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Openly gay and newly married Nigerian man, Kenny Badmus, says the hypocrisy about homosexuality in Nigeria is alarming as the people who condemn it openly are into it secretly. In an interview with The Punch, Kenny who got married to his American partner in July, revealed that he has had flings with some clergymen as well as a senator in Nigeria When asked to speak on popular Nigerian cross dresser, Bobrisky, Kenny who came out of the closet via his Facebook page some years ago, said

A gay couple recently tied the knot in Paris and one of them wore a unique outfit for the occasion. So pretty! Thoughts? Source

“The Bachelor Vietnam” went from conventional reality TV to big-time drama this week when two of the female contestants decided to reject the idea of competing for the eligible guy and instead go home together. Bachelor Nguyen Quoc Trung was unexpectedly left holding the rose when contestants Minh Thu and Truc Nhu turned their attentions away from him… and onto each other, according to the Asian news site Next Shark. “I went into this competition to find love and I’ve found that love for myself, but it isn’t with you,” Thu told Trung. “It’s with someone else.” Thu began to cry, ran up to fellow female contestant Nhu and threw her arms around her. “Come home with me. Come home with me,” she cried. Nhu approached Trung, who had given her a rose just moments earlier. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I really want to get to know you because you’re someone who made me feel special and I haven’t felt that way in a long time.” He tried his darnedest to talk her out of leaving, saying, “I want you to know that if you do this, you’ll feel regretful. This won’t change my decision. I’m not going to give this rose to anyone else.” But she gave him back the rose, having already had made up her mind to leave. Source

If your girl's phone is broken, would you let her use yours for the day? Oya expose yourselves😂.

Two men have been arrested in Ogun State by the Police in connection with homosexuality. Okon Bassey and Ademola Adekunle were arrested following a complaint by Bassey who reported at the Onipanu Divisional Headquarter that Ademola was threatening his life with violence. Upon investigation, it was discovered that they are sexual partners. The Ogun state Police Public Relations Officer, Abimbola Oyeyemi, revealed in a press release that when Ademola was arrested last Wednesday, he confessed to being introduced to Bassey by one Mandela for homosexual dating. Oyeyemi, a Deputy Superintendent of Police (DSP), stated further that Ademola had explained how Bassey promised him N20,000 if he agreed to be his sex partner. According to Ademola, the said Bassey has had sex with him three times and this resulted in him bleeding profusely from the anus since then. Meanwhile, the agreed N20,000 was not paid to him. “Upon the confession, the two of them were promptly arrested and detained. Ademola was taken to hospital and medical report confirmed that his anus has been violently tampered with. “The Commissioner of Police, Ahmed Iliyasu, has given directives for the transfer of the case to the State Criminal Investigation and Intelligence Department for further investigation and possible prosecution,” Oyeyemi stated. Source

Source Should the guy have handled things differently or is he right eloping?

A South African woman has narrated how she was raped by her father, uncle and one of their friends because she is homosexual. Mubizana's story is so heartbreaking and will probably leave you in tears. She said her father still walks free after what he did to her, but her uncle and the friend were prosecuted. She said the sexual assault was so damaging that she wondered why they didn't just kill her. The incident still lives with her and affects her each time she gets into a new relationship. Read her story below. Source

The life story of Bisi Alimi, who went from being an anti-gay prosthelytize, preaching hell fire and damnation to those who strayed, into becoming the first Nigerian to come out on national TV. Enjoy! Source

