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  1. FlyJ

    Nigerian Meat Stew

    The secret to any tasty Nigerian food or any food, is the meat stock/broth. Once you’ve nailed it, everything falls in place. Here is one of my many styles of cooking Nigerian stew. My recipes are always easy to follow and straight forward.
  2. There is a huge chasm between African-Americans and African immigrants in the United States. That chasm has widened over the years. It has caused deep animosity between many African-Americans and their African immigrant cousins. The chasm has prevented African-Americans from participating in the current economic boom in Africa and it has shut many African immigrants out of opportunities for economic advancement here in the United States. The problem stems from deep misconceptions, sometimes fueled by the U.S. media. Astonishingly, many African-Americans believe that Africans are backward and primitive. Some make crude jokes about Africans or do not acknowledge the great contribution Africa has made to the world. For their part, many African immigrants buy into the erroneous notion that African-Americans are lazy and violent. They do not appreciate the great sacrifice African-Americans made, through advocating for their civil rights, to lay the foundation for Africans to be able to come to the United States and live in a country where both blacks and whites have equal rights, at least in theory if not always in practice. The different experiences of the two groups To understand the deep division that exists between African Americans and Africans, one first has to examine the background of the two groups. Before migrating to the United States, most Africans have typically dealt with white Americans who went to Africa as Peace Corps volunteers, missionaries, doctors or teachers. These Americans acted as mentors and guardians to the Africans and developed positive relationships with them. When they come to the United States, it has been my experience that Africans can easily identify with white Americans because they understand each other. Before migrating to the United States, the majority of Africans have had little to no direct negative experiences with whites. They simply do not hate them. On the other hand, most African-Americans grew up in black neighborhoods where they learned from older generations the history of slavery and the cruelty it inflicted on the black race. Furthermore, they have usually experienced firsthand and in their communities the legacies of racism that still exist in the United States. With this background, many African-Americans are not generally predisposed to trust white Americans, and they look down on those African immigrants who express respect or admiration for white Americans. How they react to racism and discrimination A fundamental difference between African Americans and African immigrants is the way they react to racism and discrimination. African Americans usually see racism as the main cause of poverty among their people. They are also quick to point out instances of perceived racism, even in circumstances where it is ambiguous, unclear or more complex than simple racial bigotry or discrimination. A classic example is the currently large African-American population in prison. Most African-Americans feel that the only reason there are so many African Americans incarcerated is their race. They blame police discrimination and lawmakers who make laws weighted to punish blacks. For Africans, after suffering many years in civil wars, military coups and other problems, they are happy to be in a country that offers them freedom. They are ready to integrate into the American culture without getting involved in the lingering racial conflicts. They do not typically get involved in the ongoing civil rights struggle – and that has angered many African-Americans. How they react to adversity Perhaps the greatest difference I have seen between African immigrants and African-Americans is how they react to adversity. Most African immigrants to the United States came here for economic advancement. They do not have any political agenda. They are willing to take any job and do not blame the “system” when they fail in their endeavors. Most African immigrants to the United States often live in mixed neighborhoods instead of black neighborhoods and they easily integrate. African immigrants know who they are. They are not easily offended when someone tries to put them down. They know where they come from and why they are here. For African-Americans, there is often a tendency to blame slavery for most of the problems they face today. For instance, when African American students fail in school, some educators blame slavery and do not look for other factors. However, the time has come for African Americans to realize that while racism still persists, the best thing they can do for their children is to teach them to take full responsibility for their actions. Fathers need to take care of their children and young women need to stay in school instead of having children. It is only when black people, be they from Africa or America, unite to instill discipline and respect for each other that the chasm that has divided us will narrow. Then we can finally work together to remove poverty from our people both here in the United States and Africa. Source
  3. Imagine being the daughter of a pastor, from a very strict Christian household, and the praise and worship leader for your church, while secretly being gay. The fear of this inner truth getting out is enough to keep many people with similar circumstances in the closet. Unfortunately, for a very long time, I was one of those people. It wasn’t uncommon for me to hear church folks referencing scriptures about abominations. Or listen to preachers speak about homosexual spirits jumping on individuals. I was fearful of saying anything about my internal secret, so when I was alone, I would plead with God for the “spirit” that must have somehow jumped on me, to go away. The older I became, the more impossible it was to hide the truth of who I was. I found myself dating men as a cover-up, and then made up various reasons to break up with them once I realized things were getting too serious. It was a vicious cycle. I began hating myself for not being able to be freed from this “thing” that was going to keep me out of entering the gates of heaven. After many late nights and early mornings, some serious soul