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Ever think about marriage?


Alexis88

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If societal and familial pressure ever got overwhelming, would you give in and marry a boy? Or would you defy everyone, move abroad and marry your girl? Do you have or do you ever think you could have a love that consuming?

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Hmmm... that was the person I thought I would end up being. Married to a boy or 'run' abroad.

 

Thankfully, I've gotten more sensible.lol. None of the above Miss. When that time comes, I'd do it without running and in a very stylish manner by God's grace. Nothing's planned with regards to details... she'd complete the dream :)

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Hmmm... that was the person I thought I would end up being. Married to a boy or 'run' abroad.

 

Thankfully, I've gotten more sensible.lol. None of the above Miss. When that time comes, I'd do it without running and in a very stylish manner by God's grace. Nothing's planned with regards to details... she'd complete the dream :)/>

 

Do you think Nigeria could ever be not be one of the most homophobic shitstains on the planet? How far into the future are you looking babe? Lol.

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We are a very homophobic people and I blame the centuries of brainwashing. It's a mindset that has stalled all other aspects of development sadly.

 

Slowly but surely, more people would start to release themselves from the strongholds of religion and by then, perhaps, we'd stand a better chance of breaking out of the boxed-in mindsets that permeates the majority.

 

Babe :D, nothing is planned my darling. My heart is the compass. I go where it leads... The more important thing is to relish the journey and at the right time, it would all fall into place. Mwah!

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Babe :D/>, nothing is planned my darling... The more important thing is to relish the journey and at the right time, it would all fall into place.

 

Marry me?

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I'd rather be single than marry a guy. At the moment,.the pressure is mounting from my folks but I'm not even bothered anymore. I took that decision last year that I can't sabotage my own life just to fit in.

I will get married to my girlfriend though in another country where I can have it documented that we are married.

Besides, there is a lot more wrong with Nigeria than its homophobia. There's the economy, the quality of life etc. Those are the other factors that I'd consider before deciding to stay or go...

Might settle back in Nigeria or just explore the world.

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I'd rather be single than marry a guy. At the moment,.the pressure is mounting from my folks but I'm not even bothered anymore. I took that decision last year that I can't sabotage my own life just to fit in.

I will get married to my girlfriend though in another country where I can have it documented that we are married.

Besides, there is a lot more wrong with Nigeria than its homophobia. There's the economy, the quality of life etc. Those are the other factors that I'd consider before deciding to stay or go...

Might settle back in Nigeria or just explore the world.

 

True. Those factors are all key to making a decision.

 

For me, I feel like if i ever had to get married, I'd pick a really smoking hot gay guy so we can be each other's beards. I wouldn't have to 'cheat'on him with my girl and vice versa, my parents would be happy, my (straight) friends would be envious, we'd be under the radar. Everybody wins.

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Now how do you define "winning" now. So you both have your side relationships. I don't know anyone who will be happy being a side chick forever o... Even you sef, you'll want to commit and give yourself fully to that one girl. But you've wasted that on a grand scam to fool your family.

Doesn't sound like much of a win. I thought about that route for myself once. Didn't end well in my head.

 

Also, You know after they are satisfied with the fact that you're married. After 6 months they'll come knocking again asking for when you will get pregnant and it'll go on and on... Once you start living your life for others in that way, it'll never stop...

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First off, she's not gonna be a side chic. HE's gonna be a side husband.

Let's be realistic here.

This is Nigeria, no-one's coming out to their parents...at least I'm not.

This 'grand scam' is just perfect for me because... lemme count the ways:

1. I'd probably be in a serious relationship with an also-not-quite-out femme who understands what the situation is and might even have a similar arrangement.

2. I'd be living with her. Trust me there are ways around it.

***. I work in the image business. I have to constantly leverage how I'm perceived. I'm not about to lose any current or potential clients to my 'straight, married, responsible' competition. If I have to make a few uncomfortable adjustments to an otherwise comfortable life (which is still being lived in the closet by the way), that's what I have to do.

4. A lot of women, even on here, are married to completely straight, oblivious men and still manage to have same-sex relationships..most likely with people who get that things don't happen the way they do in the movies.

5. About the kid thing. That's so not my parents. They'd bring it up a few times but it'd never become a thing.

 

I like that you seem to be out and proud and it's great if that works for you and in your life but it does not work for me. I'm doing pretty well for myself as a 25-year-old business owner even in a shit economy. I'm not about to jeopardize that by telling my business to people who, if you think about it, really don't need to know shit.

 

So yes.. In MY head, everyone does win.

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Fair enough... It's Nigeria, everyone has to find a way to just "get on with it". I get where you're coming from.

