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Nigerian human rights activist and feminist Dorothy Akenova shares her personal story about growing up and reasons why she has been advocating for the social inclusion and acceptance of LGBT people in Nigeria. I was a victim of differential treatment as a child. I fought my way through it to get the same educational opportunities as my male siblings. I fought my way over dress codes within the family. I was always defending myself and got physical beatings regularly for asserting myself. I grew up with the capability of spotting the difference in how people were treated. I analysed the socio-political contexts that I lived in and was always aware of inequality, particularly between men and women. Working with a women’s health organisation helped me to organise my thoughts and contextualize my response. It also helped me to institutionalize my response and helped me to expand my analysis and scope of engagement beyond me and my friends to the broader society. I call myself a feminist because I am able to challenge situations of inequality, design and implement interventions to bring about change. Integrity, diversity and choice are the values that I hold dear. I have been part of the group of feminists and human rights activists who have worked to shift the paradigm of “sexual reproductive health rights”; two separate but related focuses on sexual health and rights and reproductive health and rights. I have advocated over the years for attention to and respect for sexual rights, especially for sexual minorities. I have also been part of the movement to shift a focus from pathology in dealing with sexual health, to a focus on rights. I am vocal about the need to use sexual pleasure as an entry point for addressing women’s health and rights issues. We need to place the positive aspects of sex and sexuality at the centre of our interventions, and not just try and make people change their behaviour out of fear. In my work I continue to train and advocate at a community level and around Nigerian government policies, and I’m also part of activist networks that are pushing for the respect of sexual and human rights of sexual minorities at the United Nations and in the African regional level. I am motivated to make a difference. In my view the more orgasms that are out there, under conditions that are safe and respectful of rights, the more motivated I am to continue my work, and inspired that change is in fact happening. Source

Septuagenarian General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), Pastor Enoch Adejare Adeboye, has declared that he can kill anyone who tampers with his beloved wife, Pastor (Mrs) Foluke Adeboye, for love. Delivering his message on ‘Activating Your Destiny’ at the Throne of Grace parish and National Headquarters of RCCG, Ebutte Meta, Lagos on Sunday, monitored on Facebook from Warri, the revered man of God said 50 years after his wedding, he was still in honey moon with his heartthrob. Explaining how he would execute the ‘killing,’ Daddy G.O, as he’s fondly called, said he would not do it physically, but report such fellow to his Father (God) and the person would pass on in his or her sleep. His words: “Be ready to lay down your life for your partner if you’re truly in love. My wife doesn’t like me saying this: “You can slap me; you can lie against me, you can criticise me, it doesn’t bother me, but touch my wife, I’ll kill you! “I want the world to hear. They’ll say if I killed they’ll arrest me, jail me, that is if I killed with cutlass or gun. If you tamper with my wife, I will talk to my Daddy and you’ll sleep and will not wake.” The declaration was greeted with thunderous cheers from the worshippers who were there in their thousands to worship and celebrate with the couple. Adeboye was in golden colour suit while his wife was also clad in a golden colour attire to mark the golden jubilee of their marriage at the RCCG headquarters on Sunday. He enjoined youths, who are ripe for marriage, not no marry for money, beauty and influence, which, he said, were ephemeral, but for love, which he said, was God and eternal. He, however, perhaps jocularly added that if they wanted to marry for influence, they should opt for pastors whose influence, he claimed, endures if they remained in Christ Jesus. “If you want to marry a person who’s influential, marry a pastor. If he does not fall into sin, he’ll remain a pastor forever,” he noted. Pastor Adeboye, whose marriage clocks 50 on September 8, 2017, reiterated the need for youths to marry for love as he did. Giving reminiscences on his early days in marriage, he said: “Marry for love. It’ll endure. I’ve been married for 50 years and still on honey moon. I was the poorest among those lurking around the girl I married. “One was a lawyer who had a car; I had nothing. But I told the girl that of you marry me, whatever I am, wherever I ever become will be yours.” He said his wife cherished his 100 per cent honesty and opted for him in marriage, adding that although things were initially hard, because they were in love, they pulled through. Adeboye also informed the gathering that he graduated from the university in June and got married in September of 1967 after he had barely collected two months salary from the teaching job he got. According to him, after their wedding that was conducted without a cake which they could not afford, they immediately resumed work the following working day where they were teaching without going for honey moon. “I was not a Christian, but i was an incurable optimist. We struggled over ‘pomo’ as I usually hear me say, but today if we want to eat a cow now, God will provide. “After our wedding in September 8,1967, we faced challenges. The baby came 1968. It was tough. We were happy because we were in love. I had no car, no house, a married into a rented room and a parlour. We have stories to tell. If you marry for love, the reason it will last is because God is love, ” he enthused. Adeboye went to substantiate why love matters above other considerations. He described love as fire as contained in Hebrews 12:29 and that the fire must be tended to keep it burning. He identified what keeps love burning between couples as gifts, no matter how little. “You must continue to tend the fire., meaning: no matter how little, you must constantly give gifts to your partner. If it’s given in love, it’ll be appreciated. “When two people are in love, they exchange gifts. Always open your mouth to say to your partner “I love you, ” the holiness preacher urged couples. He added that his love for his wife is so intense that each time he travelled abroad or anywhere for assignments, he would never do without putting a call across to his wife at least once in a day, just as he’s always eager to return to the waiting arms if his wife and home. The couple, after the message, were led to cut their 50th wedding anniversary cake and a Thanksgiving followed as they danced with their children and grandchildren before the altar where they were prayed for. The man of God prayed for the healing of marriages on trials, youths who are about making choices and every other attendee at the service. Source

Nigerian lady who goes by the name Etz Cici Olamide on Facebook, shared these photos of her kissing and posing with her partner, Ajoke. Ajoke replied saying: Source

"We are in this for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, in recession and in economic bloom" - Osasu Igbinedion's remarks on the unity of Nigeria. Thoughts on her speech?

