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Althena

Sex Work is Work

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Althena    40
Althena

So, I have read a few posts today and I see how we look down on runs girls and people who have sex for money. For me, I know sex is a currency and many people (men, women, trans people) have sex for money. Be it sugar mummy/daddy, be it standing on the street, be it well to do GF in university that you don't love, sex work takes many different ways and forms. And for LGBT people, it is even more common because we have to leave our homes to cities where we can be far from those who know us to be able to find love. When we get to Lagos, Calabar, PH and Abuja, our options are limited until we somehow find commodities to trade, many times our bodies.Many people clean houses, other people sell clothes in madam's shop, many people do different hustles while selling sex on the side.

So my question is this: why do a lot of us look down on sex work? Is it because we have been thought by religion, society and our peers to think of it that way, or is it because we somehow on our own thought it through and decided it was unacceptable. I'm asking cos it took me a while to change my mind too

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vina    50
vina

I have learnt to respect everybody's hustle. 

 

What you do does not really affect me and I never judge anybody. I have friends who do runs and I meet girls who even live in brothels and we communicate normal. They are simple people just trying to survive and I understand that. 

 

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Suavity    41
Suavity

Because exploitation is a negative and counterproductive transaction to engage in. 
Because people's bodies belong to themselves and those they choose to share it with (without need to earn income being the driving force)
Because your heart, soul, mind, spirit... Whatever you call them ... Are important and can be damaged through love-less sex. 
Because people are judgemental. 
Because people believe it is a confession of loneliness, or the inability to be found desirable. 
Because when you pay, you remove the desire, love,  romance, connection element which is what we humans crave. 
Because there is potential for violence and danger in this scenario. 
Because often the "paid" party is not really willing
Because sometimes other more nefarious activities are involved - drug reliance, alcoholism, people trafficking, underage sex. 
Because it is considered illegal and therefore not legislated. 
Because it involves one person taking (temporary) possession of another person's actions and body, for their own pleasure. 
Because even though the person being paid (prostitute, escort, hooker, rent-boy) might pretend to like it, there is no real equality or meeting of souls when money is involved.

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Suavity    41
Suavity

I do respect people's decision and believe every one should never be judged with what they do with their life

#TeamLiberal#

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kimi    119
kimi

So here is the first unpopular opinion on this subject matter:

Truth is -as I have stated on my about me -I am learning to love more and judge less. Sadly, I am still..WIP :597f824b9bcf2_tw_blush1:

That said, I won't say I look down. I simply can't wrap my head around it. Not because I am not sensitive to their specific circumatances or preferences, I tend to come down hard when it involves parties that aren't aware they are each being played. 

Secondly, unlike most other vocations which tend to be external to the body, sex work is rather personal -involving clients fishing in deep waters. Lol. I  think it dirty to have such levels of relations with multiple people.  This thought is more a result of my values than anything else I would like to think.

Truth is, at the end if day, even if I disapprove of something of this nature, my opinions are kept to self because there is always so much more that lies beneath the surface that I do not know and more than anything else, my heart often goes out to them when I read of such stories (because  my head simply refuses to accept that not all are engaging in sex work because they are somewhat disadvantaged). 

 

 

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bluelion    4
bluelion

Well, I have been taught by religion that our bodies are the temple of the Lord. I have also been taught that any hustle that would make you trade your dignity and self-worth for money isn't always worth it at the end. On the flip side, I have also learnt that members of our society mostly decide on things based on other people's values not minding that such decisions (which are formed mostly by individual sentiments) need correction.

 Thinking about it, I frown on sex work for some personal reasons. 

Yes, I know a person truly has sovereignty on making decisions regarding their person and whatever they decide to do with their bodies should basically be their business. I also know that since people are allowed to trade their minds, skills, talents and bodies (for instance, models) for gains, why should a person who is intellectually capable and knowledgeable enough to make decisions be despised for wanting to use their body to earn money? Well, my reasons are not far fetched.

 I see engaging in any sexual activity for anything apart from LOVE as cheap and dirty. Why should a naira value be placed on what is meant to be an act of intimacy? 

I also see it to be infuriating that most persons in this line of work engage in other vices to 'enhance' their job. Such vices include drug or alcohol abuse, stealing and the likes which come back to haunt our society.

 More pathetic is the fact that most persons in the job do not draw a line between 'working -for -survival' and exploiting others or being violent to women and children. 

In as much as I apologize if I'm sounding judgmental, I still can't fathom why a person (wonderfully and beautifully made) should be turned to a product or commodity to be bought or sold at another's leisure all because of poverty, greed, sexual harassment, memories of rape or the likes.

