dreamgal Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 Three business associates, an Igbo man, a Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere. While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in through the window. It flew across the table to where the Igbo man was but he just waved his hands to chase it away. The fly then went to where the Yoruba man was, he also chased it away. Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese man was and was flying close to his ears. The Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and swallowed it. The other men saw this but just kept on eating. About Five minutes later, another fly came in and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased it away again. It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for sometime and then grabbed it. He then turned to the Chinese man and asked "how much you go buy am?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamgal Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 A group of men gathered at a church conference on how to live in a loving relationship with their wives. The men were asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All the men raised their hands. Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your wife you love her ?" Some men answered today, some yesterday, majority didn’t remember. The men were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective wives: I love you, sweetheart... Then the men were told to exchange their phones so one can read the other wife's reply to the love message. Here are some of the replies: 1. Have you impregnated someone again 2. That was then, not now ***. You wan borrow money abi? 4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you this time. 5. Meaning? 6. Is that a new song? 7. Am I dreaming? 8. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, you will die today! 9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking. 10. Abeg na who be this? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamgal Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 A group of men gathered at a church conference on how to live in a loving relationship with their wives. The men were asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All the men raised their hands. Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your wife you love her ?" Some men answered today, some yesterday, majority didn’t remember. The men were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective wives: I love you, sweetheart... Then the men were told to exchange their phones so one can read the other wife's reply to the love message. Here are some of the replies: 1. Have you impregnated someone again 2. That was then, not now ***. You wan borrow money abi? 4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you this time. 5. Meaning? 6. Is that a new song? 7. Am I dreaming? 8. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, you will die today! 9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking. 10. Abeg na who be this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamgal Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 Never argue with a woman, just use your brains like this my guy. A man went on a night out with his friends the wife is furious and tells the kids that when he comes back they must not open the door for him. At about12 o'clock the man comes back and knocks... the Wife tells him "go sleep where your coming from " and the man answered" I'm not here to sleep my dia , I'm here to collect condoms in my room on top of the table or give it to me, there'r lots of women at the party!" The wife opened the door and said "" your not going anywhere enter the house. ( Quot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamgal Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 IGBO TRADER WRITING WAEC EXAM: Ebuka told his Oga at the shop to please wait at the gate and pick him up after his WAEC Commerce exam at the Commercial Secondary School where he registered. He was given Commerce Exam question paper and the only question he could answer was question number *** and it says: "Differentiate between a Warehouse and a Shop" (20marks) After much thinking he smiled and wrote his answer as fast as he could: Warehouse is at Ojota while Shop is at Alaba market. Then he submitted his paper and went to meet his Oga at the gate: OGA: Ebuka, how far? How e be? EBUKA: E dey so simple Oga. Question number three say make we differentiate between a warehouse & a shop. OGA: Ehen-ehen...Wet in U come write? EBUKA: hmmm. I write say "warehouse dey for Ojota & shop dey for Alaba. OGA: So na the only thing wey U write be dat? EBUKA: Yes Oga. OGA: Chinekemee!!! U dey craze Common go back & put the phone numbers & our complete address. silly boy! Na so dem take dey get customers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamgal Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 DIFFERENCE BTW A FOREIGN ADVICE AND A NIGERIA ADVICE ! Hello, my name is Sandra Stone, I'm from Uk, i love my husband so much and i do anything to please him on bed.. i even suck his d**ck too but he has refused to suck mine.. pls advice me how to tell him to go down on me cos i really want my Kitty-Cat juice sucked. Comments * James silva : I think u need to talk to him, marriage is communication. * Sarah water : Oh my dear,sorry abt that.. ve bin in ur shoes before .. i told him right away when we were aving sex and he is an expert in it * Micheal paper : I get downwt my wife, its cool i love doing it.. u shud talk to ur husband. NIGERIAN PAGE ! My name is Aminat, i stay in Abuja, married wta kid, my husband have refused to suck my p***y, what shud i do.. No insults abeg COMMENTS * Dayo muyiwa : Fool, sex na food? * Nkiru joy : Yu are a disgrace to womanhood..sham e on u * Idris kunle : Any news abt Assu strike? * Toheeb sule : If u want i can suck for u call my no 0708312455 * Funmi Leye: I no blame u at all better go findsomtn do wt ur life, suck koor, soakaway nii * Richard oke : Abeg who get bb charger * Amaka Achebe : U r a prostitute, u need deliverance! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamgal Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as it comes home, it rushes & f***ks all the 153 hens... The farmer is impressed thinking about the eggs the hens would hatch. At lunch, the young energetic rooster again screws all the 153 hens. The farmer got tensed up now. Next day, he finds the rooster bleeping the ducks & the geese and parrot too which scared the hell out of him. Later that day, the farmer finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead & vultures circling overhead. Farmer says "You deserved it, you Hot little bastard! U deserve this "The rooster opens one eye,points up & says "Ssshhh. Let them land, I've never bleeped a vulture in my whole bleeping career"..... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamgal Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing. So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem. "Here's what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her, and speak in a normal conversational tone and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response." So that evening she's in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room, and he says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." "Honey, what's for supper?" No response. So he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?" No response. So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?" No response. On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?". No response. So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for supper?" "For the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!!!!" 