23 Things Only People Who Were Raised By Really Strict Parents Understand

[Hawken]

1. You were always the first person who had to leave when everyone was hanging out.

 

2. Asking permission for a sleepover at your friend’s house took 37 hours of mental preparation, a detailed powerpoint presentation of your friend’s family tree, and a signed contract in your blood saying you wouldn’t drink and would be in bed by 10pm.

 

***. Whenever your friends would make plans for later that night, you knew your parents would say no because it literally took them 2-*** business days to process whether they would allow you to go out.

 

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4. You would practice asking your parents for permission to do something in the mirror and preemptively come up with answers to questions you knew they’d ask.

 

5. You also always had to wait until they were in a good mood before asking for anything.

 

6. You sometimes whipped out the wounded puppy look and would sigh and say “never mind… you’re going to say no anyway” to garner sympathy from your parents before asking for a really big favor.

 

7. You would ask your parents once, and only once, if you could hang out at someone’s house. You never understood why your friends would think that “asking them again” would make any difference.

 

 

8. You always had to choose between going out on either Friday or Saturday night because there’s no way your parents were going to agree to both.

 

9. You understand THE PURE, UNADULTERATED PANIC that channels through your veins when your idiot friends change the plans 10 times and you have to keep reexplaining to your parents what you’re doing.

 

10. You lied constantly. About everything. You still do.

 

11. You never cursed until you got to college.

 

12. You never had “The Talk” with your parents. They probably left a book on your bed about your ~changing body~ and let you figure it out.

 

13. Family dinner conversations revolved around your academics and class schedule—never about your social or love life. As far as your parents were concerned, you didn’t have either.

 

14. To this day, you still can’t get dressed without wondering what your parents would think about what you’re wearing. Middle and high school were a 7 year war over whether that skirt was too short or if the words on your Abercrombie shirt were too suggestive.

 

15. Getting one piercing in your ears was the extent of what you could do to your body. If you even thought about dying your hair an unconventional color, getting a tattoo, or even getting a second piercing, hell would freeze over.

 

16. You probably shared the same first name as at least 4-5 other people in your classes growing up.

 

17. You always changed the channel if your parents walked in on you watching something where the characters might kiss.

 

18. Your parents always tried to sign up to chaperone school functions and field trips.

 

19. Manners were everything. You got the “I don’t want people to think you were raised by wolves” speech almost as often as the “is your napkin not on your lap at the dinner table? Do you do this at other people’s houses? I can’t let you out in public if you don’t put your napkin on your lap” lecture.

 

20. You’ve spent years dreaming of rebellion in the form of making spontaneous plans or wearing flip flops to the airport.

 

21. Your impulse reaction to hearing your friends say they had sleepovers with their significant others is open-mouthed shock.

 

22. You’re careful telling jokes to your parents because their response toes the line between laughing along to immediately going off on a 45 minute rant and probably sending you to your room afterwards.

 

23. If you miss one phone call, your parents suddenly assume you’re smoking “that marijuana” with “that one friend of yours” they KNEW was going to be a bad influence.

 

21. Your impulse reaction to hearing your friends say they had sleepovers with their significant others is open-mouthed shock.

 

22. You’re careful telling jokes to your parents because their response toes the line between laughing along to immediately going off on a 45 minute rant and probably sending you to your room afterwards.

 

23. If you miss one phone call, your parents suddenly assume you’re smoking “that marijuana” with “that one friend of yours” they KNEW was going to be a bad influence.

[Iris]

My parents were quite the opposite esp my dad. My dad? He used to play games a lot with us and all our nicknames were generated by him (according to our body size or how we liked food) . He never lets himself lose. It was always a competition and it didn't matter that we were ordinary, tiny girls. By 7 years, l was already a swank monopoly player. And when we played cards, he'd call on his 'royal' ancestors to interfere in the matter! He'd announce the 'last card' with triumphant glee, exclaiming he had won already. "l have the winning card!", he boasts to me and my sisters. You believe him cos he has this big, bulgy eyeballs, he rolls them.....but because you still have 10 disposable cards to deal with, you know there's nothing you can do. It gets to his turn to play, you expect him to drop the 'winning card'. He doesn't. He looks at us all in the eye, smiles knowingly and goes to the 'market'. It never mattered how many times he did that. It always worked. Each tactic was effective, different from the last one.

 

He used to tell stories too, bringing the characters to life. Tortoise and the Chicken, Tortoise and the Dog, Tortoise and the monkey. I think l believed him when he said Tortoise went to heaven and had a real party. And that big bird that was feared by the villagers, he called it "Alapandede". Apparently only tortoise could kill it cos he was very wise. His reward- the king let him have its head while the other villagers scrambled for its other parts.

 

In contrast, my mum was quiet. She never played those card games and l always suspected she didn't know any stories at all.

 

Years later, l told my kid sister those same stories. And at 15, she'd beg for more.

 

"But l've told you everything!".

 

"Tell me again, pls".

 

"I can't remember any", l'd lie.

 

At this point, she begins to remind me, beginning with her favourite..."Tortoise and the scary bird". l quickly interrupt..

 

"Since you know the story already why are you asking me again"?

 

My elder sister preferred to read. Most of the books she had were bought by her. I knew cos she'd stuff them under the bed after reading, away from my mum. I always wondered where she got the money to buy (at that age?) but l never asked her. She had all Enid Blyton's books, all the Famous Five Series, Mallory Towers, Secret Seven, Little Women etc. She had finished readiñg all Hadley Chase's books at a very tender age. The only reason l read them was because they were free. Other than that, I had no particular interest.

 

There were no 'going out' or 'sleeping over' notifications either. I think he never liked to know. He doesn't like reprimanding or confronting. My dad. But he'd advise you in a long note, explaining why you shouldn't do this, that..."you know l'm your father and l can't lie to you". Then because you know you are like him, you respond with a very short note too, proving your innocence. "Dad, you know I'll never do this and that". You give it to your mother to pass to him.

 

My parents were never strict. I like to remember this one. I couldn't be more than 17. I wore this large earrings, the size of a tyre. Mum said to take them off. I said l wouldn't. She said "take them off". I assured her l wouldn't because my sister "has tattoos and piercings, she's just a year older and you let her". She insisted. I told her l would go report to 'Daddy'.

 

I went to tell 'daddy' and very emphatically and soothingly, he said, "No no, you don't say that. You see, it's what l used to do to my father. Whenever he tells me not to do something, l agree with him that l wouldn't do it even though l know l would". I smiled then. My mum came shortly after. I removed the earrings. She must have thought she won but she didn't know what had transpired between my dad and me.

 

So when he walks into the house stealthily at night and shouts "Gboah!" because we're all engrossed watching TV and he thinks we'll be frightened, I'm smiling in my head and thinking "who's this man scaring now. I'm old". But l don't say anything. Instead, l pretend to be frightened like old times. At least it makes him happy.

[dequeen]

@Iris , you have the dream dad. You're so lucky!!

[Iris]

Thank you :). Yes l'm lucky...my sisters and l. My dad is kind, diplomatic, very wise, too generous. I like to talk about him at the slightest chance.