Moderators kimi Posted January 9, 2018 Moderators Share Posted January 9, 2018 Yesterday, my nephew was putting on my pair of slippers. As I got in, he knew that I would go in search for it so he chased right after me and says "here aunty....". Lol. Such cuteness. I did insist he put it back on and that I would manage -but after seeing that I walked bare feet without much luck of getting another pair, he took it right off his baby feet, handed it to me and sort of vanished. Lol. Well... a few minutes later, he resurfaced. This time, he was wearing my mum's pair of slippers. That type with a platform heel. Lol. Quite suddenly (it did give me a bit of a fright), my brother asked him to take it off. Shortly afterwards, his dad too. The other day, it was mum's lipstick he was fidgeting with and rubbing on (not just on his lips but all over his forehead. Lol). Again, his dad reprimands him and I know why.... Each borne out of fear of him becoming just like "one of them". Lol. As if that it what makes a child gay or trans. First, my emotion was one of upset, then saddness and finally it came to rest with a tinge of annoyance laced with some irritation. Lol. Enough is Enough! Children must be allowed to be children and to do silly things in the way children usually would. These days, actions done in mere innocence are being misinterpreted. ...For me, on that day, it wasn't anymore about allowing him act his age. It was more about the hostility, the disgust and the intolerance that is exhibited by those who have masked their homophobia so skillfully that one may easily interpret it as care and sadly, love towards another. Okay.... this wasn't supposed to be in story form. I sort of got carried away? Lol. Share similar experiences here. Venting is welcome lol 🙄😐 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 I understand where you are coming from, but for me, I am on your brother's side. Children should be allowed to be children, yes.. But not in everything they do. Most parents feel some things can be helped, and I am sure he is doing it from a place of love. I would do same thing your brother is doing. I did same with my Lil cousins..and I will do same with my kids they dare not play any kinda dress up around me. I agree kids are innocent, and that's exactly what I am/would be doing, protecting their innocence, till they are old enough to make their own decisions. Why would I indulge my son to put on a gown and dress up like a girl? No sir. Grow up as a boy and then you make the decision if you want to remain a boy or not. This is also coming from a personal place, I grew up wearing boy clothes cos my mum allowed it, and when I look at my childhood photos, I don't like what I see. I insisted on dressing like my cousin bro. So whenever my mum goes shopping for him, she gets me same clothes and sneakers. I enjoyed it then cos my mum indulged me, but the moment I entered secondary school, I hated it. I got home from school on holiday first term and asked my mum to buy me gowns and skirts. Years later, I asked her why she indulged me, she just shrugged. So, from my experience, I think kids should be protected from certain things. For me being a lesbian, I would approve if any kid of mine is gay.. Totally. But I won't start you young. So kimi nwannem, pls cut your brother some slack. ☺ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted January 9, 2018 Author Moderators Share Posted January 9, 2018 20 minutes ago, Ivyy said: So kimi nwannem, pls cut your brother some slack. Hahaha. It's the way they both lash out that gets me each time. I appreciate you detailing your journey and respect your stance but nne... I would not necessarily indulge, but I won't lash out. After dress up, we would all get dressed in normal clothes. I'm all for allowing kids freely express themselves provided it isnt some dark devilish thing. Some think I spoil kids.. lol. Perhaps. Mwah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 45 minutes ago, kimi said: Hahaha. It's the way they both lash out that gets me each time. I appreciate you detailing your journey and respect your stance but nne... I would not necessarily indulge, but I won't lash out. After dress up, we would all get dressed in normal clothes. I'm all for allowing kids freely express themselves provided it isnt some dark devilish thing. Some think I spoil kids.. lol. Perhaps. Mwah You spoil kids joor.. ☺ You sound just like my mum. That woman has no heart when it comes to kids.(bless and rest her soul)She over indulges kids..she was all for, do what you want to do, just be intelligent, well mannered, and get good grades is all.. I get your opinion on this.. I totally do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 Good thing he has you. This might or might not be an indication of something but just be his favourite aunt all the time so that years from now, if it is an indication, you can help him make the journey easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 This is murky waters. btw, @vina your reply makes it look like homosexuality is something one chooses... Like its its something you can say "Sure Tom, i understand that you are gay and want to wear skirts (or not), but you'll have to wait till you are 18 to be that way'. The truth is i would very likely panic if any of my kids didn't fit into the expected norm. I can only pray for wisdom to to handle the situation in a way that is best for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted January 9, 2018 Share Posted January 9, 2018 1 hour ago, Hawken said: This is murky waters. btw, @vina your reply makes it look like homosexuality is something one chooses... Like its its something you can say "Sure Tom, i understand that you are gay and want to wear skirts (or not), but you'll have to wait till you are 18 to be that way'. The truth is i would very likely panic if any of my kids didn't fit into the expected norm. I can only pray for wisdom to to handle the situation in a way that is best for them. Why panic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 6 hours ago, dequeen said: Why panic? Because life is hard enough already, even for the wealthy. So I want him to have all the odds in his favour and being gay mostly when it is obvious, isn't a plus. He stands the chance of been discriminated and marginalized. