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Sex Work is Work


Althena

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@Charlie , we are not looking down on them. Like i said, i just wish they would do something else. My problem however is with people who want us to make it an acceptable path to tread.

Btw, if you do the research, you will find out that a lot of prostitutes in countries were prostitution is legal are victims of trafficking.

Talking about last resorts, why aren't there more male prostitutes on the streets? Don't men go just as broke or desperate for money? Society has made prostitution an acceptable means of survival for women because, lesser beings. Women have been traded and treated like goods for way too long, making it legal simply makes it easier for it to continue.

@vina

1)Let me agree that for some women it is a power trip, a hobby (must be knitting) but really, how many % of prostitutes are in the business for power trips? 1%? 2%? Maybe 5%? Lets say 10! Should we then overlook the remaining 90% because of them?

2) LOL prostitutes go raw all the time. They just charge you extra. How do you think they get HIV? And other STDs?

***) A lot of those girls from well off families that prostitute do so because, greed. And the immense pressure to keep up. Show off. Slay. Show that they have arrived. All still economic reasons. PS a rich man, is afraid of poverty than a poor man.

While i agree that we could possibly never rid this world of prostitution can we could at least try? Give it our best? Let the proper authorities know that we will not tolerate it? Because so long as prostitution thrives in our society, human trafficking (little girls, boys, taken from their homes before they even know what their sexual organs are for) will always be an issue.

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Personally I think it takes a lot of bravery to charge for something really exciting or sacred. What I don't like about sex and currency, is that there's no assurance about it being enjoyable. So even as the payer,it has barely any 'value'. Except u pay for certain tricks or benefits. (Topic for another day). All in all I just think its really unnecessary, but to those who pave that oath, I respect your hustle. Not my first choice at a crossroad but I guess its helped many girls sort their lives out and others dwindle further one job at a time....😓😓

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  • 3 months later...
On 9/8/2017 at 9:02 AM, Althena said:

So my question is this: why do a lot of us look down on sex work? Is it because we have been taught by religion, society and our peers to think of it that way, or is it because we somehow on our own thought it through and decided it was unacceptable. I'm asking cos it took me a while to change my mind too

As for  me, being a very liberal Christian,  I see absolutely nothing wrong with sex work (prostitution). 

Although sex work is bad only when you look at it within the context of religion and tradition because our society is one soaked and baked with religion and traditional values.

I guess society and religion plays an active role, when it comes to shaping people's outlook towards certain things. 

So, imagine the average Nigerian who was brought up according to the guiding morals and values of religion or tradition, hence the stereotyped view and condemnation of sex work, seeing it as bad and evil.  Which ought not to be. 

Be that as it may,  there are still many Nigerians who condemns sex work and also patronise sex workers.  I know a few.  It's the standard hypocritical attitude usually associated with particularly religion, and the general populace.

People should be allowed to be who they are without being judged.

 

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Sex work is work. If people decide that they want to have sex for money and someone decides to pay for sex, all I see are two consensual adults doing business. 

People that arent pro-prostitution will say it is degrading but degrading to who. If an adult has made a conscious decision to have sex for money.

Yes it is unfathomable to a lot of us why people will choose to earn cash that way, but if an adult decides that is the way to go, then thats their business.

I think half of the safety issues associated with prostitution will be curtailed if it were legal. 

Legalise it and tax the hell out of it.

This profession isnt going anywhere. 

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Perhaps because sex work is not good for health.. Sleeping indiscriminately with people whether paid(as in prostitution) or not paid has never been any good. You could die anytime from diseases..very risky. Even though it might not reduce your worth still many people have a hard time agreeing to that.. Doesn't have to have anything to do with religion, it's just a basic moral fact inside of all of us.. sex work doesn't devalue you but it doesn't make you any better.. Only lazy people do it, fast money eh.. There are other things they can actually do for money and still retain a good conscience, for those who have any.. Not to talk of the effect it'd have on a relationship. How many among us can actually have a longterm relationship or marriage with a prostitute.. The thought of someone else sleeping with your lover is enough to drive many wild with jealousy.. Just my thoughts.

