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Nollywood actress, Nse Ikpe-Etim has revealed she won't be able to have a child for the rest of her life because she has no womb (uterus). While speaking at an event tagged “Conversation With Nse” in Lekki, the actress told her audience that three- years ago she was diagnosed with Adenomyosis, a condition whereby the inner lining of the uterus breaks through the muscle wall of the uterus. She said, “I was told I couldn’t have kids. And so, I had to have a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) to make me have a life again and to stop going through what I was going through. And I’m literarily telling women and men, it really doesn’t matter if you can’t bear children. What really matters is what you would do for the world, for the universe.” Recounting when she was first told by the doctor that she would have to remove her uterus to live a normal life, she said, “Tears dropped and then my husband squeezed my hand. It was reassuring there was someone there and it was telling me that this is reality, my reality.” Speaking further, she revealed the ordeal made her fall into depression. “I didn’t think there was any point anymore because my society taught me that I have to be a mother to be appreciated and every time I went online, I would have one troll or two say ‘you never born? But I’m thankful that that didn’t break me. I’m thankful for Nollywood.” Source

Sometimes lesbians want to find a wife with whom to run a small sheep farm in Wales; sometimes what we want is a hard wet fuck from a beautiful woman we barely know in the bathroom of a gay bar. We contain multitudes. But how do you make the latter happen? I bring to you cruising tips and casual sex advice built off the years of skanky queer life experience that have solidified me as one of the leading minds in the highly un-scientific field of “Lez Slut-ology.” The Basics What’s cruising? Cruising is going out into the world with the specific intention of finding someone with whom to have casual sex. If you message or approach someone just wanting to hook up, you are cruising. It’s a time-honored gay tradition and a rich part of our cultural history that forgoes respectability politics and homonormative assimilation in favor of radical expressions of queer sexuality. Cruising is knowing what you want and actively pursuing it. The term is thought to have come from queer folks walking or driving around town searching for a casual encounter. Though cruising has gained prominence as practiced by men who have sex with men, it isn’t theirs alone; dyke communities have also engaged in cruising and casual sex for years. Where do you cruise? I would recommend any events or settings where you know lady-loving lady hotties abound as a great place to cruise. This includes: + Dyke nights at your local gay bar + Pride + Dance parties + Brunch + A-Camp + A Hayley Kiyoko/Tegan & Sara/Mirah/Melissa Etheridge concert + BDSM play parties + A gay picnic + A book fair + NaijaLez So my golden rule is: “If there’s a hot gay around and you aren’t at like, a trauma center or a funeral, you can cruise there.” An elegant golden rule, I know. How do you cruise? Feel good about it! We live in a society that indoctrinates us into believing that having desires is predatory and shameful, and that women who desire women are even more so. I think another big part of it is that many of us have experienced predatory behavior and are very scared to replicate it. It’s not predatory to want someone and let them know it. It’s not predatory to desire another woman in a purely sexual manner. It’s only predatory if you are being disrespectful of someone’s boundaries, body, and personhood. So don’t do that. As for fears about being desirable or confident enough, remember that queer desire is complex and multifaceted and lots of types of people are attracted to lots of types of people and bodies; why not you! I suggest wearing something you feel really confident and hot in, that outfit that just makes you feel like the baddest bitch. And when all else fails, fake the confidence because we honestly all do that. Flirting Flirting is the first step of cruising and something I know many queers struggle with. I know many queer folx, especially women, feel frozen by this deep fear of rejection and getting over that is the first step to being a more confident cruiser. Being rejected doesn’t say anything bad about you or them and it doesn’t invalidate your gayness. I fear rejection too, but learning to accept it as a likely possibility has helped me become my best flirt and built my confidence in other aspects of my life. What is important is to not be objectifying in how you interact with them. If they aren’t into it, respect the no, move on, and don’t make it weird. If you’re approached by someone you aren’t into, try to handle it the way you would want to be rejected, say thank you and politely decline. My favorite ways to flirt with or be flirted with by women are to be complimented — find something you think is beautiful, stylish, or attractive about this person and let them know — and then having them get down to it — ask for what you’re interested in, whether it’s a number, a date, or getting fucked in the bathroom. Having Casual Sex How do you actually initiate casual sex? In practice: you’re out and about and have spotted a hottie, and have been flirting by complimenting them and chatting. Maybe this doesn’t go well; either they aren’t into it or upon closer interaction you aren’t as into them as you thought you were. That’s fine; chalk it up to the mysteries of life and move on. If they do seem equally interested in you, you can take the initiative! If it’s a setting like a bar, party or social gathering where you could feasibly say “Do you want to go to my place/the bathroom/my car/anywhere else we can have sex?” you can ask that! If you’re in the middle of a protest or drag queen story hour for kids at 10 am at the public library, maybe you want to ask for their number so you can make a similar suggestion at a more appropriate time — like getting someone’s info to ask them on a date, but focusing more on asking them “I think you’re really hot, do you want to come over Saturday night?” If you are trying to get fisted in your car in the parking lot of the bar — congrats! — maybe wear something you can slip in and out of easily. Once you get to actually having sex, you of course are aware it’s good to communicate basic stuff about boundaries and consent, even if it is casual. There’s no set list of things to discuss before sleeping with a stranger, but if it’s something like a medical condition, a boundary, or testing status, then definitely bring it up. Examples: “Hey just so you know, I have a latex allergy, so finger me with nitrile gloves.” “Please make sure you don’t touch my neck. It’s a trigger for me.” “How recently have you been tested?” “My partner and I have a rule about getting no marks from hookups.” “I don’t like gentle sex.” “I have been tested recently and my results came back positive for gonorrhea.” Source