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Farida    23
Farida
On 9/8/2017 at 11:01 AM, Suavity said:

Because exploitation is a negative and counterproductive transaction to engage in. 
Because people's bodies belong to themselves and those they choose to share it with (without need to earn income being the driving force)
Because your heart, soul, mind, spirit... Whatever you call them ... Are important and can be damaged through love-less sex. 
Because people are judgemental. 
Because people believe it is a confession of loneliness, or the inability to be found desirable. 
Because when you pay, you remove the desire, love,  romance, connection element which is what we humans crave. 
Because there is potential for violence and danger in this scenario. 
Because often the "paid" party is not really willing
Because sometimes other more nefarious activities are involved - drug reliance, alcoholism, people trafficking, underage sex. 
Because it is considered illegal and therefore not legislated. 
Because it involves one person taking (temporary) possession of another person's actions and body, for their own pleasure. 
Because even though the person being paid (prostitute, escort, hooker, rent-boy) might pretend to like it, there is no real equality or meeting of souls when money is involved.

These your points are weak and thus highly debatable and No I won't bring it ON. But generally, i'd like to say that it is a form of trade for them. So be it that they are enjoying it or nah last last na their business. But if you insist I engage you please let me know and i'll deal with the points one after the other as you've presented them. 

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Jenny1403    34
Jenny1403

Sheer thrash....SeX work no be work raaraa oo

Na time bomb which must explode one day 

HIV issssaaa reality. 

 

 

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Suavity    41
Suavity
9 hours ago, Farida said:

These your points are weak and thus highly debatable and No I won't bring it ON. But generally, i'd like to say that it is a form of trade for them. So be it that they are enjoying it or nah last last na their business. But if you insist I engage you please let me know and i'll deal with the points one after the other as you've presented them. 

Bring it on..... 

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Althena    40
Althena
On 9/10/2017 at 0:32 PM, Jenny1403 said:

Sheer thrash....SeX work no be work raaraa oo

Na time bomb which must explode one day 

HIV issssaaa reality. 

 

 

Lol, isn't that a rather simplistic way of looking at things?

One would think only sex leads to HIV or that people who engage in sex work don't use protection.

Anyways, I do like that we all have opinions about this, I am simply asking us to think about where these feelings are founded upon. Like @Kimi and @bluelion who broke down what they feel and why they feel so...makes us all more learned by looking at the issue from someone else's point of view no? 

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Jenny1403    34
Jenny1403
On 12/09/2017 at 5:16 PM, Althena said:

Lol, isn't that a rather simplistic way of looking at things?

One would think only sex leads to HIV or that people who engage in sex work don't use protection.

Anyways, I do like that we all have opinions about this, I am simply asking us to think about where these feelings are founded upon. Like @Kimi and @bluelion who broke down what they feel and why they feel so...makes us all more learned by looking at the issue from someone else's point of view no? 

@althena. ...I am not having this argument.

Sex work is no work please eeh. ...Thank you. 

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Hawken    51
Hawken

Forget tradition, religion and etc, your body is the only thing that is truly yours, it deserves some respect. And love!

Farida, its their business last last doesnt make it okay. Its their business last last also applies to people who cut themselves, people who abuse drugs and alcohol, people who stay in abusive relationships/friendships, people who worship at churches where they are told to eat grass, etc. Does it make it okay? Will its their business last last stop you from trying to help the above people?

Having said that, I don't look down on runs girls. I don't know their story. I just wish they would do something else.

PS prostitution is slave trade. That they are the ones selling themselves doesn't make it any better.

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Hawken    51
Hawken

There is nothing healthy or safe, there is absolutely nothing good about prostitution! I am sure we will be hard pressed to find anybody here who will sign their 18year old daughters up for "How To Be A Good Prostitute" or "The Good Prostitute-- How To Please Your Customers".

Let us not encourage evil in the name of acceptance. Or even worse, to seem woke.

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kimi    119
kimi
1 hour ago, Hawken said:

Let us not encourage evil in the name of acceptance. Or even worse, to seem woke.

I like this.

Funny thing is I had thoughts along this line yesterday on a completely different issue entirely. It seems like the lines are getting blurred. Even I am these days a bit too accepting. I often wonder and struggle with thoughts regarding when the lines should be drawn. The blacks and whites are giving way to a myriad of greys it seems... 

My point? None in particular. Just thinking out loud. 

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Hawken    51
Hawken

This issue is very dear to me as I dream of a world without prostitution. So please, can any pro prostitutionist explain to me how they expect respect and equality to thrive in a society where women can be bought for use? Where due to prostitution the average woman is seen merely as an object for men's pleasure? Where men now think every woman has a price tag, you just have to keep trying.

