This post is made on behalf of a friend.

[Iris]

It took me over half an hour to locate Pedro Street. The security told me sure, he knew Kemi, a beautiful, friendly woman, always giving tips. She lived down the road, on the top floor. She would, l thought, climbing up the stairs. I could smell stew cooking. A baby was squawling in one of the flats. A light-skinned girl was tussling with a muscular chap on the ground floor, giggling merrily as he thrust his hand down her boobs. They pretended to be hugging when they spotted me. I smiled knowingly at them and sauntered on.

 

I found the flat. I stood at the front door, panting heavily after having climbed those bloody steps. I could hear voices within. Kemi wasn't alone, l didn't expect her to be. There were after all going to be three of us. I caught my breathe, straightened my hair, held my box tight and then knocked smartly on the door.

 

She opened it. She stared at me, bewildered. Her eyes stark and icy. She adjusted her locs to the back of her head. She wore loose breeches. Her shoulders were straight, wide and slender. She held a glass in her left hand.

 

"Ello," l said pleasantly, nevertheless. "I've come home".

 

She looked even more perturbed, extremely dismayed. I couldn't really blame her, maybe it was the drink in her hand.

 

"Who is it?" Kemi inquired. She was out of sight but l couldn't fail to recognise that voice.

 

She got up and came to the door, standing just behind the frosty looking woman. I gave her a smile. She looked delighted.

 

"Aren't you going to ask me in?"

 

"Come, come, come" Kemi said as she crooked her arm, offering it to me like l was a blooming duchess. I tucked my hand in it, and followed her into the sitting room. I stole a quick glance at the other woman, tilted my chin slightly up and looked away sharply. She gave me an exasperated look and slammed the door so hard the walls shook.

 

"You see, it's a three bedroom serviced flat, ensuite. We've not been here for long. There's a----"

 

"I know" l cut in. I saw the ad. It's why I'm here. Told you l was gonna take it".

 

Kemi made quick introductions. Her name was Deb.

 

"She the new girl?" Deb frowned. "Told- you-we-don't-need-a-flatmate".

 

Me, girl? I didn't say anything.

 

Her voice was cold, steady, flat, with a harsh metallic rasp, a voice to send chills down your spine. Solemn as a grave, this one, grim as the plaque. As a child she probably took pleasure in bullying younger girls and prolly never laughed unless she happened to step on a baby chicken. If you were sharp you'd know when to give her a wide berth.

 

"Is she a threat to you?" Kemi teased. She winked at me, pleased with herself like l was some valued possession she had bought at a good price.

 

Deb didn't deign to reply to such an outrageous question. She stood with her arms folded across her chest, legs spread apart, those eyes icy without expression. Her face was all sharp planes and angles, jawline firm. It wasn't really an unattractive face for a woman, too sharp and severe, of course, but undeniably striking, charmingly pleasant. Certain women would find that intriguing.

 

Deb turned to me. "You're quite young. You're our property now. Our responsibility".

 

"Young?" I retorted, turning to Kemi and wondering if she didn't give her my statistics.

 

"Ow! That voice", Deb grimaced as though in pain.

 

"There's nothing wrong with my voice!!!"

 

"Sounds like a cat screeching" Deb continued. "Such noise coming from a lovely throat".

 

Kemi studied me, eyes twinkling, a wide grin forming on her mouth.

 

I wanted to say something. I didn't. I didn't like what she'd said about my voice, hurt my feelings real bad, it did.

 

l could feel the force of Deb's stare on me and l could feel something else too, something l couldn't quite define, a strange, disconcerting sensation that was bothersome but not at all unpleasant. I raised my eyes to hers. Still as cold, still as fiery and l felt extremely uncomfortable under that gaze, all the sass gone out of me.

 

"I'll go unpack".

 

"You go to bed. You do that tomorrow. You look scruffy" Deb said.

 

A bossy lot too, l reckoned. But l was too tired to protest.

 

"No place to sleep yet. My luggage's everywhere".

 

Deb scowled.

 

"Oh dear, you can sleep on the convertible sofa. The ac in my room is faulty. I sleep here sometimes" Kemi said.

