lgbt Coming out

[ria]

When is the right time to come out the closet? When is it right to open up and accept who you really are

Especially because Nigerians right now are hostile to queer people, and the police are having fun arresting homosexuals instead of enforcing law and order.

When is the right time to tell that friend, brother, sister ,parents etc and stop being in silky relationships that u r not meant to be?

I hope the house would kindly help shed more light on this

[Teewhy]

As a matter of fact, for me, I do not need to come out to no one.

I already accepted who I am, I need no one to know that aside my gf. My brother is kinda putting two and three together sha, dat one no consain me. 

Live your life the way you want and live it peacefully. #LifeIsShort for iranu. 

[ria]

3 minutes ago, Teewhy said:

As a matter of fact, for me, I do not need to come out to no one.

I already accepted who I am, I need no one to know that aside my gf. My brother is kinda putting two and three together sha, dat one no consain me. 

Live your life the way you want and live it peacefully. #LifeIsShort for iranu. 

Thanks... Like u said life is too short

[MENA]

l agree with @Teewhy this is Nigeria there's  no need coming out to no one because  is not accepted here. l feel  is countries  where lgbt are generally  accepted  that people out just let people know am on the other side.

When you are still very young  and dependent in Nigeria , l understand it maybe  be kind of difficult but there will always  be a way out somehow. 

l remember  when l was in secondary  school, l fell in love with this sexy student teacher and she loved me so much too but taking her home was a kind difficult because she way my senior.

 The age difference was like eleven years. lt was difficult to introduce  her as a friend  at home. So what l did was to talk good of her at all time to my mum. Then one day, l told my mum she was coming to sleep over and mum was glad to meet her. After  that day, she was welcome at all time, so we had sex conveniently as well all the time

But when you much older and independent, you will have more privacy. No one can be nosy  about your life because you have your own apartment , money etc.

[Txunamy]

1 hour ago, Teewhy said:

As a matter of fact, for me, I do not need to come out to no one.

I already accepted who I am, I need no one to know that aside my gf. My brother is kinda putting two and three together sha, dat one no consain me. 

Live your life the way you want and live it peacefully. #LifeIsShort for iranu. 

Hehehe @ your brother putting two and three together.. 

[Txunamy]

1 minute ago, MENA said:

l agree with @Teewhy this is Nigeria there's  no need coming out to no one because  is not accepted here. l feel  is countries  where lgbt are generally  accepted  that people out just let people know am on the other side.

When you are still very young  and dependent in Nigeria , l understand it maybe  be kind of difficult but there will always  be a way out somehow. 

l remember  when l was in secondary  school, l fell in love with this sexy student teacher and she loved me so much too but taking her home was a kind difficult because she way my senior.

 The age difference was like eleven years. lt was difficult to introduce  her as a friend  at home. So what l did was to talk good of her at all time to my mum. Then one day, l told my mum she was coming to sleep over and mum was glad to meet her. After  that day, she was welcome at all time, so we had sex conveniently as well all the time

But when you much older and independent, you will have more privacy. No one can be nosy  about your life because you have your own apartment , money etc.

Osheyy! 

Right under mum's nose.. 

[MENA]

8 minutes ago, Ivyy said:

Osheyy! 

Right under mum's nose.. 

wetin l for do na? my older brother was too strict. He wouldn't let me out most times. So when school was on holiday, she did the movements most times. He didn't like the ideal but my mum liked her so l was covered .

[Teewhy]

6 minutes ago, Ivyy said:

Hehehe @ your brother putting two and three together.. 

He wants to make it 5 so he could reach a conclusion about me. Me, I just dey bone that side whenever him and our friends talk about LGBT. I have given him the assignment he can never submit, the exam he won't pass, he can continue reading abbabio for now. 

[Teewhy]

13 minutes ago, MENA said:

l agree with @Teewhy this is Nigeria there's  no need coming out to no one because  is not accepted here. l feel  is countries  where lgbt are generally  accepted  that people out just let people know am on the other side.

When you are still very young  and dependent in Nigeria , l understand it maybe  be kind of difficult but there will always  be a way out somehow. 

l remember  when l was in secondary  school, l fell in love with this sexy student teacher and she loved me so much too but taking her home was a kind difficult because she way my senior.

