dupsy007 Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Hi am dupsy007 and I recently joined this forum.been following it for a long time,and God knows I love the sex stories,and that was why I signed up. The reason for writing this is to get other girls opinion about if its wise for a bisexual Nigerian girl to let her boyfriend know her sexual orientation? And if he is aware, is it wise to let him know your girlfriend or know the girls you having sex with.cause I am in this situation right now.my boyfriend is aware I am into girls,and he says he's cool with it.he's good at keeping secrets, but I don't know if it would remain the same say we breakup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skills Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Hmmmmm....I would say it depends on the type of person your boyfriend truly is.its all rosy now so nothing seems to be at stake.And yea the question is ,what would he do when you have issues?...Are u ready to come of your closet? Is ur girlfriend ready to come out of her closet? Are u both ready to face the consequences? If ur answer is No, then he should NOT know this part of u. Its also fair to discuss this with her before revealing her identity to him. This is the situation we are in here in Nigeria.You gotta be real careful ,except u've gat nothing to loose. # justmyopinion# PS. If u have been communicating with ur bf in written form about this,you should stop it,you maybe building evidence against urself.Write him back to say it was only a phase.As a matter of fact, I would break up with my gf for revealing my identity.#pointblank# Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calllaris Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 If you are having doubts about him using it against you when you break up, definitely it was a bad idea letting him in on your true situation in the first place. In Nigeria, most people that lesbian rumours trail were given away by those they told or trusted about their preferences. No one certifies you as lesbian except they saw you in the act or you told them so. Good thing is boys believe lesbians are just kidding with their lesbian thing or bidding time for something better, like a boyfriend (lesbians believe this about bisexuals too). Upon this note, get back your 'safety' by telling him you just 'suddenly' decided to stop dating girls because of a reason or another (family/ moral values or experimenting always works). Ffrom then on make sure to keep your privacy private. Chances are he will believe you as long as you don't wait till there is a fight between you two to 'remedy' this situation. In this place, homosexuality is still against the law so its wise to be careful. The law of the land MUST be respected. Moreover, the biggest threat to gender inequality, men and male chauvinism is femminism and lesbianism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Hi dupsy. I think you're saying your bisexual relationship is solely for the sex. I'm guessing to your boyfriend, you're a means to an end also. He can't mind the number of women that you're seeing (don't worry). Don't think it'll be different because it's with a woman. Nobody wants to, if they loved you, know who you're sleeping with. But if this arrangement suits you well, yeah you can tell him and expect he'd ask for a threesome soon. Tell you what, this is what bisexualism is to these men, for threesome purposes and for now, nothing can change that (not that it matters). He may not spill but the risk isn't worth taking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abystacy Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 It's a good thing that you want to be open to your boyfriend about your sexual orientation. But as the same time it's a risky situation. Like someone said.. you should tell him that it's just a phase that you have cut ties with whoever you are in a relationship with (girl). We can never predict the future, he can be cool with it now but who's to say what happens should the relationship comes to an end. Protect yourself and whoever. Don't reveal your girlfriend's identify to him for security reasons as well as yours. If you are not ready to deal with the consequences then it better to keep silent on it. When my family found out that I'm a lesbian all hell broke loose. They are still dealing with it, or should I say living in denial. Saying I have been influenced by my friends and need deliverance I'm also still dealing with it because am more or less like the outcast. My relationship with them is not what it use to be maybe because I moved outta the house. But trust me once it's out it's out and you are gonna face so much challenges you may not be ready or will never be ready to deal with. Protect your self and keep things to yourself. It's safer for everyone involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawken Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Guys are notorious big mouths. I'd never trust this kind of info with a man. Unless he is gay too and we are tight. He has probably gone to tell some of his "guys" already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Aby, maybe she's being open to her bf about her orientation but nobody wants to be in a triangle relationship if it's real. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dequeen Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 A friends boyfriend got to know about me and next thing I started receiving anonymous calls of all sorts of threats including taking me to the police , f***king me with a big d**ck, etc. it was the scariest time of my life and I couldn't tell anyone exactly why the threats were coming cause the people who could help me were all in oblivion about my orientation. Fortunately , I put two and two together and knew she was the loose end, turned out I was right. Her bf knew she was bisexual but she put me on the line by letting him know about me. what am saying is that letting your bf know about your orientation is a big mistake, letting him know the girls you're sexually involved with is a bigger mistake. He doesn't need to breakup with you to start causing problems. Besides I know guys who view bisexuals as sluts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fummy Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 You can still remedy the situation and it's better you do it now before it's too late . Tell him you no longer find girls attractive and it was just a phase. The fact that he is cool with it now doesn't mean he will be cool with it tomorrow, do this for your safety and reputation . Don't discuss this issue through messages or on social media, discuss it with him face to face so you can always deny it if it ever gets out. You don't seem like you wanna date girls for long anyway, i'd advice that you are very discreet about your sexual orientation . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunnaay Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 Hmmmmm....I would say it depends on the type of person your boyfriend truly is.its all rosy now so nothing seems to be at stake.And yea the question is ,what would he do when you have issues?...Are u ready to come of your closet? Is ur girlfriend ready to come out of her closet? Are u both ready to face the consequences? If ur answer is No, then he should NOT know this part of u. Its also fair to discuss this with her before revealing her identity to him. This is the situation we are in here in Nigeria.You gotta be real careful ,except u've gat nothing to loose. # justmyopinion# PS. If u have been communicating with ur bf in written form about this,you should stop it,you maybe building evidence against urself.Write him back to say it was only a phase.As a matter of fact, I would break up with my gf for revealing my identity.