Gay couple in legal fight with Thai surrogate over baby

[Iris]

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/07/22/asia/thailand-surrogacy-gay-couple/

 

 

Story highlights:

 

- [Couple claims surrogate told them they "were not an ordinary family"]

- [surrogate claims she's only interested in the well-being of baby Carmen]

 

 

Bangkok (CNN)Bud Lake is terrified. Since his daughter Carmen was born six months ago, using a surrogate in Thailand, he's known the Thai police, social services or the surrogate mother could take her away.

 

"I have no legal rights over Carmen. The woman who gives birth has all legal rights," he told CNN from the Bangkok apartment he shares with husband Manuel Santos, their two-year-old son and baby Carmen.

 

The drama began a week after Carmen was born in January. The day before Lake planned to take Carmen to get a U.S. passport, he received a text from the translator for Patidta Kusolsang, the surrogate mother. She said she wanted to keep the baby.

 

Now Carmen's future is in the hands of the Thai courts.

 

Surrogate clampdown:

 

The legal battle comes during a particularly complicated time. Thailand once had a booming surrogacy industry catering to foreign couples, but a series of scandals led the country's military rulers to ban the practice.

 

 

Shocking twist in abandoned baby case 03:00:

 

 

The new law takes effect at the end of the month and makes surrogacy for profit a criminal offense.

 

Carmen's fathers are hoping to take advantage of a temporary provision that would allow them to leave with Carmen, but it defines intended parents as a "husband and wife."

 

According to Lake, the baby is biologically his with an egg donor. He believes Kusolsang, the surrogate, changed her mind about giving them the baby after she found out they were gay.

 

In their first meeting to try and resolve the dispute, "she declared that we were not an ordinary family," he said.

 

Surrogate: I changed my mind

Kusolsang denied their sexual orientation is the issue, saying she cares only for the safety for her child.

 

"I miss her every day," Kusolsang said. "You see how cruel the world today. And I just don't know what they are going to do with my baby."

 

She told CNN she changed her mind months ago about giving up the baby and tried in vain to get more information about the intended parents.

 

Kusolsang has filed a claim with the Thai police and written a letter to the U.S. embassy. She said she will return the couple's money if she can have the baby.

 

"I don't want his money, not even one single baht," she said.

 

Lake and Santos plan to go to court on July 30 to file their petition. Stuck in Bangkok, they've been trying to raise money for their legal battle online. Their Fundly page currently shows contributions of more than $25,000.

 

"In our mind there is not a possibility that we can lose Carmen," Lake said. "She is our daughter and our daughter belongs with us."

 

He pledges to stay in Thailand as long as the battle takes.

 

U.S. couple stuck in Mexico due to surrogacy snafu

 

(CNN's Amara Walker contributed to this report)

 

(1 day ago)

[Iris]

Bud Lake and his husband Manuel Santos have been trapped in Thailand since their daughter Carmen’s birth in January and do not have any legal rights despite the fact that she is Bud’s biological child.

 

The couple went down the route of surrogacy in Thailand through an agency but their situation turned into a “nightmare” when Carmen’s surrogate changed her mind after the baby’s birth.

 

“The first contact we had was when we came to Thailand before Carmen’s birth in January and I met the surrogate at an ultrasound appointment and the doctor decided the next day that we would have a C-section and the surrogate was fine with that,” said Bud speaking to The Anton Savage Show.

 

“We had our flight booked out of Bangkok in February and there’s two things that we need to get. A passport so the baby can travel and permission to pass through Thai immigration which is basically a letter of consent from the surrogate mother.

“The problems started on January 27th the day before we were supposed to go to the American Embassy to arrange the passport. I got a message from the surrogate’s translator that she wanted to keep the baby,” said Bud.

 

Bud, who already has a son Alvaro (1) through surrogacy revealed that he was floored by the surrogate’s decision and soon found out it was made because of his sexuality.

 

“The first time in my life I went into physical shock. It was the worst nightmare of anyone who has ever done surrogacy. It was unexpected because it’s never happened to anyone in Thailand. Obviously we weren’t expecting it.

 

“There was zero explanation,” he said.

 

“Things started to become more clear when I met with the surrogate and our first lawyer and it was in that first meeting that she made the comment that we weren’t an ordinary family.

 

“She was fine doing it for an ordinary couple. She commented later on in the press that two men couldn’t provide for a child and take care of a child,” said Bud.

 

“I’ve lived a very nice life and my sexuality has never been an issue. This is an amazingly horrible time for this to become an issue for me. We were so focused on getting Carmen home that that part didn’t even bother us.

 

“I have no legal rights over her. We’re focusing on the legal situation to get Carmen out of the country.

 

“This situation is so crazy that I can’t even try to put myself into [the surrogate’s] shoes. We don’t think she is trying to renegotiate or ask for more money. That would be such a simple solution to this problem,” said Bud.