It's no secret that children need loving parents, but for decades, same-sex couples raising families have faced opposition from those who claim that growing up with two moms or two fathers might be bad for kids. It's unfortunate that this fight still needs to be fought, but research may be the key to helping everyone understand that having loving parents is more important for a child's development than who those parents love. Studies confirm kids raised in lesbian and gay families grow up to be just fine, and basically the same as people who were raise in heteronormative households. According to the researchers behind the longest-running study of same-sex couples raising kids, The National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS), concluded that 25-year-olds who grew up with two moms have "no significant differences in measures of mental health" compared peers raised by heterosexual parents. "When I began this study in 1986, there was considerable speculation about the future mental health of children conceived through donor insemination and raised by sexual minority parents," says the study's lead author, Dr. Nanette Gartrell. "We have followed these families since the mothers were inseminating or pregnant and now find that their 25-year-old daughters and sons score as well on mental health as other adults of the same age." This follows another study published in the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatricswhich followed three groups of families in Italy: 70 gay fathers who had children through surrogacy, 125 lesbian mothers who had children through donor insemination, and 195 heterosexual couples who had children through spontaneous conception. "Our findings suggested that children with same-sex parents fare well, both in terms of psychological adjustment and prosocial behavior," said Prof. Roberto Baiocco, PhD, of Sapienza University of Rome. The scores psychological adjustment for the children were within the normal range for all three groups, with no major differences. The researchers note that the kids in same-sex homes actually reported fewer difficulties than those born to heterosexual couples. Parenting confidence impacts kids more than a parent's sexual preference. What matters isn't the parents sexual orientation, but rather how confident they feel as a parent. In all three types of families, parents who didn't feel competent in their own parenting reported more problems with their kids, and less satisfaction in their relationship with their partner. "The present study warns policy-makers against making assumptions on the basis of sexual orientation about people who are more suited than others to be parents or about people who should or should not be denied access to fertility treatments," Baiocco adds. These studies, which build on others and add to the growing pile of scientific evidence that same-sex families are just families like everyone else, may seem unremarkable to some, but to families struggling to be seen as such, they're powerful tools. In Italy, where Baiocco's study took place, access to fertility treatments is only available to couples who meet a set of conditions, including being heterosexual, and only this year were same-sex couples allowed to register their children to both parents. Stateside, about 114,000 same-sex couples are raising children in America right now, according to UCLA, but Alabama, Kansas, Michigan, Mississippi, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Virginia, do allow state-licensed child welfare agencies to refuse to place and provide services to children and families if it conflicts with their religious beliefs. The ACLU of Michigan is asking a federal judge there to let it sue the state for discrimination against same-sex couples, alleging faith-based adoption agencies that receive state funding have been turning away same-sex couples who would like to adopt. Source

It came as a rude shock to Nigerians when Charly Boy’s daughter, Dewy Oputa, revealed on social media that she is a lesbian. She made this known on Instagram during the week by sharing photos and a video of herself and her girlfriend. While speaking with Sunday Scoop, Dewy said she shared the post because she got tired of hiding and decided it was time to live in her truth. She said, “My mission for creating a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer platform is to provide a safe place for youths in the African community. I strive to create an accepting and welcoming community where everyone is free to express themselves and be loved for who they are. I want a place where individuals such as myself can create authentic friendships and thrive as the person they were born to be. Dewy, however, admitted that it was not easy for her parents when she revealed her sexuality to them. “I can’t pinpoint the exact age I found out about my sexuality, but I was much younger. When I came out to my parents, it took them a while to adjust but my happiness comes first. I don’t feel bad about the negative comments my sexuality post has generated. I knew Nigerians would always have negative things to say and I was mentally prepared for it. I’m not here to sway anybody’s point of view; I’m here to bring awareness,” she said. On whether she nurses any fear about coming to Nigeria considering that there is an anti-gay law in place in the country, the stylist and property management practitioner said, “To be honest, I do not have any fears. I think there are far more critical issues that are yet to be resolved. So, why should my sexual orientation affect the next man? Nigerians that have a problem with the LGBTQ community need to mind their business and focus on the critical life and death situation at hand. Love has never killed the next man.” Meanwhile, Charly Boy has come out to support his daughter, Dewy Oputa, after she shared a cozy photo of herself and her lesbian partner on social media. He told Sunday Scoop that he would always support his daughter irrespective of her choice of a sexual partner. He said, “She is my daughter, why won’t I support her even if she is whatever she is? My father supported me too. We can argue on moral grounds but we all have our rights to life. I fought for the gay community; so, if my daughter turns out to be this way, I should walk my talk.” Admitting that he might not like her sexuality personally, he said there was nothing he could do about it since she is an adult. The Area Father stated, “I have daughters who are married and have children, but she is the only one who has decided to be different. As long as she finds happiness or moves on with her life, I don’t have any problem with it. My father wanted me to be a lawyer and I told him I didn’t want to be a lawyer; I did what made me happy. “People can be talking based on moral grounds, but we are not in the position to judge. Nigeria is like this because of evil people and we should concentrate on those people; not my daughter’s sexuality.” Similarly, Charly Boy rubbished the anti-gay law in Nigeria, which imposed a 14-year jail term on any individual found guilty. “How many people have the law caught? Don’t we have a lot of homosexuals in the Senate or government? We know all these things. They should start with themselves. They shouldn’t be bothered about my child who is enjoying her life. I don’t have problems with anyone’s sexuality as long as they are good human beings. I am not in the same level with most Nigerians; so, my thinking is different,” he said. Source

