Phegore Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Hi all So,I recently came to terms with my sexuality and trust me it didn't happen over night.i went through some emotions,very similar to the five stages of grief.it began with DENIAL("No,I'm not a lesbian.i can't be"),then ANGER ("why is this happening to me ?"),BARGAINING("God,I don't want to go to hell ..please help me ..lord if I stop having this feelings ... I'll become a pastor like my parents and "maybe if I experiment a little,I'll find out I'm not actually a lesbian".),DEPRESSION("I can't believe,I might be a lesbian ...my life is ruined"),until finally I came to the most important stage:ACCEPTANCE. Accepting my sexuality has been a profound experience.it is that moment where your mind suddenly becomes crisp and clear.You stop,and realise that yes,I am a lesbian and it isn't that bad.i felt this huge weight lifted off my shoulders.suddenly,everything fell into place.All my problems had a source and all my feelings had a reason.i couldn't stop smiling. Then the next step was coming out.i kept asking myself was this necessary?,why do I need to tell anyone?.Everyone around me is homophobic.i'll be laughed at,harassed and could possibly go to jail(kirikiri prison is not my portion).After writing out the pros and cons,I decided to keep my sexuality to myself and remain in my happy bubble. Last month,I decided to tell my twin sister(my other half,my personal comedian and best friend) ...it was literally driving me crazy keeping it a secret from her.so we were talking and she said what's up with u?..and I took a deep breath and I said "I'm a lesbian" and she said "we are twins" and I said "Huh?" and she said "sorry I thought we were playing a game on saying things that are stupidly obvious" and she told me she had known for years and didn't love me any less.That was the most emotional moment of my life ...lots of tears and hugs. So that's my story,my name is Bigfish1,I'm in my early 20's,recent graduate of Unilag,I live in Lagos and so far I believe I'm a lesbian.my main interests are music,playing video games and languages.i'm learning Chinese at the moment (would be great if I found someone to practice it with).I recently found this community and the thought of it really made me happy,I have been reading a lot on here and you guys are amazing!.I have never seen so much support anywhere,I am honoured to be a part of it now and i'm open to new friendships,so why don't we talk? Quote Link to comment
milaz Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 This is so cool!Thank God for the support of family. I guess some things we aren't made to understand , they just are. Such as remarkably supportive FAM. Welcome to the spot. Its always hella crazy, and we loves it. Hehehe Quote Link to comment
Moderators kimi Posted May 1, 2017 Moderators Share Posted May 1, 2017 Awwwwh.... this has got to be by far my favourite intro yet. I laughed some at you deciding to keep news about your sexuality to yourself and remain in your happy bubble! You're in the right place with like minds... (assuming you aren't a serial killer or anything remotely close to that sha). Lol. Good to have you here Bigfish1. Make yourself at home Marsian! :D Quote Link to comment
disney Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 come on don't be shy you've just got a bear hug dear :) and a warm welcome *winks* Quote Link to comment
Phegore Posted May 1, 2017 Author Share Posted May 1, 2017 Awwwwh.... this has got to be by far my favourite intro yet. I laughed some at you deciding to keep news about your sexuality to yourself and remain in your happy bubble! You're in the right place with like minds... (assuming you aren't a serial killer or anything remotely close to that sha). Lol. Good to gave you here Bigfish1. Make yourself at home tiger! :D/> Thank u very much kimi...I already feel at home. Quote Link to comment
Phegore Posted May 1, 2017 Author Share Posted May 1, 2017 come on don't be shy you've just got a bear hug dear :)/> and a warm welcome *winks* Awwww thank u Quote Link to comment
Teewhy Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 So emotional and alluring. Believe me, you are in the right place. Welcome Bigfish.... Well, if some of us start to talk abt our stories, you guys would cry. A topic for another day soon, or maybe a diary in here by me, who knows. Quote Link to comment
Phegore Posted May 1, 2017 Author Share Posted May 1, 2017 This is so cool!Thank God for the support of family. I guess some things we aren't made to understand , they just are. Such as remarkably supportive FAM. Welcome to the spot. Its always hella crazy, and we loves it. Hehehe Yes I'm very thankful for the love of my family....It has been truly amazing . Quote Link to comment
Teewhy Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 So emotional and alluring. Believe me, you are in the right place. Welcome Bigfish.... Well, if some of us start to talk abt our stories, you guys would cry. A topic for another day soon, or maybe a diary in here by me, who knows. Quote Link to comment