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  • 1 month later...
On 4/23/2018 at 5:41 PM, DipBluSae said:

Perhaps because sex work is not good for health.. Sleeping indiscriminately with people whether paid(as in prostitution) or not paid has never been any good. You could die anytime from diseases..very risky. Even though it might not reduce your worth still many people have a hard time agreeing to that.. Doesn't have to have anything to do with religion, it's just a basic moral fact inside of all of us.. sex work doesn't devalue you but it doesn't make you any better.. Only lazy people do it, fast money eh.. There are other things they can actually do for money and still retain a good conscience, for those who have any.. Not to talk of the effect it'd have on a relationship. How many among us can actually have a longterm relationship or marriage with a prostitute.. The thought of someone else sleeping with your lover is enough to drive many wild with jealousy.. Just my thoughts.

Then again, who determines what is an indiscriminate number of people to sleep with? And I think it is quite naive of you to say only lazy people engage in sex work, especially in a world where women are denied education, skills, ability, tools, and the only currency left for them to trade with is sex...

Not to mention how you are reaching by saying it is a "moral fact inside all of us...there are things they can actually do for money and still retain a good conscience, for those who have any". Just wow! I know a lot of people who have traded sex for money, for favors, for a ring, for a roof over their heads, for food in their bellies and they still have a good conscience so that line is uncalled for. Just wow. In fact, let's play a game by substituting prostitution for homosexuality and maybe you may see differently?

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Perhaps because lesbianism and bisexuality is not good for health.. Sleeping indiscriminately with girls whether paid or not paid has never been any good. You could die anytime from diseases..very risky. Even though it might not reduce your worth still many people have a hard time agreeing to that.. Doesn't have to have anything to do with religion, it's just a basic moral fact inside of all of us.. lesbianism or bisexuality doesn't devalue you but it doesn't make you any better.. Only imoral people do it, fast pleasure eh.. There are other things they can actually do, like pretend to marry a man and still retain a good conscience, for those who have any.. Not to talk of the effect it'd have on a relationship. How many among us can actually have a longterm relationship or marriage with a lesbian or bisexual.. The thought of someone of the same sex sleeping with your lover is enough to drive many wild with jealousy.. Just my thoughts.

 

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Just now, Althena said:

Then again, who determines what is an indiscriminate number of people to sleep with? And I think it is quite naive of you to say only lazy people engage in sex work, especially in a world where women are denied education, skills, ability, tools, and the only currency left for them to trade with is sex...

Not to mention how you are reaching by saying it is a "moral fact inside all of us...there are things they can actually do for money and still retain a good conscience, for those who have any". Just wow! I know a lot of people who have traded sex for money, for favors, for a ring, for a roof over their heads, for food in their bellies and they still have a good conscience so that line is uncalled for. Just wow. In fact, let's play a game by substituting prostitution for homosexuality and maybe you may see differently?

 

Tbh I am so tired. Can't even read that thing up there now.. but don't get mad, it's an opinion that am entitled to.

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It's been ages since I revisited this thread and wow, so many opinions! Some that I would like to question again so bear with me...

@Hawken its their business last last doesnt make it okay. Its their business last last also applies to people who cut themselves, people who abuse drugs and alcohol, people who stay in abusive relationships/friendships, people who worship at churches where they are told to eat grass, etc. Does it make it okay? Will its their business last last stop you from trying to help the above people? The same why that straight people try to 'help us' by taking us to conversion camps or criminalize us? Abi last last isn't that what we say of sexuality? That is is our business and as consenting adults we should be allowed to fall in love and sleep with who we want?

@Hawken There is nothing healthy or safe, there is absolutely nothing good about prostitution! Where due to prostitution the average woman is seen merely as an object for men's pleasure Except that it pays school fees, pays hospital bills, puts roofs over heads, foods in bellies. And BeHoly is sex work, yet they have found ways and standards to keep it healthy and safe yes? And sex work is not a gendered trade, everyone sells sex! There are just more women selling sex because men have more education, and opportunities to find other skill-less work. And lastly Men see women as objects not because of sex work but because of the whole enshrined and institutionalized system called patriarchy...