Olga Diyachenko, the Russian partner of Super Eagles captain, John Mikel Obi, who is currently in Nigeria with her family took to Instagram to write about Nigerian women. In the candid post, Olga praised Nigerian women for having so much grace, charisma and not a shred of insecurity. Read her post below. Nigeria, what a surprise you've turned out be. ?? But, if I’m to say what impressed me most, it’s The Women. So much; grace, charisma and not a shred of insecurity. Nigerian women walk swaying their beautiful hips with their backs impeccably straight, heads held high, knowing their worth. Their attitude is strong, yet very sensual, regardless whether it’s a wealthy woman walking through a 5 star hotel or a young girl crossing the road at 7 AM rushing to work. Although may I say, Nigerian women do not rush, nor do they fidget, they simply glide. The way Nigerian women preserve their culture and traditions is admirable. They don’t chase international designers or dress according to Vogue, they wear beautiful traditional dresses, dance the traditional dances and do it all with pride! I hope Ava and Mia will inherit the calmness, sense of pride, posture and self worth that I’ve witnessed Nigerian women posses with such ease. Nigerian Women hat off to you. Source

Hunter’s Pursuit, by Kim Baldwin \ I think Kim Baldwin specializes in using the cold to bring lovers together in peril. This one is so exciting: Kat is a mercenary contemplating retirement in her hillside hideaway when a super babe with memory problems and assassins on her tail shows up at her door. Kat has to decide what to do about this woman, who may or may not be deadly, and what to do when she starts falling for this woman, which may or may not be sexy (it is, it’s very sexy). It’s one of those “oh no we are stuck in close quarters together, whatever shall we do” situations that only gets hotter with the threat of death or dismemberment lurking outside. Source

Waconzy who was born in Port Harcourt, gained some popularity with his song “I celebrate” in 2010 and since then, has struggled to make a comeback even after releasing subsequent songs. The musician, whose music career is obviously over, took to Instagram to display his ignorance and homophobia. He posted “Gays & lesbians are bad children wey no gree change. They have nothing to offer to this world but HIV”. Given Nigeria’s increasing homophobia toward homosexuals due to ignorance on the issue, the statement above is capable of further encouraging discrimination and stigma which harms efforts to prevent HIV and care for LGBTQ+ persons living with the virus. Waconzy needs to learn that anyone regardless of their sexual orientation can contract HIV, the virus which causes AIDS and if he really understands the sort of harm that his post can cause to innocent lives, then he won’t wait for too long before taking it down with an apology. Source

Thoughts?