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Girlfriend Vs Friend(s)


Damiee

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What would you do if your girlfriend doesn’t like or isn’t comfortable with you being friends with one or more of your friends? Stop talking to them? Keep your distance? Or talk it through? (Open to other scenarios)

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Formerly, I would definitely stop talking to them. Something I have regretted always. 

For me, the hierarchy now is 

1. Wife

2. Friends

3. Girlfriend

The storms I and my friends have weathered will chase a girlfriend away except she's extremely committed. My friends have got my back and I've got their back, and I got my girl, she doesn't have to understand why I'm friends with that person, she's in my life to love me, not to turn it upside down or become a dictator in the affairs of my life. Gone are the days when I offered myself to a woman and said "make me what you want". 

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Well... I've always been pro individualism -in the sense that people must not lose the very essence of themselves/who they are to a union. I honestly believe that when you come into people's lives, you must remember that they had a life and several other equally important relationships before your paths crossed.

That said, nopes. I would never demand she stops talking to anyone on my account except it is an unhealthy relationship which may have legal ramifications.

Similarly, I would expect that she has a similar mindset and understanding of these things... 

Very nice/interesting topic @ OP

 

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I am super accommodating and most times I've inherited friends from exs who've stood by me even after I break off with gf, I've also neglected friends because gf was uncomfortable with them but all that has to end, its wrong to ditch your friends because of someone you just met cos as far as I know friends are more constant that gfs

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Friends are really important to me and I have friends that I have literally known all my life and have even become more like family. It’s impossible to expect that every person you get along will get along with each other. Girlfriend and I will talk it through and I would hope she makes an effort for me. If she can’t, she should at least be civil to said friend.

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It would majorly depend on why she doesn't want me to be friends with said friend. I would do a lot to make my girlfriend happy and I expect my friends to respect and understand that.

I've had a friend tell me her gf was uncomfortable with our friendship because of said friends penchant for tomboys and I totally understood. When she was going to make it a big deal, I was like "whose yansh will you press if you guys break up over this? Definitely not mine. Better stick with your girlfriend, I'll be here when ya'll break up"

And I was 😆

 

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If I'm going to be spending time with you then I should at least be comfortable with your friends because they are going to be there a whole lot.

 

Technically I will let you know I don't like your friends but I will TOLERATE them because I love you and I wouldn't want to put you on the spot by telling you to leave them for me.

I have entertained, cooked, hung out with my baes friends that in my mind I hated. Like they are not just it all, but when they leave our house, they can't help but tell bae I'm a good host. If only they saw my mind:597f81dfa7900_tw_angry1:

On the flip side, I'm still good friends with my ex's best friend, even hang out with her on a steady  because she's dope like that and the rest i dumped along with my ex.

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If my gf has good reasons why she thinks I should cut a certain friend/friends, then bring it to the table and let's discuss it. This has actually happened before and at the end of the day, I was thankful she made me give up those friends,

in this case she could see wat I couldn't see with my so called Friends....listen to her tho, she may have a point 

 

 

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  • 10 months later...

There would be nothing to discuss. All of my friends are of good character and highly respectful at all times. Her having a problem with one would be an indication of something foul with her.

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Well said, my friends should be her friend....... But if she has jealousy over a particular friend that means she feels threatened by her presence. 

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My friends are the really really crazy types. As in the kind our mommy warned us to stay away from. If bae doesn't approve of them, I'll understand her. 

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