searching, and long conversations with God, I realized his love for me never wavered. Despite my sexual orientation and the things, people tried to force me to believe, the creator knew who and what I was long before I took my very first breath. It took me many years to unlearn the toxic religious rhetoric that kept me in bondage for the majority of my life. Age-old rhetoric passed down from previous generations that are incredibly toxic within the Black community. It took me many years to unlearn the toxic religious rhetoric that kept me in bondage for the majority of my life. Fast-forward to 2017, when I moved to Columbus, OH, and met my fiancé Chyna. We worked for a local nonprofit organization, and although cliché, I was smitten the first time our paths crossed. I previously dated two other women, but I guess as the saying goes, “third time’s a charm.” Initially, we only hung out as friends, and each time I saw her or engaged with her in some way, I felt grateful for the opportunity to be in her presence. It was evident I was falling for her. On the other hand, Chyna never dated a woman, and the idea of our blossoming love was scary in her eyes. She certainly made me work for her heart, but there’s no denying that she is absolutely worth it. The crazy thing about same-sex attractions is that it genuinely makes people uncomfortable. People don’t understand that we are like any couple who love each other unconditionally. The stares, the whispers, and the unsolicited advice made us quickly realize this after we officially began dating. At the time, our burgeoning relationship caused a strain, both personally and professionally. The built-up tension from our employer to numerous family members and some of our friends led Chyna and I to make tough decisions. We had to leave many of those relationships, in the past, exactly where they belong. I believe many people struggle with same-sex relationships because they solely make it all about S-E-X. Still, there’s much more to our love than that. We enjoy each other every day through the simple things that life has to offer, such as watching our favorite shows, making dinner together, or enjoying inside jokes. (You know, just like any regular, heterosexual couple.) Despite it all, we have remained consistent in each other’s lives, and the push back from the world around us has only strengthened the bond that we share. We do well together because she is everything that I AM NOT, and we know how to bring the best out of each other. The crazy thing about same-sex attractions is it genuinely makes people uncomfortable. Although it’s been a long, complicated journey, I’ve come to realize that my only desire is to love myself enough that I am ALWAYS able to give her the best parts of me. You have to love yourself before you can wholeheartedly love someone else. I still have a few people who are close to me that say things like, “living as a homosexual is wrong.” Their views are their own, and I respect that. We are all created to be something different. My truth is obviously not everyone’s truth. But it is the truthfulness that I was called to live because I can only live the life that was designed for me. I can’t live my parent’s truth, and I certainly wouldn’t be any good at trying to live anyone else’s reality. Once I was able to understand this concept in its entirety, I embraced the freedom to live a fearless, authentic, and intentional life. My experiences with church, religion, and homophobia have played a significant role in my decision to further my education in pursuit of studying Multicultural & Equity Studies as a Doctoral candidate. I hope my research raises awareness on the effect of rejection toward LGBTQ people of color and their experiences around “belonging” and “suffering” in the Black community. People must recognize the damaging effects of using God as a vehicle for personal biases, especially in our culture. People must recognize the damaging effects of using God as a vehicle for personal biases, especially in our culture. I was once convinced that God didn’t love me anymore, and it almost took a major toll on me. Regardless of the challenges we’ve faced, Chyna and I haven’t turned our backs on God, and we don’t take for granted the favor that he’s shown in our lives. There are far greater things to worry about than our sexual preferences. I’m spiritually at peace and emotionally wealthy. As far as the church is concerned, we are still looking for a home where we would be welcomed and have the freedom to “come as you are.” Without the attached stigma of “as you are” changing the circumstances if it makes others uncomfortable. We know that it may be difficult for some people, and it’s not our desire to get into a war of “right and wrong.” Until then, we continue to pour into each other and strengthen one another in all aspects, especially now as we embark on our marriage journey. Source What is your relationship with religion or spirituality? What has your journey been like?
  4. A non-profit organisation, Lesbian Equality and Empowerment Initiative, has dragged the Corporate Affairs Commission before the Court of Appeal over the refusal of the CAC to register it. Recall that LGBT activist, Pamela Adie, had in 2018 sued the CAC for refusing to register the organisation, but lost the case. The activist said on Twitter that she had filed a notice of appeal on the judgement delivered by the Federal High Court. She tweeted, “Notice of appeal has been filed in the case of Pamela Adie V CAC. As some of you may be aware, I applied to register a non-profit called Lesbian Equality and Empowerment Initiative but was denied by the Nigerian government agency, CAC, because it said ‘lesbian’ was offensive. “I felt this was an infringement of my constitutional right to freedom of association. My team and I filed a suit against CAC in 2018 at the Federal High Court, Abuja.” Source
  5. FlyJ

    What would you say?

    Copied online* You’re out at a social event with your girlfriend and all of a sudden a female comes up to her and introduce herself. She continues to talk to your GF while completely ignoring that you’re there. The conversation switched to flirtation and you’re getting annoyed by the second. Meanwhile your GF hasn’t stopped the conversation or let her know who you are. The conversation started to come to an end, and she asked your GF could they exchange numbers. When she said it, your GF looked at you. At that moment, what would you say?