#pointblank# True talk @communicating in writing!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunnaay Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 If you are having doubts about him using it against you when you break up, definitely it was a bad idea letting him in on your true situation in the first place. In Nigeria, most people that lesbian rumours trail were given away by those they told or trusted about their preferences. No one certifies you as lesbian except they saw you in the act or you told them so. Good thing is boys believe lesbians are just kidding with their lesbian thing or bidding time for something better, like a boyfriend (lesbians believe this about bisexuals too). Upon this note, get back your 'safety' by telling him you just 'suddenly' decided to stop dating girls because of a reason or another (family/ moral values or experimenting always works). Ffrom then on make sure to keep your privacy private. Chances are he will believe you as long as you don't wait till there is a fight between you two to 'remedy' this situation. In this place, homosexuality is still against the law so its wise to be careful. The law of the land MUST be respected. Moreover, the biggest threat to gender inequality, men and male chauvinism is femminism and lesbianism. I agree 101% Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunnaay Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 My thoughts on this dupsy007 dear is, good intention,bad idea... To me, you just successfully told him you cheated on him. Will you be okay if he told you he is into guys, or had a side chick but you are #1? If the answer is no then I think you should learn from this situation.. In my opinion, we aren't that open to other forms of sexuality in our society one may show understanding, but doesn't mean they buy it... The only ones who can understand is someone going through same things... So if you must tell him anything, say you have feelings for girls but don't tell him you have been with one.:.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abystacy Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 @ Iris i totally understand your point. I always believe people to be open in their relationship regardless of who's involve but I don't applaud cheating either in bisexual or lesbian relationship. If it's omitted in my post its because it wasn't really the bone of contention at the moment. Some bisexuals don't care about the guy involved assuming the girlfriend knows. Beside 80% of the bisexuals in nigeria and even on this forum are and will always be involve in triangle type of relationship. Aby, maybe she's being open to her bf about her orientation but nobody wants to be in a triangle relationship if it's real. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 l agree with you. Triangles are viral amongst bisexuals and is used as a prop for normal behavior. But love always wins, the rest is delusional. (ln the end, you'll still have to choose between the two, so why not make that choice at the beginning)? And I'd agree that the number of bisexuals who fall into the two-way relationship, as opposed to the 'three', is statistically negligible and warrants no attention. It's good to have this understanding. So, @dupsy, never tell. It may prove to be a costlier error (in future) to presume you know someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savvy Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 Hmmm...u made a mistake by telling him u are into girls,that was a wrong move albeit the deed has been done so what we looking for should be a remedy sorta,like they rightly stated above,u shld tell him twas just a phase...Naaa scratch that;tell him u never meant any of those things u told him and u that u were just trying to get a reaction outa him. IMO though,dude hasn't been totally honest wv u cos I can't seem to fathom how he'd be ok wv it. If u were my girl and u tell me u seeing a guy,babe trust me that would be d last of US. Can't seem to understand how he'd be ok wv it bt what do i know sha. About telling him d name of ur sexmate *wldnt use d word gf,cos frankly speaking,she isnt* is totally inappropriate,heck she might not/wouldnt like it.I mean who r we kidding,this is naija and our sexual preference is still seen as a taboo;so getting her biz out there wouldn't be proper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tumeric Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Plsssssss do not go further with any information about your gf to your bf.I made the same mistake,He is an IT Man,he hacked my phone and read all my msgs(I'm sure you know the rest)he asked me and I told him it was just a phase and that I was done,he was cool at first then he started acting up and I have a feeling he might have told one or two of his friends that knew us as a pair.I am also bisexual but more into a girlie(80%)than the male counterpart. Anyways we parted ways,and I keep having the feeling that in future he might spill more,but I made sure I never gave him anything on paper, and I got another IT personnel to block my entire msgs off,so it would be his word against mine, if it ever happens.I can easily say my phone was hacked or he is acting up. Pls don't commit the same mistake like moi-Keep ur details to yourself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kandee Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Hi dupsy. I think you're saying your bisexual relationship is solely for the sex. I'm guessing to your boyfriend, you're a means to an end also. He can't mind the number of women that you're seeing (don't worry). Don't think it'll be different because it's with a woman. Nobody wants to, if they loved you, know who you're sleeping with. But if this arrangement suits you well, yeah you can tell him and expect he'd ask for a threesome soon. Tell you what, this is what bisexualism is to these men, for threesome purposes and for now, nothing can change that (not that it matters). He may not spill but the risk isn't worth taking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kandee Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 True talk @ threesome... That's all being a bi means to most guys, trust me it doesn't last.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dupsy007 Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 thanks for the advise, i appreciate.@ all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunnaay Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Plsssssss do not go further with any information about your gf to your bf.I made the same mistake,He is an IT Man,he hacked my phone and read all my msgs(I'm sure you know the rest)he asked me and I told him it was just a phase and that I was done,he was cool at first then he started acting up and I have a feeling he might have told one or two of his friends that knew us as a pair.I am also bisexual but more into a girlie(80%)than the male counterpart. Anyways we parted ways,and I keep having the feeling that in future he might spill more,but I made sure I never gave him anything on paper, and I got another IT personnel to block my entire msgs off,so it would be his word against mine, if it ever happens.I can easily say my phone was hacked or he is acting up. Pls don't commit the same mistake like moi-Keep ur details to yourself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunnaay Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 @tumeric word!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 On 8/13/2015 at 6:28 PM, dupsy007 said: if its wise for a bisexual Nigerian girl to let her boyfriend know her sexual orientation? Absolutely not. Keep it to yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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