If you came out today, which member of your family do you think would come around to accepting you first? Give a reason for your selection.

But once Mayweather began to find his range and McGregor wearied rapidly, there was only going to be one winner. The 40-year-old American scored at will after the fourth round, snapping back McGregor’s head with a series of stinging blows. McGregor somehow survived an onslaught in the seventh round when a right counter from Mayweather staggered him badly. Finally McGregor’s resistance broke in the 10th when a Mayweather right sent him lurching across the ring. A hard left put him on the ropes and another hook saw him bent over and helpless, prompting the stoppage. The fight had followed a largely expected script but McGregor, in his first ever boxing appearance, by no means embarrassed himself. Mayweather will now head into what he says is a permanent retirement with a perfect 50-0 record, one better than heavyweight legend Rocky Marciano. The American is also expected to be around $200 million wealthier, taking his career earnings to around $1 billion. McGregor, who was an unemployed former plumber four years ago before emerging as one of the biggest stars of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, is expected to earn around $100 million. Source

Imagine you were set up on a blind date by a friend who knows you very well. The date arrives and she is definitely your type. However, there is a big 'but'. She has a pronounced body and or mouth odour. What would you do? Ask her on a second date or rule her out entirely.

A white woman, from South Carolina, has become an internet sensation after a video of her beating up a racist white woman emerged. The video quickly went viral as soon as it was uploaded on social media on Wednesday. In the video, a big loud-mouthed white woman in a blue dress is seen in a Florida hotel lobby threatening to shoot the hero, Colleen Dagg in the head. According to reports, the racist woman had made a racist comment about Haitians and Colleen called her to order so she became aggressive. As she continued with the threats, Colleen is seeing taking off her shoes and explaining that it was in case she needed to defend herself from the racist woman. The time came really quick as the racist woman gets in Colleen's face and hits her. Immediately, the fight took a surprising twist as Colleen is seen overpowering the woman and beating her so hard until hotel staff came to pull her off. At this point, the racist woman starts crying and playing the victim. She then said she's three-months pregnant and she'll make sure Colleen goes to jail for hitting her while pregnant. She tried to break free from the security men to continue fighting Colleen but they held her back. Uniformed officers soon arrived and the racist woman refused to mention the part she played in the fight but put all the blame on Colleen. She informed them that Colleen attacked and beat her and she's pregnant. Luckily, the entire incident was caught on camera to show who was at fault. Soon after the video went viral, black people on Facebook and Twitter called Colleen a hero and invited her to cookouts. Colleen, who has a biracial child, later took to social media to explain why she stood her ground against the racist white woman. See her explanation and a video of the fight below. Source