  6. The Church of England has stated that sex belongs only within heterosexual marriage, and that sex in gay or straight civil partnerships “falls short of God’s purpose for human beings”. Bishops have issued pastoral guidance in response to the recent introduction to mixed-sex civil partnerships, which says: “For Christians, marriage – that is, the lifelong union between a man and a woman, contracted with the making of vows – remains the proper context for sexual activity.” The church “seeks to uphold that standard” in its approach to civil partnerships, and “to affirm the value of committed, sexually abstinent friendships” within such partnerships. It adds: “Sexual relationships outside heterosexual marriage are regarded as falling short of God’s purpose for human beings.” The affirmation of traditional teaching at a time when the church is undergoing a major review of sexuality and marriage will delight conservatives. The Civil Partnership Act came into force in December 2005, allowing same-sex couples to acquire a legal status and rights in relation to property, inheritance and tax entitlement. In 2013, same-sex marriage was legalised. The C of E does not permit same-sex marriage. It allows clergy to be in same-sex civil partnerships as long as they are sexually abstinent. After the supreme court ruled in 2018 that mixed-sex couples should also have the right to a civil partnership, the law was amended. The first mixed-sex civil partnerships were registered last month. The Rev Dr Malcolm Brown, the C of E’s director of mission and public affairs, said: “Civil partnership is not the same as marriage, which is founded on the taking of solemn public vows and is recognised in the church’s teaching as the only proper context for sexual relationships. “So, as with same-sex civil partnerships, there is no formal service or blessing but clergy will, as always, be encouraged to respond pastorally to couples wishing to formalise their relationship in this way.” This week the C of E House of Bishops issued a new pastoral statement on civil partnerships, restating traditional teaching on sex and marriage. The bishops say that, unlike traditional marriage vows, the legislation on civil partnerships “leaves entirely open the nature of the commitment that members of a couple choose to make to each other when forming a civil partnership. In particular, it is not predicated on the intention to engage in a sexual relationship. “Because of the ambiguity about the place of sexual activity within civil partnerships of both sorts, and the church’s teaching that marriage between a man and a woman is the proper context for sexual intercourse, we do not believe it is possible for the church unconditionally to accept civil partnerships as unequivocally reflecting the teaching of the church.” C of E clergy “should not provide services of blessing for those who register a civil partnership”. The church has been racked by divisions for decades on what it says about and how it deals with LGBT issues. It has embarked on a large study of human sexuality, Living in Love and Faith, which is due to be completed this year. Many LGBT people within the church say they have been made to feel unwelcome, and activists have campaigned for the church to allow same-sex marriage and bless same-sex civil partnerships. Many observers have attributed the church’s stark decline among young people to its stance on LGBT issues. Conservatives in the church are likely to be heartened by the bishops’ statement, which concludes: “The church’s teaching on sexual ethics remains unchanged.” While upholding its position that marriage is a lifelong union between a man and woman, the bishops say the church seeks to “minister sensitively and pastorally to those Christians who conscientiously decide to order their lives differently”. Jayne Ozanne, a campaigner for LGBT rights and a member of the C of E’s ruling body, the General Synod, said: “I’m sadly unsurprised by the content of this statement but I’m deeply saddened by its tone. “It will appear far from ‘pastoral’ to those it discusses and shows little evidence of the ‘radical new Christian inclusion’ that we have been promised. I look forward to the day when the C of E sets its house in order, extends a proper welcome to all and makes confused ‘pastoral statements’ like this redundant.” Linda Woodhead, a professor in the department of politics, philosophy and religion at Lancaster University, said: “The C of E is unable to get over its fixation on homosexuality, which is driving the the national church into a position more like a fundamentalist sect and does not speak to the vast majority of younger people today.” Source
  7. A 20-year-old lesbian was jumped last week in a brutal attack that left her covered in blood and bruises. Charlie Graham was left shaken after two men battered her in the head from behind and threw her to the ground in an incident that has rippled the Sunderland, England, community she calls home. Violence against LGBT+ folk have rocketed in the last five years in England and Wales, but Graham explained that this incident was the fifth time she has been targeted for her sexuality, the Daily Mirror reported. What happened to Charlie Graham? While on her way to meet a friend on Saturday morning, Graham was struck by two men around the Town End Farm. “I got hit from behind by a fist to the back of my head, then I hit the ground, hurting my legs and face,” Graham said. “I tried to get back up, but they pushed me back to the ground and the two guys ran off. “I was left bleeding and scared.” Graham was plagued by headaches and panic attacks since the attack. She remains haunted, however, being the fifth consecutive time she has been targeted for her sexuality. In one previous assault, her eye was split open, requiring stitches. In another, she was left suffering a black eye. “D**e” was hurled at her by a passerby while she walked down a street with her fiends, before being punched in another incident. This spectre of violence has left her terrified and trapped inside her home, believing she will be attacked again. “It has knocked my confidence back,” Graham explained. “I don’t go anywhere by myself anymore. I only feel comfortable at my mum’s house. “I have panic attacks and anxiety attacks just thinking about going home in case they find out where I live and decide to come through the door, or I get attacked in my own home. “I have had people threatening to come through my door and smash the windows in.” Lesbian attacked five times has accepted homophobia as a part of her life. “I think you should be able to be proud of who you are,” Graham said, describing how after repeated assaults, she has accepted homophobia as a fact of her life. “It makes me feel I have got to stay in the house and hide who I am and everything but in this day and age I shouldn’t have to do that. It should be accepted. “I’ve tried not to let it beat me up and get on with my life, but I do worry if it happens again that it is worse than it was before. “It did scare me, but I thought ‘it’s just one of those things’. “It’s happened again. What am I supposed to do about it? “It happens everywhere. It’s my bad luck. “I do look like a boy and I do act like a boy and there is no femininity about me at all. But I am not aggressive, or rowdy and I don’t pick fights. “I have never opened my mouth to anybody.” Source
  8. How is Koyi made? Is that what you have in mind? Koyi is made out of egg with egg. You want to understand the previous statement? Watch this video till the end. Will you try at home?
