Understanding my sexual identity

[kimi]

This thread is geared towards helping those (e.g. Guests) who struggle with their sexual identity.

 

How did you discover your sexual identity? What was that defining moment for you?

 

What steps can one take to find their path?

 

Feel free to be as verbose as you'd like *huge grin*

[kimi]

I discovered mine some 6years or so after my first crush on a girl.

 

I Read loads of articles online (when Internet became widespread). I practically educated myself. I did some online tests on sexuality as well. Considering our upbringing doesn't help, I lived in denial for another number of years hoping I would pray it away or close my mind to it until it fades.

My defining moment came from having struggled for over a decade. I knew for sure the other (heterosexuality) just wasn't working and couldn't work. I could only fall in love with a woman or have an intense attraction towards one.

 

Then ofcourse, only a woman could make me as horny af. I notice them and it's just in the way I get when I'm talking to a woman that catches my fancy.

Steps:

Read read read. There're a lot of materials out there. Then ask yourself this one question: "what gender do I consistently have crushes on or fall in love with"

 

Perhaps i'd try to include some useful links to this comment when I return from my next trip to the google

[TeeJay]

I don't have to read. Seriously. Always crushed on gurls. Since my first year in High school. I found myself attracted to this particular gurl in my class. Would never forget the day I gave her a peck outside class, at the close of school, and literally ran half way home. I was so excited! That was the first day I felt my face flush. I never got to see her again. I changed schools.

I never really played with girls. Boys were my playmates. Girly plays looked ridiculous. I was so shy around girls. It was weird that I didn't see two girls in a relationship, in the movies or real life. I never really cared if it was wrong or not. Had boys ask me out. I accepted just so I could look normal.

Then, in my senior high, when I was shipped off to a boarding school, I first learnt of the word "lesbian". They made it sound so bad. When I knew what I felt qualified me as a lesbian, I feared letting anyone know. I was so scared my Pastors would see me for who I was. Mehn, was I scared!

The more I fought it, the more "it" wanted out. Until I accepted who I was, irrespective what people knowing or not, I never knew peace. I was a walking zombie.

I don't know what being a Bi is like, but...whatever it is you feel, I want you to know that love IS a beautiful thing. The most beautiful thing in the whole wide world. Nothing can substitute the mutual feeling between two people. Nothing can replace that happiness you find in it!

[dequeen]

Mine should be secondary school too, I went to boarding school and learnt of the word "lesbian" but didn't think much about it. Adolescence hit me and I was crazy about this senior, the very scent of her drove me crazy, I would watch and watch and watch her,I would urge the senior in our room to invite her (cos they were friends) and I would lie on my upper bonk and watch them chatting sometimes with many other mates of theirs and just bask in the sound of her laugh, the delicateness of her fingers, her curly hair, her voice, her scent. I was captivated by everything about her. She was perfect to me, eventually I sent her a letter.

And the rest as they say, is history. Lol.

[kimi]

I promised i'd return with some material.

 

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sexual-orientation-gender‎

 

http://teenhealthsource.com/sgd/understanding-sexual-identity-gender/

 

http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/comingoutadvice/f/LesbianorBi.htm

 

They are quite simplistic. For you, at this point, I would believe the less complicated the better.

 

Summary of it all is that it is 'your work' to do. Hoping you find the links useful