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dreamgal

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Three business associates, an Igbo man, a

Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat

lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere.

While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in

through the window. It flew across the table

to where the Igbo man was but he just

waved his hands to chase it away.

The fly then went to where the Yoruba man

was, he also chased it away.

Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese

man was and was flying close to his ears. The

Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime

and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and

swallowed it.

The other men saw this but just kept on

eating.

About Five minutes later, another fly came in

and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased

it away again.

It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time

he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for

sometime and then grabbed it. He then

turned to the Chinese man and asked "how

much you go buy am?"

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A group of men gathered at a church

conference on how to live in a loving

relationship with their wives. The men were

asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All

the men raised their hands. Then they were

asked, "When was the last time you told your

wife you love her ?" Some men answered

today, some yesterday, majority didn’t

remember. The men were then told to take

their cell phones and send the following text

to their respective wives: I love you,

sweetheart...

Then the men were told to exchange their

phones so one can read the other wife's reply

to the love message.

Here are some of the replies:

1. Have you impregnated someone again

2. That was then, not now

***. You wan borrow money abi?

4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you

this time.

5. Meaning?

6. Is that a new song?

7. Am I dreaming?

8. If you don’t tell me who this message is

actually for, you will die today!

9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking.

10. Abeg na who be this?

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A group of men gathered at a church

conference on how to live in a loving

relationship with their wives. The men were

asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All

the men raised their hands. Then they were

asked, "When was the last time you told your

wife you love her ?" Some men answered

today, some yesterday, majority didn’t

remember. The men were then told to take

their cell phones and send the following text

to their respective wives: I love you,

sweetheart...

Then the men were told to exchange their

phones so one can read the other wife's reply

to the love message.

Here are some of the replies:

1. Have you impregnated someone again

2. That was then, not now

***. You wan borrow money abi?

4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you

this time.

5. Meaning?

6. Is that a new song?

7. Am I dreaming?

8. If you don’t tell me who this message is

actually for, you will die today!

9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking.

10. Abeg na who be this?

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Never argue with a woman, just use your

brains like this my guy.

A man went on a night out with his

friends the wife is furious and tells

the kids that when he comes back

they must not open the door for him.

At about12 o'clock the man comes

back and knocks...

the Wife tells him "go sleep where your

coming from " and the man

answered" I'm not here to sleep my

dia , I'm here to collect condoms in

my room on top of the table or give it

to me,

there'r lots of women at the party!"

The wife opened the door and said

"" your not going anywhere enter the

house.

( Quot

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IGBO TRADER WRITING WAEC EXAM: Ebuka told

his Oga at the shop to please wait at the gate

and pick him up after his WAEC Commerce

exam at the Commercial Secondary School

where he registered. He was given Commerce

Exam question paper and the only question

he could answer was question number *** and

it says: "Differentiate between a Warehouse

and a Shop" (20marks) After much thinking

he smiled and wrote his answer as fast as he

could: Warehouse is at Ojota while Shop is at

Alaba market. Then he submitted his paper

and went to meet his Oga at the gate: OGA:

Ebuka, how far? How e be? EBUKA: E dey so

simple Oga. Question number three say make

we differentiate between a warehouse & a

shop. OGA: Ehen-ehen...Wet in U come write?

EBUKA: hmmm. I write say "warehouse dey

for Ojota & shop dey for Alaba. OGA: So na the

only thing wey U write be dat? EBUKA: Yes

Oga. OGA: Chinekemee!!! U dey craze

Common go back & put the phone numbers &

our complete address. silly boy! Na so dem

take dey get customers

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DIFFERENCE BTW A FOREIGN ADVICE AND A

NIGERIA ADVICE !

Hello, my name is Sandra Stone, I'm from Uk, i

love my husband so much and i do anything

to please

him on bed.. i even suck his d**ck too but he

has refused to suck mine.. pls advice me how

to tell him to go down on me cos i really want

my Kitty-Cat juice sucked.

Comments

* James silva : I think u need to talk to him,

marriage is communication.

* Sarah water : Oh my dear,sorry abt that.. ve

bin in ur shoes before .. i told him right away

when we were aving sex and he is an expert

in it

* Micheal paper : I get downwt my wife, its

cool i love doing it.. u shud talk to ur husband.

NIGERIAN PAGE !

My name is Aminat, i stay in Abuja, married

wta kid, my husband have refused to suck my

p***y,

what shud i do.. No insults abeg

COMMENTS

* Dayo muyiwa : Fool, sex na food?

* Nkiru joy : Yu are a disgrace to

womanhood..sham e on u

* Idris kunle : Any news abt Assu strike?

* Toheeb sule : If u want i can suck for u call

my no 0708312455

* Funmi Leye: I no blame u at all better go

findsomtn do wt ur life, suck koor, soakaway

nii

* Richard oke : Abeg who get bb charger

* Amaka Achebe : U r a prostitute, u need

deliverance!

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A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as

it comes home, it rushes & f***ks all the

153 hens... The farmer is impressed

thinking about the eggs the hens would

hatch. At lunch, the young energetic

rooster again screws all the 153 hens. The

farmer got tensed up now. Next day, he

finds the rooster bleeping the ducks & the

geese and parrot too which scared the

hell out of him. Later that day, the farmer

finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead &

vultures circling overhead. Farmer says "You

deserved it, you Hot little bastard! U

deserve this "The rooster opens one

eye,points up & says "Ssshhh. Let them

land, I've never bleeped a vulture in my

whole bleeping career".....