  9. A German Catholic cardinal, described as “Germany’s most important Catholic”, has said that while gay people can be blessed they should be barred from having a “marriage-like relationship”. Reinhard Marx is a chairman German Bishops’ Conference as well as being a Catholic cardinal. When MPs voted to legalise same-sex marriage in Germany in 2017, he said he was “deeply saddened”. Marx did an interview with German magazine Stern, in which he is described in the piece as “Germany’s most important Catholic”, and he responded to the question “What do you do when a homosexual couple asks you for an episcopal blessing?” He said: “I can bless them both in the sense of pastoral accompaniment, we can pray together. But theirs cannot be a marriage-like relationship.” According to the Catholic News Agency, Marx also said in the interview that he told the Vatican Synod on the Family in 2015 that faithful same-sex couples should not be “negatively bracketed” by the Catholic church, or told that their relationships are worthless. But he also reaffirmed that a union between two people of the same gender “is not a marriage”, and stated that marriage must be between a man and a woman. On the issue of women being ordained in the church, the Catholic cardinal also said that Pope Francis told him “the door is closed”. This month, the former Anglican chaplain to Queen Elizabeth announced that he was converting to Catholicism because the Church of England was too “politically correct” on issues like trans rights. He said of his conversion: “Too often, called upon to defend Christian values, [the Church of England] has remained astonishingly silent. “Nowhere is this starker today than in the highly-charged debate over transgender rights, particularly regarding children and teenagers… Today’s children are bombarded with social media messages sowing doubts about what was a cast-iron certainty of childhood: you are a boy or a girl.” Source
  10. Being sapiosexual means you are attracted more to the mind than to the physical features of someone. You find intelligence extremely sexy. Someone who overuses their brain more than their body is the type of person that turns you on. What’s more, you value beautiful souls over beautiful faces. Money and power have nothing on remarkable minds and thrilling personalities. Here are the 10 most telling signs you are a true sapiosexual. 1. You enjoy deep conversations. One deep meaningful conversation means much more than a hundred small talks for you. The kind of conversation that stimulates your mind inspires you. This makes the person you are talking to utterly attractive. 2. You value intellect over physical appearance. Intelligence turns you on. Of course, the first thing you see in a person is their physical appearance. However, you go beyond that, and your main focus is on people’s intellect. If they lack intelligence, you won’t take them seriously, regardless of their looks. 3. You appreciate emotional intelligence. You know the struggle someone has to go through to gain a certain level of emotional intelligence. That’s why you appreciate it so much. People with the most beautiful minds have learned most painful life lessons. Their strength to move on and use this pain in their favor definitely draws your attention. 4. You take your time to get to know people. People become more attractive to you with time. The more you get to know someone, the more you fall for their intelligence. And this someone might even be a person you weren’t into at the beginning. What makes others appealing for you is the way they see the world, and that’s why you need time to truly get to know them. 5. Bad grammar or slang words grind your gears. You keep your distance from people who don’t know the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’. What’s more, you roll your eyes every time you see ‘wyd’ in a text message. On the other hand, whenever you meet someone who is grammatically correct in both text and face-to-face conversations, you are immediately attracted to them. 6. You don’t believe in love at first sight. For you, love-at-first-sight is almost impossible, because you can’t imagine yourself falling for someone only for their looks. You need to truly be impressed by someone’s mind before you catch feelings. That’s what’s slowing down the process of falling in love for you. 7. You are picky for your partners. Your friends and family will definitely agree on this one. The people around you think you are picky because they don’t understand why it takes so much time for you to settle down. Their minds don’t work like yours, and they find this a bit odd. What they don’t really get is you need time to get to truly know someone until you let them close to your heart and your highly sensitive soul. 8. Material things don’t impress you. While most of the people value money and possessions more than moral principles, you function exactly the opposite way. You don’t really care about the financial status of someone. You are more interested in the investments they make for their minds and souls. 9. You constantly crave new knowledge. You aspire to anything that increases your intelligence and widens your horizons. That’s why you fancy people who constantly work on their self-growth, and are brave enough to welcome any challenge on their way. The perfect date for you would include a deep meaningful conversation, plus lots of eye-gazing and intellectual teasing. That’s why one-night-stands just don’t work for you. 10. You are a great listener. Your listening skills are incredible. One of the things you enjoy the most is listening to someone’s wildest dreams and extraordinary thoughts about the meaning of life. Not only this helps you see various points of view, but seeing someone passionately talking about exciting and knowledgeable topics, makes you awfully attracted to them. Source Any sapiosexual in the house?