@bluelion  Well, I have been taught by religion that our bodies are the temple of the Lord...I see engaging in any sexual activity for anything apart from LOVE as cheap and dirty. We have also been taught that anything except virginal/vaginal, missionary sex, within heterosexual monogamous, with one partner till death do us part, for the main purpose of recreation is dirty and sinful. Do you feel sex before marriage, divorce, oral sex, homosexuality are cheap and dirty too?

@jenny1403 HIV issssaaa reality prostitution isn't the main way HIV is passed. Unsafe niddles, not getting tested, having sex under false premises, that's how we do it. Ask the married women and gay men, who aren't the biggest sellers/buyers of sex to tell you how they got infected... also, #StopTheStigma

@kimi Aren't there other means of making money? -even if such entail selling pure water on the streets.  For people like you and I who have skills, education, connections, start up capital and opportunities it seems there are many ways. For plenty people, sex work is the most viable for the issues at hand. And others just choose it, because they can...

😢😢😢😢😢

Looking at many of the things written on this thread is very disheartening to be honest. So many arguments here are the same that homophobes and religious fundamentalists use against us. "Dirty, sinful, morally wrong, end of the world, destruction of society as we know it" etc... I started this thread with a question, and I am now left wondering if we want freedoms and protections for others as we want for ourselves

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@Althena

"The same why that straight people try to 'help us' by taking us to conversion camps or criminalize us?"  You can't compare these two. One is a choice (minus trafficking),the other isn't.

"There are just more women selling sex because men have more education, and opportunities to find other skill-less work."  While I agree with your statement, do you really think the solution to that is to encourage women to take up prostitution? What glass ceilings are women going to break in prostitution? How does encouraging or supporting prostitution help the girl child? Take away the alleged last resort of prostitution and see what happens. I assure you, these prostitutes are not going to drop dead.  

"And lastly Men see women as objects not because of sex work but because of the whole enshrined and institutionalized system called patriarchy..." And i suppose that women selling their bodies to the custodians of said patriarchy is exactly what we need to fix the system?

I know you know that in most business transactions, the person with the money calls the shots. He/she person has the power. Once you sell yourself to anybody, you are no longer equals, forget it. It is the same even in organized corporations. So it always surprises me when i see feminists who are #proprostitution. Like in what universe do you expect equality and respect from a gender that believes they can buy you? Mostly in a society like ours where even educated men believe every woman has a price.

"For plenty people, sex work is the most viable for the issues at hand. And others just choose it, because they can..." Well since they can, let them realize that every job has it hazards/risks. Prostitution will not be any different. Stigma, ostracization, disrespect, std, abuse and even death are the risks that come with prostitution (maybe that will change in another 100 years, feel free to hope). If they don't like the listed, they should consider a career change. Its really not that difficult.

I understand that sex is an integral part of human nature and well prostitution is a trade that just will not go away. So since we can't get rid of it, might as well make it safer for them right?

Well, wrong!!!! Human nature will find another way. Human nature will adapt.

Also, my opinion is aimed solely at women who choose to become prostitutes. I refuse to support or defend a decision that increases the chances of me being disrespected or discriminated against (amongst other things) just because i am a woman. For example, there are several establishments at which i will be denied entry unless i go with a man (and you know i don't fucx with men 😒) simply because of your decision. So nope, prostitution will always be a no for me.

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I wonder how longer it took us to utter the word “sex” right. Some of our parents talked about sex (they didn’t even call it by it’s name sometimes. It’s “been with a man” “sleep with...” Sleep with... how about having sex standing?). And so we have mostly grown to give sex a veery special place. 

   It’s the sex homophobic people imagine when they see or hear of two consenting adults coming together to make love... or kwash, bang, straff. You name it. 

 And so it is the sex we see when we hear or see “sex worker” we imagine how “wrong” it is and forget these adult person(s) own their bodies and have a right as to what they choose or choose not to do with it. 

Ashawo na work abeg. It takes lots of courage to give their bodies to multiple persons while trying to be detached. Takes a lot. They deserve some accolades, and respect. Maybe then they won’t indulge in self-destructive habits and seek medical and legal aids more? 

Just saying... 

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