Cinderella Nollywood version (culled from krak tv's blog)

[mermaid]

CINDERELLA – Nollywood

Version

 DECEMBER 30, 2015  EKETI EDIMA

ETTE  CULTURE

 

Once upon a time, a man named Babalola and a

woman named Ella, fell in love and bore a child

named Chinda. This little family was so full of

love for each other that their love created an

anti-gravitational bubble of protection around

them. Their daughter was especially full of

sugar and everything nice. Her parents called

her Cinderella.

 

Unfortunately, they forgot to update the

subscription on their Bubble of Love. So when

it expired, Chinda’s mother took ill and died.

When I heard what happened, I couldn’t help

but scream, ‘Eh yaahhh.’

 

It wasn’t long however, when through

consoling each other, father and daughter

soon bounced back from their grief. Their

lives went on like happy ever after. That is

until the arrival of the stepmother.

 

Lady Meraine. That was her name. She was a

widow, who arrived at the Babalolas’ residence

with her two daughters, Amaresia and Priscilla.

I don’t know what was wrong with Cinderella’s

father, but the man should have drunk a little

sapele water, before thinking of the

remarriage matter. Because, his new wife, who

together with her daughters, soon turned

Cindy’s life to hell fire.

 

View Years Later.

It was bad enough he gave her a bad new

mother. He now went and went and died. Who

does that? The poor girl was left at the mercy

of her stepmama. Without her father to

protect her, Cindy was soon turned to a

housemaid. She became a Jacqueline of all

trades. She cooked, washed, cleaned, sewed,

made their hair, and even mended their shoes.

“Cinderella!”

“Ma!”

“Ma what?”

“Yes, ma!”

“Today, my daughters and I are attending a

party in Aso Rock. Yes, Prezidenshal Villa. The

Igwe of Nigeria wants his son, Obong Chukwudi

Oghenekevbe Pepple, to choose a wife.”

“Ah, Mama, I heard o. Can I come?”

“Shattap dia! Who is your mama?” Stepmother

Tremaine asked, lips curled in extreme

annoyance. “Which clothes will you wear? I

said, the young Amayanabo is choosing a wife,

not looking for a maid. Ehen. Before I come

back, make sure you pluck all the waterleaves,

prepare a big pot of Afang soup, grind the

millet, wash all the ten bathrooms in this

house, weed the compound…”

“But I weeded it last we….”

“Weed it again,” her stepmother retorted.

“Also, don’t forget to prepare some special

Okoho soup for me. I shall eat it with my tuwo

shinkafa when I return.”

At that point, Cinderella’s heart sank to the

level of her tattered, Dunlop slippers. She

began to wail, “E gbami o…..eka mmi o! I don

die o!”

But her stepmother and sisters paid her no

mind. Dressed in the latest creations of

Louwitt Vittong, Varsahe, and smelling of

expensive Guggi perfumes, they sailed through

the doors of their stately mansion and

boarded the Hummer Jeep with alloy wheels

and sped off to the Villa.

 

Cindy went to the backyard and began to

weed. As she was doing so, she was startled by

a rustling sound from the top of one of the

orange trees. When she looked up, she saw an

old woman swinging from the lowest branch.

I will spare you the details of how she

screamed in shock and asked the woman if she

was a witch. Neither will I tell you how she

calmed down enough to let the woman explain

that she was her fairy godmother. I will bore

you if I add the details of how she told the

woman her stories of woe, which the woman

already knew about.

 

“Don’t worry, my daughter. You will go to that

parry,” Fairy Godmother said.

“But how? I don’t have anything to wear. All

my mother’s cord laces and Vlisco have been

confiscated by that wicked woman. Even the

Swiss lace I was saving for my wedding day,

she cut it up and made me sew identical bum

shorts for her asinine daughters.”

“Fogerrabourrit,” Fairy Godmother said,

waving away her concern. “I have

correct otumokpo . And today, I will make a

dress for you that will surpass the Swiss lace.”

Gazing down, she raised her wand, pointed it

at two Okon Calabar that were scurrying

around a nearby dustbin. Fiam! The rats

changed to two handsome Idris Elba

lookalikes. Cinderella’s mouth fell open. A fly

hovered dangerously close to her mouth. But

before it could investigate the interior, her

fairy godmother flung the wand at an udara,

a.k.a agbalumo which lay on the ground.

Instantly, the fruit turned to a Rolls Royce

Wraith. Cindybaby’s mouth closed snapped

shut. The woman turned and faced her.

“Are you ready?”

“Of course!” Cinderella exclaimed. Godmother

raised the wand, pointed it at Cindy and began

to chant.

“Jeneti ntequin….jeneti bugwee bugwee! Jeneti

mmatikule mmatikuleee….. Oya, kowai!”

Flash!

Cinderella was suddenly transformed into a

stunning princess, dressed in an attire of the

Benin Caliphate. Gone was her chapped, dry

skin. Now, it glowed like a thousand jewels. Her

was beyond description. On her head was a

crown of coral beads, studded with diamonds

and rubies. Her shabby dress

of abananya fabric was transformed into a

first grade ball gown, made from first grade

chiffon, and edged with Hollandis lace. Her

Dunlop slippers had disappeared. Encasing her

feet, were an unbelievably beautiful pair of

high heeled peep-toes made out of pure

baccarat glass.

“Ahdonbelivit!” Cindy exclaimed. “Na me be

dis? Oshe, tear leather!”

Her godmother beamed with pride as she

sashayed to the Rolls Royce and climbed into

in.

“Thank you so much, Fairy Godmother. I’m

forever grateful.”

“Don’t mention, my child. Just have fun today

and make sure that you win the heart of the

Prince.”

“But how shall I achieve this? With all the

women who’ll be there, I may not even get a

chance to see him.” Cinderella asked,

doubtful.

“Relax,” Godmother said. “I will arrange

everything. Just find a way to be close to him

just before midnight. Because at the stroke of

midnight, everything will return to what it was

before. Once it is quarter to twelve, start

running away from the Obong. Once you reach

the palace steps, remove one of your shoes

and leave it there. I will ensure that it doesn’t

change—they are only things that won’t

transform. But make sure you’re back before

midnight.”

“Is that all? He will just fall in love with me

because of a mere shoe?”

“Young woman, are you a learner? See, I don’t

do kopnomi, please. You will have to use your

brain. Engage him in intelligent conversation.

Say the unexpected. Surprise him. And under

no circumstances must you blush or tell him

he’s handsome. You hear me so?”

“Yes ma.”

 

One of the Rat-turned-man-turned-driver

closed the door to the car, got in and they

drove away, towards the Prezidenshal Palace.

[mermaid]

Don't ask me what nigeriality is o... i formed that one. :-)

[kimi]

LOL! That's one very funny tale! The Nigerianized expressions were laughable!

[Suavity]

Lmao! Naija no go kill person

[Calllaris]

Funny and different