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FlyJ

Lady Slaps Her Partner Repeatedly For Cheating

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Hawken    51
Hawken

Actually, i agree with Grey. Not the part about the abused deserving what she got (nobody deserves to be treated like that) but the logic behind the train of thought. Cheating is a decision and when you make a decision that causes another person pain, you cannot in anyway dictate how they react.

 

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scarlet    20
scarlet
16 hours ago, Irisa said:

You seem very much to me like a hurting person. Put a smile on your face. You won't be here forever. 

Wow.

how lame.

Calling me ''hurting'' for being unbiased in my judgement between two abused persons is equivalent to calling a gay activist "gay'' for supporting gay right. get the picture? lol

sadly enough, this right here is evident that our academic system has failed tremendously in teaching students the tenets of logical reasoning which you seem to lack immensely.

so, no hun. I'm not ''hurting'' far from that sef. unlike you  i chose  not to be bias, or let sentiments cloud my judgement.

I'm done. you're not worth  the  muscle.  consider yourself ignored.       

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Iris    35
Iris
11 hours ago, grey said:

Wow.

how lame.

Calling me ''hurting'' for being unbiased in my judgement between two abused persons is equivalent to calling a gay activist "gay'' for supporting gay right. get the picture? lol

sadly enough, this right here is evident that our academic system has failed tremendously in teaching students the tenets of logical reasoning which you seem to lack immensely.

so, no hun. I'm not ''hurting'' far from that sef. unlike you  i chose  not to be bias, or let sentiments cloud my judgement.

I'm done. you're not worth  the  muscle.  consider yourself ignored.       

An awful lot of trouble for so little satisfaction! Smh. 

There's no logic in what you tendered up there. You're just as dumb as the one who taught you to reason that way. Free yourself from unfortunate associations. Lotta good it'd do you.

You are what you think and that cruel statement of yours is a reflection of who you are - a bitter, broken person. The only way to get over this distressing infirmity is to learn to love yourself so that you don't be at the whim of others. Raising your fist is creepy. Walking away is strength.

But if you want to insist going physical is the way, then you're no better than the girl in the video. Nobody wants to be with a waif. 

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kimi    119
kimi

This thread is gradually becoming a shadow of itself and a semblance of what it ought not -the very thing it is advocating against. 

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Suavity    41
Suavity

Violence is bad no matter what good we think is going to result to, we should not condone it in anyway

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dreamgal    28
dreamgal

If she cheats and you cannot cope, break up. Relationship is not by force.

Violence is never the answer, there's no justification. 

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FlyJ    138
FlyJ
On 05/08/2017 at 9:07 AM, dreamgal said:

If she cheats and you cannot cope, break up. Relationship is not by force.

Violence is never the answer, there's no justification. 

Absolutely @dreamgal no justification @ all.

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dequeen    41
dequeen

Some people will bring out the abuser in you by fire by force. Just pray your path never crosses such peoples path.

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kimi    119
kimi
5 minutes ago, dequeen said:

Some people will bring out the abuser in you by fire by force. Just pray your path never crosses such peoples path.

Hahahaha. I have heard this happen before. Best to just walk when your path crosses such. They are never worth it.

My general rule for relationships is: if she doesn't inspire in you the will to be a better person but rather makes you a shadow of yourself, walk! Run very quickly away! Lol. 

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dequeen    41
dequeen
11 minutes ago, kimi said:

Hahahaha. I have heard this happen before. Best to just walk when your path crosses such. They are never worth it.

My general rule for relationships is: if she doesn't inspire in you the will to be a better person but rather makes you a shadow of yourself, walk! Run very quickly away! Lol. 

true

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lala1990    8
lala1990
On Monday, August 07, 2017 at 10:37 PM, kimi said:

Hahahaha. I have heard this happen before. Best to just walk when your path crosses such. They are never worth it.

My general rule for relationships is: if she doesn't inspire in you the will to be a better person but rather makes you a shadow of yourself, walk! Run very quickly away! Lol. 

Not that easy o. For some women you can die on the line.

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Althena    40
Althena
On 8/7/2017 at 10:29 PM, dequeen said:

Some people will bring out the abuser in you by fire by force. Just pray your path never crosses such peoples path.

This sounds a lot like "Look what you made me do". No, if there is an abuser in you, yes it will show, and that is 100% YOUR fault. There's absolutely no way someone else is to blame for your actions, let's stop victim blaming and unconsciously rationalizing violence 

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Althena    40
Althena
On 8/***/2017 at ***:28 PM, scarlet said:

you do know dating abuse varies? right?

just because an abuse is emotional doesn't make it any less of an abuse.  the ''abuse'' emotional violated the ''abuser'' , while the latter physically abused the former.  to be  clear here  i do not condone abuse/violence heedless of the form.when i made  that statement i only inferred to the obvious fact that the ''the abused'' incited whatever unfavorable condition meted to her, maybe it come out wrongly,  and if you read my post again you'd see where i down rightly condemned how the ''abuser'' retaliated. ensuing my statement to that of rape is quite implausible. because being poorly dressed do not inflict pain, or cause harm to anyone but cheated on: on the other hand has an insidious ability to cause pain, it might not be visible cos its all psychological but it does. and fact the everyone seamlessly condemned the latter and ignored the former eludes me.  both of them are wrong.  

@scarlet I find it very weird that you put abuse and abuser in quotation marks. We all watched the video, one person perpetrated violence against the other, there is clearly an abused, and an abuser.