 The age difference was like eleven years. lt was difficult to introduce  her as a friend  at home. So what l did was to talk good of her at all time to my mum. Then one day, l told my mum she was coming to sleep over and mum was glad to meet her. After  that day, she was welcome at all time, so we had sex conveniently as well all the time

But when you much older and independent, you will have more privacy. No one can be nosy  about your life because you have your own apartment , money etc.

In the present situation of this shitty country, staying on a low-key works and it's safe. 

But madam, you be baddo ooo, twale for you🙌🙌🙌

[MENA]

Just now, Teewhy said:

In the present situation of this shitty country, staying on a low-key works and it's safe. 

Very true.

I VOTE NO COMING OUT IN NIGERIA! 

Who is with me on this? 

[VINA]

I don't hide it, I don't flaunt it. I don't do anything differently because I want to hide.

Coming out to my folks will be a little hard, it will break their hearts so let me just save them from that. see the way they are planning for my wedding day ehn, all the plans are on ground, just the groom left. 

I feel for them sha.It would be sad cutting my mum out of my life and that of my partner. I guess I would hint it and see how she reacts, I wouldn't wanna cut her off from her grand kids too. 

Basically I think I will come out to mumsy and take it from there.

This is not just dating and sex for me. It's my whole life and future. I can't do without family.

[kimi]

There is no such thing as a right time in my opinion. Personally, I believe each should do it when it feels right for them. It could be staggered that is; breaking the news to different people at different times or whatever works best for your unique situation.

That said, I do believe in coming out (to family and those who matter). I am out to some and of course, I prefer to stagger it. 

[Hawken]

18 hours ago, vina said:

I don't hide it, I don't flaunt it. I don't do anything differently because I want to hide.

Coming out to my folks will be a little hard, it will break their hearts so let me just save them from that. see the way they are planning for my wedding day ehn, all the plans are on ground, just the groom left. 

I feel for them sha.It would be sad cutting my mum out of my life and that of my partner. I guess I would hint it and see how she reacts, I wouldn't wanna cut her off from her grand kids too. 

Basically I think I will come out to mumsy and take it from there.

This is not just dating and sex for me. It's my whole life and future. I can't do without family.

This is me too. My mum is my everything, the thought of hurting her almost moves me to tears 😔 in fact, my chest is tight rn.

[Txunamy]

1 hour ago, Hawken said:

This is me too. My mum is my everything, the thought of hurting her almost moves me to tears 😔 in fact, my chest is tight rn.

Awww.. 

I can imagine. I loved my mum so much, in death, I love her still. A huge part of me knows that if I had come out to her, she wouldn't have loved me any less.cos I know my mum can't live without me in her life. Same way I used to think I can't live without her. i wish I had been open to her if had known she'd be gone so soon. 

If your mum thinks you are her everything,same way you see her as your everything, then she wouldn't want to lose you over your sexual preference.

You should only come out when you are ready to, and if you deem it necessary.

[ria]

Thanks girls, all your replies were helpful.

Good morning, and hope you had a beautiful night rest

[RayBlac]

49 minutes ago, Ivyy said:

i wish I had been open to her if had known she'd be gone so soon. 

😢😢

[Hawken]

10 hours ago, Ivyy said:

Awww.. 

I can imagine. I loved my mum so much, in death, I love her still. A huge part of me knows that if I had come out to her, she wouldn't have loved me any less.cos I know my mum can't live without me in her life. Same way I used to think I can't live without her. i wish I had been open to her if had known she'd be gone so soon. 

If your mum thinks you are her everything,same way you see her as your everything, then she wouldn't want to lose you over your sexual preference.

You should only come out when you are ready to, and if you deem it necessary.

❤❤❤

[scarlet]

11 hours ago, ria said:

Thanks girls, all your replies were helpful.

Good morning, and hope you had a beautiful night rest

You always ask the questions, and not actively participate in the discussions.  Why not give a head start on a next count? 

[ria]

2 hours ago, scarlet said:

You always ask the questions, and not actively participate in the discussions.  Why not give a head start on a next count? 

Aiit, thanks for the observation though

[sumtnu4got]

I think it basically depends on a few things like how widely accepted being gay is where you live (definitely a no-no in Nigeria), are you yourself comfortable with your sexuality, how comfortable your family is about homosexuality.. who you would like to come out to first, are you comfortable living in the closet for the rest of your life etc.