Research confirms that more than half of women who consume same-sex male pornography are watching it because they feel it is more authentic than other genres, according to a new study by London's Middlesex University. "Male gays in the female gaze: Women who watch m/m pornography," by researcher Lucy Neville, drew research from a recent survey from adult film site PornHub. Women appear at a physiological level to find gay male sex just as arousing as heterosexual sex, according to Neville's research. The study detailed in the book investigated why exactly women are aroused by watching male-on-male sex by surveying 275 self-identified women who watch gay male porn. The sample included straight, bisexual, lesbian, queer, asexual, pansexual, and demisexual women; 68 percent of participants also watched heterosexual pornography, and 53 percent also watched lesbian pornography. However, 82 percent of participants preferred gay male pornography over other genres. The overwhelming reason the women watched gay male porn was that they felt it was more authentic than other genres. "Respondents were more able to believe that both actors were enjoying the experience and that the sexual desire and pleasure between them, therefore, felt more ‘authentic,’" according to the research. Participants felt that because men on screen had very visual cues that indicated sexual desire such as erections and ejaculation, the actors "weren't faking it." They also felt male adult film stars as opposed to female performers were "enjoying each other more rather than simply playing to the camera." The women also said that they felt they shared a more common gaze with the target audience as opposed to heterosexual and lesbian porn, which is predominantly made for heterosexual men, and they felt gay men's point of view was more in line with their personal preferences and desires. By watching same-sex male porn, women also enjoyed that they could avoid seeing female bodies used as powerless sexual objects under the control of men. They perceived the rough sex in gay porn as more tasteful than behaviors displayed in heterosexual and lesbian porn, without it feeling "non-consensual." Some also appreciated that they were not presented with a female porn star they would "be jealous of" or "subconsciously compare themselves to "causing them to feel "uncomfortable about their own bodies." Other participants simply enjoyed the taboo of gay sex and the idea they would never experience what was happening on their laptops. Source

Source: Twitter

Dewy Oputa the Daughter of Charly Boy who's known for her Stand in LGBT, has finally showed us the face of her Girlfriend for the first time, According to US based dewy she was nervous when she wanted to share the photos, but She doesn't care no more. See below

In an interview with Christiane Amanpour, President Uhuru Kenyatta claims that homosexuality is not an issue of human rights, but rather of "our own base as a culture." Thoughts ladies?

I have been thinking about the ideology of people and how they think through other human beings, especially those they consider or perceive as different from what they already know. The fact that many people can hardly see the human side of people they consider or perceive to be different, is disturbing and we all should be worried. So, let’s look at Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual persons in a Nigeria context, and I intentionally left out Transgender persons because the discussion around gender identity is completely different from sexual orientation. I often hear people ask questions on how anyone becomes LGB or how they even have sex, or make babies, as if human life and existence is about sex and babies. I have seen questions like; Who is the woman or man? How do they enjoy sex? and many other endless questions. However, I also understand that this comes from a place of complete lack of knowledge and therefore people need to learn and unlearn what they already know, this is how society progresses and ensures safe space for all human. No society can progress through a narrowed view of one man or many of them, she does through the ability to understand differences and the willingness to learn the struggle of those seen or considered different from the majority. We always find it difficult to think beyond sex when we think about LGB persons. The fact that we have sexualised a full-grown human being is disturbing as this limits our view on the struggles and realities experienced by LGB persons in a heteronormative society like Nigeria. Since we have decided to always look at LGB persons from a place of sex and not as a complete human being with emotions that are connected to families, friends, co-workers, and communities which are beyond sex, we can as well talk about sex since this seems to be a concern for many. I realised that many have limited their understanding of “sexual orientation” to just sex and for this reason; many are unable to think beyond sex or understand that before and beyond sex, there is emotion. More importantly, that this emotion connects deeply to human feeling and is not determined by the type of sex a person is having or going to have. The way men or women are emotionally attracted to women or men, is equally the same way men and women who find other men and women attractive, emotionally process their thoughts; it’s beyond sex. I have heard people say, ‘I don’t have problems with LGB persons as long as they don’t make any sexual or emotional advance at me.’ My problem with this line of thought is, how is a heterosexual person sure that the person they are trying to make sexual or emotional advance at is heterosexual? The reality remains that LGB persons will have as much sex as they want, and this will not change or disturb the amount of sex heterosexual people will have. Sex should not define any person or group of persons so long as the sex that happens is between two adults with mutual consent. No one really needs to know who lies on top, below or beside. I have always believed we need to free ourselves on discussion around sex, this thinking that once you talk about sex you are “lose or unholy” is wrong and a false to our realities. Heterosexual people need to liberate themselves from this thought as it will help them free LGB persons and start seeing them as full human being who is not only about sex but will equally have sex as much as any human being. Source

