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A Feminist Thought to Ponder


kimi

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I enjoy MsAfropolitan's perspective on issues around feminism. Afterall, it is what she is most famous for. Below is her most recent article; I thought to share. Feel free to share your thoughts.

 

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For much of feminist history, the majority of people have distanced themselves from the ideology because it was considered radical. Now, it seems everyone, men and women alike, call themselves a feminist without necessarily actually believing in equal rights because it is considered radical.

 

The internet is largely to thank, or curse, for the flip. It has enabled the sharing of feminism in unprecedented ways, which is good. But it has also made it possible for sexist commentators to write any amount of patriarchal commentary and label it feminist, which is bad. It is a trend that feminists urgently need to counter. The internet is the primary source of information for many people today, and it is worrying how much lies is peddled as feminist with no semblance of accuracy. Nowhere is this as prevalent as in African media, which seems delighted to publish what we can refer to as “fake feminist” opinion articles, where authors are either themselves horrendously misinformed or they take deliberate care to misinform others.

 

For example, in a recent article in The Nigerian Tribune, “On Feminism and African Culture,” the author writes on the one hand that feminists rightly “believe they can have the same rights as men” while arguing on the other hand that since women were created from the rib of man, “A woman should reach her potential but it still does not make her equal to a man.” This is NOT feminism. And nor is it African culture, just to make the record clear. It is Judeo-Christian culture.

 

 Similarly, in a recent clip from an interview with Jumoke Adenowo from the hit series, “King Women,” Adenowo says that, “To be a submissive woman, first be powerful.” Although the message is coming from an admirable source, it is nevertheless a faulty one, akin to saying; to be unhappy first be happy; or to be poor first be rich; or to be unhealthy first be healthy. Adenowo does not to my knowledge refer to herself as a feminist so this isn’t about her per se. I mention the clip simply as it points to how easily a disempowering message can come across as powerful.

 

The examples are plenty. In a simultaneously staunchly anti-feminist culture, it is ironic that patriarchal messages are being dressed up as feminist. Were it not so misleading, it would almost be satirical that feminism has become so popular in certain circles that people are using it as a label to reinforce sexist biases.

 

Feminists themselves must take some of the blame for this. They have been pandering to “choice feminism,” where anything a woman does is considered feminist so long as it is her so-called choice. Here’s the thing worth remembering though: Women gaining freedom to choose their lifestyle is indeed a feminist victory, but not every lifestyle is feminist because it was chosen by a woman.—

 

Explore her blog here

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Perhaps the reason why this particular post struck was because I had watched the cited 'Jumoke Adenowo's King Women' episode and thought it to be quite profound. Not because of that 'statement' but essentially because I adore (strong) women who against all odds are able to make a name for themselves.

 

I remember being uncertain in thoughts about the 'submission' bit and simply dismissed it as one of the 'little hells' those who get married to men would endure -worse if those men's idea of the institution of marriage and the role of a wife is still at a very primitive stage :D

 

So you couldn't have imagined the smile on my face when I woke to Minna's post. A very interesting argument I thought.

 

Saturday #ramblings

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One of my greatest reads on feminism is "The Manipulated Man" by Esther Vilar. It's a very interesting and controversial view point on Feminism. You should read it if you haven't. There you will understand the meaning of the phrase to be "submissive, to be powerful". Oliver Goldsmith wrote the famous words "She stoops to conquer".

 

Gender inequality still exists and we might not see the end of it but personally I think women are the cause of this inequality not men. It's Mothers in China that killed female Children. It's Mothers in Africa that give a boy to pieces of meat because "he is a man". It's women that don't see anything wrong with a 30 years old unmarried man going for further studies but if a woman of the same age has same ambitions they will say she is too ambitious and she should calm down because her mates are having children. The list goes on and on. But the world is now a *** Dimensional board game and stooping to conquer might be the way to win.

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Interesting perspective there. I will try to get my hands on the book even if an e-copy.

 

Not denying the fact that inequality thrives but it would be unfair to attribute it to the women. Societal pressure bourne by patriarchal structures is what has driven women to these acts. A woman being treated as an outcast or being sent out of her husband's house or being treated as a slave when another who bore sons is treated as a queen by the husband has contributed to why women began to be proactive (in this sense). To avoid a case of the 'fathers' hauling insults at the wives is why they will typically transfer these pressures unto the girl child. The practice of women being easily 'dispensable' which stems from these patriarchal structures is largely to blame in my opinion.