  11. Ellen welcomed Sarah and her fiancée Kate, whose photo of her proposing at the Eiffel Tower went viral. Since Kate’s parents do not accept that she’s gay, they will not be attending her wedding, so she took to Twitter to help get Ellen to walk her down the aisle. The couple talked about their story, and Ellen surprised them with a wedding gift from Shutterfly and a visit from their family and friends, and Sarah shocked Kate by proposing to her on the show!
  12. Nigerian gay rights activist Pamela Adie has revealed she was once a side chic to a guy. According to Pamela who, years before she came out as a lesbian, she was the side chic to a guy who is now married with kids to the main chick. In her words: ”On another note, when I thought I was straight, I was a side-chick to one guy back in college. Sometimes the main chic would call right after we just finished nacking and he’d be telling her how much he loved her…lol. It was funny sha. They’re married now…with kids.” Source
  13. Orlando Pride and U.S. Women’s National Team goalkeeper Ashlyn Harris and defender Ali Krieger are one of sport’s most beloved couples. They first met in 2010 at USWNT training camp, where they became fast friends. “I just found her to be so captivating and always wanted to be around her,” Ali says. “She’s someone who seemed so confident and comfortable with herself, and I was so attracted to that.” The two began a romantic relationship, which they kept secret for a long time out of fear of losing endorsement deals, despite the fact that hardcore soccer fans suspected they were a couple long before they ultimately decided to go public. After almost 10 years of dating, they tied the knot over the holidays in a wedding that was a non-stop, weekend-long party and served as a reunion for many of the USWNT team members. It also capped off a World Cup winning season in which these athletes made front-page headlines for their powerful stances off the field as well as their talent on it. Ashlyn and Ali’s official move toward marriage started when Ashlyn asked Ali to marry her in Clearwater, Florida. They were enjoying a weekend away after a long season. Just before dinner, “we headed down to the beach to watch the sunset and take in the beautiful scenery,” Ali remembers. “We had a glass of champagne and then wanted to take photos to capture the moment. I proceeded to take a selfie and Ashlyn’s arm was in the back of the photo. I asked her to put it down and stop being silly, only to realize she had actually been holding the engagement ring the entire time I had been snapping photos. She pulled it around in front of me, and then asked the big question! I was in shock but so happy and excited at the same time. It was an incredible sunset, and just a perfect moment.” Wedding planning kicked off soon after. From the start, the goal was to create a classic, clean environment. “Vizcaya Museum and Gardens [in Miami] is this kind of Mediterranean Castle-like vibe right on the water,” Ali says. “It has this European feel that we were going for, so right when we walked into the venue for the first time, we were like, ‘Oh my God! It’s breathtaking. This is it!’” The couple worked with Sara Lowell from Sara Renee Events to bring their vision to life. “She’s so badass and beautiful and just absolutely crushed it for us,” Ali says. “We’re so grateful for her and her incredible team of fantastic people working to make our dreams a reality.” “Ali and I really wanted to align ourselves with people and brands that spoke to our soul and were really about nonconforming and understood the same vision we were going for,” Ashlyn adds. “I just wanted to feel like we could fully express ourselves, our sexuality, and our community.” To that end, Ashlyn wore Thom Browne, the designer she turns to for all of her red carpet events, and a TAG Heuer Monaco watch. Thom Browne dresses the Barcelona soccer team, which is how Ashlyn first became acquainted with the brand. “Honestly, I love that it’s all very gender neutral, very fluid, there are women in dresses and men in dress, and men and women in skirts. I can really feel how he expresses himself through clothes. It’s just so nonconforming and so far out. I’ve been wearing his stuff ever since.” She and the Thom Browne team created a custom tuxedo with a beaded argyle pattern for the wedding day. Like a lot of brides on the hunt for the right dress, Ali took a weekend trip to New York City with her best friend and maid of honor, Elizabeth Mumley, to search for her wedding gown. They found a Pronovias fit and flare dress with long sleeves and a V in the back that was exactly what she wanted. “I tried it on, and I knew it was the one!” she says of the “Helio” gown. “I fell in love and knew I would get married in this dress. It’s simple but sophisticated and elegant at the same time. I have personally always loved Pronovias. It’s a brand with which I think I share a lot of values as they believe in inclusivity and diversity.” On Saturday, December 28, just three days after Christmas, the couple married in the round so that friends and family could see the ceremony and feel part of it. “We wanted simple white flowers and a rose-petal-strewn aisle,” Ali says. “We also wanted to walk ourselves down the aisle as strong, confident, independent women. We felt like it was right.” Ashlyn’s best friend, USWNT team captain and the World Cup’s MVP, Megan Rapinoe, served as maid of honor; Ali’s brother, Kyle Krieger, was best man; and Orlando Pride player Sydney Leroux was the officiant. For the reception afterward, guests found their seats at tables named after LGBTQ icons including Marsha P. Johnson—a pioneering activist known for her role in the Stonewall