A woman has opened up about how it is to be a lesbian and Muslim. Zayna, 40, spoke to the Manchester Evening News to say she had been beaten, threatened and humiliated because she is gay. She did not deny her true identity despite the abuse she had received before moving from Pakistan to the UK. While studying for her PhD, Zayna said she was kicked out of university because fellow students said they thought she was “dangerous”. At an Islamic school, she said she was forced by fellow staff to leave or face police action. She had started a relationship with a fellow teacher. But staff said they would be reported to police as prostitutes if they did not end their relationship and leave. Of an incident where her father abused her for spending time with another teenager, she said: “My father came upstairs and wanted to kill me and beat me like anything. “He told me how to behave. That was the first time I felt unsafe in my own home. “I still have that horrible pain in my lower back and can’t walk properly.” The graduate says she is still a practising Muslim and that her sexuality and her religion are both important to her. She said: “I was born a Muslim and I want to die a Muslim. But if someone wants to kill me then why? Just because I’m a lesbian? “I am a strong brave person but so many people like me don’t have that courage. I realised I need to come out and tell everyone about my story.” She now lives in Manchester, UK, and speaks out on behalf of LGBT+ Muslims. Zayna grew up in Karachi, Pakistan, and her parents were conservative Muslims with no other children. Her parents are both dead. She describes herself as a tomboy, and says she realised she is gay when she turned 13. Zayna says it was “very hard” and that she was told “you are not Muslim if you are a lesbian”. Going on, she also says she thinks the Quran’s message about homosexuality has been misinterpreted. She now says she feels calm because she is able to have relationships without fear of persecution. Source

