How Do I Stop Her From Being Jealous?

[FlyJ]

What can you do to show your girlfriend she has nothing to be jealous of? Unfortunately, not a lot. A little jealousy in a relationship can be okay and is actually quite normal. But if it’s getting to the point where she is “losing it” when guys pay attention to you, then you need to heed this as a warning. Jealousy in a relationship can turn toxic and even deadly.

 

Where does jealousy come from?

 

At its most basic level, jealousy is the fear of losing something or someone. When your girlfriend gets jealous, she is afraid of losing you to someone else. Or maybe she is afraid of losing you to any man because our culture can view opposite sex couples as more acceptable than same-sex couples. She could even be afraid of losing face—having her ego challenged if you pay attention to someone else.

 

Jealousy is a sign of insecurity and lack of self-confidence. She is projecting her fears of what might happen onto you, when in fact, she is the one with the problem.

 

Jealousy signals a lack of trust in a partner. If you haven’t been together very long, she might not be able to trust you with her heart and soul yet. Then again, you have not given her any reason to distrust you.

 

What is Jealousy?

 

Jealousy is about trying to restrict or manipulate another person’s behavior. Does she often ask you questions about where you are going, who you are out with, who is texting you and what you and your previous relationships were all about? Does she try to see if you cheated in the past or if you left another girlfriend for a man? Does she try to orchestrate your outings together and other situations to prevent you from interacting with others—especially men? Does she ask you not to talk to certain people? Not want you to go out with your friends after work? Monitor your social media accounts and text messages? These are all major warning signs that she might try to control more and more of your life as things in your relationship progress.

 

Jealousy is not often rational. It is a feeling that people need to learn how to control. The way to control jealousy is not by controlling a partner, though. In fact, trying to will often result in the exact opposite of what someone desires. In trying to control you, she will drive you away.

 

What is her history?

 

Oftentimes jealousy in one relationship comes from a previous relationship or family history. If her last girlfriend left her for a man, that could trigger these feelings in her now. Maybe her parents modeled jealousy in their relationship or she was the subject of it from a previous relationship. Oddly, some people think becoming jealous is a way to show that you care about someone. Parts of our culture—movies and music- enforce this belief.

 

What can you do to stop her jealousy?

 

There is nothing you can do to stop someone else from being jealous. Unless you are cheating on her, seeing other people behind her back or sneaking out and lying to her, you are doing nothing wrong.

 

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