Administrators FlyJ Posted August 30, 2018 Administrators Share Posted August 30, 2018 Source Should the guy have handled things differently or is he right eloping? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VINA Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 I applaud the man's courage jor. The only thing is he should try and take care of his kids but he's brave for finally taking the bull by the horns. It's never too late to start living. The woman will move on. On a lighter note, why do Nigerian women take anything at all when it comes to marriage??? Kai!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted August 30, 2018 Moderators Share Posted August 30, 2018 The woman must be utterly devastated... The fraud of a marriage has left a victim in its wake. It was a very selfish thing to do. A life of deceit. Nonsense! I'm sad it happened to her PS - what is wrong is wrong. Let's not support injustice and insensitivity in the name of solidarity. It's a different thing altogether if he had told her of his sexuality from the get-go. Loool though @ Lagos being the new Atlanta with lots of single over correct chics lol. Guilty as charged. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted August 31, 2018 Share Posted August 31, 2018 Bump Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlet Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 I do not fault the gay man, rather I blame this on society for criminalizing homosexuality, and breeding homophobia. Because come to think of it, if we live in a freer society, one that do not persistently humiliate, oppress and maim homosexuals, stories like this would be avoided and never have to occur in the first place. People would live their truth, and nobody would have to hurt anybody. homophobia breeds dysfunctionality, promote instability in many homes and until the society stop judging gay people, and start treating us as a human person, then they should brace up, cos many more gay man and women are littered everywhere waiting patiently to elope with their lover, at any given opportunity that comes up. Stop homophobia first. It does alot of damage to society until then, this is just the beginning, and I in no way feel any ounce of pity. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted September 2, 2018 Moderators Share Posted September 2, 2018 Lol. I fault your analysis. While I understand your thought process, it still doesn't excuse the misbehaviour. We can't always go blaming our decisions or the outcomes of our lives on society or the government. The buck has to stop with us. To each their own. Homophobia isn't the real problem. If it were made legal today, lots still won't come out. Peope care about appearances and would risk ruining another's life to look like everyone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlet Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 1 hour ago, kimi said: Lol. I fault your analysis. While I understand your thought process, it still doesn't excuse the misbehaviour. We can't always go blaming our decisions or the outcomes of our lives on society or the government. The buck has to stop with us. To each their own. Homophobia isn't the real problem. If it were made legal today, lots still won't come out. people care about appearances and would risk ruining another's life to look like everyone else. @bold People wouldnt care so much about appearances if they weren't in the first place, socialized to be and act in a certain way from their formative years. So, these people grow up wanting to be and act like others, which inadvertently veer towards meeting the expectation(s)of family, loved ones and friends because everyone else's does it hence conformity. Do we now fault them? Do you know society plays an enormous role in influencing a person's life? Do you know how so many gay people are shamed, mocked, cussed, humiliated and dehumanize because they came out to their family, refusing to follow imposing societal norms? (not everyone has enough courage to go through this hideous process) Do you also know that if homophobia seize, people would have no reason to pretend or care much about appearances ? It all boils down to society, not people. Because if society becomes accepting, people wouldn't want to live a lie anymore.. nor we they marry unsuspecting men and women to avoid judgement. FYI, It can be mentally draining and physically tiring to keep up with such lifestyle. Ask those who are in it. instead people will just be people and live their best lives with whom they love, they might not necessarily come out, or marry a same sex person, but they won't subject themselves to perpetual misery and a life full of unhappiness. Stop homophobia, and issues like this would be avoided. It is a simple logic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted September 2, 2018 Moderators Share Posted September 2, 2018 Looool. We may need to agree to disagree. All I see is a blame game. I'm of the school of thought that our destinies are in our own hands. I don't believe in going through life blaming everyone else except for myself for how I have turned out. Those who have made history did so because they stood by their dreams against all odds and a lot of these odds were in the form of discrimination, disability or poverty. Society would always be dysfunctional because it comprises of imperfect individuals who each have their own ulterior motives. I'm a firm believer of "Be the change you want to see in the world". People should be matured enough to understand that every action has its own consequence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted September 3, 2018 Share Posted September 3, 2018 I think a friends husband is queer but I don't know how to tell her. I understand its not my place as its not like we are best friends or something. But she's going through so much pain and its very sad to watch. When i met him before they got married I suspected, after they got married and I got wind of what was happening in their marriage, it kinda just confirmed it. I mentioned my suspicions to another friend who is closer to her though... Maybe they will talk about it. Nobody deserves to suffer for another persons cowardice. If you have to marry to conform, then please settle for an arranged marriage. Preferably with a lesbian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted September 3, 2018 Moderators Share Posted September 3, 2018 1 hour ago, Hawken said: I think a friends husband is queer but I don't know how to tell her. I understand its not my place as its not like we are best friends or something. But she's going through so much pain and its very sad to watch. When i met him before they got married I suspected, after they got married and I got wind of what was happening in their marriage, it kinda just confirmed it. I mentioned my suspicions to another friend who is closer to her though... Maybe they will talk about it. Nobody deserves to suffer for another persons cowardice. If you have to marry to conform, then please settle for an arranged marriage. Preferably with a lesbian. Thanks Hawken for the words in bold. It irks the heck out of me when people justify this nonsense and worse still when they come here to pick who they want to cheat on their spouses with! It's sad she's having to go through this... sad really. My love to her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted September 3, 2018 Share Posted September 3, 2018 59 minutes ago, kimi said: Thanks Hawken for the words in bold. It irks the heck out of me when people justify this nonsense and worse still when they come here to pick who they want to cheat on their spouses with! It's sad she's having to go through this... sad really. My love to her Sometimes it takes some things hitting close to home for some people to get it. Everytime I see things like this, I am reminded of the series "When We Rise". When the HIV epidemic hit the USA, it was the gays problem. They were left to die and very little was done to help them. They were blamed for it and the general public said it was their punishment from God for being gay. That is until their straight sons, fathers, uncles and even women started to get infected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MENA Posted September 3, 2018 Share Posted September 3, 2018 We are always playing the blame game when it comes to the reality of life. But the truth is, you can never really tell not until you are in those shoes. Most times we unconsciously live our lifes without us knowing. And that's the reason why many a times we wish we can turn the hand of the clock, we would have done things differently. Life is so complicated that sometimes we consciously let people(love ones) make decisions for us out of pressure or trust. And many a times these decisions fails in the future. The life is full of pressures and constrains but we should try our best to live it consciously by trying to be responsible for every decision we make. People have the right to their own opinions but it mustn't be that you must accept it because you love them(family, lover, friend, spiritual leader etc) Always have a time for thoughts processing and make your decisions base on your own convictions. Babes that is just the only way to true happines😁😎 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 Conformity is a formidable monster to overcome. To not conform is to be cast out, to be cast out in reality is to be free but we are taught to believe that to be cast out is to die, to wither away. The courage to overcome conformity does not come only from ones self, even though that's a major, you still need people outside of yourself to see you safely to the other side, to help you see that despite the storm, they've seen the shore, it's beautiful, you're almost there. Everyone is to blame in this game. No one is to be blamed in this game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 15 hours ago, dequeen said: Everyone is to blame in this game. No one is to be blamed in this game. "I belong to everybody and i belong to nobody" 😓 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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