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An old man decided his old wife was getting

hard of hearing. So he called her doctor to

make an appointment to have her hearing

checked.

The Doctor said he could see her in two

weeks, and

meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the

husband

could do to give the doctor some idea of the

dimensions

of the problem.

"Here's what you do. Start about 40 feet away

from

her, and speak in a normal conversational

tone and

see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then

20 feet,

and so on until you get a response."

So that evening she's in the kitchen cooking

dinner,

and he's in the living room, and he says to

himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see

what happens."

"Honey, what's for supper?" No response.

So he moves to the other end of the room,

about

30 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?" No

response.

So he moves into the dining room, about 20

feet away.

"Honey, what's for supper?" No response.

On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away.

"Honey,

what's for supper?". No response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey,

what's for

supper?"

"For the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!!!!"

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The new house boy Akpos was given a list of what to buy in the market by his madam:

 

Pepper- N400,

 

Fish- N600,

 

Vegetable-N100,

 

Oil- N400

 

Total- N1500.

 

He took longer than expected and madam went looking for him.

 

After sighting him from a distance, with anger she said; What have you been doing for goodness' sake.

 

Akpos replied; Madam don't be angry, I have bought everything. Is Total i've been looking for since.

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A Warri Mum called Akpos her son and said;

Akpos that fish and meat don boil?

Akpos replied; Yes ma le.

The Mum then said; Abeg implicate salt and

maggi, attach oil, pepper and sentence the

crayfish, then involve the leafs. After

10minutes discharge the pot from fire. U dey

hear me so?

Akpos replied; Yes ma le. Shuoo this food go

good to download with fufu ma le.

His Mum said; Akpos no worry. I don detain

some fufu for cooler, when time reach we go

give am Amnesty.

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A man gave a FAKE 20 Naira to a blind man Akpos by the road side who was begging for alms.

 

The blind man Akpos said; Excuse me sir. This your money is fake. I don't like it.

 

The man got suprised and asked; How did you know its fake?

 

Akpos replied; I am not blind. I'm standing in for my blind friend who always stands here.

 

The man asked; And where is your friend?

 

Akpos replied; He has gone to the cinema to watch a movie.

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The new house boy Akpos was given a list of what to buy in the market by his madam:

 

Pepper- N400,

 

Fish- N600,

 

Vegetable-N100,

 

Oil- N400

 

Total- N1500.

 

He took longer than expected and madam went looking for him.

 

After sighting him from a distance, with anger she said; What have you been doing for goodness' sake.

 

Akpos replied; Madam don't be angry, I have bought everything. Is Total i've been looking for since.

hahahahaha akpors don suffer sha

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A Governor was in the church for thanksgiving. The topic of the sermon was “repentance”

After the sermon, Pastor Akpos asked the congregation ‘if anybody wants 2 give ur life 2 God lift your hand let me pray for you’.

Nobody responded after about three calls.

The Governor mounted the alter and made a statement: “If you want to give your life to God please lift up your hands let Pastor Akpos pray for you because we want to have good citizens in this state”.

A young guy lifted up his hands reluctantly, and the governor asked his personal assistant to give the guy $20,000.

The governor repeated the same statement again, and this time around everybody’s hand was up…

The Governor turned to Pastor Akpos to pray 4 them only to realise to his greatest surprise that Pastor’s Akpos hand was also up…..

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I was a candidate at a JAMB Examination. We were writing Use Of English. I shaded the ones I knew and was waiting for manner to fall from Heaven when I noticed a very beautiful girl sitting beside me.

 

She was shading and was not looking up. Through the help of my long neck, I peeped and checked her work, she was on number 65, I was still on number 21 and time was running out. I quickly thanked God and started shading along with her.

 

We got to number 98 together, suddenly, she looked up, caught me and shouted in a low tone, “What is it? Why is you dey copying me? Copys! copys! You is not shaming! As big as you are! You are a disgrace to your manhood!

 

Na so I shout “Heeeey! heeeeyyy!!! I am finished!, who has eraser!!!”

 

Yekpa!!!

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I was a candidate at a JAMB Examination. We were writing Use Of English. I shaded the ones I knew and was waiting for manner to fall from Heaven when I noticed a very beautiful girl sitting beside me.

 

She was shading and was not looking up. Through the help of my long neck, I peeped and checked her work, she was on number 65, I was still on number 21 and time was running out. I quickly thanked God and started shading along with her.

 

We got to number 98 together, suddenly, she looked up, caught me and shouted in a low tone, “What is it? Why is you dey copying me? Copys! copys! You is not shaming! As big as you are! You are a disgrace to your manhood!

 

Na so I shout “Heeeey! heeeeyyy!!! I am finished!, who has eraser!!!”

 

Yekpa!!!

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Three business associates, an Igbo man, a

Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat

lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere.

While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in

through the window. It flew across the table

to where the Igbo man was but he just

waved his hands to chase it away.

The fly then went to where the Yoruba man

was, he also chased it away.

Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese

man was and was flying close to his ears. The

Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime

and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and

swallowed it.

The other men saw this but just kept on

eating.

About Five minutes later, another fly came in

and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased

it away again.

It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time

he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for

sometime and then grabbed it. He then

turned to the Chinese man and asked "how

much you go buy am?"

..Hahaha..
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