The ill thought out remarks by Presidential spokesman, Garba Shehu, to the effect that rodents had damaged the President's office, forcing him to work from home should not come as a surprise to discerning Nigerians and neither should we blame Mr. Shehu for the infantile lie. You see, once the decision had been reached at the highest levels to be less than transparent about President Muhammadu Buhari's health situation, there was really nothing much that his media aides could do. If I was Garba Shehu, what I would have said is that the President has a backlog of work and so had to cancel FEC and focus fully on clearing this backlog from home! It would not be a lie being that the President is always on call 24/7. As a Presidential spokesman, lying is the last thing you want to do. Your job is to find creative, but not dishonest, ways to make the bitter truth palatable to the general public. Lack of creativity is a greater liability to a Presidential spokesman than lack of funds. And the remark itself (“Following the three months’ period of disuse, rodents have caused a lot of damage to the furniture and the air conditioning units") reminds me of the iconic movie, Of Mice and Men. Of Mice and Men is a 1937 book by John Steinbeck, which got made into a movie. It tells the tale of of two California migrants workers who roam from town to town during the Great Depression in search of greener pastures. How fitting that the lie told by Mr. Shehu should dovetail into Steinbeck's classic. Just like in Of Mice and Men, we have a migrant President who moves back and forth from London to Abuja. And again like Steinbeck's classic, he does so in a depression. The only difference is that while George Milton and Lennie Small were the victims of a depression caused by others, President Muhammadu Buhari is not a victim but a perpetrator of the fastest negative turnaround of an economy from the third fastest growing economy in the world to an economy in recession. There are many other parallels one can draw from the movie and the comedy the Buhari administration is unleashing on the nation, but one has to be careful in drawing attention to them especially in these days that the military is scouring social media for "anti-government and anti-military information". But I just wonder how Garba could have said ?"Rodents have caused a lot of damage to the President's office" with a straight face! Really Garba Shehu! There should be limits to propaganda. It is only in Nigeria that "rodents" will chase a lion away from his den! Garba, please you should be too decent for this, leave lies for Lai Mohammed! If President Muhammadu Buhari is not strong enough to go to the office, simply say the truth and shame the devil. I have been in the President of Nigeria's office. It is cleaned everyday. I also had an office in the villa and I traveled abroad for a long period and nothing happened to my office. The Presidency has projected President Buhari as an anti-corruption crusader with strong integrity and credibility. Such infantile lies as this rat story rubbishes that image! It also portrays the Buhari administration as a government severely deficient in intelligence! Almost every international news agency carried the ridiculous story in a way that belittled Nigeria. BBC, AFP, RFI and even China Xinhua News! Worldwide the Muhammadu Buhari administration has turned Nigeria into an international joke because of an inept President and his inept aides! I mean it is just clear that the President still needs to recover and that he only returned because the pressure from Charly Boy's #ReturnorResign group had become unbearable, especially when they announced that they had gotten a permit from the Metropolitan Police in London to protest outside Abuja House. Of all things to use as an excuse, it has to be rats! If you are wondering why the rats in your city have reduced, wonder no more. They have all relocated to seek greener pastures at Aso Rock! But on a serious note though, President Yar'adua left Nigeria on November 23, 2009 and did not return until February 10, 2010. Thereafter he was at the Presidential Villa until he died on May 5, 2010. For a period of 6 months, his office was vacant until Dr. Goodluck Jonathan succeeded him. In all that time, rodents never destroyed his office. Which just makes you wonder the type of rodents that exist in Aso Rock under President Muhammadu Buhari the man who promised Nigerians change but ended up giving those who voted him as President chains! As for the Nigerian military who will now monitor social media for "anti-government information", I can only say what a lovely change! Did I hear you say chains! Can any comment be more "anti-government" than this comment made by Buhari on May 15, 2012 "by the grace of God, the dog and the baboon would all be soaked in blood"? And can any comment be anti Nigerian than this comment made by the same man on July 25, 2015 "The constituents, for example, gave me 97% cannot in all honesty be treated on some issues with constituencies that gave me 5%"? So funny when the father of hate speech and the king pin of anti-government talk now wants to deal with those who have not even come close to doing what he has done! And after His misspeak on why the President had to work from home, ?Garba Shehu followed up with a statement warning that the Presidency will henceforth not tolerate harsh words being used on President Muhammadu Buhari and said "calling Buhari an enemy of Nigeria was in extremely bad taste". Is this not the same Buhari that said on May 15, 2012 and I quote "the biggest Boko Haram is the Federal Government.” Buhari called the government of Goodluck Jonathan a Boko Haram government without providing proof and now complains about being criticized! Mr. President, buy a mirror and arrest the person you see in it as an example of your zero tolerance for "harsh words"! These shenanigans are annoying enough, but to add salt to injury, along comes Yahaya Bello! ?To show how useless governance has become under the APC, Yahaya Bello, a state Governor declares a public holiday to celebrate President Muhammadu Buhari's return! Now, I sympathize with President Buhari, but aren't public holidays meant to be for events pertaining to a nation's history? President Buhari has been a resident of the U.K. for over a hundred days, has he ever known the U.K. to proclaim a public holiday because the Queen returned from hospital? Our army killed at least 347 Shiite men, women, children and infants, our Air Force killed 119 people at the Rann IDP camp in a mistaken bombing. We did not declare any national mourning. Yet we declare a public holiday for Buhari's return! This is the height of sycophancy! Well, enough about the Presidency's ineptitude and comedic behavior, let me change the mood of this piece and enter second base. Someone tell Oby Ezekwesili that it is hypocritical to complain about a soup you helped cook just because you were not given your share! She was used to bring down a good man and thereafter dumped and now she is bitter and she wants to feign that she is one of us who are genuinely opposing a dictatorial and clueless government for patriotic reasons! Where are her fellow #BringBackOurGirls colleagues? Are they not now holding very, very, very juicy positions in President Muhammadu Buhari's government? She is a woman scorned because her lover (APC) enjoyed her pleasures but refused to marry her. Now she wants to use Nigerians to get her revenge! We are not that foolish! Imagine Oby Ezekwesili complaining of President Muhammadu Buhari's "missed opportunity". She is one of those who helped him get the opportunity to miss an opportunity! It is an insult to our sensibilities for this woman to start wailing like she is doing! Has she forgotten when she was giving keynote speeches at All Progressive Congress events where she demonized former President Jonathan and deified Buhari by calling him a "discipline instilling" leader on March 7, 2014? Did it occur to her at that event that she was empowering the very person she is now denouncing? People like Oby are like the bush rat that Chinua Achebe wrote about. They bite you and blow breeze on your wounds so you won't know the damage they have caused. If Oby wants to know who is responsible for bringing Buhari to power, I can buy her a mirror. I assure her it won't be a pretty sight! Oby Ezekwesili is a sanctimonious hypocrite who likes to criticize but does not like to be criticized. She once threatened to report me to then President Jonathan when I responded to her criticism, as if Dr. Jonathan "gives a damn" about her opinions! The sad thing is that everybody, but especially her Southeastern kith and kin, knows she was used and dumped by people who know only too well her real nature. I suspect that her bitterness is that she could not attain the heights Ngozi Okonjo Iweala has attained and is still attaining. Now she continues to prance about giving subdued messages to the Buhari administration because she knows that if she unleashes on them like she unleashed on Jonathan she will be taught the difference between a democrat and a dictator! Oby, in case you do not know, you are a figure of scorn in the Southeast zone where you come from and considered a Quisling in the other zones of the federation. Reno's Nuggets When you make it, women will flock around you. Tantalizing as they are, don't forget the one who was there before you made it-mum! The love of your life can't divorce you, can't be separated from you and won't sue you. After God, your mother is the love of your life. Finally, marrying a girl because of sex is like buying a car because of its sound system. You will enjoy it, but you won't go anywhere #RenosNuggets Source

Former President Olusegun Obasanjo has disagreed with some members of the political class that has been calling for the restructuring of Nigeria. In a recent interview with Channels TV, Obasanjo said what Nigeria needs urgently is the restructuring of our mentality and not the country. According to him, restructuring our mentality on the kind of country we want and working towards it would get us the kind of country we so much desire to have. "I have asked six different people who talk about restructuring and six of them gave me different point of views. The other day some people even came to me and what they were talking about doesn't make sense. We have a country that God has endowed. Now the management of that endowment is what we all have to put all our hands on. All hands must be on deck and look at how to deal with it. Some of them are nostalgic about the independence that they are restructuring. Some of them are nostalgic about immediate post independence. Some of them are nostalgic about their tribe. That is their restructuring. I cannot be part of that. My own restructuring is that we have to restructure our mentality. We have to restructure our mind. We have to restructure our understanding of Nigeria. What country do we want? If we decide on what country we want, then how do we get that country. How do we get the inclusiveness? How d we get every Nigerian feeling a sense of having a stake in the country?". Source