Secondly, I hear you about emotional abuse, but that is still not an excuse to physically assault someone. And the abuser bringing her friend to witness and record the abuse shows an even deeper level of maliciousness. 

We can't stand on the sidelines and say someone who was abused 'incited' the abuse. I've had people cheat on me, I didn't beat them. Many people here have been cheated on, they didn't beat said partners. It is not because we have 2 heads oh. Violence is bad, period. Abusers have been hiding behind provocation (she was flirting with my friend, she didn't cook on time, she is cheating on me, she disrespects me) and we cannot keep letting that happen. Let alone on a domestic violence thread.

I'd ask you to reconsider your stand, and imagine how someone who has been a victim of abuse would have felt when she read your post; reiterating to her that maybe her abuser was right; she probably deserved to be beaten. That is not the kind of community we want is it?

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scarlet    20
scarlet
4 hours ago, Althena said:

@scarlet I find it very weird that you put abuse and abuser in quotation marks. We all watched the video, one person perpetrated violence against the other, there is clearly an abused, and an abuser.

Secondly, I hear you about emotional abuse, but that is still not an excuse to physically assault someone. And the abuser bringing her friend to witness and record the abuse shows an even deeper level of maliciousness. 

We can't stand on the sidelines and say someone who were abused 'incited' the abuse. I've had people cheat on me, I didn't beat them. Many people here have been cheated on, they didn't beat said partners. It is not because we have 2 heads oh. Violence is bad, period. Abusers have been hiding behind provocation (she was flirting with my friend, she didn't cook on time, she is cheating on me, she disrespects me) and we cannot keep letting that happen. Let alone on a domestic violence thread.

I'd ask you to reconsider your stand, and imagine how someone who has been a victim of abuse would have felt when she read your post; reiterating to her that maybe her abuser was right; she probably deserved to be beaten. That is not the kind of community we want is it?

Many people have cheated on  their partners I hear you say, and yes people varies and how they choose to response to particular certain circumstances differs greatly too.

Some persons might choose to walk away, which I strongly encourage and I had rightly stated that in my previous post. When it comes to abuse, I take it serious  heedless of the form.  having it  in mind that an emotional abuse could as well be as traumatic as physical abuse. Both are hideous and should not be taken lightly. Just as physically assaulting one because of they had  hurts us is inhuman and unreasonably insensitive, like wise toying with  the heart of a human person which is fragile and too delicate, is also  like murder because some "persons" never comes out of that trauma alive. Had the abuse not cheated and chosen to walk away,  non of what had happened  would . you should  know that,  there's a discrepancy between a premeditated assault and an assault out of retaliation. Note there was a causality here, which wasn't out of provocation like you had suggested but of fervid violation. Which  I strongly disapprove of either. 

Okay , Lemme paint a picture.. I recently read in the news where a man killed is cheating spouse in bayelsa, and  also another who had committed suicide because his spouse not only cheated on him but had also eloped with his best  friend in Lagos.. Now this is  quintessential of how two people could react differently in the same circumstances. Which either of us  have no control whatsoever over. But Would you have blame the "the suicide dude for not having the bravery to walk because he was merely cheated on? Typically he didn't have the heart to bear lose, so he'd choose the easy way out.

I never condone violence. Nor did I say the abuser did Good.  I only and STILL insinuate how intermittently both had hurt each other..  What if the (girl whose girlfriend had cheated on decided to kill her self rather than walk away? I had had a friend who took overdose just because he found out his bae was doing it with a colleague. 

I stand against physical assault, just as I would too against emotional assault. and I'm unapologetic about this opinion.

 

Edited by scarlet

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Hawken    51
Hawken

You do not hit your partner no matter the provocation. That's the standard and we are all held to it. However, I agree that you cannot dictate the next persons reaction after you hurt them. But if they decide to go the way of violence, they deserve all the bad press and more that they'll get.

The suicide is an entirely different thing. I think a person who takes their life because their partner cheated was already suicidal. Another unfortunate event could easily have triggered it.

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Althena    40
Althena
On 9/8/2017 at 0:16 PM, scarlet said:

Some persons might choose to walk away, which I strongly encourage and I had rightly stated that in my previous post. When it comes to abuse, I take it serious  heedless of the form.  having it  in mind that an emotional abuse could as well be as traumatic as physical abuse. Both are hideous and should not be taken lightly. Just as physically assaulting one because of they had  hurts us is inhuman and unreasonably insensitive, like wise toying with  the heart of a human person which is fragile and too delicate, is also  like murder because some "persons" never comes out of that trauma alive.

I never condone violence. Nor did I say the abuser did Good.  I only and STILL insinuate how intermittently both had hurt each other..  What if the (girl whose girlfriend had cheated on decided to kill her self rather than walk away? I had had a friend who took overdose just because he found out his bae was doing it with a colleague. 

I stand against physical assault, just as I would too against emotional assault. and I'm unapologetic about this opinion.

 

Hawkeen has already spoken on the suicide so I wouldn't drag us back to that.

Again, I hear you. We all agree that emotional and physical abuse are both bad. No one disagrees. My main point is that it is unacceptable to respond to cheating with physical abuse. No matter the amount of prior lying or gaslighting involved. If we start to say people incited, deserved or provoked violence, we are crossing many lines and I think that is a slippery slope. We can stand against both, without a caveat 

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