is 100% in the same lane with her. Who makes you happy without even trying. why choose to be with a serial dater who sits under the umbralla of Love and commits all sort all in the name of love. how naive could one be. It's high time she woke up from that spell wonderland and take charge of her life and happiness! Love to me, is the most happiest and most selfless feeling ever. And clearly Rukky can't even hold a candle to either. so what else is Tola holding on to? Remember that Happiness is a state of inner fulfillment, not the gratification of inexhaustible desires for outward things. That's all you need . Move on and say no to emotional slavery and bondage. Trust me after a few months she will bounced back and even throw a party to that regard.

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The fact you love someone does not mean you have to "be" with them. Its okay to love them, but you should love your sanity more.

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Tola is being played for a fool, Rukky wants other relationships and to keep Tola too. Tell your friend she needs to grow up and realize when someone is lying. You dont say I love you and you are dating around or looking for potential relationships. This is some high school drama, like a bad episode of Saved by the Bell only with lesbians.

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U shouldn't even ask.. its obviously obvious.. u (Tola) are not enough for her. No doubt, she's got feelings for u, otherwise it wouldn't cost ha anything to knock u off, but she just wants more. U probably dont Sate ha well, either sexually, financially, morally, intellectually name it. Hence, ha need for greener pastures. Its then left for u to decide whether to stick around as one to be used as a fall back/second fiddle, or stand ur ground to be taken as d first and only choice.. no one can mk dat decision for you.

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  • 2 weeks later...

@Tola..

 

This is another year..leave that lying Biatch and move on..

@Flyj (The poster)..ask Tola if she wants to continue as a learner this 2015. Lol

 

Advice# Pray for the courage to say no to Rukky and stand by your word. It's painful..But my dear move on ooo..Life is too short to be going back n forth..#sister indeed#

 

wish you the best.

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