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AM SORRY


Fummy

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Am sorry

That is what I want to say

Am sorry

Am sorry I looked at you

Am sorry I liked what I saw

Am sorry I ever liked you

Am sorry for everything

Am sorry I stayed longer than I should have Enduring it all in the name of love

Love for you came in the form of hurtful words n mistaken slaps

Yes mistakes, that was what you called them and it was a continuous process.

Am sorry I thought of forever and it scared you away

Yes Am sorry

Very sorry

Am sorry I ended up loving you

Yes I remember this wasn't our agreement

Am sorry I made you love me

Am sorry I made you insecure

Am sorry I made you hit me

You see

I accept, I agree

Ofcourse, it is always my fault

If I didn't kiss you longer than I was supposed to

If I didn't love you with everything I had

Maybe, just maybe It wouldn't have happened

Am sorry you broke up with me

Am sorry I came back

You see, I had no where to go

You were a place I could always go to

You loved me though wrongly,

You still loved me and my soul depended on it

Am sorry you slapped me

I should have kept quiet, I shouldn't have argued with you.

But I forgot

Yes I did

I forgot you were always right

And you had to teach me a lesson.

And what other way could I have learnt? Than ending up in the hospital with bruises all over my body.

Its a pity though, people kept asking which part of my body hurts, they kept touching the parts that could heal

but No one not even you talked about my bruised heart and soul.

That which couldn't heal

You came that day to say what we both knew

It is your fault, I never could have done this to you. It is your fault we are both suffering.. That was what you said to me that day amidst tears..

Yes I didn't forget

I could not forget

I should have told you that day

But you also didn't notice, maybe you should have because something died in me that day and its death brought about the birth of another emotion, that which isn't love.

Emotional abuse that's what they called it but this was more than emotional, physical abuse, constantly living in fear of someone that's supposed to love, care for and support you that was like living in hell..

You were my hell but then afterwards albeit a short while you would show me the taste of heaven but even that was unreal.

So I reached out

Because I knew I couldn't have done it on my own

You were like a small god, a very reactive substance, quick to anger and slow to forgive.

Am sorry I reached out

Am sorry I found help in the arms of a beautiful woman.

Am sorry I walked away

Am sorry but I tried, I really did try but she offered love to my bleeding heart which she stitched up.

To my lifeless soul, she offered life.

And I took it, with both hands and held onto it.

Am sorry

With you I will always be sorry

With her it was different

She taught me I didn't have to apologise for everything, especially when it wasn't my fault...

Am no longer with her but am a better person now.

I don't live in fear anymore

I know that I have to love myself and I know that my happiness doesn't depend on anybody.

I saw your message on whatsapp

You said you love me?

Lol, how funny

You held that from me when that was all I needed to feel alive.

Now I have a voice

A voice that wants to be heard

A voice that can be heard

Now people ask for my opinion and I give it confidently without fear or the need to always apologise..

In your message, you said you want me as I am now? =D

Your breed can never afford the lady I have grown to become.

The lady that can and will never stoop so low to make the same mistake her childish self made..

I wish you the best and once again,

AM SORRY

 

Note: Found this in my 'writing book' and decided to share.. Lol it didn't necessarily happen to me, I just want to speak out against any form of abuse or violence in relationships and what better way would I have achieved that than living 'it' in my mind...

Please stop any form of violence, love should bring life, peace and joy to your heart not war or fear..

If you are in a relationship where your significant other constantly hits you then maybe its time to think about it again, is this what you want? Is this what you feel you deserve?

Nope, NO I do not believe we can only fall in love once, I do not believe there's only one person capable of truly being in love with us in our lifetime.

At the end of the day, its your life and yours alone. Please live it well.

Thanks for reading :)

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Lovely piece....my heart reaches out to women going thru such. Such acts should be deterred. @Fummy u rock with this

Hehehehe thanks benumbed. I feel bad for anyone going through domestic abuse, most times it ends up in death.. Its very sad really, don't hold on to someone that can't control his or her temper/words/hands from hitting or inflicting pain on you... Nobody is worth dying for and those that are actually worth dying for wouldn't cause your death.... You aren't Jesus except you are donating your organs, your death won't save lives....

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Wow!.. i love this!...well, Am sorry for reading it twice...please forgive me...Am really sorry!

 

Lol yes, I read it again too and again. I could only read the first few lines as I was ironing the first time I saw it. But I knew I loved it already. There’s something about the way it was written. I love the tone, mood and VERY subtle sarcasm. The first two lines killed it for me... “Am sorry. That is what I want to say...”. My other favourite lines are:

 

“Am sorry I made you hit me. You see. I accept, I agree

“I should have kept quiet, I shouldn’t have argued with you. But I forgot. Yes I did”.

Am sorry. With you I will always be sorry”.

 

I really love this poem. Even at its length, the writer didn’t stray in creativity one bit. And the lines are not ambiguous, not boring. They are like a story and not some make-believe words striving for rhymes. You know those kinds we write.

 

This is the kind of poem that should be in the dailies.

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i'm sorry i thought u were talkn bou urself

i'm sorry i almost started to reach for my cell

to call and console your broken heart

thereafter go and kick his battered ass

 

lol

 

thumbs up babes, it is thought provoking, speaking to d conscience. some one go tell my ex to come read dis

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Very nicely done. Going thru a break up now but its refreshing when you can stamp out bullshyters fast isnt it?

Yeah its very refreshing when you kick them out fast... Am sorry about your breakup dear but its her loss not yours *hugs*

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Wow!.. i love this!...well, Am sorry for reading it twice...please forgive me...Am really sorry!

:lol: hehehe thanks Shalo, so who do I apologise to as well...LOL please read again n again n whenever you want to, thanks for reading :D

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