ria Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 I moved closer to her,and took the vibrator...I replaced it with my fingers Cause I wanted to have her juice on my fingers She was f***king wet Ooooooooooh Ooooooohgosh Yessssss Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah She moaned She begged me to eat her Oh baby, stick your tongue in it Taste how sweet mummy is She said as she dragged my head into her p**sy Irene was busy fingering herself and sucking mummy's boobs Irene squeezed them and mummy moaned Oooooh I was sticking my tongue inside her I could taste her, could smell her Her juice was sending my sex drive from 1 to 100 Oooooooooh Aaaaaaaaaaaah Fucccccck Shiiiiiiit Yeah baby O my gosh The moaning was coming from both Zoe and Irene Irene squirted and was more relaxed, she tasted her juice and put some in Zoe's mouth with her fingers Hmmmmm Ira you taste so good She smiled and Zoe began to jerk on my face Ohhhhhh Shiiiit Yessss Fucccck Don't stop I'm almost there I'm about to cum she pushed my head inside further and released on my face Yes you little bitch, mummy is going to make you hers totally She released and her juice were in my mouth, as I used my hands to squeeze her boobs and swallow her juice She tasted really good I felt very high I wanted more Mummy stood up and went to the locker she saw Irene laying down tired and she smiled and said Irene you can leave You had a sixty percent on your orals Kim is staying, we still have some unfinished business she said as she brought out the key and a strap on I sat there and looked like a lamb ready for slaughter Mummy really meant business Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 Nice.. I Enjoyed reading this.. But it's not my type of scene. More ink to your pen ria. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ria Posted November 24, 2017 Author Share Posted November 24, 2017 1 minute ago, Ivyy said: Nice.. I Enjoyed reading this.. But it's not my type of scene. More ink to your pen ria. Thank you ivvy I need criticism please This is my first erotic story and I wrote it straight from my head Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teewhy Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 29 minutes ago, ria said: Thank you ivvy I need criticism please This is my first erotic story and I wrote it straight from my head Being the first, you tried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ria Posted November 24, 2017 Author Share Posted November 24, 2017 2 minutes ago, Teewhy said: Being the first, you tried. Thanks tee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 53 minutes ago, ria said: Thank you ivvy I need criticism please This is my first erotic story and I wrote it straight from my head You write well.. You just need to edit more.. And the scene I was talking about is the sex scenes. It's got nothing to do with your writing. Cheers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Covfefe Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 And show, don't tell. Vivid description aids the story-telling process. Punctuation too. The story was juicy but the serial "shit, arrgghh, f***k" wouldn't let it be great. Nice first attempt though. Would love to read more stories from you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moncheri Posted September 23, 2018 Share Posted September 23, 2018 Hnmmmm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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