See, prostitution is the worst thing that has happened to womanity.

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vina    50
vina

Abeggi let us drop sentiments. One person sells sex, the other has sex with anybody in skirt or trousers for free. Same damn thing.

 

Any sex outside Marriage is illegal and generally frowned upon. Some people don't sell sex but they're low-key hoes. let's not judge others because we sin differently.

A consenting adult should be able to decide for him or herself. 

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Hawken    51
Hawken
12 minutes ago, kimi said:

I like this.

Funny thing is I had thoughts along this line yesterday on a completely different issue entirely. It seems like the lines are getting blurred. Even I am these days a bit too accepting. I often wonder and struggle with thoughts regarding when the lines should be drawn. The blacks and whites are giving way to a myriad of greys it seems... 

My point? None in particular. Just thinking out loud. 

Yes and thats because people are pleading acceptance like the blood of Jesus. There should be a line or else our societies will crumble.

If you can, picture a world without morality, just picture it. Scary right? So f##k that morality is subjective bullshit. We need to start using our morality compass.

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kimi    119
kimi
14 minutes ago, Hawken said:

This issue is very dear to me as I dream of a world without prostitution. So please, can any pro prostitutionist explain to me how they expect respect and equality to thrive in a society where women can be bought for use? Where due to prostitution the average woman is seen merely as an object for men's pleasure? Where men now think every woman has a price tag, you just have to keep trying.

See, prostitution is the worst thing that has happened to womanity.

Awwwh... @ the bolded. I'm loving your thought process and arguements on this subject matter. 

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Hawken    51
Hawken
4 minutes ago, vina said:

Abeggi let us drop sentiments. One person sells sex, the other has sex with anybody in skirt or trousers for free. Same damn thing.

 

Any sex outside Marriage is illegal and generally frowned upon. Some people don't sell sex but they're low-key hoes. let's not judge others because we sin differently.

A consenting adult should be able to decide for him or herself. 

LOL a consenting adult? Consent due to pressure isn't consent. 90% of prostitutes prostitute for economic reasons.

Plus nobody is talking about sinning here. I think everybody has carefully avoided religion for obvious reasons.

And I am pretty sure that been a hoe does not expose me to the risks that prostitution does.

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Hawken    51
Hawken

This is ultimately sad but funny to me because I know it isn't about choice or freedom or acceptance even but about survival. However, George Lorimer said "It is good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it is good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy."

Peace.

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vina    50
vina
11 hours ago, Hawken said:

LOL a co N. hC nsenting a adul.t? Cons. ent due to pressure isn't consent. 90% of prostitutes prostitute for economic reasons.

Plus nobody is talking about sinning here. I think everybody has carefully avoided religion for obvious reasons.

And I am pretty sure that been a hoe does not expose me to the risks that prostitution does.

 Bae, I know some chics from well to do families that do runs.  For some it's a choice, a hobby, it's what they love. They get power from selling sex. It's about fun, the fast life.

 

Some girls in the name of dating And love have unprotected sex but prostitutes never do that. Some girls as a result of stupidity have had Numerous Abortions For men who lied and told them they love them but a ReaL call Girl doesn't fall For crAP.

Ultimately Life itself is risky. Virgins Nd Good girls contract diseases every day.

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Charlie    3
Charlie

I believe prostitution is the response to the demand for sex. If the demand wasn't there, there would be no prostitution. The main problem is making it legal so that sex workers can be safe, safe enough to report none paying customers and safe enough to report any sort of abuse. In countries where sex work is legal, rape and the likes are less rampant because the perpetrators do face charges.

I would never judge and I hope I'm never in a situation where that's my last resort however that's not the same for many people, which ever way people decide to make money, as long as it's safe and consensual,  I have no qualms with it. 

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kimi    119
kimi
18 minutes ago, Charlie said:

...where that's my last resort

Is this really valid?  -that prostitution can be a last resort for the disadvantaged. Aren't there other means of making money? -even if such entail selling pure water on the streets. 

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Charlie    3
Charlie

Haha, as I said, people  tend to do different things for money and this is just one of the options. I know of people who do 'runs' and have serious partners so they do see it as what it is, a means to get money. It might not be your choice of hustle but I wouldn't look down on people who choose it  its up to us to make it legal and safe for them. 

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kimi    119
kimi
5 minutes ago, Charlie said:

Haha, as I said, people  tend to do different things for money and this is just one of the options. I know of people who do 'runs' and have serious partners so they do see it as what it is, a means to get money. It might not be your choice of hustle but I wouldn't look down on people who choose it  its up to us to make it legal and safe for them. 

Nice counter-argument 

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