As queen, I can only marry a woman –Dunkwu, Omu of Anioma

[FlyJ]

The Omu of Anioma, Martha Dunkwu, is a revered traditional ruler of Anioma land, which covers nine local government areas in Delta State. Anioma people are the Igbo located in Delta, who are separated from the Igbo in the South-East by the River Niger. Dunkwu tells OCHEI MATTHEW about the historical background of the Omu, its spirituality and others

What has been the most interesting part of being the monarch?

The most interesting part is the fact that the throne is indigenous to Anioma people. The two titles of Omu: Omu queen mother and Eze Nwayi (queen). Our forefathers’ intention was for the Omu to be a queen in charge of women. So, you find out that when I go all over the country, people look at me as if I’m a TV screen or movie star because they had not seen such before. Our former governor, Chief James Ibori, wrote me a goodwill message when I celebrated my 50th birthday, 14 years ago. He said I brought feasibility to this ancient institution. As a media person, I brought that to this institution. So, it has been interesting going all over the world because they didn’t know there is a part of Africa where their forefathers had decided 700 years ago that a woman must occupy this throne and play her part for the community to move forward. So sometimes at events, I’m the only female at a setting dominated by men.

What were you doing before you became the Omu?

I was a media practitioner. I studied in England, the United States of America and returned 35 years ago. I was a media consultant for the late Oba of Benin, His Royal Majesty, Omo n’Oba n’Edo Uku Akpolokpolo Erediauwa, of blessed memory and the late Orodje of Okpe. At some point, I consulted for the Asagba of Asaba and about seven traditional rulers. I was in the consultancy business but when I became the Deputy Omu, I decided that the best thing was to start working for traditional rulers. I was Deputy Omu for three years and became substantive Omu for 17 years, so I have done the work of Omu for 20 years now.

How much do you miss your old life?

No, I don’t miss my old life at all. I must confess that what I am doing is the physical manifestation of spiritual conclusion. So, once God has decided on a matter, you cannot miss anything because that’s the intention of God.

How did you feel when you got to know that you would become the traditional ruler?

Well, initially I was apprehensive because in the past, Omus were women in their early 80s and 90s and as you are aware, Omu doesn’t get married. And if you are married, once you become Omu, you must leave your marital home. However, I was not married so I didn’t have any issue with having to leave my husband. I wasn’t quite sure of how I would handle it but when I was convinced that it was the intention of God, I took it upon myself to do the right thing and I will continue to do to the right thing.

How has your life as a female monarch been?

Rosy…(laughs). Well, it’s challenging when you cannot marry, go into a relationship or attend a burial. There are so many things you cannot do as Omu. However, the work of Omu is 70 per cent spiritual, so I have to keep praying. I also have chiefs attached to my palace. There are spiritual and executive chiefs in the palace.

What experience do you think you have had that you think came as a result of your being a queen?

I am grateful to God and I remain grateful to the late Oba of Benin Kingdom. I learnt a lot from him. The Omu institution is very conservative and ancient. It is a dictatorship in the sense that no woman was consulted when few old wise men instituted the Omu institution. When many people see me and find out about the institution, they marvel. The challenges I have are even from our people.

So what have been your biggest challenges since you became the monarch?

One, I have tried to fuse the good of the old times with the good of the new period to have something brand new. I don’t have any challenge from the people of the North, West, South-East or Deltans. If there are any challenges I am facing, they are from my people and not necessarily from Anioma people. They are from my own home – Okpanam – and of course, it is understandable because even the best among us are despised in their homes. Anioma people own this institution; it is not a personal institution. So, one would not call what I experience as challenges in that sense. Even in Okpanam, the institution is for our forefathers and not for any individual. That’s why it is said that the Omu cannot abdicate the throne and people cannot put all manner of things in place to remove the Omu. So, in 700 years, no Omu has abdicated the throne and no Omu has been removed.

Source

[kimi]

Very interesting read indeed... thanks for sharing.

...the piece below helps you better put her words into context...

As a queen, how do you feel not having a husband and children?

