INTERVIEW: STRAIGHT GIRL STARTS DATING WOMEN BECAUSE SHE'S FED UP WITH MEN

[Modd]

Commonly, straight women say to lesbians 'You are so lucky you are gay. It must be so much easier dating women. Men are such assholes'. As often as we hear this declaration I'm sure most lesbians almost always robotically respond, 'Dating women is not easier. They make women in as****h**le forms too'. Usually after that quick auto response of an answer, you get the head tilt to the side like a puppy and an immediate barrage of question as to how girl on girl dating difficulties can even be possible.

Unintentionally straight women think lesbians paint each others nails, buy matching flannel clothes, and watch L Word on Netflix all day. Our relationships can be just as difficult as straight relationships. I swear there is no deep science to it. One of our readers gives us an in depth look of her personal journey as to why she decided to date women. Get Your Life Girl interviewed *Karen (name has been changed because she didn't want you real life lezzies dragging her to filth) about her decision to give the girl pond a try and we got her candid views on why she chose to be a woman who dates women.

 

 

At what point in your life did you decide that you did not want to be with men anymore?

 

I was at the point in my life where I was just tired of dating men and going through a courtship only to be used for one thing. I always envisioned lesbian relationships as easier because as two women you understand each other better. I just said "enough is enough and I am tired of the bull". I wanted to try to have a stable relationship with a woman.

 

Are you sexually attracted to women?

 

Now I am, but the attraction is more mental than physical.

 

Did you need coaching, not just as a novice, but as someone who didn't really want to get intimate with a woman?

 

Yes. It was all very new to me and I was scared. I've always recognized women's beauty but it was more like admiration. I never though about being in a relationship with a woman until I was fed up with dealing with horrible men.

 

How difficult was it to transition into dating women when you were not naturally (automatically) attracted to them?

 

I always appreciated the beauty of women, it's just I just didn't think about a sexual relationship with one. I'm a sexual person so it was pretty easy to be in the moment and get caught up and be turned on. The chemistry I had with a woman was one that I never explored until I made the decision to try something new. I was surprised by how much I was attracted to some of the women I dated.

 

What was the specific event that made you decide that you wanted to explore dating women?

 

A guy I was seriously dating got two women pregnant at the same time. My previous relationship had a similar outcome.

 

Wow, that is heartbreaking. How old are you and how long have you been dating women?

 

I'm 29 and I've been dating women for two years.

 

We are in the age of people living a certain lifestyle but not wanting to label it. For information purposes do you consider yourself lesbian, bi, or straight?

 

People want to be able to be free and love freely on an open spectrum. I do not identify as a lesbian or bisexual or straight for that matter. I do know that people will label me a lesbian and that is fine. No one can define me.

 

Do you know the sub labels in the black lesbian community?

 

Yes, thanks to google. I've learned a lot.

 

Name some labels that you know.

 

Stud, femme, lipstick lesbian, femme for femme, stud for stud.

 

If you had to pick the best label for you, what would it be?

 

I would say femme for femme / lipstick lesbian.

 

Do you know what a pillow princess is?

 

Yes, she's the submissive one in the relationship.

 

Would you describe yourself as a pillow princess?

 

Yes.

 

Why is that?

 

I'm still very shy about lesbian sex.

 

Because it does not come natural to you?

 

No, more so because I am new to it and I don't want to mess up.

 

It's been two years how is it still new to you? Be honest, it's because you don't want to eat the box.

 

No that's not it. I'm just submissive and the women I date don't mind that.

 

Describe your ideal woman.

 

She is feminine and beautiful. Smart and caring and has good morals.

 

Are feminine women the only women you are attracted to?

 

To date yes. I see the beauty in all women. Studs are cute but not for me.

 

So how did you go about finding women who were into women? What was your means to finding gay girls?

 

I signed up on some girl for girl dating sites and I frequented some lesbian parties and just started including myself in the crowd. I have gay male friends and they would take me to these great parties with lesbians.

 

Are you with the same woman you decided to start dating after being tired of the baby daddy bandit?

 

No, I am not with her anymore. She is a great person and we decided we would be better off as friends.

 

What was the cause of the break up?

 

She was paranoid that I wanted to date men again because I didn't want to commit as quickly as she did.

 

Ahhh grasshopper. So you had encountered the mighty U-Haul lesbian.

 

(Laughs) Yes, it was intense. I commit pretty easily but it was literally the second date and she was talking moving in, marriage, family and stuff like that. I was still coming to terms with dating a woman.