On the contrary, I'm not out either actually. I'm out on NL though. :D

 

I don't think I'm gonna "come out" to my family. I used to think that they need to know the real me and blah blah but nah, it's not necessary jare. I'm happy and soon they'll be too bothered with their lives and forget about the unmarried sister .

But I would not marry a guy to please them and put their mind at rest, too many things have happened and life is too short, mehn. I'm giving 110% of me to whoever I'm with, otherwise the relationship won't feel real to me...

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But I would not marry a guy to please them and put their mind at rest, too many things have happened and life is too short, mehn. I'm giving 110% of me to whoever I'm with, otherwise the relationship won't feel real to me...

 

I salute your conviction. Altho, I think I can give 110% of myself emotionally, physically. And if my partner feels that, it doesn't matter if I share a name with someone else. They'd know it's just that.

 

I realize it's a little crazy though. But because I'm someone who seldom feels pressured/influenced, this is basically just my fall-back if it ever got overwhelming or I absolutely had to. It'd be much better than deceiving an innocent straight guy.

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I am honestly too lazy and self centered to do anything for the benefit of anybody. But alas I am Bi (or something like that) so marrying a man isn't really far fetched for me.

And although the beard route is one I have considered very seriously (as an only girl child and with pressure mounting), I'd really hate to make a sham of something as serious and sacred as marriage.

 

The very thought of marriage gives me shivers. Left to me, I wouldn't marry anybody. Let's just be living in sin please :unsure:

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I'm bi as well but I feel like forever would be so much better with a woman. I don't enjoy being taken care of as much as I enjoy doing the care taking. But who knows? Something could change.

Also, I don't think there's anything sacred about marriage anymore...but that's just me.

Cohabitation is bae but you can only convince your folks that she's 'just your roommate'for so long before they put six and nine together.

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Arrrhhh... (sighs and shakes head). So what do we "none-Bisexuals" do now na? I cant even pretend cohabiting is simply cause we are roomies without raising suspicion. Happened before.

I have tried so hard to imagine me getting married to a guy.

-Smiling and dancing with pure joy on my wedding day.

-Waking up on his bed every f***king day.

-Pretending to stare at a lady cause I am admiring her gele, or handbag or dress, when I am mentally ripping off her clothes or just admiring her ass.D

-Doing the wifely duties, including enjoying, or pretending to enjoy sex.

 

How am I ever going to do all that??? Live like that! How??? If the guy doesn't get tired and keep numerous concubines (and may he not contact the unthinkable) or even divorce me, then he must be an Angel without wings.

 

It's either a beard who knows he is a beard, or marrying a job/passion. Can I actually erase all the religious teachings and marry a lady and not feel like I have failed God? Or do I stay single and mingle at will and pray for forgiveness each time?? How do I detach that from my conscience? Maybe exposure would work on my mentality, so, abroad it is.

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Marrying a dude. .I have no choice o...abroad or not..Ain't trading my family for me or ma gurl....

This is definitely constant..never gonna change.

It is what it is...

#shrugs

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I already told my mum I didn't plan on getting married ever. She's assuming it's still youthful exuberance, in any case she knows me bringing a man would legit be a miracle.

 

Personally I think I'd rather remain single, I might be a bit too selfish to want to share my entire life with someone else, male or female but then again I'm just 22 and perhaps my mum is right, youthful exuberance.

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I'm bi as well but I feel like forever would be so much better with a woman. I don't enjoy being taken care of as much as I enjoy doing the care taking. But who knows? Something could change.

Also, I don't think there's anything sacred about marriage anymore...but that's just me.

Cohabitation is bae but you can only convince your folks that she's 'just your roommate'for so long before they put six and nine together.

 

'I don't enjoy being taken care of as much as I enjoy doing the care taking', this is so me. Reason #99 why I doubt I'd marry a guy.

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I am certain of one thing I won't get happiness marrying a guy, so the option for me is to go abroad with bae and get married, the only issh is m weird love for Nigeria buh since we have decided to remain 98percent homophobic I wud ve to go somewhere I can be happy and truly msef.

My parents have started the whole talk abt marriage it's worse wen dey ve nt even hrd any name of "Mr right"

I don't have it all figured out yet tho

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marrying a girl for me would mean walking away from my family, I think I have the most homophobic family and they'll disown me if I ever take that step.

I've resolved to stay single, marrying a guy is not even an option. maybe in the future I'll adopt a kid or something.

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You do realise that your current family will inevitably break up into smaller families of their own. How are you going to hold on then? You should consider looking for a way to have yours. With or without your family. The family you create is more important than the on you're born into IMO

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