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Things That Send the Wrong Message


kimi

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Hey peeps, thought to share my experience of what transpired yesterday with you all.

So... on my way to the mall, I bought a Nigerian flag from one of the guys selling it by the roadside. Right beside him were 2 beggers doing what they know how to do best. I rarely give alms largely because I typically don't like to encourage what I am not in support of (debate for another day). 

To cut the long story short, I bought my flag and paid N200 for it without negotiating it because there was no point in doing so really... As I imagined the mark-up on each couldn't be much. It was at that point the beggers sort of started to plead louder and act more desperate. 

I handed out N500 and got back N300 change in return. On second thought, I handed it all back to the flag guy and asked him to please split it between the 2 beggers. Sighs... I felt like shit 5seconds afterwards.

I felt like rubbish because I could have given the flag guy N100 extra to get himself a drink and made the 2 beggers share the remaining N200. But more importantly, the reason I felt horrible was because I had just conveyed the wrong message to the flag guy.

A message that clearly points out to him that it pays to beg than sweat it out in a trade. ...because if begging can give just about the price of a single item in his stock then what is the point of it all.

I still feel down but at least, lessons learnt.

Do you also have similar experiences when you've emphasized the wrong things unintentionally? Do share.

 

 

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I can totaly relate to this. I do similar thing like this very often only to feel used afterwards.

I volunteered to teach kids in a private school directly opposite my house on Fridays for free (since I don't work on Fridays). Hoping to make an impact on the kids. But then it seems I'm actually helping the owner of the school get richer as he collects school fees and all other fees from the parents of these kids without having to worry over payment for my service. How does me rendering a free service actually reflect/impact on these children.  

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1 hour ago, Gimbiyya said:

I can totaly relate to this. I do similar thing like this very often only to feel used afterwards.

I volunteered to teach kids in a private school directly opposite my house on Fridays for free (since I don't work on Fridays). Hoping to make an impact on the kids. But then it seems I'm actually helping the owner of the school get richer as he collects school fees and all other fees from the parents of these kids without having to worry over payment for my service. How does me rendering a free service actually reflect/impact on these children.  

This is very noble of you.

Have you considered after school tutorials or weekend lessons? That would be free and would certainly give the necessary impact.

To make it effective, ensure it is for difficult subjects or for children struggling with these subjects who would otherwise not have been able to afford these extra classes without your intervention. 

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Yes I've actually considered organizing weekends classes for the less privileged kids in public schools in my area. The problem here is the parents of such kids gives more preference to 'madrasas' (Islamic schools) than such tutorials. As a result only few non Hausa kids turnout. It's crazy here. You'll really want to help while these same people don't even attach importance to the problem you're trying to solve. 

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4 hours ago, Gimbiyya said:

You'll really want to help while these same people don't even attach importance to the problem you're trying to solve. 

*sighs* it is what it is...

Your best is all you can do. Continue with the few that turn out and try not to be discouraged by the numbers. Impacting one kid at a time is all that counts. 

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I stopped giving alms when I was 18.I Dont see the point. I tip my service providers wen they do a good job. when I see a young person hustling, I buy if I need it and give something to encourage the good work. I refuse to give my hard earned dime to someone who doesn't understand the struggle.

The beggars on my way to work have stopped asking me tey  tey. If u like roll on the ground,  l won't spare a second glance....

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6 hours ago, contessa said:

I stopped giving alms when I was 18.I Dont see the point. I tip my service providers wen they do a good job. when I see a young person hustling, I buy if I need it and give something to encourage the good work. I refuse to give my hard earned dime to someone who doesn't understand the struggle.

The beggars on my way to work have stopped asking me tey  tey. If u like roll on the ground,  l won't spare a second glance....

Wow.....and this is not human.....what if this beggar is badly disabled??.....c'mon #50 won't destroy ur savings would it?? But it will get that beggar a piece of gala to eat

Hello

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@Hephzy: Disability of the body isn't justification enough to beg. Some of the most inspiring  and greatest stories of our time have been of those who struggled all their life with one disability or another

Stephen Hawking is one of my favourites and there are countless others.

Let's call a thing a thing and not encourage mediocrity. Poverty they say is a disability of the mind. These days, I tend to agree... 

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To tell u the truth, I rank prostitutes far above beggars. At least they are hustling and grinding. Theres a sense of pride from earning ur keep. I Dont approve of the trade but then who cares?

Giving alms encourages begging. So what of the child that is forced to follow the disabled about? Do u know he/she is automatically disabled mentally? Its a vicious cycle o! 

No matter how little the work is, do it! Nigerians are very supportive. I personally will patronize a disabled person to encourage his trade. I do wen I have the opportunity cos its amazing to watch their determination.

Where I come from, u learn how to fish if u want to eat fish mbok. Dashing beggars money but u ll haggle, bargain and price for Africa. Abegi!

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I give when i can. If you pass under the bridge at Ikeja, there is always one sick person, or burn victim, or somebody with some football sized tumor.

The ones i don't give are the ones who i see are hale and healthy, or those who contort themselves into ew positions in other to emphasize their disabilities. The latter pisses me off because they are obviously just trying to exploit our good human nature. So i harden my heart like pharaoh and move on.

I generally give alms, i think its a civic duty.

PS there will always be poverty in the world. It is impossible for it to be otherwise.

 

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On 6 October 2017 at 11:44 PM, contessa said:

I stopped giving alms when I was 18.I Dont see the point. I tip my service providers wen they do a good job. when I see a young person hustling, I buy if I need it and give something to encourage the good work. I refuse to give my hard earned dime to someone who doesn't understand the struggle.

The beggars on my way to work have stopped asking me tey  tey. If u like roll on the ground,  l won't spare a second glance....

😂😂😂...@ if u like roll on the ground 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I don't give alms. I encourage a trade no matter how small. I let go of 100 naira for 1 pure water (100 niara that i can use to buy a bottle water) I do that not because i expect a reward from some deity or recognition from humans or because I'm a good person, No. it just feels really good to be nice.  

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