My situation is a bit different because I live abroad but parents still live in Nigeria.. So most of my friends (even some in Nigeria) already know that I am gay.  But my coming out to family story is actually interesting - I didn't straight out come out to my siblings, they basically directly questioned me while we were all on vacation..drinking and asked if I was a lesbian.. I told them I wasn't drunk enough and they should ask after a few more drinks.. Of course they did and I had to come out to them. They were happy that they finally knew and said they felt closer to me, but that I shouldn't tell my parents.

Now fast forward 3 years later, on my birthday my mom basically told me in Yoruba and I translate "to go find and bring home a wife". I was quite shocked and basically just said okay bye.. I guess what I'm trying to say is in most cases, your family already suspects or knows that you are gay but they need a bit more time and your help to accept it.

Anyways, I hope you figure it out soon. I'm more than happy to chat more about my experience.

Cheers

[Teewhy]

1 hour ago, sumtnu4got said:

But my coming out to family story is actually interesting - I didn't straight out come out to my siblings, they basically directly questioned me while we were all on vacation..drinking and asked if I was a lesbian.. I told them I wasn't drunk enough and they should ask after a few more drinks.. Of course they did and I had to come out to them. They were happy that they finally knew and said they felt closer to me

 

I'm waiting for my brothers to ask me this. And I guess I will adopt your style.  

 

Now fast forward 3 years later, on my birthday my mom basically told me in Yoruba and I translate "to go find and bring home a wife". I was quite shocked and basically just said okay bye..

 

Your mum is the real MVP. Lo'mu iyawo wa'le. Twale and two hands for only her jare. 

 

 

 

 

[kimi]

10 hours ago, sumtnu4got said:

I think it basically depends on a few things like how widely accepted being gay is where you live (definitely a no-no in Nigeria), are you yourself comfortable with your sexuality, how comfortable your family is about homosexuality.. who you would like to come out to first, are you comfortable living in the closet for the rest of your life etc.

My situation is a bit different because I live abroad but parents still live in Nigeria.. So most of my friends (even some in Nigeria) already know that I am gay.  But my coming out to family story is actually interesting - I didn't straight out come out to my siblings, they basically directly questioned me while we were all on vacation..drinking and asked if I was a lesbian.. I told them I wasn't drunk enough and they should ask after a few more drinks.. Of course they did and I had to come out to them. They were happy that they finally knew and said they felt closer to me, but that I shouldn't tell my parents.

Now fast forward 3 years later, on my birthday my mom basically told me in Yoruba and I translate "to go find and bring home a wife". I was quite shocked and basically just said okay bye.. I guess what I'm trying to say is in most cases, your family already suspects or knows that you are gay but they need a bit more time and your help to accept it.

Anyways, I hope you figure it out soon. I'm more than happy to chat more about my experience.

Cheers

Awwwwwh... this has got to be one of my favourite coming out stories. Absolutely delightful.

Mehn... your mum though. Wow! I'm so more than thrilled for you. All the very best!

[VINA]

8 hours ago, sumtnu4got said:

Now fast forward 3 years later, on my birthday my mom basically told me in Yoruba and I translate "to go find and bring home a wife". I was quite shocked and basically just said okay bye.. I guess what I'm trying to say is in most cases, your family already suspects or knows that you are gay but they need a bit more time and your help to accept it.

Anyways, I hope you figure it out soon. I'm more than happy to chat more about my experience.

Cheers

Wow, this is just Awesome.

I agree With you. Parents Already Know most times. Nothing passes Their observant Stare.

So since then that mom gave you go ahead To bring wifey, what Now happen Now? We have a wedding planning Committee here on NL O. We are on ground for you. Party Rice shall Not pass Me by o.

[oluchi]

On 11/21/2017 at 10:52 AM, MENA said:

Very true.

I VOTE NO COMING OUT IN NIGERIA! 

Who is with me on this? 

very true

[sumtnu4got]

2 hours ago, vina said:

Wow, this is just Awesome.

I agree With you. Parents Already Know most times. Nothing passes Their observant Stare.

So since then that mom gave you go ahead To bring wifey, what Now happen Now? We have a wedding planning Committee here on NL O. We are on ground for you. Party Rice shall Not pass Me by o.

Ah I'm waiting for wifey na. Single and searching :)