Moderators kimi Posted February 10, 2018 Moderators Share Posted February 10, 2018 Over the radio the other day, there was a topic I considered rather interesting. Here it is: A. If you were seeing someone (dating, nothing official), would you expect that they stopped dating other people and focus on you both or is it okay with you that they may very well be dating multiple others alongside you? B. How long into dating would you think that both parties need to stop seeing other people on the side? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedSafire Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 Is it a committed relationship? Or just seeing, seeing? You know sex on the side, occasional outings or just plain bed warming when needed? If you define what the seeing is, then you know what the answer should be. No one in a committed relationship wants to hear a partner is “seeing” someone else. It’s a no-no and that goes for all sexual preferences gay or not. I do not think when you start a relation you actually know that it will be a committed one. I believe people generally just go with the flow and make that determination along the way. But then, there are those who know from the on set that they do want a committed relationship and kick start the relationship in that tone. Kicking all others out and concentrating on building a “forever after”—if such exists—with that person. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damiee Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 I’m a one on one kind of girl. If we are dating, I would put everything into it and hope for the best and that includes being exclusive. I would not just expect the same from her but have a conversation about it as well so we are all on the same page. Dating exclusivity is all about communication. If intentions are clear from the beginning, the likelihood of anyone getting hurt is minimal. I don’t think there is a time frame as to when both parties should be exclusive. It depends on both of them and how they feel and when they both get to that point when they feel they can and want to be committed to the other. Person A may get there sooner than person B so there is really no specific time in my opinion. Everyone should do whatever works for them 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted February 10, 2018 Author Moderators Share Posted February 10, 2018 1 hour ago, Damiee said: I’m a one on one kind of girl. If we are dating, I would put everything into it and hope for the best and that includes being exclusive. Now... this right here describes perfectly my approach. I on the otherhand may not have that conversation, i'll simply assume you're just like me. Lol. Truth is I'm quite discerning... from conversations, I can uaually tell whose ways are not straight. Lol. B. In my matured years, I tend to go into relationships with the hope that it would be long-term. So If you sum up A and B, nopes! We've gats to be exclusive from the get go Lol. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teewhy Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 I have been a one woman at a time kinda lady. So, from the word go, I define my relationship so quickly that you won't have any excuse to give. Excuses like, I never knew what you wanted kinda talk! We both gonna have to be on the same page. I have always been very committed in my relationships, no dating or seeing or whatever anybody else, and I put all my best in to us, even my energy. B. Well, what works for me Miss Y might not work for you Miss Z. Paddle your own canoe and know what works for you. Act independently and decide your own fate. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damiee Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 16 hours ago, kimi said: I on the otherhand may not have that conversation, i'll simply assume you're just like me. Lol. Truth is I'm quite discerning... from conversations, I can uaually tell whose ways are not straight. Lol. Lol @ bolded. Don’t you think that leaves room for ambiguity though? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Like frendz said, it depends on if it's a committed relationship.. Relationships for me are pretty much exclusive. But.. ..There have been a couple of times when I have 'dated' people without caring to know if the person is dating others.and it's because I didnt want exclusivity. And maybe it's because for me, the word Dating is relative. Dating in the real sense, is when two people come together to explore if they could have romantic or sexual feelings for one another. And some people can have dates on a regular basis without catching feelings or having sex. And for some, on the first date, they already in love, by the second date, they having sex. And there are people who go on dates while in an existing relationship..Maybe the relationship is complicated so they decide to explore. If I am dating someone, and I want to be exclusive, we'll need to have the 'talk' just to define things. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted February 11, 2018 Author Moderators Share Posted February 11, 2018 31 minutes ago, Damiee said: Lol @ bolded. Don’t you think that leaves room for ambiguity though? Haaa. Big grammer. This is exactly why Blackychan finds it hard relating here 😁 lol. It certainly does and not the best of approaches. Alas, I'm just too shy being so direct. Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teewhy Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Just now, kimi said: This is exactly why Blackychan finds it hard relating here 😁 lol. Haha, that girl is something else. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damiee Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 5 minutes ago, kimi said: Haaa. Big grammer. This is exactly why Blackychan finds it hard relating here 😁 lol. It certainly does and not the best of approaches. Alas, I'm just too shy being so direct. Lol. Lmao I will tone it down. Lol I see, good thing you are discerning 😁 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 1 hour ago, Teewhy said: Haha, that girl is something else. Aunty! How are we sure you are not the one!! I'm suspecting you sef Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 For me it all boils down to communication. What do you want from me? At first it's all fun, we are going out, having fun, having sex and nothing has been said so I really cannot expect you not to see other people. Then the word girlfriend comes into play, we now say I love you at the end of calls and people now know us as a couple, aunty you now have to stop seeing other people. You can't eat your cake and have it back.( Trust me, im a large cake, you wouldn't even be able to finish me). At this point we talk about it and come to an agreement. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teewhy Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 13 minutes ago, vina said: Aunty! How are we sure you are not the one!! I'm suspecting you sef Ha! That one that is looking for a girlfriend? Me, I already have one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hipstar Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 From the word 'go', I think parties involved should define what it is they intend to do or are doing. There shouldn't have to be a time frame to becoming exclusive. Besides, not everyone is into one time things or meaningless sex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChazBee Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 The moment I start liking a girl I will start throwing in talks about love and relationships, that's me trying to get your opinion about things and from your points and /arguments I'll know the kind of person you're and your perspectives as against mine then I'll decide. Friends have asked why I use this approach and I've argued that people most time say one thing and do another especially in LGBT community, this is because slot of us are still going through the self discovery stage and do not even know our capabilities and preferences as many of us haven't swam the water enough to know what the options are so for this I always rely on my instincts and discernment abilities. B. There is no time frame as to when to take things to the other level, in our community we're used to spontaneous happenings. Hell, someone just falls madly in love with you the moment they realize you have same sexual preferences like they do and sometimes it happens without your permission so that the moment y'all have the consent conversation they're all over you and there will be no time to decide or discuss anything . It's a crazy unplanned life. Trust me 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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