All batteries have an expiry date. Same is true for smartphones’ batteries. However, the way you use your smartphone also goes a long way in deciding the longevity of your device’s battery. As such, there are few phone charging habits you can implement in your daily life that can increase the lifespan of your battery. According to Jumia Travel, here are seven tips on how to charge your smartphone and make its battery last longer. Fast chargers are not always the best option Using a fast charger might not be the best thing for your battery’s health. This process involves a higher voltage to be sent to the phone’s battery which results in a rapid rise in temperature. Your phone may even explode as a result of this. Charge your phone with its own charger Always charge your phone with its own charger. Unlike laptops, smartphones use a universal charging interface. However, if the charger you use does not match the original, it will affect battery performance. Remove protective case while charging You might have noticed while your phone is charging, it becomes slightly warm. So, make sure to remove the phone’s protective case while charging. This can act as a barrier and slow down the heat. Don’t use cheap chargers from unknown manufacturers Avoid cheap chargers from unknown manufacturers. They do not include any safety advice to protect against overcharging. Know that adapter failure could permanently damage both your battery and phone. Never leave your phone to charge overnight There are many people who leave their phone plugged in overnight for charging. You just need to stop this habit. Charging overnight affects battery longevity, and it also makes your smartphone overheat. Always charge up to 80 per cent Eighty per cent charge is enough for a day, and it is good for your overall battery lifespan. Crossing the 80 per cent mark can make your battery to overheat, thereby affecting the battery’s life. Avoid charging the phone repeatedly Smartphones should not be charged repeatedly. The rule of thumb should be not to charge until the phone’s battery is up to 20 per cent. #Takeaway Six smartphone battery myths you should stop believing Batteries are one of the most integral parts of any smartphone. A clumsy battery can break down a smartphone like nothing else. But alas, the world of batteries is overflowing with myths, according to www.guidingtech.com. I can leave the charger on forever Well, practically yes, you can. If you don’t love your cell phone at all or you change your devices too often. But if you care for a longer life of your battery, then the best way to charge is not going over 80 or below 10. Every battery comes with a fixed amount of cycles and these cycles tend to wear off the more you charge your phone. In fact, charging your battery to 80 per cent on a regular basis is shown to increase its life by 200 per cent So, do make sure that you maintain the sweet spot of the battery — 10 per cent and 80 per cent, with an occasional zero per cent discharge to calibrate the battery life. Closing apps will save battery If you are one who swears by the mantra that closing apps will improve battery (and performance), then you are in for some news. The fact is closing apps does more harm than good. Chances are that you might actually end up draining more battery juice in the process. Closing an app suddenly might result in losing data. Also if the phone needs to restart the app again, that will require more CPU resources and hence, more battery. Letting the battery drain to zero per cent every day This again is a tale from the ancient days of Nickel Cadmium batteries of the 80-90s. Nickel cadmium batteries had the memory effect, which essentially gave rise to this myth. After these batteries were recharged for a couple of times, they would forget their full capacity and eventually weren’t able to hold the charge. The discharging was done to reset the ‘memory’. The Lithium-ion batteries used nowadays have a smarter way of power management. It counts a cycle when you have used 100 per cent of the battery in multiple uses. For instance, if you used 40 per cent today, and 20 per cent on two consecutive days, then only it would call for one cycle. 4G drains the battery faster It’s true that radio signal consumes lesser resource than cellular data. However, that should never be the cause of your battery life going for a dive. If you have a good quality SIM from a reliable operator, then it shouldn’t be the cause of a meltdown. A 5000 mAh power bank will yield two full charges Often, it’s assumed that a 5000 mAh power bank will be able to yield two full charges for your 2500 mAh battery. How did we arrive at the conclusion? Simple, just dividing the capacity by the full power. But that’s not how simple as it seems. The catch is the voltage at which it charges. The power rating of a power bank is calculated at 3.7 volts whereas the phone charges at 5 volts. Only when a step-down in the voltage is made that the right number of charge cycles can be determined. So, the next time you are on a lookout for a power bank, do make sure to do the math. Charging through a laptop may damage the battery Again a misconception, charging a phone through a laptop will only yield a slower charge and nothing more. This won’t harm the battery in any way. Source

