Oldlover Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 So I live in Lagos and have been looking to start a new relationship recently. But my goodness. While i have a lot of friends who are lesbian/bisexual, it almost feels like everyone has shagged everyone else! I get why it's hard/dangerous, especially in our society, to get out of the spaces/people you know, and try and meet new people, I'm really not trying to get into that murky space(ugh, gross). I'm really a private person who doesn't much like my business out there. I also work from home which means i dont go out that often. So how do you meet new people? Especially in Lagos. Mainland to be precise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teewhy Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 28 minutes ago, Oldlover said: it almost feels like everyone has shagged everyone else! This got me rolling on the floor laughing out so loud. Jeez!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oldlover Posted February 11, 2018 Author Share Posted February 11, 2018 Just now, Teewhy said: This got me rolling on the floor laughing out so loud. Jeez!!!! But it's true now. Yesterday I was gisting with a friend about the some of the girls we know and it was like, "yeah you know A dated B now? Was that before B and D had their thing? Oh, yeah A and D had that long term thing where D almost set B's house on fire." Um. No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted February 11, 2018 Moderators Share Posted February 11, 2018 Hmmm... Just one question -it makes all the difference. Are you a single mother OR Is your husband aware and comfortable with you starting a new relationship with another? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlet Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Just here to read comments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChazBee Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 2 hours ago, kimi said: Hmmm... Just one question -it makes all the difference. Are you a single mother OR Is your husband aware and comfortable with you starting a new relationship with another? Oh Kimi God bless you for asking the question some of us ommit at first.... Cos the married ones always forget to add it to their profile 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted February 11, 2018 Moderators Share Posted February 11, 2018 7 minutes ago, ChazBee said: Cos the married ones always forget to add it to their profile Hahahahaha at the bolded Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 Are you looking for a virgin? Someone that hasn't f***ked anyone else in their life? Then just state it. There's no clean slate in the game boo, we all have exes and it's just a pity that our community is small so shiit happens. Nobody is going to be sorry for kissing so many frogs before finally meeting princess Charming but if you insist, there are so many straight girls who are bicurious, your game just has to be lit!. #abeg let me fly fence here.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 Thankyou @vina. After reading this topic, I decided to write an essay on this "everyone has shagged everyone" shit. Like there's so much that members of this community don't seem to understand. Or have blatantly decided to ignore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 57 minutes ago, dequeen said: Thankyou @vina. After reading this topic, I decided to write an essay on this "everyone has shagged everyone" shit. Like there's so much that members of this community don't seem to understand. Or have blatantly decided to ignore. Biko write and post, it's a very nice topic and people Need to understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oldlover Posted February 12, 2018 Author Share Posted February 12, 2018 23 hours ago, kimi said: Hmmm... Just one question -it makes all the difference. Are you a single mother OR Is your husband aware and comfortable with you starting a new relationship with another? Marriage ended in the last few months. We've both moved on to other relationships. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oldlover Posted February 12, 2018 Author Share Posted February 12, 2018 7 hours ago, vina said: Are you looking for a virgin? Someone that hasn't f***ked anyone else in their life? Then just state it. There's no clean slate in the game boo, we all have exes and it's just a pity that our community is small so shiit happens. Nobody is going to be sorry for kissing so many frogs before finally meeting princess Charming but if you insist, there are so many straight girls who are bicurious, your game just has to be lit!. #abeg let me fly fence here.. I think you may have misunderstood my statement. No, I didn't say I was looking for a virgin. I just meant that in MY circle of queer friends, seems to me like everyone within that circle has shagged everyone else. Maybe it's me being naive. I wasn't talking about having lots of exes. Who doesn't? I'm just looking to go outside the circle of people I know. Wasn't meaning to sound judgemental. Sorry if I did. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oldlover Posted February 12, 2018 Author Share Posted February 12, 2018 6 hours ago, dequeen said: Thankyou @vina. After reading this topic, I decided to write an essay on this "everyone has shagged everyone" shit. Like there's so much that members of this community don't seem to understand. Or have blatantly decided to ignore. I'm a little confused. Did I say something wrong? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oldlover Posted February 12, 2018 Author Share Posted February 12, 2018 Um... I'm sensing a vibe here that I don't quite understand. Did I say something wrong? I wasn't trying to suggest no one should have exes or shag who they want to. I was speaking specifically about my circle of queer friends and wanting to go outside the circle of MY friends. Maybe I'm reading something into nothing. I've been known to do that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 8 minutes ago, Oldlover said: I think you may have misunderstood my statement. No, I didn't say I was looking for a virgin. I just meant that in MY circle of queer friends, seems to me like everyone within that circle has shagged everyone else. Maybe it's me being naive. I wasn't talking about having lots of exes. Who doesn't? I'm just looking to go outside the circle of people I know. Wasn't meaning to sound judgemental. Sorry if I did. Clarified and Understood... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 Well, to me, the need to date outside your circle is understandable. The whole drama of dating someone who has dated someone or people you know is emotionally stressful. Plus it makes for awkward situations. However, what this means is you'll have to step outside of your circle and put yourself out there. Go on social media, mostly twitter. The lesbians and bisexuals on twitter are very bold. On IG, troll for stories concerning homosexual people. Check the comments, its always divided between homophobes who want us to born in hell and gay people furiously defending themselves. You can't miss us. Anybody who makes a positive comment on such posts is either gay or really cool (win win). Queer people are quite artsy. So you may want to go watch a play or two, visit galleries, or that thing where people go and read poems on stage (I've forgotten the word). Also there's this event hosted at Hardrock Cafe called "She rocks", its always teeming with lesbians according to my friend who hasn't missed any edition till date. So yeah, if you don't want to have to be comparing notes with your friends concerning bae , put yourself out there. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oldlover Posted February 12, 2018 Author Share Posted February 12, 2018 Thank you Hawken. I was beginning to wonder if I had somehow put my foot in it. I shall look up She Rocks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oldlover Posted February 12, 2018 Author Share Posted February 12, 2018 4 hours ago, Hawken said: Well, to me, the need to date outside your circle is understandable. The whole drama of dating someone who has dated someone or people you know is emotionally stressful. Plus it makes for awkward situations. However, what this means is you'll have to step outside of your circle and put yourself out there. Go on social media, mostly twitter. The lesbians and bisexuals on twitter are very bold. On IG, troll for stories concerning homosexual people. Check the comments, its always divided between homophobes who want us to born in hell and gay people furiously defending themselves. You can't miss us. Anybody who makes a positive comment on such posts is either gay or really cool (win win). Queer people are quite artsy. So you may want to go watch a play or two, visit galleries, or that thing where people go and read poems on stage (I've forgotten the word). Also there's this event hosted at Hardrock Cafe called "She rocks", its always teeming with lesbians according to my friend who hasn't missed any edition till date. So yeah, if you don't want to have to be comparing notes with your friends concerning bae , put yourself out there. Thank you Hawken. I was beginning to wonder if I had somehow put my foot in it. I shall look up She Rocks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teewhy Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 4 hours ago, Hawken said: Well, to me, the need to date outside your circle is understandable. The whole drama of dating someone who has dated someone or people you know is emotionally stressful. Plus it makes for awkward situations. However, what this means is you'll have to step outside of your circle and put yourself out there. Go on social media, mostly twitter. The lesbians and bisexuals on twitter are very bold. On IG, troll for stories concerning homosexual people. Check the comments, its always divided between homophobes who want us to born in hell and gay people furiously defending themselves. You can't miss us. Anybody who makes a positive comment on such posts is either gay or really cool (win win). Queer people are quite artsy. So you may want to go watch a play or two, visit galleries, or that thing where people go and read poems on stage (I've forgotten the word). Also there's this event hosted at Hardrock Cafe called "She rocks", its always teeming with lesbians according to my friend who hasn't missed any edition till date. So yeah, if you don't want to have to be comparing notes with your friends concerning bae , put yourself out there. Nice one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 On 2/12/2018 at 2:20 PM, Oldlover said: I think you may have misunderstood my statement. No, I didn't say I was looking for a virgin. I just meant that in MY circle of queer friends, seems to me like everyone within that circle has shagged everyone else. Maybe it's me being naive. I wasn't talking about having lots of exes. Who doesn't? I'm just looking to go outside the circle of people I know. Wasn't meaning to sound judgemental. Sorry if I did. Something new outside ur zone..... Makes sense to me... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boldie Posted March 31, 2018 Share Posted March 31, 2018 You are so modest and calm. That first few responses would have found me with a red face. It's official, I like you. I don't do that often. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boldie Posted March 31, 2018 Share Posted March 31, 2018 Being married doesn't stop you from being in a relationship. When you see/read/hear married, there is this defence mechanism that switch on in many, or maybe they turn to Sherlock Holmes sa. But IMO, knowing more about it should be between the person and the would be/interested partner. It doesnt necessarily have to be an open discussion. Because I think it'll only make people get really defensive or turn them into liars/pretenders. I dated a married woman once, actually she was my first. We lost contact, I came back and met her married cos she thought, since she couldn't get a hold of me, id gone with them big yiansh people of Pretoria. But we were so in love and we just couldn't just let it go. So yeah, I was with her (off and on, she can break up for Africa lol) since 2009 till early last year. And no single/single relationship could match what we had, being faithful to one another and knowing one another inside out. In fact Bring out the judgements, we bleeped in her house many times. I love her son like my own and he called me mummy A. Hehehe fun dude. Her hubby somehow finally knew we were lovers and would just laugh at us and even report her if she ain't giving up d pinky. So please. Leave the married and let them breathe!!! ***Walks away with the mic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boldie Posted March 31, 2018 Share Posted March 31, 2018 PS: Cheating is cheating. Adultery and fornicating na same same. None is better than the other, Maybe we'll be neighbors on cheaters street in hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted March 31, 2018 Moderators Share Posted March 31, 2018 Leave the married? Clearly we all have different views and because we do, it is only fair and the right thing to do to let the other know the circumstances surrounding your situation. Being "open" about such things allows for people to make an informed decision if you asked me. I honestly can't believe I'm having this conversation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamgal Posted April 2, 2018 Share Posted April 2, 2018 On Saturday, March 31, 2018 at 2:12 AM, boldie said: You are so modest and calm. That first few responses would have found me with a red face. It's official, I like you. I don't do that often. My thoughts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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