uprising—and Anderson Cooper. Dena Lowell Blauschild and The Cook and the Cork catered a colorful menu with an incredible attention to detail. And just before the party really got started, Ali changed into the Condesa dress, also by Pronovias. “I wanted to make it into a mini dress but keep the train, so I customized the hem to give it a high-low effect,” she says. “It was very nice to be able to dance without worrying!” Meanwhile, Ashlyn seemed to strip off components of her wedding ensemble as the night went on—her pants were switched out for shorts and her tuxedo jacket was traded in for a sleeveless shirt and vest, also by Thom Browne, which allowed her to dance more freely. The newlyweds cut their rainbow cake and did their first dance to a live, acoustic version of Kina Grannis’s “Stand by Me.” Toasts were given over the course of the evening, with Ali’s brother Kyle voicing the sentiments so many there (and those taking in the festivities from afar via Instagram) were feeling: “Since you went public with your relationship, it has been a gift to watch you grow together. It’s amazing because you guys are like a beacon of light for all young queer LGBTQ women and men who just need someone to look up to, like we get happy endings too. In the media and the movies, so often...you know, queer stories have a devastating ending, but not here. In real life, we get to see you guys live the dream.” Source
  14. Honey has been reported to have an inhibitory effect on around 60 species of bacteria, some species of fungi and viruses The benefits are explained below: Healthy sweetener: It can be used as a substitute for sugar in many foods and drinks. It contains about 69 per cent glucose and fructose, enabling it to be used as a sweetener which is far better for one’s overall health than normal white sugar. Weight loss: Though it has more calories than sugar, honey helps in digesting the fat stored in one’s body. Similarly, honey with lemon juice or cinnamon helps in reducing weight. Provides relief for cough: In 2012, a research was conducted on 300 children of age one to five years to find out the effect of honey on nocturnal cough and sleep quality. The results published in the Pediatrics Journals showed that honey could be a preferable treatment for a cough and sleep difficulty associated with childhood upper respiratory tract infections. Boosts energy: According to the USDA, honey contains about 64 calories per tablespoon ; therefore, it is used by many people as a source of energy. Furthermore, the carbohydrates in it can be easily converted into glucose since it is simple for the body to digest this pure and natural substance. Improves performance: Research has shown that honey is effective in boosting an athlete’s performance. It is a great way to maintain blood sugar levels, recuperate muscles, and restore glycogen after a workout. Improves memory: Honey contains polyphenols that can significantly improve the memory-related functions of the brain. It counters deficits in recall functions and induces memory formation at the molecular level. It is this modulation of neural circuitry that helps in improving memory. Research on Tualang honey, multi-floral honey found in Malaysia, showed that its intake improves the brain morphology to improve various learning and memory functions. Rich in vitamins and minerals: It contains a variety of vitamins and minerals. The type of vitamins, minerals and their quantity depend on the type of flowers used for apiculture. Commonly, honey contains vitamin C, calcium, and iron. Antiseptic property: It has anti-bacterial and anti-fungal properties, so it is often used as a natural antiseptic in traditional medicines. In-vitro tests on different medical-grade honeys showed potent bactericidal activity even in the presence of antibiotic-resistant bacteria that cause life-threatening infections in humans. However, the antimicrobial activity depends on the source of nectar. Antioxidant properties: It contains nutraceuticals highly effective for the removal of free radicals from the body. As a result, one’s body immunity is improved against many chronic health conditions. A study on the antioxidant properties of honey, published in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry, attributed these qualities to the presence of a wide range of compounds, which include phenolics, peptides, Maillard reaction products, organic acids, enzymes, and other minor components. Anticancer properties: A review published in the journal Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine found that there is growing evidence of honey’s anticancer potential. This is displayed by its antiproliferative, apoptosis, antimutagenic and anti-inflammatory properties. However, the floral source also decides its properties. Another article published in the same journal pointed out that as a natural substance, honey is a sustainable and low-cost option in cancer care in developing nations. Skin and hair care: Milk and honey are often served together since both of these ingredients help in creating smooth, beautiful skin. Consuming this combination every morning is a common practice in many countries for this reason. A study published in the European Journal of Medical Research investigated and confirmed the use of honey for dandruff and dermatitis. It said that crude honey could markedly improve seborrheic dermatitis, its associated hair loss and prevent relapse when applied weekly. Speeds wound healing: Significant research is being carried out to study its benefits in the treatment of wounds. These have been listed below: honey possesses antimicrobial properties, helps in promoting autolytic debridement and deodorises malodorous