A Nigerian researcher, Kehinde Okanlawon, has released an article in an academic journal which includes interviews with 14 gay and lesbian Nigerian University students, as well as analyzed secondary data sources about the experiences of LGBT students in some Nigerian schools. The report, titled “Homophobic bullying in Nigerian schools: The experiences of LGBT university students,” was based on interviews with 14 gay and lesbian students of a Nigerian university as well as other experiences of Nigerian LGBT students compiled from diverse secondary data sources. In the interviews, the students said that the constant bullying that they received from fellow students was inevitable and that accepting it was preferable to complaining to school authorities, who would then suspend them or expel them for homosexuality. The students said: Verbal abuse is common. Fellow students openly call them names on campus such as “homo,” “faggot,” “lesbo,” “woman,” and “gay lord.” It is common for gay students to face harsh condemnation from Nigerian school authorities, who often justified their homophobia by claiming that morality motivated their actions. Among the other examples of discrimination based on sexual orientation found in secondary data sources from other Nigerian universities are: A final-year student of Covenant University was expelled for committing lesbianism. A gay student was almost deprived of his certificate by the university despite his academic excellence. “He was on the disciplinary committee twice because he is gay. The disciplinary committee acknowledged that he graduated with a good grade but said that he didn’t have the morals required for a student who ought to be a good ambassador of the university. Fortunately, with the intervention of family and friends, he was eventually given his certificate.” Heterosexual students blackmail and extort money from LGBT students, taking advantage of the fact that certain sex acts associated with homosexuality have been criminalized. Sometimes heterosexual students try out other students who are gay/ lesbian by approaching them sexually just to get them to admit that they are gay. Violence sometimes occurs when certain gay or lesbian students approach other students whom they think are gay or lesbian. But things have not all been bad. A few of the gay and lesbian students who responded to the survey mentioned positive experiences, such as being defended by tolerant students and lecturers who consider homophobic bullying to be unjust. In conclusion of the study, Okanlawon argues that homophobic bullying in Nigerian schools impedes educational rights of LGBT students and contradicts the African Ubuntu which calls for compassion, solidarity, and respect for human dignity. Given these reasons, he recommends that appropriate policies be put in place to punish perpetrators of homophobic bullying in schools. Additionally, Okanlawon suggests that Nigerian schools incorporate anti-homophobic bullying policies into gender-based anti-bullying/anti-harassment-related policies in Nigerian schools in order to ensure respect for diversity. Besides, Okanlawon acknowledged that in order to address the issue of homophobic bullying in schools and homophobia in the larger society, many Nigerians and other Africans need to decolonize their minds so as to build an inclusive society with our own rules, where tolerance, solidarity, and empathy for one another can thrive as opposed to a society where we are psychologically colonized by the ideology of U.S Evangelicals and antiquated colonial legacies of homophobia. Finally, he recommended that Nigerians challenge the colonial legacies such as heterosexist and homophobic legacies which cause division and hatred among Nigerians today. Okanlawon noted that the belief that homosexuality is un-African is a fallacy. Actually, Okanlawon stated, it is homophobic bullying that is un-African. Historically, before colonization, Africans have been historically tolerant of diverse forms of sexual and gender diversity. In the research, Okanlawon argues for culturally relevant knowledge and approaches using locally meaningful values and terminologies in proposing solutions to the problem of homophobic bullying in Nigerian schools and homophobia in the larger society. Source

Nearly every song on JayZ's latest album, 4:44, generated buzz when the project dropped in June, but one track in particular stood out to many listeners: "Smile," on which the rapper revealed that his mother, Gloria Carter, is a lesbian. "Mama had four kids, but she's a lesbian / Had to pretend so long that she's a thespian," Jay-Z, 47, raps. "Had to hide in the closet, so she medicate / Society shame and the pain was too much to take / Cried tears of joy when you fell in love / Don't matter to me if it's a him or her." The end of the song features a spoken word poem recited and written by Gloria herself: "Living in the shadow feels like the safe place to be / No harm for them, no harm for me / But life is short, and it's time to be free / Love who you love, because life isn't guaranteed. Gloria publicly addressed the song for the first time on Tuesday, September 5, and revealed how she came out to her son. "Me and my son, we share a lot of information. I was sitting there and I was telling him one day, I just finally started telling him who I was," she explained on the D'USSE Fridaypodcast on Tuesday, September 5. "Besides your mother, this is the person that I am. This is the life that I live. My son started actually tearing 'cause he's like, 'That had to be a horrible life, Ma.' I was like, 'My life was never horrible. It was just different.' So that made him want to do a song about it." The track almost didn't see the light of day, though. "The first time I heard the song, I was like, 'Eh, I don't know, dude. I ain't feeling that,'" Gloria recalled. "When it first happened, I was sharing myself [with Jay], not to share myself with the world." After several discussions with her son, Gloria's apprehension faded away and she agreed to appear on the song. "I was never ashamed of me. But in my family, it was something that was never discussed," she said. "I'm tired of all the mystery. I'm gonna give it to 'em. ... Now it's time for me to live my life and be happy, be free." Source