Recently, at The Initiative for Equal Rights (TIERs,) we put out a message about a spate of incidents by people attempting to extort users of the popular mobile app, Grindr. Among the group of people is a police officer. It seems we are seeing a new trend of power misused by State actors, especially police officers. We’ve always known that police harass and extort suspected gay and bisexual men on the streets of Lagos or elsewhere across the country, particularly those perceived as a bit effeminate. It is a cruel thing to exploit the vulnerability of people who are unwilling to come out openly about their sexual orientation just yet – thanks to the prejudice and ignorance of our wider society. One of the most disappointing experiences I had in the last two weeks was speaking to a bright, young middle-ranking police officer whom I have a huge amount of respect for about these issues. I was stunned when he said being gay is illegal in Nigeria, he didn’t think about this twice, the confidence with which he said this was rather disturbing. I was stunned not only at the level of ignorance it embodied, but also at the level to which he was certain in this knowledge. It made me wonder, if the police themselves, who are supposed to protect people, don’t understand the basic law, how then do they protect people and follow these laws? “Let’s be clear. Identity is not criminalized. What is criminalized, whether in the Sharia code, or in the criminal and penal code in Nigeria, are particular sexual acts. In other words, if someone says he is gay, he has not committed any offence” This witch hunt of gay people, and thinking that gay people are illegal, is wrong because being gay, or being suspected of being gay, is not a crime. We need as much education and enlightenment for the police as much as for the public to understand that sexual orientation is a part of identity not simply an act or behaviour. So, if somebody says to you I am gay, they have not committed any offence, until you catch them in some ‘act.’ And for that to happen, more often than not, you would have committed a certain invasion of their privacy to really see this. It should be clear for Nigerians to understand that police are crossing the line. It is quite clear that the Nigerian police need basic education around sexual orientation and gender identity – but most of all, clarity that identity is not criminalized. Some would make the argument that a lot of this extortion is because police are underpaid and badly treated, but I think we need to stop making that excuse for our national institutions. It is not about pay, but impunity; what is being capitalized on is the fact that it is not socially acceptable to be gay in this society – to some degree. After I spoke to the young police officer, I spoke to another senior police officer, who had a much better understanding of the issues. He was very clear that where blackmail has happened, people should make an official complaint. Yet, I could sense his culture shock that he was having a conversation about homosexuality. But while we are arguing whether being gay is socially acceptable or not, it needs to be clear that it is not a crime to be gay. What is criminalized, are certain acts. As a society, we need to stop putting violations and harassment by police to debate; we should all be worried that we are even debating violence, blackmail, extortion and other cruelties based on sexual orientation or gender identity. The arrests and harassments that have received publicity from police have often received public support, with many commenters on social blogs and news outlets, in effect saying, ‘good for them.’ Yet, applauding the abuse and extortion LGBT people experience at the hands of police officers and other actors leaves us all more vulnerable. Injustice to one, should be injustice to all. You do not have to agree or even like gay people, but as citizens, we need to be clear that blackmail, extortion and harassment by police or anyone else for that matter is unacceptable regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. “You do not have to agree or even like gay people, but as citizens, we need to be clear that blackmail, extortion, and harassment by police or anyone else for that matter is unacceptable regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity” This is where ordinary Nigerians come in. The views of the Nigerian police are the average views of Nigerians: an average Nigerian thinks that being gay is illegal and liable to 14 years in prison. But, dear Nigerians, being gay doesn’t give you 14 years, its certain acts that are criminalized, not identity. Let’s be clear on the law, so we know what we are dealing with. We need to rethink and ask ourselves, the parades of suspected or self-identified LGBT persons by police as an achievement, where does this get us? Who does this benefit? In whose name is this being done? Certainly, not in my name, and as citizens, we need to speak against injustice at all levels and say enough of this witch hunting of LGBT people by police and any actors, state or non-state. Enough is enough. “But, dear Nigerians, being gay doesn’t give you 14 years, it’s certain acts that are criminalized, not identity” Let’s be clear on the law, so we know what we are dealing with. We need to rethink and ask ourselves, the parades of suspected or self-identified LGBT persons by police as an achievement, where does this get us? Who does this benefit? In whose name is this being done? Certainly, not in my name, and as citizens, we need to speak against injustice at all levels and say enough of this witch hunting of LGBT people by police and any actors, state or non-state. Enough is enough. Source

In the quiet carriage we sat angled away from each other. We always rode the quiet carriage, but today it felt like a gift: a reason not to talk. Jonathan in his maroon sweater cradling his iPad. The sunlight weak, the morning uncertain. I was staring at the magazine in my hand, deeply breathing in and out, a willed and deliberate breathing, aware of itself. Breathe – such an easy target for scorn, so often summoned as panacea for our modern ills. But it worked. It helped push away my sense of engulfing tedium, even if only for brief moments. How does this happen? How do you wake up one morning and begin to question your life? Jonathan shifted on his seat. I kept my eyes on the magazine, to discourage any whispered conversation. “Something has been on your mind,” he told me that morning as he buttered a piece of toast. I kept silent, slowly spooning muesli into my mouth, and he said nothing more. Why hadn’t he asked me a question? Why hadn’t he asked “What is on your mind?” A question was braver than a statement. A question forced a reckoning. But Jonathan avoided direct questions because they had in them an element of confrontation. His dislike of confrontation I had once found endearing. It made him a person who thrived on peace, and so a life with him would be a kind of seamless happiness. When he did ask questions, they seemed always to seek reassurance rather than information. His first question to me, shortly after we met years ago, was about servants. I had mentioned the drivers and househelps of my Lagos childhood, and his question followed: How did you feel about it all? Because servants were foreign to him, a relationship with them had become a matter of morality. He told me that when he first could afford weekly Polish cleaners for his London flat, he had hidden in the spare room while they cleaned, so ashamed was he of paying somebody to scrub his toilet. For Jonathan to ask “How did you feel about it all?” was not really about how I felt, but about a moral code I was supposed to follow. I was to say: “I felt terrible. I worried about their welfare.” But the truth was I felt nothing because it was the life I knew. Had he asked me “What is on your mind?” that morning and had I said “I am wondering if this is the life I want, and what I have missed out on in the years we’ve been together,” he would have no answer for me. Because I was not supposed to think such things. It was unfair to do so. Wrong. That we sometimes think what we are not supposed to, and feel what we wish we did not, was something Jonathan was unable to grasp. From across the aisle came a loud voice. An elderly American man talking on the phone, his accent distinct, face burnt red as though fresh from a holiday. In the clammy silence of the carriage, his words sounded unnatural, as though coming from somewhere else. Jonathan shifted and sighed, then shifted again. A man turned and rolled his eyes. A woman shook her head. Why didn’t one of them tell the American that this was the quiet carriage? I guessed, from a bluffness in his manner, that he did not know. Jonathan was seated closest to the American, he had only to reach out across the aisle and gesture to the man and in his modulated voice say something. But he would not. Jonathan would shift and sigh and shift again but would say nothing. I once thought this sweet. I would have teased him about the English ritual of passive aggression, so easily inflamed by the presence of an American. The quirks that had first charmed me about Jonathan were suddenly scourges designed for my irritation. His sensitivity was weakness. What I thought his innocence was now self-indulgent naiveté. Nothing had happened. Jonathan had done nothing wrong, I had not met anyone else. It was merely that one morning I woke up and felt undone. I began to struggle to shrug off a terrifying sense of something wasted, a colossal waste, leaving a dull mourning for things gone forever. The train stopped at a station and I watched a couple come into the carriage. My interest in them was instant. They attracted attention: the man looked Japanese, with an angular arresting face and long black hair that gave him a cultivated alternative air. The woman looked Italian, tanned, her kohl eyeliner slightly smudged with the right amount of effortlessness. A throwaway kind of glamour emanated from them, their stylish clothes fit loosely but deliberately, their bags looked expensive. They slid in opposite us, and I felt an excitement I did not understand, as though their choosing to sit with us said something desirable about us, about me. A subtle perfume seemed to come from both of them. They wore the same scent. This impressed me for reasons unknown to me. Her purse on the table, thick leather, an elegant metal monogram. They pulsed with warmth and vitality. Jonathan avoided looking up. I smiled at them. She held my gaze for a few seconds, her expression open and curious and almost eager. Eager for what? Both their hands were below the table. Were they holding hands? They seemed like people who truly felt things, who touched their emotions. Their lives were lit by an inner incandescence. I tried to imagine their home, full of colour, intense flowers in asymmetrical vases, unapologetic paintings, perhaps leaning rather than hung on the walls. They probably said things to each other in bed, and made sounds for each other, with no self-consciousness. Her arms would be thrown up above her head. His body relaxed in its sensuality. They had brief intense fights, about their jealousy and their drinking, and they shouted at each other and then reconciled with passion. I felt suddenly that my life with Jonathan, with its contentment, its pacifism, was in fact the absence of true feeling. The woman leaned in and asked in an exaggerated whisper: “How long have you been married?” I stared at her. Jonathan looked up then and I imagined him, later, back home, saying how outrageous it was for a complete stranger to ask such a personal question. It seemed perfectly normal to me to be asked this by this attractive woman on a train. The man was watching me, too, his expression like hers. They were similar even in their expectations. “Too long,” I said, surprising myself, wanting to match her confident and playful air. Because I felt nervous, my voice was louder than I wanted it to be, especially for the quiet carriage. Jonathan was looking at me. I expected the woman to smile but to my astonishment her face clouded over, into whimsical sadness. “How did you know we were married?” Jonathan asked the woman and I turned to him in surprise. Jonathan talking, Jonathan asking a direct question, and not in that over-done whisper meant to show that he was following the quiet-carriage rules. She shrugged, gestured towards us both, as though to say that it was obvious. “Because we don’t talk?” I wanted to quip, to keep them interested in me, and to halt my rising panicky discomfort. “Must be nice to be so comfortable with each other,” the man said, his face similarly clouded as the woman’s. I understood then what that expression was. Longing. They admired us. This at first seemed to me so incongruous that I nearly laughed, and then it took on a grave weight that sudd- enly made me feel so much smaller, almost weightless. Did they admire us because they were themselves grieving something? Had I misread them from the beginning? “He’s your best friend,” the man said to me, gesturing toward Jonathan, and then glanced at the woman, as though to conclude an unfinished unspoken point. “And she’s your best friend. You tell each other the truth. You trust each other.” A long pause. Jonathan, I sensed, was done with these strange people. He went back to his iPad. Tears were running down the man’s face. The woman’s eyes were large and liquid. I felt trapped, confused about them and yet also responsible for them. “Yes,” I said finally. I remembered how I would lie next to Jonathan, watching him sleep, his lips slightly parted, and how I would touch his neck gently and think ‘May nothing ever happen to him.’ I had never told him how often I did that. Source