Phegore Posted May 1, 2017 Author Share Posted May 1, 2017 So emotional and alluring. Believe me, you are in the right place. Welcome Bigfish.... Well, if some of us start to talk abt our stories, you guys would cry. A topic for another day soon, or maybe a diary in here by me, who knows. Thank u for the warm welcome. Quote Link to comment
Hawken Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Have to agree with Kimi, yours is the best intro so far. Welcome to the community Bigfish Quote Link to comment
Phegore Posted May 1, 2017 Author Share Posted May 1, 2017 Have to agree with Kimi, yours is the best intro so far. Welcome to the community Bigfish Thank u hawken. Quote Link to comment
Administrators FlyJ Posted May 1, 2017 Administrators Share Posted May 1, 2017 Welcome on board Bigfish1.I enjoyed reading your story and the different stages/progressions you had to go through before arriving at acceptance. The good thing is that you have decided to accept your sexuality. Need I say the hell fire talk I think is bs. It's a big step and I always advice ladies to embrace their sexuality. Live the best life you can and don't worry about the sexuality repercussions (hell fire etc)...I am very sure there isn't any. I also think its a smart decision to keep your sexuality to yourself and remain in your happy bubble. On a lighter note...you r indeed a big fish! Quote Link to comment
Phegore Posted May 1, 2017 Author Share Posted May 1, 2017 Welcome on board Bigfish1.I enjoyed reading your story and the different stages/progressions you had to go through before arriving at acceptance. The good thing is that you have decided to accept your sexuality. Need I say the hell fire talk I think is bs. It's a big step and I always advice ladies to embrace their sexuality. Live the best life you can and don't worry about the sexuality repercussions (hell fire etc)...I am very sure there isn't any. I also think its a smart decision to keep your sexuality to yourself and remain in your happy bubble. On a lighter note...you r indeed a big fish! I appreciate your kind words...anyways,you are very correct.Religious guilt(Fear of hell) was one the reasons I was stuck in the depression stage for years.Then I was surfing the net one day and i saw an article on Oprah.com--Ask deepak:how to accept your sexuality and the author advised on reading books on modern faith and gay tolerance and I found two extremely helpful books and that led me to the acceptance stage.The books are: *The children are free:Reexamining the biblical evidence on same-sex relationships by Rev.jeff mine and John Tyler Connoley(2002). *The Good book:Reading the bible with mind and heart by Peter Gomes(1996). I think a lot of people go through religious guilt (especially ithose from very religious families). Quote Link to comment
Phegore Posted May 2, 2017 Author Share Posted May 2, 2017 Awwwwh.... this has got to be by far my favourite intro yet. I laughed some at you deciding to keep news about your sexuality to yourself and remain in your happy bubble! You're in the right place with like minds... (assuming you aren't a serial killer or anything remotely close to that sha). Lol. Good to have you here Bigfish1. Make yourself at home Marsian! :D/> Lol kimi I didn't see this the first time ...serial killer ke!...u watch too much crime channel. Quote Link to comment
ChocoPops Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Awwww greatest akokaite....greaaattt! Awwwww touching intro...welcome Bigfish...happy to have you here... feel at home lol Quote Link to comment
Phegore Posted May 2, 2017 Author Share Posted May 2, 2017 Awwww greatest akokaite....greaaattt! Awwwww touching intro...welcome Bigfish...happy to have you here... feel at home lol Lol@greatest akokaite...great Quote Link to comment
VINA Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Awwwww. So touching. Happy for you. Welcome on board bigfish. Lots of nets shall soon be cast into the sea. Lol Quote Link to comment
Administrators FlyJ Posted May 2, 2017 Administrators Share Posted May 2, 2017 Awwwww. So touching. Happy for you. Welcome on board bigfish. Lots of nets shall soon be cast into the sea. Lol Lol...says Vina the keeper...lol Quote Link to comment
Phegore Posted May 2, 2017 Author Share Posted May 2, 2017 Awwwww. So touching. Happy for you. Welcome on board bigfish. Lots of nets shall soon be cast into the sea. Lol Lol vina keeper toh bad Quote Link to comment
milaz Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Hahahahaaha. Na wa o. Skills are too many on this group . Lol vina keeper toh bad Quote Link to comment
Phegore Posted May 2, 2017 Author Share Posted May 2, 2017 Hahahahaaha. Na wa o. Skills are too many on this group . Lol ....that's how we roll Quote Link to comment
Phegore Posted May 2, 2017 Author Share Posted May 2, 2017 The nets are here darling. Just look inwards and cast yours. Where is my glasses ...why am I seeing only darling Quote Link to comment
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