Recently, at The Initiative for Equal Rights (TIERs,) we put out a message about a spate of incidents by people attempting to extort users of the popular mobile app, Grindr. Among the group of people is a police officer. It seems we are seeing a new trend of power misused by State actors, especially police officers. We’ve always known that police harass and extort suspected gay and bisexual men on the streets of Lagos or elsewhere across the country, particularly those perceived as a bit effeminate. It is a cruel thing to exploit the vulnerability of people who are unwilling to come out openly about their sexual orientation just yet – thanks to the prejudice and ignorance of our wider society. One of the most disappointing experiences I had in the last two weeks was speaking to a bright, young middle-ranking police officer whom I have a huge amount of respect for about these issues. I was stunned when he said being gay is illegal in Nigeria, he didn’t think about this twice, the confidence with which he said this was rather disturbing. I was stunned not only at the level of ignorance it embodied, but also at the level to which he was certain in this knowledge. It made me wonder, if the police themselves, who are supposed to protect people, don’t understand the basic law, how then do they protect people and follow these laws? “Let’s be clear. Identity is not criminalized. What is criminalized, whether in the Sharia code, or in the criminal and penal code in Nigeria, are particular sexual acts. In other words, if someone says he is gay, he has not committed any offence” This witch hunt of gay people, and thinking that gay people are illegal, is wrong because being gay, or being suspected of being gay, is not a crime. We need as much education and enlightenment for the police as much as for the public to understand that sexual orientation is a part of identity not simply an act or behaviour. So, if somebody says to you I am gay, they have not committed any offence, until you catch them in some ‘act.’ And for that to happen, more often than not, you would have committed a certain invasion of their privacy to really see this. It should be clear for Nigerians to understand that police are crossing the line. It is quite clear that the Nigerian police need basic education around sexual orientation and gender identity – but most of all, clarity that identity is not criminalized. Some would make the argument that a lot of this extortion is because police are underpaid and badly treated, but I think we need to stop making that excuse for our national institutions. It is not about pay, but impunity; what is being capitalized on is the fact that it is not socially acceptable to be gay in this society – to some degree. After I spoke to the young police officer, I spoke to another senior police officer, who had a much better understanding of the issues. He was very clear that where blackmail has happened, people should make an official complaint. Yet, I could sense his culture shock that he was having a conversation about homosexuality. But while we are arguing whether being gay is socially acceptable or not, it needs to be clear that it is not a crime to be gay. What is criminalized, are certain acts. As a society, we need to stop putting violations and harassment by police to debate; we should all be worried that we are even debating violence, blackmail, extortion and other cruelties based on sexual orientation or gender identity. The arrests and harassments that have received publicity from police have often received public support, with many commenters on social blogs and news outlets, in effect saying, ‘good for them.’ Yet, applauding the abuse and extortion LGBT people experience at the hands of police officers and other actors leaves us all more vulnerable. Injustice to one, should be injustice to all. You do not have to agree or even like gay people, but as citizens, we need to be clear that blackmail, extortion and harassment by police or anyone else for that matter is unacceptable regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. “You do not have to agree or even like gay people, but as citizens, we need to be clear that blackmail, extortion, and harassment by police or anyone else for that matter is unacceptable regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity” This is where ordinary Nigerians come in. The views of the Nigerian police are the average views of Nigerians: an average Nigerian thinks that being gay is illegal and liable to 14 years in prison. But, dear Nigerians, being gay doesn’t give you 14 years, its certain acts that are criminalized, not identity. Let’s be clear on the law, so we know what we are dealing with. We need to rethink and ask ourselves, the parades of suspected or self-identified LGBT persons by police as an achievement, where does this get us? Who does this benefit? In whose name is this being done? Certainly, not in my name, and as citizens, we need to speak against injustice at all levels and say enough of this witch hunting of LGBT people by police and any actors, state or non-state. Enough is enough. “But, dear Nigerians, being gay doesn’t give you 14 years, it’s certain acts that are criminalized, not identity” Let’s be clear on the law, so we know what we are dealing with. We need to rethink and ask ourselves, the parades of suspected or self-identified LGBT persons by police as an achievement, where does this get us? Who does this benefit? In whose name is this being done? Certainly, not in my name, and as citizens, we need to speak against injustice at all levels and say enough of this witch hunting of LGBT people by police and any actors, state or non-state. Enough is enough. Source

