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9 Things You Don't Want to Happen on a First Date


FlyJ

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1. She Looks Nothing Like her Profile Picture

There is nothing worse than going to meet someone you've been chatting with from an online dating site or app and you don't recognize her when she walks in because she looks nothing like her profile pic.

 

While there is nothing you can do to be sure your date's photos are up-to-date, don't be that person. Make certain that your dating profile pics are from the last six months.

 

2. Run into Her Ex

You're just sitting down to have a cup of tea, and suddenly your date starts acting squirrely. She's trying to hide behind her phone and she won't look up. You glance across the room and see another woman staring at you. It's her ex.

 

Is your date ruined? It all depends on how she handles it. Her response and reaction can tell you a lot about how she is in relationships. Is she able to talk to you about what's going on? Is she able to acknowledge that what's happening is really awkward and laugh about it? Does she ditch you and go to her ex?

 

Running into her ex while you're on a date can be unfortunate, but it doesn't have to ruin the evening, depending on how you both recover.

 

***. Run into Your Ex

Just as bad as running into her ex on a first date is running into yours. If this does happen to you, the best thing to probably do is acknowledge her, be polite and say hello. You can then decide if you want to move on to another establishment or wait to see if your ex leaves.

 

You might feel rattled. That's okay. It's best to be honest with your date and let her know who that person is you just ran into. The best case scenario is you have a laugh about it all.

 

To avoid running into your ex, stay away from the places you used to go to together or her favorite haunts.

 

4. Discover You Don't Have Anything to Talk About

 

For me, probably worse than not being attracted to someone on a first date is discovering you have nothing to talk about. That's why it's always best to chat a bit online before you agree to meet someone in person. Get to know a bit about her background, what her work is, what she does for fun, what she reads and if she shares any of your same interests. There is nothing more awkward than sitting across from someone you have no connection with and trying to make small talk, when all you're hoping for is the appropriate amount of time to pass so you can excuse yourself. If nothing else, come prepared with a few things to talk about. These 22 Great First Date Questions are a great place to start.

 

5. Crying

If one of you cries on a first date, it's probably not going well. And it's happened. Maybe she's not over her ex and being out with someone new brings all those feelings up. Or she's super nervous or the topic of conversation makes her feel like she's unworthy. Maybe you get a text in the middle of the date that your family dog has just died. No matter the reason, crying is not something you want to have happen on a first date. It's a great way to prevent a second date from happening.

 

How can you prevent it? The best way to prevent yourself from crying is to make sure you're ready for dating, over your ex and not still pining for someone else.

 

If she cries, try to have a bit of sympathy. Listen. Let her finish. See that she gets home safely and know that it may seem bizarre, you're not the first one this has happened to.

 

6. She Acts Rude

There is nothing worse than someone who is rude to you on a first date. Sometimes sarcasm or ill-conceived humor can come off as being rude. Off-color comments should be kept to yourself until you know someone and they get you and your sense of humor.

 

Even worse than unintentional rudeness, is someone who is downright mean to you or the wait staff at your date meet-up. If she is demanding to the waiter or pissy or insulting to you, feel free to get up and leave. There's no obligation to stay around in a situation like that.

 

7. She Tells You She Loves You

 

Yikes. Getting told "I Love You!" on a first date is a big red flag. Even if the date is going super-well and even if you're sitting there thinking, "I think I love this woman." Saying "I love you," too soon is a sign that she is more in love with the idea of being in love than she is interested in actually really getting to know you. Slow down, sister.

 

8. She Gives You the Third Degree

 

A first date is a great time to ask each other questions and get to know one another. But some questions are not appropriate on a first date. Questions about how much money you make, what really happened with you and your ex or how many women you've been with are ill-advised for a first date. Even worse is her questioning your choices or decisions you've made in a judgmental tone.

 

If you can, deflect her questions with humor. Or just be blunt and let her know you're not comfortable with her questions. Not everyone has social skills or graces.

 

9. One of You Gets Drunk

 

Getting drunk on a first date is a big red flag. If your date has more than two drinks over the span of a few hours, it could be an indication that she has a problem with alcohol. Sometimes people drink more than they normally would when they are nervous, but be wary of someone who gets so drunk you have to help her home. It's not a great way to start off a relationship and should probably be a deal-breaker.

 

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