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Conceptualizing Love


kimi

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I realise that, at best, there are a variety of ways that we come to love another. Here are a few I could come up with. Feel free to add to the list.

 

It is my hope that it provides insight for the popular question: 'what is love?'

 

I have come to accept that Love is a mystery. There's isn't one single way or single definition for it. Our hearts were designed to love. You'd know it when you have it. Don't get bugged down over analysing k...

 

  • There's the love that starts when your heart stops. This is the most sought after. The one we see played out in the movies. The one everyone wants an experience of. However, there are others too. Equally as beautiful.
  • There's another that grows with time... sometimes, it doesn't happen with you two being friends. This is the accidental type. At a certain point the 'beast' starts to look more human and that human you would realise, has a heart like none other.
  • There's also another that develops from a friendship. A friendship that builds a bond strong enough the hearts begin to beat as one.
  • Then there's the one that starts in the place of perseverance and pain. When you find yourself in a place where you share in another's experience, grief or pain... you gain a new perspective of life and in gaining it, you realise that they are the most beautiful thing on earth. You start to feel a different sort of fondness and love for them.
  • There's love that comes from choice. From choosing to stay with one. From deciding that they are all you ever need and there's isn't anything else another can give to you that they don't have or cannot be taught.
  • There is the love that comes from pity. From a deep concern and association with someone's else circumstance. Sometimes, it could be pity for loving you knowing there isn't a chance in the world that it would ever be returned. Then you stay long enough for some odd reason and realise you have come to care and appreciate and love them too.
  • There's the love that emanates from the lack of available options. Someone once said that "when the desirable isn't available, the available becomes the desirable". It would surprise you that this love could become equally as consuming
  • There's yet another love that could stem from having being loved so deeply by another that you start to return the love not out of obligation but because as humans, a love so pure and so true that perseveres gets returned sooner or later.

 

Love happens to all differently but the feelings converge. The fruits are similar... the goodness it inspires speaks the same truth. And so, for as much as is up to you, chose to love however you know to do ;)

 

PS

Feel free to disagree or add to the list the other variations that haven't been covered here.

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In my view, it isn't much about how we come to love or the circumstances that bring it about. What is essential is that we find love. Love is an outcome. We shouldn't put it in a box or expect that the billions of people in the world would find love the same way...

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I've never been the type that wants to analyse love. I just let it happen and go with the flow. Nice write up dear

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This is very interesting....

I have really tried to analyse the concept of love.. But I quit on that because, to me it can never be understood with the rational mind.. It's a human emotion period... So I prefer to leave it alone and let it run its course...

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Love to me is simple yet complicated. It's the variety of it that makes it more confusing. Which is authentic and which is not?

In your concepts, love and settling become one but should it really be that way?? Shouldn't love make your heart jump or skip or race?

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Love Really Does Conquer All. Exhaustion. Sleep Deprivation,anything.

Then there are those times when It seems Like Love Brings Us Nothing But Pain.

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Hahahaha.... well... Considering you've by your question made me the in-house love doctor, here goes :unsure:

 

Love isn't a feeling or an emotion. It is possible for someone who was settling to find love after several months of being in the relationship. The mindset changes and we start to re-evaluate people differently.

 

Giddy is superb, however, passion is fleeting. If I feel a rush, does that make it more superior to one's ability to make another smile effortlessly even when they aren't in the same location?

 

These things like you rightly said are complicated.LOL.

 

Signed.

Doc! :D

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Hahahaha.... well... Considering you've by your question made me the in-house love doctor, here goes :unsure:/>

 

Love isn't a feeling or an emotion. It is possible for someone who was settling to find love after several months of being in the relationship. The mindset changes and we start to re-evaluate people differently.

 

Giddy is superb, however, passion is fleeting. If I feel a rush, does that make it more superior to one's ability to make another smile effortlessly even when they aren't in the same location?

 

These things like you rightly said are complicated.LOL.

 

Signed.

Doc! :D/>

 

I believe love is a feeling and an emotion for the most part. People that settle don't find love, they get more and more irritated with the person as time goes on.

Your friends can make you smile so why would anyone give up that giddy feeling for a smile that can be gotten anywhere??

And the final concept about people eventually loving someone cause of how much the person loves them?? Idonbilivit! If I don't like a person and they're all over me? Eewww. Nothing disgusts me more. Obsession isn't love and that's what I would picture that scenario as.

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Hahahaha. Na wa o. What kind of student is this? Be thou content with ignorance. Little one :D :P :D hahahahahaha

 

Okay okay.... errr. I shall be back.

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Okay... so I'd take your concerns one after the other.

 

I believe love is a feeling and an emotion for the most part: love is anything but an emotion. Emotions are very unstable. Happy today, sad tomorrow. Love built on emotions would only be chaotic. Love is an action word. It is in the doing. It is in the decision come what may.

 

People that settle don't find love, they get more and more irritated with the person as time goes on: I do understand your view point. However, It is not in the settling that the love is found. It is in the coming to finally 'see' the person and appreciate them anew. It's in having a paradigm shift and no longer perceiving them to be that which you settled for. I have heard a few stories to buttress this point.