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted January 10, 2018 Author Moderators Share Posted January 10, 2018 3 minutes ago, Hawken said: Because life is hard enough already, even for the wealthy. So I want him to have all the odds in his favour and being gay mostly when it is obvious, isn't a plus. He stands the chance of been discriminated and marginalized. I share in this opinion... Truth is, when I imagined my young nephew being gay, I got scared and sad and almost said a prayer that it not be so. Then of course, I remembered that I musn't interfere with destiny or his divine purpose on this earth. Que sera sera. Bottome line: I love him way too much to have him live and experience life as I am... he deserves happiness and love from ALL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted January 10, 2018 Author Moderators Share Posted January 10, 2018 ....and oh! It's wonderful seeing you here @dequeen. I always enjoy your thoughts and perspectives on issues. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 18 minutes ago, kimi said: I share in this opinion... Truth is, when I imagined my young nephew being gay, I got scared and sad and almost said a prayer that it not be so. Then of course, I remembered that I musn't interfere with destiny or his divine purpose on this earth. Que sera sera. Bottome line: I love him way too much to have him live and experience life as I am... he deserves happiness and love from ALL. Exactly. We all want the best for our kids and loved ones. And at this point in our existence, the best isn't gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 2 hours ago, Hawken said: Because life is hard enough already, even for the wealthy. So I want him to have all the odds in his favour and being gay mostly when it is obvious, isn't a plus. He stands the chance of been discriminated and marginalized. Exactly. Also what I was trying to pass across but in a different way. As a parent, your heart would break when you have a child whose 'gayness'is so obvious . I for one would feel bad if I indulge my son to wear a girl's blouse, and he grows up wanting to do same in high school. Chances are, he would be mocked. And when it gets back to you as a parent, you'd feel bad. You'd wish you had tried harder to stop it. Homosexuality has no age factor, neither is it something one chooses, but I will feel better if my son or daughter is an adult and goes, 'hey mum I want to do this n that' That way I know you are responsible for your choices, and brave enough to face the world. I would want them to take on the world, stay on top of their game, have a good career path and all the good stuff parents want for their kids,without limitations. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teewhy Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 I'm here to read comments only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 If we feel such pain about being homosexual and we pass this pain / curse to our kids, are we not spitting on the faces of the activists who are fighting day and night for us all? Are we not strengthening the cords of homophobia? I think we are special and anyone who is one of us is lucky, chosen. Is it a tough life? Yes, because we are called to a life of courage and guts like warriors. Being gay is a beautiful thing. All you need is courage to realized just how special you are and to pass that courage to those little ones who have been called to travel the path you have already passed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted January 10, 2018 Author Moderators Share Posted January 10, 2018 19 minutes ago, dequeen said: If we feel such pain about being homosexual and we pass this pain / curse to our kids, are we not spitting on the faces of the activists who are fighting day and night for us all? Are we not strengthening the cords of homophobia? I think we are special and anyone who is one of us is lucky, chosen. Is it a tough life? Yes, because we are called to a life of courage and guts like warriors. Being gay is a beautiful thing. All you need is courage to realized just how special you are and to pass that courage to those little ones who have been called to travel the path you have already passed. Hallelujah somebody! ☻ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 28 minutes ago, dequeen said: If we feel such pain about being homosexual and we pass this pain / curse to our kids, are we not spitting on the faces of the activists who are fighting day and night for us all? Are we not strengthening the cords of homophobia? I think we are special and anyone who is one of us is lucky, chosen. Is it a tough life? Yes, because we are called to a life of courage and guts like warriors. Being gay is a beautiful thing. All you need is courage to realized just how special you are and to pass that courage to those little ones who have been called to travel the path you have already passed. dequeen, I don't feel pain about being homosexual, neither is homosexuality a curse. Where did you get that from? ☺ I didn't give my mum any grief about coming out before I became an adult. I wouldnt want any kid of mine to put me in a situation where I'd feel bad for him/her every day. I clearly said I am not against any kid of mine being a homosexual.All I am only saying is , wait it out till you are an adult, cos I would want to know that you are brave enough to withstand all odds.. On homophobia,i read someplace where you wrote something along the lines of how being in a homophobic country is hell, and you concluded you are in hell already being in a homophobic country. Say for instance, your words are set in stone, why would I want my child to start living in hell on earth early in life? Just saying😁 Last last, this topic is a grey Area. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 @ivyy it is indeed a grey area. An extremely grey area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted January 10, 2018 Author Moderators Share Posted January 10, 2018 #eziokwu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 28 minutes ago, dequeen said: @ivyy it is indeed a grey area. An extremely grey area. Yes 'm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 31 minutes ago, kimi said: #eziokwu Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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