Moderators kimi Posted March 16, 2019 Moderators Share Posted March 16, 2019 Last night, I was having a conversation with the girlfriend. I was sulking. Lol. and she was trying to cheer me up. Lol. I was being a big baby at some point I must confess. Lol. I then tell her that it isn't her responsibility to make me happy or to manage my emotions for me. That I alone hold the power to choose whether or not I want to stay happy or dwell because after all, happiness is a choice. What are your thoughts about this girls? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted March 16, 2019 Author Moderators Share Posted March 16, 2019 Here's my take: I honestly don't believe in putting this sort of pressure on another -to cater to me in this way- purely because by and large, I think relationships could be quite conplex and I would rather not add the strain that comes along with putting this sort of load on another. I would gladly do this for her though... I just would rather not get her stressed on my account 🙄☻🖤 I certainly need her to care enough to ask and be concerned but ultimately my thoughts are that if I do love her, I should pick myself up and put on my big girl pants as much as I possibly can. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule (as some type of sadness takes sometimes a whole village to get one out of. Olorun o ni jeka ri. Lol). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 52 minutes ago, kimi said: Here's my take: I honestly don't believe in putting this sort of pressure on another -to cater to me in this way- purely because by and large, I think relationships could be quite conplex and I would rather not add the strain that comes along with putting this sort of load on another. I would gladly do this for her though... I just would rather not get her stressed on my account 🙄☻🖤 I certainly need her to care enough to ask and be concerned but ultimately my thoughts are that if I do love her, I should pick myself up and put on my big girl pants as much as I possibly can. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule (as some type of sadness takes sometimes a whole village to get one out of. Olorun o ni jeka ri. Lol). Very true. This just mirrored my exact thoughts on the Topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 True, happiness is a choice like you said and everyone holds the powers to make those choices. Personally if my partner is in same place like you stated above, I always try to want to get her out of it, even when it's clear that she wants to get out of the state on her own accord. Basically I think I care too much.. I am sorta like your Girlfriend..Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 4 hours ago, kimi said: Here's my take: I honestly don't believe in putting this sort of pressure on another -to cater to me in this way- purely because by and large, I think relationships could be quite conplex and I would rather not add the strain that comes along with putting this sort of load on another. I would gladly do this for her though... I just would rather not get her stressed on my account 🙄☻🖤 I certainly need her to care enough to ask and be concerned but ultimately my thoughts are that if I do love her, I should pick myself up and put on my big girl pants as much as I possibly can. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule (as some type of sadness takes sometimes a whole village to get one out of. Olorun o ni jeka ri. Lol). I agree. Life outside of a relationship can be stressful enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 3 hours ago, Txunamy said: True, happiness is a choice like you said and everyone holds the powers to make those choices. Personally if my partner is in same place like you stated above, I always try to want to get her out of it, even when it's clear that she wants to get out of the state on her own accord. Basically I think I care too much.. I am sorta like your Girlfriend..Lol Some find happiness having a drink at the local strip club with friends. Sometimes you just have to leave people be to find happiness on their own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 1 hour ago, Michelle said: Some find happiness having a drink at the local strip club with friends. Sometimes you just have to leave people be to find happiness on their own. True. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimy Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 It's good we try to understand our partners/friends well. So we won't be doing more harm (i.e pissing them off more, or worsening the situation) when our intentions is purely to help them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 5 hours ago, Mimy said: It's good we try to understand our partners/friends well. So we won't be doing more harm (i.e pissing them off more, or worsening the situation) when our intentions is purely to help them. I also Agree with this.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluelion Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 3 hours ago, Txunamy said: I also Agree with this.. I also agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluelion Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 18 hours ago, kimi said: Last night, I was having a conversation with the girlfriend. I was sulking. Lol. and she was trying to cheer me up. Lol. I was being a big baby at some point I must confess. Lol. I then tell her that it isn't her responsibility to make me happy or to manage my emotions for me. That I alone hold the power to choose whether or not I want to stay happy or dwell because after all, happiness is a choice. What are your thoughts about this girls? Some people (take me for example) ,feel it is their responsibility to make their girlfriend happy and wouldn't just let her be. They will find ways to keep doing things that will naturally lift her emotions without allowing for a knee-jerk approach. Some on the other hand , need to deal with their emotions on their own. I like being left alone when i am unhappy. When she notices though, i pick up myself faster as i don't want her to feel shut out for too long. I think it all boils down to the kind of person you are, who your girlfriend is and the understanding you have about each other. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators kimi Posted March 17, 2019 Author Moderators Share Posted March 17, 2019 Welcome welcome @bluelion I see you... 🖐 Lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 6 hours ago, bluelion said: I also agree. Hey @bluelion Nice having you here..Welcome back to the fold😃 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Txunamy Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 6 hours ago, bluelion said: Some people (take me for example) ,feel it is their responsibility to make their girlfriend happy and wouldn't just let her be. They will find ways to keep doing things that will naturally lift her emotions without allowing for a knee-jerk approach. Some on the other hand , need to deal with their emotions on their own. I like being left alone when i am unhappy. When she notices though, i pick up myself faster as i don't want her to feel shut out for too long. I think it all boils down to the kind of person you are, who your girlfriend is and the understanding you have about each other. Yups Yups Yups... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MENA Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 On 3/17/2019 at 4:26 AM, bluelion said: Some people (take me for example) ,feel it is their responsibility to make their girlfriend happy and wouldn't just let her be. They will find ways to keep doing things that will naturally lift her emotions without allowing for a knee-jerk approach. Some on the other hand , need to deal with their emotions on their own. I like being left alone when i am unhappy. When she notices though, i pick up myself faster as i don't want her to feel shut out for too long. I think it all boils down to the kind of person you are, who your girlfriend is and the understanding you have about each other. I agree with you This is a very important and a sensitive issue in a relationship. People are different. As a partner is not our responsibility to activate bea's mood at all time. Sometimes people just want to have a moment to themselves not because they are angry or anything. Sometimes they want a moment to process things. All you need to do is to ask to know if all is well and if she says its well, just let her be. You don't have to try so hard as if London bridge has fallen. It has nothing to do with you is a personality thing. All the years growning up, l had mood swings. Most times is not because l am angry with anybody or as if there is a problem is just a moment to myself with myself(mostly to process things deeply). My family knows and understand such moment. They only needed to know if l was really ok and then they let me have my moment. All the relationship l have had, my partners tried to understand and respected such moments except my ex. Who will normally make a big deal out of it and ended up getting me upset most times. I tried to make her understand that it has nothing to do with her but still she would want to force me out of it. I remember one of those moment she just move out of the house for about a week because l wasn't in a talking mood when she got back from an outing. And most times she will choose to go to the extreme to even complicate things the more and l always ended up being pressurised from the clear state of mind which l was.( my moment). Allow people to process things on their own. If she needs you, you will know. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluelion Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 On 3/17/2019 at 9:25 AM, kimi said: Welcome welcome @bluelion I see you... 🖐 Lol 😊 Thank you Most Reverend. Lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluelion Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 On 3/17/2019 at 10:40 AM, Txunamy said: Hey @bluelion Nice having you here..Welcome back to the fold😃 😊 Thank you dearest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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