 

Your friends can make you smile so why would anyone give up that giddy feeling for a smile that can be gotten anywhere??: the smile I write of isn't the one common to all. I do it often. I sit, I think of one and I smile. Like I really smile. Sometimes I don't even know I'm smiling till someone calls my attention to it. Not everyone would go jumping up and down in excitement about another. That isn't my style to be honest. Both are expressions of love in their own rights ;)

 

And the final concept about people eventually loving someone cause of how much the person loves them??: This is the simplest to respond to. The love of Christ is the perfect example. It is because of a love so great that we have come to love him. While we were still sinners He chose to give Himself up for our sins...

 

Does this help? Be like sheep! Ask no more! :D *jokes*

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Ooooh... trouble making students. Be like sheep! Makes the world a happier place :D/> :D/> :D/>

 

Hahaha! Too many sheep already. We want to be wolves. There's better chance of survival there. *tongue out*

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Do share the stories to buttress this point because in the book, the alchemist, Fatima is the boys soulmate, yet he is warned that if he settles with her, he will grow to resent her years down the line. He will feel he might have had better luck if she weren't in his life. I also have other stories to buttress this point.

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LOL. Na wa. I see someone had a vengeance juice this morning.

 

In the story you speak of, settling was in relation to a dream. To his personal legend. Santiago was warned not to give up the Pursuit of his dream for the woman because he will forever feel resentment for settling down and not pursuing his personal legend to completion. Settling was in the context of the dream and not the woman.

 

He was advised of the above by her (his true love). She trusted enough in their love that she could allow him be free to pursue his dreams knowing full well that he will return if it was meant to be.

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That's cheating! Bringing Jesus into this, you and I know it doesn't apply. He had agape love, people don't have agape love towards people, we aare not capable of so pure a love. Tell me about Eros love, about the romantic kind of love, how does it apply then?? Not to slight dwarfs but this dwaarf is absolutely crazy about you, and below average looking. What "seeing" are you talking about? What are we to see to change our mind other than getting rid of this person?

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That's cheating! Bringing Jesus into this, you and I know it doesn't apply. He had agape love, people don't have agape love towards people, we aare not capable of so pure a love. Tell me about Eros love, about the romantic kind of love, how does it apply then?? Not to slight dwarfs but this dwaarf is absolutely crazy about you, and below average looking. What "seeing" are you talking about? What are we to see to change our mind other than getting rid of this person?

 

Hahahahahaha. You slighted them. Apologise!

 

'seeing' someone means seeing beyond the appearance. Seeing them for who they are. Underneath it all... the person they are on the inside. The intellect, the kindness, the goodness.

 

Jesus' example stays! :D Lo! His spirit shall teach you all things including Eros :D

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LOL. Na wa. I see someone had a vengeance juice this morning.

 

In the story you speak of, settling was in relation to a dream. To his personal legend. Santiago was warned not to give up the Pursuit of his dream for the woman because he will forever feel resentment for settling down and not pursuing his personal legend to completion. Settling was in the context of the dream and not the woman.

 

He was advised of the above by her (his true love). She trusted enough in their love that she could allow him be free to pursue his dreams knowing full well that he will return if it was meant to be.

 

Settling is settling. Settling is knowing you can have more and choosing less. Eventually you tend to hate this less and curse yourself for choosing less. Ask perpetrators of domestic violence aalot of times, their anger toward the other party is the feeling and frustration that comes from settling. Even people who are assumed to have settled well still look outside often for fun and excitement because settling gets dull amongst other things. Don't you think?

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Hahahahahaha. You slighted them. Apologise!

 

'seeing' someone means seeing beyond the appearance. Seeing them for who they are. Underneath it all... the person they are on the inside. The intellect, the kindness, the goodness.

 

Jesus' example stays! :D/> Lo! His spirit shall teach you all things including Eros :D/>

 

Hahaha! My apologies to all dwarfs nation wide. Better??

The appearance of a person is part of who they are. Are you dating a spirit or a soul? Seeing is everything. Physical and otherwise.

It is still a fierce debate as to whether Jesus experienced the Eros love while on earth, on that note, as someone once told me "Don't tell me about swimming until you can swim". Jesus can only teach me agape, not Eros.

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Shouldn't love be pleasing to all the senses? All the six senses? Shouldn't the eyes as well as the heart find pleasure in the person?

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Hahaha! My apologies to all dwarfs nation wide. Better??

The appearance of a person is part of who they are. Are you dating a spirit or a soul? Seeing is everything. Physical and otherwise.

It is still a fierce debate as to whether Jesus experienced the Eros love while on earth, on that note, as someone once told me "Don't tell me about swimming until you can swim". Jesus can only teach me agape, not Eros.

 

Hahahahahahaha! You are a clown. Open your heart to Him and accept him. This is the perfect season. I would not entertain anymore questions till you do the needful. *puts on white garment; ready with candles and broomsticks in hand* :D

 

Oya, Bere mole ko kigbe mimo! :D :D

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Shouldn't love be pleasing to all the senses? All the six senses? Shouldn't the eyes as well as the heart find pleasure in the person?

 

Hahahahah! This one you have just described is 'sex' o.... not my area of specialisation. Teejay shall guide you accordingly. You should have just said from the get go that it was sex that troubled you so :P

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Hahahahahahaha! You are a clown. Open your heart to Him and accept him. This is the perfect season. I would not entertain anymore questions till you do the needful. *puts on white garment; ready with candles and broomsticks in hand* :D/>

 

Oya, Bere mole ko kigbe mimo! :D/> :D/>

 

Hahahahaha! Is that all? Won't I bring drums as well as chicken and lizard tail and white chalk and brain-wash liquid?? :D

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