The young indigenous rapper and a popular voice at Cool Fm Lagos state talked about his Nigerian gay business partner and the experience he had working with him. He said this on the new episode of Hot Topics with Latasha Ngwube while reacting to the unfortunate regarding the arrest of the 42-suspected homosexual men that were recently arraigned in court by the Lagos state government. Read his comments below; “I have no problems with Homosexuals. An openly homosexual business partner here paid one of the biggest and most successful money I have made in my life to me in Nigeria. I have no problem with them but this is the law of the land. You have to be much smarter. You can’t just come and say I am gay and that law is a wrong law because you are still arrestable by the laws of the land. When I saw that story, I first had a problem with the Lagos state police. When I now heard that there were 12 minors involved, I said this is a child-s*x p****graphy ring and something deeper is happening here and on that account, they should all be arrested, there should be an investigation done to find out if the kids were really defiled and when they have found this out, they should properly rehabilitate those children. Something out of the ordinary is going on. But apart from that, what two grown men decide to do with themselves in their private place or corner that is entirely up to them but the law of the land still states this is illegal”. Source

The practice of meditation has been around for centuries. In simple terms, meditation uses the practice of mindful breathing and guided imagery to help clear your mind of clutter. Studies have shown that meditation is beneficial to your mental health as well as your physical health. If you have been practising it for years or looking to get started, any number of apps here can set you on the right track to a sound mind, body, and soul. The mindfulness app This app comes packed with features, including a five-day guided meditation practice, meditation reminders, personalized meditation offers, and timers for keeping you on track. There is even a health app integration capability. This is the gold standard app for anyone serious about the practice of meditation. Headspace Headspace is a great app for people just starting out, with 10 newbie-focused 10-minute meditation exercises, known as Take 10. It is designed to help you quickly understand what the practice is all about. There is also a personalised progress page, a reward system for continued practice, and even a buddy system for you and your friends to help each other stay on track. Once you have completed Take 10, the app contains other meditation exercises that can be purchased in the app. Calm With Calm, you can choose from an assortment of guided meditation experiences. The selections range from three-minute to 25-minute sessions. Another option is Daily Calm, a 10-minute programme you can practise right before your day begins or as it is about to end. Other features include more than 20 sleep stories, breathing exercises, unguided meditations, and more than 25 soothing sounds to help you get to sleep. Mindbody Mindbody is where you should start. Users can search and book a multitude of fitness classes like yoga, Pilates, barre, or CrossFit. The app is also an excellent resource to test the waters with a new trainer, class, or studio. You can manage your fitness routine through an exercise tracker. There is even a section where you can access discount deals for exercise classes. Buddhify Users have access to over 11 hours of custom meditation with buddhify. What is unique is that each exercise is tailored to target a specific aspect of your life. Need help going to sleep? The app has you covered. Need help staying offline? Check. Need a work break? It’s here. The tracks range from five to 30 minutes. A check-in system lets you evaluate how well you are meditating and tracks your progress overtime. Insight Timer This meditation app features over 4,500 free guided meditations from over 1,000 meditation practitioners. It also features 750 meditation music tracks. Insight Timer also lets you customise your intervals and background sounds so that your meditation session is exactly what you are looking for. Source