Once you are pronounced as Omu, and you had married, you must leave your marital home and return to your father’s house. You are now a man. A palace will be built for you in your father’s place. You stop contacting your husband but that is not to say he cannot come and say hello; however, he cannot stay with you for hours. He cannot come and sleep with you so you have no responsibility to the man whatsoever. If you had children before you became Omu, the children would still be yours. And if you had one child before you became Omu and now wish to have more children, you can marry a woman, who will give you more children. This is because you cannot live with a man again. And in such a situation, the child you previously had and the one the woman had will have the same rights. That is, your two sets of children will have the same rights – the child or children you had before you became Omu and those you had in the institute. But for me, I have one son and I never married. I used to say that marriage is by choice but for the past couple of years, I have seen it as providential. I have one son who is married with a son now and is a lecturer in the university. I am man and woman put together. I’m not under a man, rather a different spiritual person. During my coronation, male rights were bestowed on me.

[kimi]

Clearly, the SSMPA doesn't apply to the Anioma kingdom 🙄. Lol. I better relocate there and commence my Omu mentorship training program. Hahahaha

[Txunamy]

Loool.. Its Nothing new. 

My great grandma was married to a woman who bore three kids under her roof, and they had same surname as my great granddad and were considered his kids too. But, my great grand ma didn't sleep with the woman, they just found different men to impregnate her, and pay off the men. Kinda like the normal lesbian relationship and how they have kids, the only difference is that they weren't intimate. 

The woman was married to my great mainly for companionship, to bear kids, and take care of the home front. 

[kimi]

7 minutes ago, Txunamy said:

Loool.. Its Nothing new. 

My great grandma was married to a woman who bore three kids under her roof, and they had same surname as my great granddad and were considered his kids too. But, my great grand ma didn't sleep with the woman, they just found different men to impregnate her, and pay off the men. Kinda like the normal lesbian relationship and how they have kids, the only difference is that they weren't intimate. 

The woman was married to my great mainly for companionship, to bear kids, and take care of the home front. 

Wow... @ the bolded. Quite interesting. I would have loved to witness this. 

On a lighter note, you are a true descendant of your great grandma 😁🙄

[Txunamy]

8 minutes ago, kimi said:

Wow... @ the bolded. Quite interesting. I would have loved to witness this. 

On a lighter note, you are a true descendant of your great grandma 😁🙄

Hahahahahahaha! Have you ever been spanked Arch? 😀 well, what can I say? 

[kimi]

7 minutes ago, Txunamy said:

Hahahahahahaha! Have you ever been spanked Arch? 😀 

Ask no questions read no lies loool. I'm not sure what it is with girls and hitting my bum. Lol. Soon enough, they will all be brought to the lord 😇

[Txunamy]

1 hour ago, kimi said:

Ask no questions read no lies loool. I'm not sure what it is with girls and hitting my bum. Lol. Soon enough, they will all be brought to the lord 😇

😂😂

[Chilee]

12 hours ago, Txunamy said:

Loool.. Its Nothing new. 

My great grandma was married to a woman who bore three kids under her roof, and they had same surname as my great granddad and were considered his kids too. But, my great grand ma didn't sleep with the woman, they just found different men to impregnate her, and pay off the men. Kinda like the normal lesbian relationship and how they have kids, the only difference is that they weren't intimate. 

The woman was married to my great mainly for companionship, to bear kids, and take care of the home front. 

This is quite common in my hometown as well, and I intend to keep the "tradition" going😁

[Txunamy]

1 hour ago, Chilee said:

This is quite common in my hometown as well, and I intend to keep the "tradition" going😁

Hahahahahaha

[Mimy]

This is quite an interesting read. With histories like this, one can only conclude that the only reason Africans are this horribly homophobic is due to these foreign religions infused onto Africans.

This has always been our way of life. From the 'Yan daudus in the north, to the Omus of Anioma in the south and other clans. We never had issues with practices like these until when religions peddling folktales on how middle eastern genie hate and condemn this practices take over Africans'. 

[kimi]

2 hours ago, Chilee said:

This is quite common in my hometown as well, and I intend to keep the "tradition" going😁

Hahahahahahahaha... I'm seeking adoption please. 🙄😇

[kimi]

1 hour ago, Mimy said:

This is quite an interesting read. With histories like this, one can only conclude that the only reason Africans are this horribly homophobic is due to these foreign religions infused onto Africans.

This has always been our way of life. Form the 'Yan daudus in the north, to the Omus of Anioma in the south and other clans. We never had issues with practices like these until when religions peddling folktales on how middle eastern genie hate and condemn this practices take over Africans'. 

Lol yups. Sadly. 

[Chilee]

4 hours ago, kimi said:

Hahahahahahahaha... I'm seeking adoption please. 🙄😇