Moderators kimi Posted November 25, 2015 Moderators Share Posted November 25, 2015 Live Learn Laugh I realized that we are always 'learning' consciously or otherwise. This thread was bourne out of the desire to create a pool of learnings such that everyone benefits from everyone else *wink* We get ahead faster when we leverage on another's experience Be generous with yours :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted November 25, 2015 Author Moderators Share Posted November 25, 2015 I learnt this a week ago: Unlike time, money, effort and so many other things, love isn't a scarce/limited resource. I'd break it down. Prior to that time (of learning that fact), I always felt the need to guard and protect the 'love' I feel for 'one' with the fear that sharing my heart with another would diminish that love I felt for the one. Now follow me carefully, don't get this mixed up. This has nothing to do with with being a player. I'm sure you are all aware I have a bf. Then I met someone. Then I had a massive problem on my hands. The 'love' I felt for him suffered. Suffered terribly because I couldn't quite find a balance. Then I came across this fact. At first, I couldn't see the sense in it. Then I couldn't apply it. And then it all started to make sense. I realized that loving him would never make me any less gay and would never cause my love for her to diminish. I realized that I could love them both because I love them in different ways. This realization has helped. My heart isn't on a leash any longer. It is programmed to love women intensely and to love a man from a place of friendship. Why all the rambling? Because someone can learn from this. We won't all be 'brave' enough to come out to the world. Careful now... I'm sharing my experience and not propagating cheating. It will come to you... but know one fact; your heart is more capable than you could ever imagine. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted November 25, 2015 Author Moderators Share Posted November 25, 2015 "Begin with the end in mind." Yesterday, I was reminded of that fact. There are several avenues to arriving at a goal. We all have life goals and sometimes, we fall into the trap of believing it would come when we stick to a certain path and that path alone. Sometimes, we change lanes. Sometimes, we modify our strategy to suit the ever evolving socio-political; socio-economic conditions. My point is, keep your eye focused on the goal and not the path with which you arrive at that goal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Yes. A heart that can multi-task is a skillful one and is capable of anything Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Yes. A heart that can multi-task is a skillful one and is capable of anything Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skills Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 I learnt this a week ago: Unlike time, money, effort and so many other things, love isn't a scarce/limited resource. I'd break it down. Prior to that time (of learning that fact), I always felt the need to guard and protect the 'love' I feel for 'one' with the fear that sharing my heart with another would diminish that love I felt for the one. Now follow me carefully, don't get this mixed up. This has nothing to do with with being a player. I'm sure you are all aware I have a bf. Then I met someone. Then I had a massive problem on my hands. The 'love' I felt for him suffered. Suffered terribly because I couldn't quite find a balance. Then I came across this fact. At first, I couldn't see the sense in it. Then I couldn't apply it. And then it all started to make sense. I realized that loving him would never make me any less gay and would never cause my love for her to diminish. I realized that I could love them both because I love them in different ways. This realization has helped. My heart isn't on a leash any longer. It is programmed to love women intensely and to love a man from a place of friendship. Why all the rambling? Because someone can learn from this. We won't all be 'brave' enough to come out to the world. Careful now... I'm sharing my experience and not propagating cheating. It will come to you... but know one fact; your heart is more capable than you could ever imagine. Nice one kimi..Nice one. I totally learnt this like ...maybe 10years ago,after I realised I could never love a male as much as I love a woman. I said,Sleeky u were born this way,embrace it or suffer. I can love a man and a woman at the same time.I know I am bisexual,but would forever lean more on the female side. Some people don't have the ability to date both at the same time.So they mostly say one is cheating.well that is their own opinion.I dont see it as cheating because its impossible to tell my bf about my other life for obvious reasons. I know I can or will never leave this closet majorly because of my family which always comes before me.Meaning whoever can be my partner MUST be a discrete person. Now,the way I work around being bisexual is being completely honest with my partner about having a bf from day one. My coping mechanism is to remind myself that they are two different people. Two different genders. who I need in my life respectively.It seems selfish, but ,it is what it is. *my2cents* 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted November 25, 2015 Author Moderators Share Posted November 25, 2015 I can totally relate... thanks Sleeky for sharing. Discreet is very crucial indeed #nodramazone Sadly, I am not bisexual but like you said, it is what it is. The woman keeps me sane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairy Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 I love this thread... thanks kimi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lala1990 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 I can totally relate with Kimi and Sleeky. Not everybody can come out, and its a fact. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted January 30, 2016 Author Moderators Share Posted January 30, 2016 "A stitch in time saves nine!" I have learnt not to string people along for longer that is necessary. If it isn't working, no amount of re-strategizing would help. At the end of the day, it's our hearts that make the decisions for us. I have learned to listen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Love is not about possession. If you love someone, let them go, not because you're stupid or naive but because if they come back to you, they were always yours to begin with and if they don't, they were never yours to begin with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted February 6, 2016 Author Moderators Share Posted February 6, 2016 Hahahaha! You are one very brave girl. Rare. if that's how you think... I would love to marry you abeg -i could go round the block all I want :D :D Except Teejay has a problem with it ofcourse :angry: To be honest, I find that love is complicated. Who can understand it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeJay Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Hahahahah. I agree with DeQueen. Only know you love 'em when you let them go. Love isn't the sparks, the butterflies in your tummy, the tingling feeling you get on your palms, toes and fingers. Love isn't just the fun part. Love is sticking even when you have no reasons to. Love is when she does not let me go even when I am injured and need closure. Love is ignoring my flaws and focusing on my best part. (Thank you for loving me) Kimi, darlyn. Don't you break her heart. Else! :angry: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamgal Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Love is not about possession. If you love someone, let them go, not because you're stupid or naive but because if they come back to you, they were always yours to begin with and if they don't, they were never yours to begin with. I agree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted February 6, 2016 Author Moderators Share Posted February 6, 2016 Hahahaha! Teejay The lyricist! . I'm no heartbreaker I think :unsure: @Dequeen, jokes apart. Valid point you made. Tough call, would never be easy to do. Not even sure I can take such a risk. Dunno. Perhaps we never know all we are capable to doing in the name of love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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