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Heterosexual Nigerian women speak out about being married to gay men
FlyJ posted a topic in Latest News and Gist
In societies where homosexuals face severe social stigma and potential criminal penalties under harsh laws, gay and bisexual men often turn to marrying straight women either to hide their own orientation or meet social and family expectations. Queer men in Nigeria often say they choose to marry women to preserve the privileges that are afforded to them when they “pass” as heterosexual. Phillip, a Lagos-based Nigerian bisexual, says his job at a top tech consultancy firm would be at risk if he were known to be queer. “I love men and if I am given the opportunity I will choose to marry a man. But how can I even do that? Everything is on the line here. I will lose everything including my precious job. In fact, I’ll be jailed and humiliated. I can’t stand all of that, that’s why I am going to marry a woman, and of course, she doesn’t have to know,” Phillip says. But while queer men face extreme social pressures to conform and marry women, this can put their female partners in difficult situations as well. To explore these struggles, five straight Nigerian women who married gay and bisexual men shared their stories. “He deceived me” Judith, a mother of two teenage boys, says though it wasn’t entirely bad being married to her ex-husband, whom she described as “loving and caring.” But she admits that it was really painful to discover that her husband lied to her throughout their marriage. “What pains me is that he deceived me. He loved men, yet married me. After I found out about him and his young lover, he admitted that he never loved me, but liked me and that he won’t be able to change,” Judith says. “We were married for 15 years. I don’t think I will be able to forgive him even though he was a good man and took care of us. He is a very loving and caring man. I will admit that about him,” she says. “Eager to change” Not every woman who is married to a gay or bisexual man is completely oblivious to his sexual orientation. Elisa, whose marriage did not endure a full year, says she was aware her ex-husband was gay. “I knew about who he is from the very beginning. We spoke about it several times, and he sounded like someone who was also eager to change,” Elisa says. “But it all crashed after I caught him crying one night that he was tired of denying his true nature. He said he was no longer happy. “I tried everything, even seeing our pastor, but nothing changed. He became even more miserable and depressed. It was last year that we both decided to go our separate ways after eight months of being married,” she says. “I gave him everything” Due to widespread misconceptions about homosexuality, many believe that being gay is all about a lack of access to sex with women. Victoria, an Enugu-based fashion designer, is one of those who believed so but is now very disappointed and shocked to find out that this is false. “Everything is still a dream to me. I loved him, gave him everything that a good wife gives to her husband, I never cheated on him, not to talk of the numerous times we had sex, yet he chooses to remain in that dirty act. Sleeping with a man like him, so disgusting. It is not easy leaving, but I can’t remain in that marriage” Victoria says. “He only wanted my womb” Some gay and bisexual men find selfish reasons to justify marrying women. Agnes, a 27-year-old banker, says her husband told her that all he wanted was to have kids and the only option was to marry a woman. “I feel completely used. How wicked. He only wanted my womb,” Agnes says. “After three years of being married to that scumbag, he told me he was leaving the marriage and that I wasn’t the kind of woman he wanted. Something was so off, so I had to dig him. To cut the long story short, it turned out he was gay and tired of being with a woman. I exposed him before leaving, and I am sure he will forever regret it.” “All I feel for him is pity” Sometimes, gay and bisexual men are pressured by their families to marry women. Patience, a Lagos-based fruit seller, is in a similar situation. However, she seems to have accepted her situation with some positivity. She says she doesn’t quite blame her husband for not letting her know that he is gay before he proposed, stating that her husband was pressured by his family. “I understand with my husband. He is the only son of his family and they want him to marry so that he can continue the family’s lineage. But I am not happy,” Patience says. “Every time he leaves the house I am afraid. He likes young boys. It was after I caught him sleeping with our house help that I knew. Now all I feel for him is pity. I am going to stay with him because we have a child together and I can’t raise my child without him.” Source -
Will you get the COVID-19 vaccine if it is made available to you?
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Interesting video from the Kachis.
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Nigerian men don’t deserve free s*x~ Singer Temmie Ovwasa tells women
FlyJ posted a topic in Latest News and Gist
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We are slowly finding our voice, and we will get there someday. What are your thoughts on compulsory heterosexuality?