Most people have been victims of hurt and betrayal inflicted by fake friends; and if we are honest, some of us have been fake friends too. Here are some factors that make us victims of fake friends. The person became a friend too fast You meet someone and in two hours decide you’re best friends? My dear, good things take time. The friendship is based on a shallow or negative bond Did you guys become friends because your boyfriends are close or you’re the happening crew? While these are good things, there has to be deeper bonds to a friendship. You have to know that you can show up rolled in mud and they’d hold your hand. Did you guys become friends because you gossiped together or are bullies/trolls,etc? There is no honor among thieves. I had a friend who gossiped about a mutual friend of ours the very day we hung out together. She told me ‘I prefer your type of people because you are well trained; not like x that is a user’. I made a mental note that day to keep her at arm’s length. Three years down the line, I was the subject of her gossip with that same X that she said didn’t have home training. She knew nothing about me, so she had to make up a theory in her head that I was jealous of her. This person uses others Some people do not have the ability to make friends, they just use and manipulate people. Make friends with that person at your own peril. There is silent competition If we are honest with ourselves, we know when a little competition is brewing, that’s the time to create some distance and love from afar, so that you and the person don’t hurt each other. You are a user/troll/queen bee Some of us, especially those with esteem issues, put others down and create some sort of clique. What then happens is that for others to survive socially, they pretend to be your friend and care about you. When you put them down, they laugh about it, even though they are hurt. They do anything to be in your good books. The challenge with being this kind of person is that strong, emotionally healthy people see through you and want nothing to do with you. They stay out of your way, thus you attract your type, or weak and shallow people. The day you need help, you realise that all your friends are gone; they were never your friends. They simply needed to survive. In fact, some of them might kick you when you are down. You are not emotionally healthy When you are healthy, you can see through negativity; if you don’t do that early, you can’t walk away. Authenticity is not being afraid to walk alone. You don’t understand seasons Life comes in seasons and you must also be ready to embrace it. If the time set for a friendship has elapsed and you force it, hurt begins to set in. You don’t appreciate independence and forgiveness Your friend is not an extension of you. When you over involve yourself in your friends’ lives, they could hurt you in a bid to regain their independence. Forgiveness is also important. Peter was a friend of Jesus who denied him, because he was afraid. We need to allow our friends be themselves, accept their shortcomings and forgive honest mistakes. They were never your friends I’m not saying they were fake friends, I’m saying they never even considered you a friend. They were just being polite. Most people know what they want, and decide if they want to be friends with you. Sometimes, someone views us as a colleagues/neighbours, and we view them as best friends; that’s where the hurt comes. Life happens Actually sh**t happens. While we try to protect ourselves, life still happens even to the wisest of us. Remember, he that must have friends, must himself be a friend. If you get hurt, learn, forgive yourself and move on. Source

President Muhammadu Buhari has finally arrived Abuja after over 100 days stay in London, United Kingdom where he had been receiving medical attention since May 7. The presidential aircraft that conveyed the President landed at the Presidential Wing of the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport, Abuja at about 4.35pm. He was received by top government officials led by the Vice President, Yemi Osinbajo. The President inspected a guard of honour mounted by men of the Nigeria Police Force. Source

Atlanta Black Pride Weekend - August 30th - September 5th, 2017 Source

Read this online and thought to share. Enjoy! It’s happened to all of us. “But how do lesbians do it?” some idiot asks. Fuck. They mean how do lesbians fuck. It can be very awkward and embarrassing to start describing your last sexual encounter in full detail. Instead, I’ve made you this handy educational tool. Here is a very simple explanation, along with visual aids to help the idiot in your life who just doesn’t get it. It’s spelled out real clear and simple so anyone can understand! Part One: How to find out if sex has indeed occurred Lesbian A has a rate of arousal of 70 miles per hour (mph), she leaves Dryton heading toward Wetton, 260 miles away. At the same time Lesbian B, traveling 60 mph, leaves Clothedville heading toward Nakedville. When can we say that the two lesbians actually “meet”? To solve this problem, we’ll use the arousal formula: Arousal = Attraction x Drunkenness Since an equation (and a heart) remains true as long as we perform the same operation on both sides, we can divide both sides by attraction. So attraction is defined as arousal, divided by drunkenness (which is a ratio, as we are all well aware). I’m 2:3 right now! TMI, LOL. Horniness is another word used for attraction. When a problem says that a lesbian is moving at a speed of 40 mph, you can understand this to mean that the lesbian’s horniness is 40 mph, which means she will travel 40 miles in one hour, just to climax. The relative horniness of the two lesbians is the sum of how horny they are both feeling. In our problem, the relative horniness of the two lesbians is 70 mph + 60 mph = 130 mph. Wow! That’s a lot of horniness! These two didn’t get very far through Orange Is the New Black Season 5 this evening! At this point, we know two of the three unknowns–attraction and arousal –so we can solve the problem for drunkenness (can we get some strong, black coffee over here?). Remember that drunkenness = arousal/attraction (so true!), arousal is 260 miles, and the relative horniness is 130 mph: d = 260 miles/130 mph d = 2 hrs. We find that the lesbians “meet” after two hours. Clearly, this is a formula that you can use to check whether or not two women have had sex, so if you or a friend is unsure what you actually did counts, you can work it out! But we still don’t know the actual mechanism by which lesbian sex happens. Hey–don’t worry–I’ve got this! Here is a simple diagram to show the process. Part Two: the mechanics of lesbian sex I know this diagram is super obvious, I mean, hello?! What is this, second grade? I’m just going to go over it to make sure no-one is left behind, just like in lesbian sex! A – Both lesbians strike the gooba pose, making sure that the left lesbian is looking in the right lesbian’s right eye. B – The right lesbian manoeuvres at a 90-degree angle. Make sure she’s not obtuse. I hate obtuse. Here the lesbians must decide whether to go through steps C & D or E &F: C – The left lesbian inserts her smallest finger into the right lesbian’s klimpa hole. D – Both lesbians get on their knees and pray to the Goddess. OR E – The right lesbian can choose to tease the labia majora to the sides and coax out the sappholic trox. F – Both lesbians make a blood sacrifice to the white witch Stevie Nicks. H – Wel,l H is really a leap of faith. It’s only lesbian sex if you believe it’s lesbian sex. Both lesbians must make it to the other side, or it will not count. I – Is the final 90-degree turn, that must be the exact mirror image of the first, and performed by the left lesbian. Lesbian sex is now happening! I hope that’s helped. It’s obviously very different to straight sex, so you couldn’t possibly have guessed what happens! Hey, person asking how lesbians have sex: How do you have sex? I’d love to find out. Source