 

The dad revealed that although he and his husband are quite lonely in Bangkok and are in danger of losing their jobs and home in the US, their children brighten up their day.

 

“Carmen’s been for all her healthy baby checkups. Both of our children are very happy.

 

“Desperation was driving us insane for the first couple of weeks trying to make our flight home. But then we sat back and recounted everything going on and what we needed to do. And from then on it was just one foot in front of the other.

 

“We’re trying to find solutions from totally different angles.

 

“We have our children to brighten up our days. We’re going to do what we need to do to bring our daughter home,” he said.

 

The couple have set up a fundraising page to help cover their legal costs as they continue to try and bring Carmen home to the US.

 

(Three days ago)

 

http://m.independent.ie/life/family/family-features/gay-couple-devastated-after-thai-surrogate-changes-her-mind-shes-pressed-child-abduction-charges-against-me-31401505.html

[Iris]

American Gordon Lake and his Spanish husband, Manuel, were given Carmen in January when the surrogate signed papers allowing her to be released from hospital after the birth.

 

But the surrogate – who is not biologically related to the baby – later refused to sign documents allowing Carmen to get a passport, saying she had not realised the men were gay.

 

The couple have now gone into hiding with their daughter at a secret location in Bangkok fearing she will be taken from them.

 

Mr Lake, 41, told The Guardian: 'I was flabbergasted in a complete state of shock. It's your worst nightmare in a process like this. I didn't believe it.

 

'We sent messages back, hoping there was some sort of miscommunication. We were terrified.

 

She said she thought she was doing this for an "ordinary family" and when she found out that it wasn't an ordinary family she was worried for Carmen's wellbeing.'

 

The surrogate's lawyer, Verutai Maneenuchanert, said the mother only learned the men were gay when she saw documents left in her hospital room after the birth.

 

The surrogate also appeared on Thai TV in March to say she had wanted to help a 'legitimate married couple' and did not understand the surrogacy contract because it was in English.

 

Mr Lake is now calling for answers about why the surrogate did not know he was gay from the outset which he claims he made clear to the agency, New Life, that they used.

 

The agency's co-founder, Mariam Kukunashvili, told The Guardian that it is trying to help 'in any way possible' and insists the surrogate did know their sexual orientation from the beginning.

 

The fathers, who also have a two-year-old surrogate son, Alvaro, who was born in India, are launching legal action in a bid to been granted full parental rights of Carmen later this month.

 

Thailand does not recognise same-sex marriages but they are hoping for a lenient judge. 

 

In February, the Thai government passed a law criminalising surrogacy and prohibiting foreigners from seeking surrogacy services.

 

The law, which prohibits the act of hiring women commercially to carry foetuses to term, aims to stop Thailand from being a surrogacy hub for foreign couples.

 

It comes after a several scandals, including the infamous Baby Gammy saga, which involved an Australian couple who were accused abandoning an infant and leaving him with with his surrogate mother after learning he had Down Syndrome. 

 

(5 days ago)

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3167994/Gay-fathers-battle-leave-Thailand-surrogate-baby-daughter-mother-says-not-normal-couple-refuses-let-child-passport.html

[Abystacy]

Wow. What a tangle... To start with a surrogate mother has no right to the baby not after been paid for her services. Most often than not surrogate mothers do change their minds.. However, they should have made sure a contract was signed and sealed off before the birth relinquishing all right to avoid this particular ish. If there was no signed contract and judging from the thai law. The couple could face chances of losing the baby. It's a bad situation to be in. I hope the court will rule in their favor.

[Iris]

They don't have legal rights over Carmen, according to Thai law. Surrogate woman is well aware of this and will use that power against them.

 

The couple truly need those donations to hire a team, a highly outstanding lawyer that can subtlety refine the said 'surrogacy law' with strong powerful words to suit their case (like Matlock-fictional character). There's nothing words cannot do. It's why people go to court and hope to win even when the odds are against them.

 

Sadly, the Thai legal system is still somewhat traditional and do not have a jury system. Rulings are considered and determined solely by the Judge. Going by that premise, decisions will be based on what those laws are.

 

I don't think l know 'em laws but if logic and reason are championed as the only legitimate sources of what constitutes the law (generally), then the lawyer(s) should use that fact to counter the surrogate's sentimental attitude. She said 'she thought she was

doing this for an "ordinary family". Does the law care what you think? A contract is a contract and becomes binding with both parties' signatures. lt's called Surrogacy for a reason. Child isn't yours and will never be.

 

I hope this would crystallize before the court and the presiding judge makes the right decision (in favour of Lake and his husband).

[dequeen]

Lawyers that can win cases like this? I call them Sharks. Lol. I adore such lawyers. Back to the issue on ground. I wish the couple the best and I hope the surrogate mother changes her mind. Can't they blackmail her or something? just saying.