 

How does your family deal with you dating women?

 

They do not know. I think they have an idea but are not truly sure.

 

How will they take the news when they find out?

 

I am not sure. I come from an old school family so I'm sure it will be a headache.

 

Do you think you will go back to dating men?

 

I cannot predict the future but as of now no.

 

Do you miss dating men?

 

No.

 

Are you still sexually attracted to men?

 

No.

 

So if a beautiful man walks by, smelling all good, eggplant looking like The Game's through his sweats, you mean to tell me as a woman who identified as straight for most of her life that you don't miss that loving and sex?

 

No. Sex is not everything.

 

Natural attraction is.

 

I don't want to be bothered with men as of now. Period.

 

How would you break it to your woman that you are leaving her to be with men again?

 

If I break up with a woman it will not be for men. I won't make a haste decision to be with a man because I know in the end he will play me.

 

Women will play you too.

 

I know, but it is different.

 

Different how?

 

She is a second class citizen like me. She won't put me through that kind of pain because she knows how hellish life and dating can be.

 

I hope you never experience heartache from a woman because that shit will hurt your soul's soul! It's not exclusive to heterosexuals.

 

I know women can hurt you too, but it's just not as bad as a man.

 

Do you hang out with self identified lesbians?

 

Yes, they are not my friends, but my girlfriend's friends.

 

Do they know that you don't identify as lesbian or bisexual?

 

Some do.

 

I bet they ask you if you have been ran through by men.

 

(Laughs) That is exactly what they ask, but I kindly inform them that I've been with as many men as they have been with women.

 

Lesbians don't care about that. The peen insertion always outweighs vag humping.

 

(Insatiable laughter)

 

How do they treat you?

 

They are cool, a bit judgmental but I expected it. I know it's new for some people.

 

Does that bother you?

 

Not at all. I live my life for me. People will always find something to talk about.

 

Do you think you perpetuate the stereotype that bisexual women are promiscuous?

 

I do not identify as bisexual and I don't perpetuate the stereotype because I am not promiscuous.

 

Are you open to your friends about primarily dating women because you were over men?

 

I've told my best friends.

 

And what was their reaction?

 

My friends are supportive and have expressed that they just want me to be happy. I've always been quite free spirited so they were not that shocked.

 

Many lesbians have a hard time dating openly bi women because they fear that she may one day leave for a man. Does your girlfriend express these kinds of concerns to you?

 

No. She is really secure in herself.

 

Does your girlfriend identify as lesbian.

 

Yes she does.

 

How long have you two been dating?

 

*** months.

 

Expect the paranoia. Now that you have been in a (several) relationships for some time with a woman do you think it is easier than dating a man?

 

Every relationship has it's ups and downs but yes it is easier. I am treated with much more love and respect.

 

But are you really offering her everything she needs.

 

I try to be the best girlfriend and treat people the way I want to be treated. From what she has told me about her past lesbian labeled relationships they didn't work out any better than what we have. Why wouldn't she try with me?

 

Why not just date a woman like yourself?

 

Because most women that don't identify as lesbians usually only want something quick or want threesomes. I am a rare breed. I want a monogamous relationship.

 

But you've been dating for two years and have had several relationships. So what is keeping you from settling down? You do see that dating women is not a quick fix right?

 

It's about compatibility. I have to find someone I can really be with for the long run.

 

Do you think because you chose the gay life (and it is not from your heart) it is subconsciously hindering you from settling down with a woman like you wanted to settle down with the men you dated?

 

(Long silence) I chose it but if I did not like it I would have stopped dealing with women. I am tired of the hurt and pain with men and will settle down with the right woman when she comes along.

 

Are you literally settling with women but you really wish a man would get his shit together so you could be with him?

 

Ideally but that will never happen. Men will never get it together. They do not know how to be loyal and do not understand the nature of a real relationship. Scientifically they are not wired that way.

 

What advice would you offer for women like yourself?

 

The best advise I can give is be open. If you have thought about dating women even though you haven't been attracted to women all your life then those feelings are ok. Not everyone is in first grade and realizes they are gay. No matter what anyone tries to tell you life is a choice and you have every right to choose who you want to date.

(Having trouble placing the link to original post. Oh well)

 

*****************

Yeah, its a long one but I thought it was an interesting read, right?

What do you guys think? What's your take on this "brave" action by this woman? Is she being Brave or just delaying the inevitable?