Most people have been victims of hurt and betrayal inflicted by fake friends; and if we are honest, some of us have been fake friends too. Here are some factors that make us victims of fake friends. The person became a friend too fast You meet someone and in two hours decide you’re best friends? My dear, good things take time. The friendship is based on a shallow or negative bond Did you guys become friends because your boyfriends are close or you’re the happening crew? While these are good things, there has to be deeper bonds to a friendship. You have to know that you can show up rolled in mud and they’d hold your hand. Did you guys become friends because you gossiped together or are bullies/trolls,etc? There is no honor among thieves. I had a friend who gossiped about a mutual friend of ours the very day we hung out together. She told me ‘I prefer your type of people because you are well trained; not like x that is a user’. I made a mental note that day to keep her at arm’s length. Three years down the line, I was the subject of her gossip with that same X that she said didn’t have home training. She knew nothing about me, so she had to make up a theory in her head that I was jealous of her. This person uses others Some people do not have the ability to make friends, they just use and manipulate people. Make friends with that person at your own peril. There is silent competition If we are honest with ourselves, we know when a little competition is brewing, that’s the time to create some distance and love from afar, so that you and the person don’t hurt each other. You are a user/troll/queen bee Some of us, especially those with esteem issues, put others down and create some sort of clique. What then happens is that for others to survive socially, they pretend to be your friend and care about you. When you put them down, they laugh about it, even though they are hurt. They do anything to be in your good books. The challenge with being this kind of person is that strong, emotionally healthy people see through you and want nothing to do with you. They stay out of your way, thus you attract your type, or weak and shallow people. The day you need help, you realise that all your friends are gone; they were never your friends. They simply needed to survive. In fact, some of them might kick you when you are down. You are not emotionally healthy When you are healthy, you can see through negativity; if you don’t do that early, you can’t walk away. Authenticity is not being afraid to walk alone. You don’t understand seasons Life comes in seasons and you must also be ready to embrace it. If the time set for a friendship has elapsed and you force it, hurt begins to set in. You don’t appreciate independence and forgiveness Your friend is not an extension of you. When you over involve yourself in your friends’ lives, they could hurt you in a bid to regain their independence. Forgiveness is also important. Peter was a friend of Jesus who denied him, because he was afraid. We need to allow our friends be themselves, accept their shortcomings and forgive honest mistakes. They were never your friends I’m not saying they were fake friends, I’m saying they never even considered you a friend. They were just being polite. Most people know what they want, and decide if they want to be friends with you. Sometimes, someone views us as a colleagues/neighbours, and we view them as best friends; that’s where the hurt comes. Life happens Actually sh**t happens. While we try to protect ourselves, life still happens even to the wisest of us. Remember, he that must have friends, must himself be a friend. If you get hurt, learn, forgive yourself and move on. Source

Read this online and thought to share The moment Chanel looked at me and her lips spread into the widest, most beautiful smile I’d ever seen, I wanted to know her and lover her immediately. We became close friends that very day and spoke every day after that one. We were both in college at Delaware State University, living in the same dorm, on the same floor, and in the same wing. Our First Date Little did we know that when we went on our first date–dinner and a tour of Longwood Gardens in Pennsylvania to see their holiday display–that it was the beginning of an eight-year-love affair. I requested she dress nicely and accompany me out for the evening. The holiday display is always so gorgeous and romantic. After I Gained The Happy Weight We fell in love with each other’s beauty, loyalty, humility, sensuality, patience, humor, fearlessness, and mystery. We know each other so intimately but are still intrigued by what’s left to learn about one another. Chanel loved me for who I am, not who I was gonna be. I didn’t think she’d stick around cause ain’t no way she expected to be pushin’ this much cushion but, to my surprise our love only grew deeper. She still accepted me, repped me, respected me, complimented me, made love to me and uplifted me. Even after I gained all this “happy weight” she still wanted to marry me! I would ask her, are you sure? What about fat jokes? Can you deal with people jeering at the love of your life constantly? How is 320 pounds of sexy not too much for you? You do know you’re a size 4 right? I’ve since lost the weight, but Chanel taught me that when love is true love, it’s always unconditional and never superficial. It was such a beautiful and needed lesson. To anyone on a weight loss journey, you can do it, but be sure to do it for yourself. The people that are really for you are going to stand behind you at any size. Our Wedding Day We made it official on May 13, 2009, and got married three years later. Marriage was imperative for us because we wanted our family to have equal rights and protection under the law and we aspire to raise children who have two parents in their home that are in love and support one another every day. We both come from divorced homes, we wanted to take a real whack at doing better than the examples set for us. I married Chanel in a DSU sweatshirt! We went to the courthouse with only our two best friends and our two God babies in tow and got it done. Four days later, we had a wedding dinner to celebrate with our families, but the most memorable part of the day that we exchanged vows was returning home from the courthouse to see Barack Obama on TV making history by affirming his support for marriage equality and the LGBT community. It was so moving, almost like our president was giving us his blessing personally. Making Us Last After eight years, we’ve had a bunch of challenges. Seems like the ones that were the most difficult involved other people. Certain members of both of our families made it difficult for us to stay in a state of bliss and caused us to question our compatibility. There were plenty of harsh words and criticism from people we’d loved that had raised us our whole lives so it was definitely an uphill battle. We made the mistake of letting it come between us initially but ultimately learned that the feelings of no one else, kin or otherwise could ever matter more than how we felt about each other. We got past those hardships by committing ourselves to always putting each other first. Source