wounds. It also speeds up the healing process by stimulating wound tissues and helps in initiating the healing process in dormant wounds. These healing powers are not overstated. The Waikato Honey Research Unit provides details about the worldwide research being carried out on the benefits of honey in medicine. According to a British Broadcasting Corporation report ; doctors at the Christie Hospital in Didsbury, Manchester are planning to use it for faster recovery of cancer patients after surgery. Such research will provide scientific evidence for the beliefs held by honey lovers all over the world and will help in propagating the benefits to more people. The Russians used honey in World War I to prevent wound infection and to accelerate wound healing. The Germans combined cod liver oil and honey to treat ulcers, burns, fistulas and boils . Nearly all types of wounds like abrasion, abscess, amputation, bed sores /decubitus ulcers, burns, chill blains, burst abdominal wound, cracked nipples, fistulas, diabetic, malignant, leprosy, traumatic, cervical, varicose and sickle cell ulcers, septic wounds, surgical wound or wounds of abdominal wall and perineum are found to be responsive to honey therapy. Application of honey as wound dressing leads to stimulation of healing process and rapidly clears the infection. Honey has cleansing action on wounds, stimulates tissue regeneration and reduces inflammation. Honey impregnated pads act as non-adhesive tissue dressing . Opthalmology and honey Honey is used worldwide for the treatment of various ophthalmological conditions like blepharitis, keratitis, conjunctivitis, corneal injuries, chemical and thermal burns to the eyes . In one study, with topical application of honey as ointment, in 102 patients with non responsive eye disorders, improvement was seen in 85 per cent patients and in the remaining 15 per cent there was no disease progression. Application of honey in infective conjunctivitis reduced redness, swelling, pus discharge and time to bacterial eradication. Helps for digestive issues Honey is sometimes used to treat digestive issues such as diarrhoea, though there is not much research to show that it works. It is proven to be effective as a treatment for Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori) bacteria, a common cause of stomach ulcers. It is also a potent prebiotic. Prebiotics are a special form of dietary fiber that acts as a fertiliser for the good bacteria in your gut. Soothes sore throat Have a cold? Try a spoonful of honey. Honey is an old sore throat remedy. Add it to hot tea with lemon when a cold virus hits you. It also works as a cough suppressant. Research has suggested that honey is as effective as dextromethorphan, a common ingredient in over-the-counter cough medication. Just take one or two teaspoonfuls of honey straight. Antiviral effect of honey In addition to antibacterial and antifungal effects, natural honey has showed antiviral effect. Al-Waili (2004) investigated the effect of the topical application of honey on recurrent attacks of herpes lesions and concluded that topical honey application was safe and effective in the management of the signs and symptoms of recurrent lesions from labial and genital herpes compared to acyclovir cream. Honey has also been reported to have inhibitory effects on rubella virus activity . Prevents acid reflux Research has shown that honey can reduce the upward flow of stomach acid and undigested food by lining the esophagus and stomach. This has helped to reduce the risk of gastroesophageal reflux disease. GERD can cause inflammation, acid reflux, and heartburn. Now that you know the benefits of honey, how do you eat it? You can eat it raw, add it to water or different beverages, and you can also add it to several recipes. Honey is natural and considered harmless for adults. But pediatricians strongly caution against feeding honey to children under one year old.This is because of the risk of botulism. The spores of the botulism bacteria are found in dust and soil that may make their way into honey. According to Jatinder Bhatia , MD , a Georgia neonatologist who heads the American Academy of Pediatrics’ Committee on Nutrition, infants do not have a developed immune system to defend against infection. For diabetics, they should consult their doctors before including honey in their diets. The major problem is how to get pure honey; most of the honey you find in grocery stores are pasteurised. Many of the beneficial nutrients are destroyed in the process. If you are interested in trying raw honey, buy it from a trusted local producer. Source
  15. Many Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer [LGBTQ] Nigerians choose to remain in the closet mostly because of homophobia and the fear of rejection. However, some get tired of hiding their sexuality and decide to come out to family and friends. But often, many face rejection; while a few are lucky to have supportive families. But Bryan could be considered as one of the brave ones who choose to live their true and authentic life regardless of the possible negative outcome. In a recent chat conversation on Whatsapp, Bryan, a Lagos-based Nigerian youth decided to open up to his brother about his sexuality but was shocked at the response that he received. Source