Do you know someone who has gone this route? Please share if you can.

 

Do you think she will last? Do you think any relationship she gets into with a woman will last?

[Hawken]

She's only with women because she thinks ALL men are the same. Truth is, the moment she finds a man who has his shit together she's out.

[Hawken]

I want to smack her for saying lesbian relationships are easier and that women don't hurt you like men do. However, that statement just points out the fact that she places more value on men.

[Hawken]

TF she mean by relationships with women don't hurt as bad?? KMT! Just the thought of getting into a relationship with a woman is hurting me.

[Hawken]

But then again, I LOVE BAD BITCHES THATS MY f***kING PROBLEM :D

[Abystacy]

Wtf.... I can't stop laughing... She's really way off..

[kimi]

Hahahahaha! Hawken o! Only you!

 

Truth is, this just affirms my believe in how fluid sexuality is. I wish her the very best. LOL @ shy though (2years on) :D :D

 

That was a super long read. Stopped reading mid way.

 

Na wa. #nocmomment

[Skills]

lol...Hawken ...breath Darlyn...breath..

 

Let's allow her experience it herself....Experience they say,is the best teacher...

Her eyes would soon be clear,she's just naive.

hehehehhe

 

#Evil grin.

[Hawken]

lol...Hawken ...breath Darlyn...breath..

 

Let's allow her experience it herself....Experience they say,is the best teacher...

Her eyes would soon be clear,she's just naive.

hehehehhe

 

#Evil grin.

 

Very naive! I also think she isn't allowing herself fall in love with these women. For her, its all about companionship and settling down cos she dont wanna be alone in her old age.

[Hawken]

Hahahahaha! Hawken o! Only you!

 

Truth is, this just affirms my believe in how fluid sexuality is. I wish her the very best. LOL @ shy though (2years on) :D/> :D/>

 

That was a super long read. Stopped reading mid way.

 

Na wa. #nocmomment

 

Have you noticed how most times, when sexual fluidity is mentioned, its always in respect to women?

[kimi]

Hmmmm... LOL! Oh well... we're just special. She'll come for you Hawken. I saw it in the crystal ball :D :D

[Modd]

Mehn, I'm with Hawken on this, when she see a good man, she'll choose him over the woman she's dating.

she should rather look inward and discover why she keeps attracting or settling for deadbeat men instead of jumping ship to dating women.

Lesbian relationships are less stress? *cynical laugh* How naïve...

Good luck to her though, hope finds herself and redefines her sexuality independent of her experience with men or her assumptions about women.

:)

[Modd]

Have you noticed how most times, when sexual fluidity is mentioned, its always in respect to women?

Yup. There is a preconceived notion that all women (some say 75-80%) are bisexual and only choose to be with men or women or remain bisexual.

And yes, an actual study was carried out by psychologists and this was their finding. ;)

[Modd]

TF she mean by relationships with women don't hurt as bad?? KMT! Just the thought of getting into a relationship with a woman is hurting me.

;D

Come here... *big hug* there you go. All better now?

[Hawken]

;D

Come here... *big hug* there you go. All better now?

 

Hahahaha not really :P

 

But wait oh, you mean to say that there is a 75 - 80% chance that my crush is gay?? The odds are in my favour oh *pensive*

The next time she walks past me, i shall tap her derriere and see how she reacts...

[Modd]

Hahaha. That is an excellent idea! Let me know how that turns out for you.

Once you give me the good news, I'll proceed with my own crush. ;)

[Princesa]

Hmmm... dis lady doesn't knw where it's doin her cos it's eida ure gay, bi or straight ryt? yh no1 likes labels n issh buh she is avoiding callin her sef sumtin so she can always pull out wen d odds r in her favour. Wish her gudluck

 

Loll @ her sayin lesbian relationships r easier she shudve been on dis site weeks bak she wee run...# m running away msef

[chocolat]

LMAO..she's just having fun with the same.

[lala1990]

See as Hawken start para immediately.

Even the interviewer was just hounding the girl, lol

 

Lack of women drama is what is doing this one. If a girl gives you headache ehn, you will know men are learners. Well maybe it depends on how deeply you care about the person. Women won't get 2 chicks pregnant but they can do some nasty stuff too.

 

I've always known women are more sexual fluid, I didn't even know a study was done to confirm it. I think where the line is drawn is when it comes to long term relationships. Then a choice has to be made.