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Useful tips for dating


kimi

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PS. It's good Friday after all. Respect yourself and don't go on any dates today.

 

Considering all you can eat is fish... we don't want you getting funny fishy ideas and blaming it all on the big guy! *smh* your minds need cleansing for sure! Not cool! I'm not happy.

 

Okay... so I figured, among the class of Nigerian Lesbians who aren't great kissers, there also exist those who don't fully understand the concept of dating. So here goes! I have taken my time to write this, hope it blesses someone.

 

  1. When on dates, please do not look into her blouse in an obvious way. Maintain eye contact and spend more time trying to score points instead. 30minutes into the date, ask her to close her eyes and think of the time when she felt on top of the world. This would be your chance to look into that blouse, drop a pea in it and help her get it out of there.
  2. Do not run out of words. This is bad dating etiquette for sure. If you initiated the date, courtesy demands that you have an agenda for it. Femmes: lucky you, sit pretty and smile a lot. You could also ask a few personal questions that takes her off guard. Others: I'm actually upset your are still reading on. The only date you deserve is on your calendar.
  3. Do not sweat profusely. Ensure you chose a location that has adequate ventilation and air conditioning. For those in the North, go on dates in the night.
  4. Do not dig for gold or smell it or roll the booger as balls. Do not flick it on her or ask her is she enjoys digging for gold too. Please for heaven's sake.
  5. Do not scratch. If you have an itch in your private area, do not spread your legs wide and scratch. Do not make funny sounds when doing this if you go against my advice. Just don't do it and touch her face with it.
  6. If it's your boobs, and you think an ant has found its way in there, endure some pain like your saviour did. If you choose to disregard my advice then whatever you do, do not bring out both breasts out of your bra. Do not be overly aggressive with them. You may get yourself some scratch wounds. Instead, rub softly. Very softly indeed. Focus on the nipples and the itch would ease off magically.
  7. Do not go putting your hands in her pants even if she asks for it. Tell her to do it to you first because it would give you a better understanding of how she likes it done to her :D
  8. In eating, pretend you eat fancy food all the time. Do not rush your food or spill drinks on your shirt. As much as you can, waste the food. Take a spoon and tell her it's a bit off from what it usually is.
  9. It's the raining season now.... remember to get a solid umbrella.
  10. Enroute home (wherever that is), always lap each other. This would be the only chance you'd get to know if you feel a second date would be worth both your time. It's okay, you can also take turns. Remember not to give yourselves away by making silly cum faces, biting on lips or other such jagajaga facial expressions.

 

I hope this has been helpful! Spring workshop begin soon. Ensure you get registered, it's going to be on a first come basis ;)

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I disagree with No1 Kimi. I think there is no greater eye contact than with your date's nipples. Also, it gets the point across that you are definitely interested.

I love No3! Especially the dating at night part. This way, the girls won't tell a vampire from the living :)

Solid post. Sign me up for spring classes!

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Hahahahahaha! You are spoilt rotten. "Nipples most awesome Nipples" have got to be my next password! :D Won't that be a hook-up alert and What if she's looking for something more stable?

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Hahahahahaha! You are spoilt rotten. "Nipples most awesome Nipples" have got to be my next password! :D/>/> Won't that be a hook-up alert and What if she's looking for something more stable?

 

Awesome password B)/>

Also, is there anything more steady than sex on tap?

I hear hookups have been proven to be a great prelude to a relationship...

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I beg to differ number 2! Some of us can be really gentle, you know :D

 

As for number 8... she better not pretend o, else there would be no second date. Infact, the higher the standard of the date venue, e.g Sheraton, Four Point, Nna...babe, the more you mustn't pretend o. In short, eat like a glutton. No formings. I love food <_< So don't make me uncomfortable. Biko. I would just try not to spill.

 

What girl would ask me to put my hand in her pant when we are out on date :huh: . Na so my love tickle your "you-know" reach? :blink: I go fear o

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Hahahahahaha!!! Kimi is back!!! Yay!!! Pray tell, Number 2, what sort of questions would throw a person off guard??

 

What did you love about your ex?

 

Do you want me to give a head in the restroom right now?

 

What's the colour of the pant you are on? (This sounds like me *hides face*)

 

Tell me what you think about aliens.

 

Makes sense, Dequeen?

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What did you love about your ex?

 

Do you want me to give a head in the restroom right now?

 

What's the colour of the pant you are on? (This sounds like me *hides face*)

 

Tell me what you think about aliens.

 

Makes sense, Dequeen?

 

Hahaha! But those are the best questions! Guarded questions are no fun joor.

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Hahaha! But those are the best questions! Guarded questions are no fun joor.

 

Now I want you so bad... sitting opposite me, on a date at Iya Basira's corner!

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Now I want you so bad... sitting opposite me, on a date at Iya Basira's corner!

That ought to be good. The more daring the corner, the more shocking the questions *wink*

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I disagree with No1 Kimi. I think there is no greater eye contact than with your date's nipples. Also, it gets the point across that you are definitely interested.

I love No3! Especially the dating at night part. This way, the girls won't tell a vampire from the living :)/>

Solid post. Sign me up for spring classes!

 

 

eh. If I now wear bra- like I totally would- how will you now see the nipples?

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Questions to ask.

Are you scared of heights?

Do you like the dark?

I intend to go hiking, are you game?

Sex is beautiful under the bright starry sky of morroco's deserts, what do you think?

Don't worry I'll deal with the snakes and Scorpions.

Do you have interests in Astronomy?

Would you like to visit the moon? Its big and pretty like you eyes.

Uh....

I'm sorry I'm out of questions.

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O wow! Now I understand the questions!

Like, what face do you make when you cum? Do you moan like you're crying, laughing or singing when having sex? Do you believe in God? If yes, why? So you believe there's a heaven and hell, have you been there? Have you ever seen any of your parents private parts?

I'm a good student, right??

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Hahahahahahahahahaha! Nice one ladies... you all get to a present from me. Will make drillers outta all you beauties :D : d :D hahahahaha

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O wow! Now I understand the questions!

Like, what face do you make when you cum? Do you moan like you're crying, laughing or singing when having sex? Do you believe in God? If yes, why? So you believe there's a heaven and hell, have you been there? Have you ever seen any of your parents private parts?

I'm a good student, right??

 

Very good student. By the way, I sneeze like a cat when cumming. (See where the dry joke coin just fell)

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Hahahahahaha! Hawken, you are such an old girl! You shall be one of the tutors. The newbies have so much to learn from you ;)

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  • 1 year later...

LMAO!

No 6, is so me..i went out with my ex one time, and while walking through the supermarket aisles, something found its way to my boobs. 

I whipped my boobs out of my bra like it was on fire. I am too carefree for my own good sometimes. :597f839311844_tw_grin1:

My ex almost died from laughter that day. 

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  • 1 year later...

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