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Gay Nigerian teenager gets a new home after being rejected by family
FlyJ posted a topic in Latest News and Gist
Bright, who comes from Benin City, Nigeria, struggled with depression and eventually became homeless when his parents threw him out following a blackmail experience with the Nigeria police. In early May 2020, the 19-year old was lured and arrested by police officers in Benin City, who had used other previously arrested young gay men as bait to entrap their friends. “I just walked into their trap. I did not do anything. I only wanted to meet up with one of my friends after he called me that he needed me to come to help him pick up something for another friend of ours. It was there that two police officers grabbed my trousers and asked for my name. The moment I accepted, I was arrested,” Bright said. Members of the Nigerian queer community have identified many locations in Benin City and other cities as notorious hot spots for police harassment and anti-gay blackmail. It’s not a crime simply to be gay in Nigeria — only specific sexual acts are criminalized in the country’s various Criminal Code, Penal Code, and shariah law codes. Nevertheless, police often work with individuals to lure gay men to locations where they arrest them. After Bright was arrested, his family paid about N80,000 (approximately $210 USD) for his bail, he said. But when he returned home, he received a shock. His family had “called and reported the issue to everyone including our pastor. I was then asked to leave the house that I brought shame to the family. My dad said he was never going to have a gay son,” Bright said. Bright said he was homeless for over a month until a friend took him in. However, the friend was also living with his family, and they did not approve. It was then that he reached out to NoStringsNG, which provided transportation for him to move to Port Harcourt, Nigeria, where he was provided shelter at a safe house run by a trans group. However, Bright was only able to stay there temporarily. In June last year, through support provided by NoStringsNG with help from the Saint Paul’s Foundation for International Reconciliation, Bright was able to rent a new place to stay with a friend. He was also able to use his computer skills to secure a job to support himself. “I know I feel lonely and depressed sometimes, but I am truly happy to have found a place to stay. I have some peace now and can sleep well at least at night. I appreciate the support and I am glad,” Bright said. Source- 1 reply
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''I am not happy because you guys are frustrating my life because I am getting depressed already. I thought I have moved on and everybody has moved on. I have not been getting jobs, I am getting broke. You know as a public figure you have to have money to take care of some personal expenses. Right now I don't have any money. Now, if people book me for a job, the company or brand would see Godwin Maduagu and they would say no, we can't use this boy. How do you guys want me to feel? How do you expect me to feed or survive? You guys said I made a video to trend. Now who is now trending and who is now losing? How do you expect me to make a video that will destroy my life and everything. You guys should just pity me now, Please. I am not happy. I want to get my life back. I need money. Right now I feel like I am going to commit suicide because I can't take this anymore. It is really depressing and it is affecting me psychologically. ''
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What the heck is happening here?
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You are about to eat this food and receive a break-up message from your partner. What will you do? Will you eat or walk away?
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WhatsApp has gone down, leaving its millions of users without the ability to send or receive messages. Tracing website Down Detector showed what appeared to be a global outage on Tuesday evening, as the messaging app appeared to have broken. Chats did appear to load, but new messages would refuse to send within those chats. Some previous WhatsApp outages have been followed by problems at Facebook and Instagram, presumably because they share infrastructure. But those services appeared to continue working as normal. Unlike those other Facebook-owned apps, WhatsApp does not operate a status page to update users and developers on any problems with its service, meaning there is no easy way to know whether the company is aware of the outage of how widespread it might be. The company does have a devoted Twitter account – under the name of WhatsApp Status – but it has not been used since 2014. Source
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Members of the LGBTQ community responded to the tweets by stating that the employer's action is acceptable since gay people are rejected for jobs because of their sexuality. Some added that they only hire queer people. However, some asked if they aren't also engaging in the same discrimination they say they suffer due to their sexual orientation. Source Do you think he should have hired the straight applicant?
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What are your thoughts? Do you think she is 19 or not?
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Black American dragged mercilessly for coming for a Nigerian on Twitter
FlyJ posted a topic in Latest News and Gist
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In a video posted on his page, Ayomide declared himself queer as he threw shade at popular crossdresser, Bobrisky, who he said is still denying being queer.