A pastor is under fire for a horrific remark about same-sex marriage. Logan Robertson is a pastor at Westcity Bible Baptist Church in Auckland, New Zealand. In a clip from a sermon uploaded to the church’s YouTube channel, he makes a shocking jibe about gay couples. He says: “Someone emailed me, asking, what’s your view on homo marriage? “My view on homo marriage is that the Bible never mentions it! Source

The biggest signs that somebody is toxic in your relationship are: If you become the root of all evil. If anything that goes wrong is always your fault. They could never admit to being wrong. You always got to beware of someone who cannot say “sorry.” Someone who can’t say “sorry” you know that as soon as it hits the fan and it gets difficult you’re going to be in a bad time with that person. Anybody who looks to do damage. Psychologists call it “scorpion behaviour.” If you get close to a scorpion and a scorpion gets scared, then that stings you. A bad, toxic partner, when they are afraid, won’t tell you they’re afraid. Instead, they’ll just sting you. They’ll try to do damage. Toxic partners won’t actually talk through things or be vulnerable with you. Instead, they hide. Toxic partners will lie about anything. They’ll find any way to make you the crazy one. Such a person will erode your confidence over time in a very powerful way. Source

Spectranet 4G LTE has introduced Pebble MiFi, an unique offering that comes with features matched with speed and reliable data services. The firm said the development was part of its product development plan to enrich customers’ experience. “The Pebble MiFi device, an addition to the Spectranet device family, will enable subscribers to connect more to the world and get value-affordability, speed and unbeatable service,” the company said in a statement on Monday. “The new Pebble MiFi is artistic and comes with 30GB data. It is equally handy and easy to move around for indoor and outdoor purposes and has a long battery life,” the statement added. The Head, Marketing, Spectranet 4G LTE, Mike Ogor, stated that the Pebble MiFi would bring the world closer to the brand’s customers and Internet users in Nigeria. “The new Pebble MiFi is a great addition to our family of devices, offering great Internet experience at an affordable price. The device will enable our customers to con nect more to the world flourishing with possibilities and connections. “As a customer-centric brand, we are making a bold statement with the Pebble MiFi that more value will be derived from our devices. This device is giving them a lot more data at an affordable rate,” Ogor added. Source

Ooni of Ife, Oba Adeyeye Enitan Ogunwusi Ojaja II and Queen Wuraola-Zynab Ogunwusi’s marriage has allegedly crashed. Thecapital.ng reports that Olori Wuraola was accused of many unpublishable things and lack of commitment to her marital vows. “*Why Olori Wuraola Ran To Obasanjo For Quick Intervention. Alas, one year down the line, the marriage has crashed irretrievably. The well-celebrated marriage has run its full course. While it lasted, they had no child. Inside sources described the marriage as a sham, plagued by suspicion, hatred and devoid of love; they accused Olori of many unpublishable things and lack of commitment to her marital vows. Even as you read she is not on talking terms with her in-laws. The allegations are as wide as they are wild. Back then when Olori Wuraola held sway, she had the world at her feet; she got her wishes at the snap of a finger and she literally ruled the royal household. Wherever he went, she was constantly by his side. She basked in the stratospheric adulation that came with being the apple of the Ooni’s eyes. Pray, who wouldn’t? Unfortunately, things have changed and many within the palace now snigger and sneer at her for losing her position as the queen to one of the most powerful Monarchs in Africa. Curiously, however, on arrival from a trip recently, Olori Wuraola scurried to the home of former President Olusegun Obasanjo to intervene and probably advise her husband not to be influenced to dump her like a bad habit and get another wife. Both have since gone their separate ways perhaps ruing what was and what could have been.” Source