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In societies where homosexuals face severe social stigma and potential criminal penalties under harsh laws, gay and bisexual men often turn to marrying straight women either to hide their own orientation or meet social and family expectations. Queer men in Nigeria often say they choose to marry women to preserve the privileges that are afforded to them when they “pass” as heterosexual. Phillip, a Lagos-based Nigerian bisexual, says his job at a top tech consultancy firm would be at risk if he were known to be queer. “I love men and if I am given the opportunity I will choose to marry a man. But how can I even do that? Everything is on the line here. I will lose everything including my precious job. In fact, I’ll be jailed and humiliated. I can’t stand all of that, that’s why I am going to marry a woman, and of course, she doesn’t have to know,” Phillip says. But while queer men face extreme social pressures to conform and marry women, this can put their female partners in difficult situations as well. To explore these struggles, five straight Nigerian women who married gay and bisexual men shared their stories. “He deceived me” Judith, a mother of two teenage boys, says though it wasn’t entirely bad being married to her ex-husband, whom she described as “loving and caring.” But she admits that it was really painful to discover that her husband lied to her throughout their marriage. “What pains me is that he deceived me. He loved men, yet married me. After I found out about him and his young lover, he admitted that he never loved me, but liked me and that he won’t be able to change,” Judith says. “We were married for 15 years. I don’t think I will be able to forgive him even though he was a good man and took care of us. He is a very loving and caring man. I will admit that about him,” she says. “Eager to change” Not every woman who is married to a gay or bisexual man is completely oblivious to his sexual orientation. Elisa, whose marriage did not endure a full year, says she was aware her ex-husband was gay. “I knew about who he is from the very beginning. We spoke about it several times, and he sounded like someone who was also eager to change,” Elisa says. “But it all crashed after I caught him crying one night that he was tired of denying his true nature. He said he was no longer happy. “I tried everything, even seeing our pastor, but nothing changed. He became even more miserable and depressed. It was last year that we both decided to go our separate ways after eight months of being married,” she says. “I gave him everything” Due to widespread misconceptions about homosexuality, many believe that being gay is all about a lack of access to sex with women. Victoria, an Enugu-based fashion designer, is one of those who believed so but is now very disappointed and shocked to find out that this is false. “Everything is still a dream to me. I loved him, gave him everything that a good wife gives to her husband, I never cheated on him, not to talk of the numerous times we had sex, yet he chooses to remain in that dirty act. Sleeping with a man like him, so disgusting. It is not easy leaving, but I can’t remain in that marriage” Victoria says. “He only wanted my womb” Some gay and bisexual men find selfish reasons to justify marrying women. Agnes, a 27-year-old banker, says her husband told her that all he wanted was to have kids and the only option was to marry a woman. “I feel completely used. How wicked. He only wanted my womb,” Agnes says. “After three years of being married to that scumbag, he told me he was leaving the marriage and that I wasn’t the kind of woman he wanted. Something was so off, so I had to dig him. To cut the long story short, it turned out he was gay and tired of being with a woman. I exposed him before leaving, and I am sure he will forever regret it.” “All I feel for him is pity” Sometimes, gay and bisexual men are pressured by their families to marry women. Patience, a Lagos-based fruit seller, is in a similar situation. However, she seems to have accepted her situation with some positivity. She says she doesn’t quite blame her husband for not letting her know that he is gay before he proposed, stating that her husband was pressured by his family. “I understand with my husband. He is the only son of his family and they want him to marry so that he can continue the family’s lineage. But I am not happy,” Patience says. “Every time he leaves the house I am afraid. He likes young boys. It was after I caught him sleeping with our house help that I knew. Now all I feel for him is pity. I am going to stay with him because we have a child together and I can’t raise my child without him.” Source

Presiding Bishop of Living Faith Church Worldwide popularly known as Winners’ Chapel International, David Oyedepo, via his Twitter account has stated that people who don’t pay tithe are “under a financial curse” and can never prosper.

You are about to eat this food and receive a break-up message from your partner. What will you do? Will you eat or walk away?

Vanity Fair has commissioned a Black photographer to shoot its cover for the first time, an overdue step for a magazine that has long weathered criticism for a lack of diverse racial representation in its pages. The cover of the magazine’s July/August issue, featuring actor Viola Davis, was shot by photographer Dario Calmese, whose photo of Davis aims to reimagine her as “as both the Black Madonna — associated with empowerment, transformation and change — as well as the Greek Goddess Athena — who represents justice, triumph and wisdom.” “This image reclaims that narrative, transmuting the white gaze on Black suffering into the Black gaze of grace, elegance, and beauty,” he said in the magazine. The image was inspired by an 1863 photograph of Peter Gordon, a runaway Black enslaved person, featured in a special issue of Harper’s Weekly during the Civil War. In the accompanying cover story, Davis herself pointed out the long-standing lack of Black representation on the iconic magazine’s covers. “They’ve had a problem in the past with putting Black women on the covers,” Davis said. “But that’s a lot of magazines, that’s a lot of beauty campaigns. There’s a real absence of dark-skinned Black women. When you couple that with what’s going on in our culture, and how they treat Black women, you have a double whammy. You are putting us in a complete cloak of invisibility.” “Davis is right, about Black women — and men (and, for that matter, other people of color as well as LGBTQ+ subjects),” Vanity Fair editor-in-chief Radhika Jones wrote in an editor’s letter introducing the new issue. “For most of the magazine’s history, a Black artist, athlete, or politician appearing on a regular monthly issue of Vanity Fair was a rare occurrence. In our archives, excluding groups and special issues, we count 17 Black people on the cover of Vanity Fair in the 35 years between 1983 and 2017.” The magazine has had several iterations dating back to 1913. Jones wrote that “to the best of our knowledge, it is the first Vanity Fair cover made by a Black photographer.” The long overdue step was sparked by the reckoning over racial inequity currently happening across many industries, including media — and at Condé Nast, Vanity Fair’s parent company, in particular. Last month, Bon Appétit editor Adam Rapoport resigned after freelance food journalist Tammie Teclemariam resurfaced a racist photo of him. His resignation opened deeper conversations on the ways the magazine has underpaid and undervalued staffers of color. The outlet has also exoticized or co-opted dishes, ingredients and culinary practices that originated in communities of color, including by featuring white chefs or food writers as supposed experts. Days later, Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour acknowledged to the magazine’s staff that “Vogue has not found enough ways to elevate and give space to Black editors, writers, photographers, designers and other creators,” she wrote in an internal email. “We have made mistakes too, publishing images or stories that have been hurtful or intolerant. I take full responsibility for those mistakes.” In 2018, after 126 years, Vogue’s cover was shot by a Black photographer for the first time. The cover star was Beyoncé, who was given complete control and pushed for a Black photographer, selecting Tyler Mitchell to photograph her for the cover. Last week, Vogue released its newest cover, which features gymnast Simone Biles, shot by legendary photographer Annie Leibovitz. But observers quickly pointed out that the magazine could have commissioned a Black photographer instead. For her part, Jones, who became Vanity Fair’s top editor at the end of 2017, has pushed for a wider range of stars to be featured on its cover and its pages. That began with actor and writer Lena Waithe, who was photographed by Leibovitz for the cover of Jones’ first issue at the helm, in April 2018 — marking a new direction for the magazine. “No amount of praise or censure affects me, in my current role, so much as the hope that our choices might inspire a young person — a future actor, director, photographer, writer — to pursue their own creative vision or imagine themself in our pages,” Jones wrote Tuesday. “Iconography carries influence.” Source