So heres another one...Am sure this was bizzzare for most of us. What was your most embarrassing moment as a teenage gal ?

So its Almost Thursday and i am in the spirit of throwbacks…Yassss lately i been relishing some fun teenage memories and catching trips off some of the shit that went down at some point while we were growing up and all I could do was just LAFFFFF … and of course share with you my dear NL brethren, so here’s the question… at what Age was it… and How was your first ever sensual / Sexual experience with a gal ? Share it Right here and lets have some fun off teenage memories. Well...Thank God its Thursday!

What is the most expensive thing you have bought for yourself?

Read this online and thought to share The moment Chanel looked at me and her lips spread into the widest, most beautiful smile I’d ever seen, I wanted to know her and lover her immediately. We became close friends that very day and spoke every day after that one. We were both in college at Delaware State University, living in the same dorm, on the same floor, and in the same wing. Our First Date Little did we know that when we went on our first date–dinner and a tour of Longwood Gardens in Pennsylvania to see their holiday display–that it was the beginning of an eight-year-love affair. I requested she dress nicely and accompany me out for the evening. The holiday display is always so gorgeous and romantic. After I Gained The Happy Weight We fell in love with each other’s beauty, loyalty, humility, sensuality, patience, humor, fearlessness, and mystery. We know each other so intimately but are still intrigued by what’s left to learn about one another. Chanel loved me for who I am, not who I was gonna be. I didn’t think she’d stick around cause ain’t no way she expected to be pushin’ this much cushion but, to my surprise our love only grew deeper. She still accepted me, repped me, respected me, complimented me, made love to me and uplifted me. Even after I gained all this “happy weight” she still wanted to marry me! I would ask her, are you sure? What about fat jokes? Can you deal with people jeering at the love of your life constantly? How is 320 pounds of sexy not too much for you? You do know you’re a size 4 right? I’ve since lost the weight, but Chanel taught me that when love is true love, it’s always unconditional and never superficial. It was such a beautiful and needed lesson. To anyone on a weight loss journey, you can do it, but be sure to do it for yourself. The people that are really for you are going to stand behind you at any size. Our Wedding Day We made it official on May 13, 2009, and got married three years later. Marriage was imperative for us because we wanted our family to have equal rights and protection under the law and we aspire to raise children who have two parents in their home that are in love and support one another every day. We both come from divorced homes, we wanted to take a real whack at doing better than the examples set for us. I married Chanel in a DSU sweatshirt! We went to the courthouse with only our two best friends and our two God babies in tow and got it done. Four days later, we had a wedding dinner to celebrate with our families, but the most memorable part of the day that we exchanged vows was returning home from the courthouse to see Barack Obama on TV making history by affirming his support for marriage equality and the LGBT community. It was so moving, almost like our president was giving us his blessing personally. Making Us Last After eight years, we’ve had a bunch of challenges. Seems like the ones that were the most difficult involved other people. Certain members of both of our families made it difficult for us to stay in a state of bliss and caused us to question our compatibility. There were plenty of harsh words and criticism from people we’d loved that had raised us our whole lives so it was definitely an uphill battle. We made the mistake of letting it come between us initially but ultimately learned that the feelings of no one else, kin or otherwise could ever matter more than how we felt about each other. We got past those hardships by committing ourselves to always putting each other first. Source

A pastor is under fire for a horrific remark about same-sex marriage. Logan Robertson is a pastor at Westcity Bible Baptist Church in Auckland, New Zealand. In a clip from a sermon uploaded to the church’s YouTube channel, he makes a shocking jibe about gay couples. He says: “Someone emailed me, asking, what’s your view on homo marriage? “My view on homo marriage is that the Bible never mentions it! Source

The biggest signs that somebody is toxic in your relationship are: If you become the root of all evil. If anything that goes wrong is always your fault. They could never admit to being wrong. You always got to beware of someone who cannot say “sorry.” Someone who can’t say “sorry” you know that as soon as it hits the fan and it gets difficult you’re going to be in a bad time with that person. Anybody who looks to do damage. Psychologists call it “scorpion behaviour.” If you get close to a scorpion and a scorpion gets scared, then that stings you. A bad, toxic partner, when they are afraid, won’t tell you they’re afraid. Instead, they’ll just sting you. They’ll try to do damage. Toxic partners won’t actually talk through things or be vulnerable with you. Instead, they hide. Toxic partners will lie about anything. They’ll find any way to make you the crazy one. Such a person will erode your confidence over time in a very powerful way. Source