Administrators FlyJ Posted May 22, 2015 Administrators Share Posted May 22, 2015 Dating is a minefield, with many a malfunction just waiting to happen. Everyone has their Deal Breakers: smokers, kids, age gaps, number of cats. There’s so much that can niggle away in an otherwise perfect match. But wait! There’s more! As if dating wasn’t hard enough already, life decided to throw in some extra issues for us lady-loving-ladies. Thanks, life. 1.The Ex Connection All lesbians are aware of the perils of dating someone your ex has had their hands on, and it just isn’t worth it. Performing a background check to make sure you don’t have any exes in common with your date is a uniquely gay Deal Breaker, but a necessary evil. Sitting down over your first glass of Chardonnay and listing your recent partners in the order of how much you care(d) about them is seat-squirmingly awkward, butit’s undeniable – Having an ex in common is riddled with issues. Definite Deal Breaker. 2.The Scene Queen Knowing the bouncer, the bartender, and the bulk of the crowd in the gay club is great when you’re single, but if you’re serious about finding someone, you slow it down. So if all of her Facebook pictures are taken by the professional photographer at your local lez-club or she’s on first name terms with half the staff, she’s probably still in single mode. Now if you’d like to have your heart slowly and sorely broken then be my guest and go ahead. Falling for someone who has spent months playing “Lesbian Dating Musical Chairs” is the quickest way to a broken heart, a third cat, and probably an STD. Bringing me nicely to - ***.The STD Illiterate Yes, lesbians can get goddamn STDs and we need to stop thinking we can’t. Dating a girl who is haphazard with her sexual health is a Deal Breaker and, although it’s an awkward conversation to have, you need to know before you get active that she’s wise with her choices and regularly checked. Dental Dams are the recommended weapon of choice for lesbians, but although I’m supposed to publically advocate such measures I sure as hell have never used one. They’re a bit like cling-film for the vagina and can sort of kill the mood. However, sexual safety is really damn important, because if it goes wrong, it can go really wrong, and fast. You can’t un-do herpes, HPV, or HIV, so don’t be stupid. Make sure you’re dating an actual grown up who doesn’t believe that “Lesbians don’t get STD’s,” which is like when my 16-year-old sister told me she couldn’t get pregnant on her period. *Facepalm*. 4.The Straight Woman As Alex Vause once said in OITNB, “Rule Number One – Don’t fall in love with a straight girl”. ‘Nuff said. Just as dangerous are the “experimenters” who take it too far. Now I’m all for women testing the waters (it’s filled many a happy Sunday) but tend to frown when I see them leading someone on. It’s a simple rule of thumb – If she’s not telling anyone about you (“My parents are religious”, “I’m going to do it when we’re more serious”, “They don’t know I’m gay yet and I’m waiting for the right time”) then she’s not planning on telling anyone about you. Give yourself a modicum of self-respect and make sure that, if you’re in her life, you’re actually in it, and she’s Out Of The Closet. Be with someone who wants to shout it from the rooftops. 5.Bi-Haters Not naming names, but I once had someone tell me that “Bisexuals are dirty. Let the Bi Girls date each other and leave the real lesbians alone” and it was everything I could do not to poke her swiftly in the eye. It echoes “Let the Blacks date each other, and leave the Whites a pure race” and is the most backwards opinion in the LGBT community I have ever heard. Whether someone is a Gold Star lesbian or Bisexual (damn right that’s a capital B)/>/>, there’s no pecking order, and bi-hate is poisonous. It’s friendly fire and has to stop. We have enough hatred to contend with; let’s leave the judgemental glares to the uninformed, shall we? And not within the very community that’s supposed to embrace freedom of sexuality. Bi girls are here to stay and coming to a Gay club near you – please don’t spill anything on our pretty lace dresses. Source 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 I could hug the author for No. 5. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abystacy Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Lool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Lool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Referencing number 1, I think vetting should start with oneself first before 'background checking' another. F***k as few women as possible. You don't want to be bedding (now) a future partner's ex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abystacy Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Lol. Real future partner's EX...so awkward Referencing number 1, I think vetting should start with oneself first before 'background checking' another. F***k as few women as possible. You don't want to be bedding (now) a future partner's ex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 lt's not that awkward na. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Imagine a slut doing background check on someone else, you'd want to wonder what she's checking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 not awkward at all. Small community afterall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaka Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Lool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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