  16. No fewer than 15 homosexuals were arrested in Kano during a party they allegedly organised last Thursday. It was gathered the Sharia law enforcement operatives stormed an event centre,along Ahmadu Bello way and a compound located at Sabuwar-Gandu quarters in Kano metropolis and apprehended the gays. The arrest took place before the planned party took off. The Nation learnt that the organisers of the party were new graduands who planned the party to celebrate their graduation from the “institution”. It was learnt each of them was said to have invited their same sex partners to the party. The DCG, Special Duties,Muhammadu Anbakary,who confirmed the arrest of the suspected same sex party organizers,said 15 of them are in custody. He added over 50 gays were involved, but many of the suspects fled during the operation. He said the operation was based on intelligence reports gathered by Hisbah operatives. He said the suspects arrested by Hisbah are currently undergoing reorientation programmes. Source
  17. A recent study led by researchers from the National University of Singapore (NUS) revealed that regular tea drinkers have better organised brain regions -- and this is associated with healthy cognitive function -- compared to non-tea drinkers. The research team made this discovery after examining neuroimaging data of 36 older adults. "Our results offer the first evidence of positive contribution of tea drinking to brain structure, and suggest that drinking tea regularly has a protective effect against age-related decline in brain organisation," explained team leader Assistant Professor Feng Lei, who is from the Department of Psychological Medicine at the NUS Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine. The research was carried out together with collaborators from the University of Essex and University of Cambridge, and the findings were published in scientific journal Aging on 14 June 2019. Benefits of regular intake of tea Past studies have demonstrated that tea intake is beneficial to human health, and the positive effects include mood improvement and cardiovascular disease prevention. In fact, results of a longitudinal study led by Asst Prof Feng which was published in 2017 showed that daily consumption of tea can reduce the risk of cognitive decline in older persons by 50 per cent. Following this discovery, Asst Prof Feng and his team further explored the direct effect of tea on brain networks. The research team recruited 36 adults aged 60 and above, and gathered data about their health, lifestyle, and psychological well-being. The elderly participants also had to undergo neuropsychological tests and magnetic resonance imaging (MRI). The study was carried out from 2015 to 2018. Upon analysing the participants' cognitive performance and imaging results, the research team found that individuals who consumed either green tea, oolong tea, or black tea at least four times a week for about 25 years had brain regions that were interconnected in a more efficient way. "Take the analogy of road traffic as an example -- consider brain regions as destinations, while the connections between brain regions are roads. When a road system is better organised, the movement of vehicles and passengers is more efficient and uses less resources. Similarly, when the connections between brain regions are more structured, information processing can be performed more efficiently," explained Asst Prof Feng. He added, "We have shown in our previous studies that tea drinkers had better cognitive function as compared to non-tea drinkers. Our current results relating to brain network indirectly support our previous findings by showing that the positive effects of regular tea drinking are the result of improved brain organisation brought about by preventing disruption to interregional connections." Source
  18. Five years ago, the Nigerian government signed the Same Sex Marriage Prohibition Act, essentially banning gay relationships. Activists say the law has worsened discrimination against sexual minorities in the highly religious country. They also claim there’s been a rise in instances of extortion and blackmail of the LGBTQI+ community by security forces. Half a decade after the law passed, our correspondent Mayeni Jones investigates what life is really like for Nigeria’s gay community. Source
  19. How to come out as gay: Atta recommends telling somebody that you trust first. After you’ve got one ally, “you have your support and I think the rest gets easier from there,” he explains. For him, navigating his identity became easier once he found black, queer communities that he felt he belonged to. Lastly, do not worry about when you come out, he says. “It doesn’t have to be on National Coming Out Day, it could be any day because that will be your national coming out day.” Source
  20. An old short film with a gay character played by a Nigerian seems to have a lesson for us all. It sort of reawakens and enforces the need to sometimes question some of our beliefs and values. The 2013 short film ‘Siri Oko Fo [Mending Fences]’ explored the life of an interracial gay couple living abroad. Nigerian filmmaker Ebbe Bassey was the Executive Director of the film and the producers are Josh Hetzler and Ed Ro. Starring in the film are Ebbe Bassey, Aminah James, Kola Ogundiran, and Ash Roeca. Other themes explored in the film are love, family bonds, same-sex parenting, and female genital mutilation in Nigeria. Also, the film made its debut at the 2008 Cannes International Film Festival in Nice, France and has gone on to screen at other festivals such as the Hollywood Black Film Festival (Los Angeles), Urban World Film Festival (New York), etc. In a country where so many people do not understand what it truly means to be gay, films such as this, are means through which people can learn and understand the struggles and realities of being gay and Nigerian. Source
  21. Gesare Chife said she visited Eastern Nigeria for the first time and what struck her was the land left uncultivated, which is something unusual in Kenya. Source
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