 

Stooping to conquer is all mind games and essentially should not be so. Continuing in that fashion would not improve the inequality neither will it be beneficial to helping the younger ones learn how to influence as an equal. That in itself is the sort of equality being advocated for -to be seen as more than a means to food or sex or a child

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Like I said it's a different and controversial school of thought. To me it's a Chicken and Egg paradox. Which came first? Was it Patriarchal society that made women to always be in a hurry to pull down other women or Women raised men into thinking they are better than women. So who started it?

 

It's just like being racist, leave Children to grow with each other without bias and they befriend each other. But when the care givers (most likely women) come in and force only the girl to do house chores and the boy will be playing ball all day. Then one gender grows up with a sense of entitlement.

Chimamanda in flawless said

"We teach girls to shrink themselves

To make themselves smaller

We say to girls,

"You can have ambition

But not too much

You should aim to be successful

But not too successful""

 

Who does the teaching, my dear friend?

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Hahahaha. That story of how the boy will be playing ball all day cracked me up big time :D

 

Which came first? Truth is, I honestly don't know and that in itself would require a whole lot of research and digging through literature.

 

Perhaps someone familiar with such studies could bail us out

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This is a very interesting discussion. So my question is what exactly is feminism? We need to know what exactly is true feminism before we can decide what counterfeit feminism is.

 

As to Jumoke's talk, she was a delightful watch. Honestly I didn't understand the correlation between power and submission that she gave but oh well. She however said on three (***) different occasions within the interview that she noticed the fine guys around her cause she was straight, and it got me wondering, "Don't queer ladies notice a fine looking guy?".

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Like I said it's a different and controversial school of thought. To me it's a Chicken and Egg paradox. Which came first? Was it Patriarchal society that made women to always be in a hurry to pull down other women or Women raised men into thinking they are better than women. So who started it?

 

It's just like being racist, leave Children to grow with each other without bias and they befriend each other. But when the care givers (most likely women) come in and force only the girl to do house chores and the boy will be playing ball all day. Then one gender grows up with a sense of entitlement.

Chimamanda in flawless said

"We teach girls to shrink themselves

To make themselves smaller

We say to girls,

"You can have ambition

But not too much

You should aim to be successful

But not too successful""

 

Who does the teaching, my dear friend?

 

Flawless or her tedtalk "we should all be feminists". It's now a book too. I have watched two of her tedtalk speeches and I have never read or heard of flawless. Can you send me a link to the ebook or suggest where to get one? I hate not having all her works. :angry:

 

Thanks

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Flawless or her tedtalk "we should all be feminists". It's now a book too. I have watched two of her tedtalk speeches and I have never read or heard of flawless. Can you send me a link to the ebook or suggest where to get one? I hate not having all her works. :angry:/>

 

Thanks

Yea, we are talking about the same thing.

 

The TED talk is now popularly called "Flawless Speech" because it was in Beyonce's song of the same name.

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To me it's a Chicken and Egg paradox. Which came first? Was it Patriarchal society that made women to always be in a hurry to pull down other women or Women raised men into thinking they are better than women. So who started it?

 

I actually think it is less complicated than the chicken-egg paradox. Society has reinforced these roles and for women to have any place, they have to take on the role of the enforcer. It has been widely acknowledged that women are the gatekeepers of patriarchy. We are the ones who shave widow's hairs, insist widows can't marry, insist that boys will be boys and men will always cheat, and propagate polygamy while denouncing polyandry. As far back as people can track, patriarchy came first and the role select women as examples was derived from there.

 

It is why we base their biblical woman on fictional one described in Proverbs 31 instead of actual, existing women in the Bible. No one talks about Hannah, Miriam, Esther, Phoebe or Huldah because those women had agency. But the moment women say pim, they will remind us of the virtuous woman whose sole existence is to compliment and complete a man. Sigh

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I actually think it is less complicated than the chicken-egg paradox. Society has reinforced these roles and for women to have any place, they have to take on the role of the enforcer. It has been widely acknowledged that women are the gatekeepers of patriarchy. We are the ones who shave widow's hairs, insist widows can't marry, insist that boys will be boys and men will always cheat, and propagate polygamy while denouncing polyandry. As far back as people can track, patriarchy came first and the role select women as examples was derived from there.

 

It is why we base their biblical woman on fictional one described in Proverbs 31 instead of actual, existing women in the Bible. No one talks about Hannah, Miriam, Esther, Phoebe or Huldah because those women had agency. But the moment women say pim, they will remind us of the virtuous woman whose sole existence is to compliment and complete a man. Sigh

Hat tip my lady.

 

Anyway education is the easy solution to this menace. I guess that's why in some climes female education is still frowned upon. Because the enforcers of patriarchy are reducing in number. Someone told me some time back that in her village they don't shave the hair of widows that are educated cus those ones have kicked against it. It's the uneducated women that still get treated that way. (More like payback really).

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