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chishlom Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 rotflmfao. lard iyaf finish me here o. thumbs up 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators FlyJ Posted November 27, 2013 Administrators Share Posted November 27, 2013 LWKMD oooooo....Hahaha...ROTFL :lol: :lol: :lol: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators FlyJ Posted November 27, 2013 Administrators Share Posted November 27, 2013 The new house boy Akpos was given a list of what to buy in the market by his madam: Pepper- N400, Fish- N600, Vegetable-N100, Oil- N400 Total- N1500. He took longer than expected and madam went looking for him. After sighting him from a distance, with anger she said; What have you been doing for goodness' sake. Akpos replied; Madam don't be angry, I have bought everything. Is Total i've been looking for since. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators FlyJ Posted November 27, 2013 Administrators Share Posted November 27, 2013 A Warri Mum called Akpos her son and said; Akpos that fish and meat don boil? Akpos replied; Yes ma le. The Mum then said; Abeg implicate salt and maggi, attach oil, pepper and sentence the crayfish, then involve the leafs. After 10minutes discharge the pot from fire. U dey hear me so? Akpos replied; Yes ma le. Shuoo this food go good to download with fufu ma le. His Mum said; Akpos no worry. I don detain some fufu for cooler, when time reach we go give am Amnesty. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chishlom Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 lol..looking for total??? detain,sentence, implicate,amnesty?? Choi una go kill me with laugh o.I can't take anymore mehn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators FlyJ Posted November 27, 2013 Administrators Share Posted November 27, 2013 A man gave a FAKE 20 Naira to a blind man Akpos by the road side who was begging for alms. The blind man Akpos said; Excuse me sir. This your money is fake. I don't like it. The man got suprised and asked; How did you know its fake? Akpos replied; I am not blind. I'm standing in for my blind friend who always stands here. The man asked; And where is your friend? Akpos replied; He has gone to the cinema to watch a movie. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamgal Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 The new house boy Akpos was given a list of what to buy in the market by his madam: Pepper- N400, Fish- N600, Vegetable-N100, Oil- N400 Total- N1500. He took longer than expected and madam went looking for him. After sighting him from a distance, with anger she said; What have you been doing for goodness' sake. Akpos replied; Madam don't be angry, I have bought everything. Is Total i've been looking for since. hahahahaha akpors don suffer sha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators FlyJ Posted November 27, 2013 Administrators Share Posted November 27, 2013 LOL...no be small suffer... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chishlom Posted November 28, 2013 Share Posted November 28, 2013 cinema??? loooooool 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovebird Posted November 28, 2013 Share Posted November 28, 2013 LoLLLL.... cinema??total??lolss.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators FlyJ Posted November 28, 2013 Administrators Share Posted November 28, 2013 A Governor was in the church for thanksgiving. The topic of the sermon was “repentance” After the sermon, Pastor Akpos asked the congregation ‘if anybody wants 2 give ur life 2 God lift your hand let me pray for you’. Nobody responded after about three calls. The Governor mounted the alter and made a statement: “If you want to give your life to God please lift up your hands let Pastor Akpos pray for you because we want to have good citizens in this state”. A young guy lifted up his hands reluctantly, and the governor asked his personal assistant to give the guy $20,000. The governor repeated the same statement again, and this time around everybody’s hand was up… The Governor turned to Pastor Akpos to pray 4 them only to realise to his greatest surprise that Pastor’s Akpos hand was also up….. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators FlyJ Posted November 28, 2013 Administrators Share Posted November 28, 2013 I was a candidate at a JAMB Examination. We were writing Use Of English. I shaded the ones I knew and was waiting for manner to fall from Heaven when I noticed a very beautiful girl sitting beside me. She was shading and was not looking up. Through the help of my long neck, I peeped and checked her work, she was on number 65, I was still on number 21 and time was running out. I quickly thanked God and started shading along with her. We got to number 98 together, suddenly, she looked up, caught me and shouted in a low tone, “What is it? Why is you dey copying me? Copys! copys! You is not shaming! As big as you are! You are a disgrace to your manhood! Na so I shout “Heeeey! heeeeyyy!!! I am finished!, who has eraser!!!” Yekpa!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chishlom Posted November 28, 2013 Share Posted November 28, 2013 lol...lmfao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovebird Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 I was a candidate at a JAMB Examination. We were writing Use Of English. I shaded the ones I knew and was waiting for manner to fall from Heaven when I noticed a very beautiful girl sitting beside me. She was shading and was not looking up. Through the help of my long neck, I peeped and checked her work, she was on number 65, I was still on number 21 and time was running out. I quickly thanked God and started shading along with her. We got to number 98 together, suddenly, she looked up, caught me and shouted in a low tone, “What is it? Why is you dey copying me? Copys! copys! You is not shaming! As big as you are! You are a disgrace to your manhood! Na so I shout “Heeeey! heeeeyyy!!! I am finished!, who has eraser!!!” Yekpa!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovebird Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 Lols oooo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missmart Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 Three business associates, an Igbo man, a Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere. While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in through the window. It flew across the table to where the Igbo man was but he just waved his hands to chase it away. The fly then went to where the Yoruba man was, he also chased it away. Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese man was and was flying close to his ears. The Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and swallowed it. The other men saw this but just kept on eating. About Five minutes later, another fly came in and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased it away again. It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for sometime and then grabbed it. He then turned to the Chinese man and asked "how much you go buy am?" ..Hahaha.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missmart Posted November 29, 2013 Share Posted November 29, 2013 hahaha.. . Naso Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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