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A mother-of-two, Takieyah Reaves, from Newark, New Jersey, now lives with her intestines hanging out of her abdomen after surviving a horrific nightclub shooting. Reaves, 32, defied death in July 2017 to survive being shot twice on her stomach and right leg by a random attacker who sprayed bullets at a crowd of night clubbers, injuring three people. One of the bullets tore her stomach wide open, and it was a miracle that she survived after undergoing intensive surgery to repair her damaged intestines. After doctors stitched her up, the size of the wound on her stomach made it impossible to close, forcing her to live with a gaping hole on her torso and with the inside of her intestines fully exposed. Her scar looks so big that some people even mistake it for a pregnancy. Takieyah was nursed by her mother Tammi Reaves-Duncan as she recovered, she even entered into depression due to her "deformity." Takieyah, a criminal justice student, said to Metro UK: ‘It will get patched up properly, but it has been left open and exposed ever since it happened. It bulges and I am constantly asked if I am pregnant when I go out. People ask me if it’s a boy or a girl and I then have to explain everything.’ Takieyah lost 4.5 liters of blood and defied death to survive the shooting. Takieyah continued: ‘I wasn’t supposed to make it out of hospital alive, my family were told to say their goodbyes. I am so grateful to still be here and be given a second chance at life, but I can’t help feeling depressed by how I looked." ‘I kept my stomach hidden from everyone for a long time, even from my kids. I was so depressed by my body, I had scars all over and I hated it. ‘I just wanted to curl up in a ball and hide and I was scared to go outside because of guns on the street. " I also didn’t want anyone to see my body so I found it hard to live my life as normal." Doctors created a makeshift lining for Takieyah’s stomach by using skin from her leg. ‘It has changed my life but I am so grateful I am still able to raise my kids. I was depressed for a while but I decided that I couldn’t go on like that for their sake. ‘I do want my body back but I see them as my war scars. People tell me how beautiful I am and I have learned to embrace what happened.’ After three years of living with an open wound, Takieyah is due to have her stomach stitched back together for good, at the end of June this year. Takieyah speaking about the day she was shot: ‘I thought I was dying and I was so scared about leaving my kids without a mom. It was super scary and really painful, it felt like fire was running through my veins. ‘I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, the guy was firing off gunshots and I was stood in the doorway. I didn’t even realize I had been shot at first, but then I collapsed. ‘I was in the doorstep of the club when I got shot. I remember feeling very tired, like I wanted to go to sleep. My friend Lavona kept telling me to keep my eyes open and listen to the voices.’ ‘I lost 4.5 liters of blood and my doctors told me my heart stopped on the operating table, but I came back. I had surgery to remove the bullets but they had to leave my stomach open like this" Source
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Learn how to make Crispy Fried Chicken at home, better than fast food chicken! You will never buy from Fast Food again after this recipe! INGREDIENTS Chicken Thighs 6 Marinade 1 Teaspoon Onion Powder 1 Teaspoon Garlic Powder 1 Teaspoon Ginger Powder 1 Teaspoon Salt 3 Tablespoons Paprika 1 Tablespoon Ground Pepper 1 Tablespoon All Spice 1 Teaspoon Chicken Seasoning 1/2 Cup Milk 1 Egg Coating 3 Cups Plain Flour 1 Cup Corn Flour 1 Tablespoon Parika 1 Teaspoon Salt 1 Teaspoon All Spice
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June is Pride Month, when the world's LGBT communities come together and celebrate the freedom to be themselves. Pride gatherings are rooted in the arduous history of minority groups who have struggled for decades to overcome prejudice and be accepted for who they are. The original organizers chose this month to pay homage to the Stonewall uprising in June 1969 in New York City, which helped spark the modern gay rights movement. Most Pride events take place each year in June, although some cities hold their celebrations at other times of the year. Who celebrates it? Pride events are geared toward anyone who feels like their sexual identity falls outside the mainstream -- although many straight people join in, too. LGBT is an acronym meaning lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. The term sometimes is extended to LGBTQ, or even LGBTQIA, to include queer, intersex and asexual groups. Queer is an umbrella term for non-straight people; intersex refers to those whose sex is not clearly defined because of genetic, hormonal or biological differences; and asexual describes those who don't experience sexual attraction. These terms may also include gender fluid people, or those whose gender identity shifts over time or depending on the situation. How did it start? In the early hours of June 28, 1969, police raided the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York's Greenwich Village, and began hauling customers outside. Tensions quickly escalated as patrons resisted arrest and a growing crowd of bystanders threw bottles and coins at the officers. New York's gay community, fed up after years of harassment by authorities, broke out in neighborhood riots that went on for three days. The uprising became a catalyst for an emerging gay rights movement as organizations such as the Gay Liberation Front and the Gay Activists Alliance were formed, modeled after the civil rights movement and the women's rights movement. Members held protests, met with political leaders and interrupted public meetings to hold those leaders accountable. A year after the Stonewall riots, the nation's first Gay Pride marches were held. In 2016 the area around the Stonewall Inn, still a popular nightspot today, was designated a national monument. Where did the Pride name come from? Pride marchers on June 25, 2017, in Istanbul, Turkey. The 2017 LGBT Pride March there was banned by authorities, but organizers defied the order before being dispersed by police and tear gas. It's credited to Brenda Howard, a bisexual New York activist nicknamed the "Mother of Pride," who organized the first Pride parade to commemorate the one-year anniversary of the Stonewall uprising. What's the origin of the rainbow flag? In 1978, artist and designer Gilbert Baker was commissioned by San Francisco city supervisor Harvey Milk -- one of the first openly gay elected officials in the US -- to make a flag for the city's upcoming Pride celebrations. Baker, a prominent gay rights activist, gave a nod to the stripes of the American flag but drew inspiration from the rainbow to reflect the many groups within the gay community. A subset of flags represent other sexualities on the spectrum, such as bisexual, pansexual and asexual. Can I participate in Pride events if I'm not LGBT? Sure. Pride events welcome allies from outside the LGBT community. They are opportunities to show support, to observe, listen and be educated. Source