 

I nodded. Went into my room. Undressed. Got into the bath and soap rinsed my body. I was done in 2 minutes. I dried up and put something on. Went back to the sitting room and found them both there. I refused dinner. Too tired to eat actually.

 

I found a comfortable position on the sofa. I closed my eyes. Several minutes must have passed, alas, l was still awake. I made a soft, moaning noise, pretending to be fast asleep, then l heard them:

 

"By the by," Kemi said, " how is the beauteous Chioma? She still haunting your phone with messages?"

 

"With irritating regularity".

 

"I suppose she's determined to save you from that heartbreak you've refused to get over from. Wish l had a saviour like that. Gorgeous, experienced and very single".

 

"I'm well aware of that".

 

(Viola! l thought. Are they what? Well, l wasn't so much surprised)

 

"Trouble with you, Deb, is you don't like women. The few you've laid after your ex you can't get rid of fast enough. You need to get over her. U need to start living".

 

(Wowza! Thorny woman is capable of tender feelings. It isn't to be believed!)

 

"Chioma is homely and--"

 

"Perish the thought" Deb cuts in. "It'll never happen!"

 

"No?" Kemi said.

 

"No indeedy".

 

Deb stood up then and dramatically began murmuring some words l couldn't decipher. Kemi was drinking coffee from a mug and listening none-too attentively as Deb held forth. She paced about restlessly, declaiming, making broad gestures like an actor on stage, her expression quite savage. Kemi yawned sleepily, as though she'd heard this particular tirade a number of times before.

 

What a strange, unusual woman, l thought. Tense. Tormented. Angry. Wrestling with a private demon. Yet, l suspected there was another Deb behind that hostile façade. Kemi was genuinely fond of her and was bound to have a good reason to be. I thought about the possibility of them being gay. They were like me, sure but I was more curious about Deb. What kind of woman does she like? Tall or petite. Slim or chubby. What if l was short and she liked tall? Does she like ample ass while l had nothing? It was impossible to figure out. I looked at her then through half open eyes, longing to be fair and fat and dark and chocolatey but l was cursed with this bizarre look, a flat nose and embarrassing curves. Why was my cheek bone too high? Why was my forehead so flat? I shut my eyes then with those confusing thoughts, forcing myself to sleep one last time.

 

I was about to take the first base of spaghetti when l startled up. l realised l'd been dreaming. My stomach growled. I opeened my eyes wider, disoriented, confused. What was l doing here? Before l cld gather my thoughts, a door slammed, then l heard Kemi's voice in the kitchen. l remembered then all that had happened these past months. I remembered why l moved out of the house. Only l knew the reason l left the house.

 

I would miss home but it wouldn't be bad afterall. New house, new flatmates, new friendships-perhaps. I knew me and Kemi would get along well. A friendly puppy, light at heart, always laughing, always amused. No problem. But.....I'd have to cope with that bloody, temperamental woman. The prospect didn't disturb me at all though. It seemed...somehow exciting, strangely pleasant. Instead of dreading this morning, dreading my next encounter with her, l seemed almost to be looking forward to it.

 

My stomach made a cracking noise again. Food. I yawned, stood up, walked stealthily into my bedroom and turned the key in the lock. Been long l had a proper bath. I whipped off my night shirt, grabbed a hunk of soap and climbed into the tub. The water was deliciously cold. I love cold. I scrubbed and scrubbed, reveling in the luxury of sweet-smelling soap and thick, foamy lather. Layers of grime vanished. My skin began to take on a lovely glow. I continued to scrub, losing track of time. I washed my black nappy hair, rinsed it, washed it again and when l finally stepped out of the tub over an hour had passed.

 

Naked, curiously content, l dried off and studied my reflection in the mirror with my customary approval. By the law of averages, I'm taller than approximately half of short women by at least half an inch. I picked something to wear from my box. A leather, skater skirt and a crop top. I fondled the garments, stroking the soft leather against my face, hesitating a long time before daring to put them on. Happy, independent, l whirled around like a dancer, the skirt flaring out wonderfully. I danced around for a few minutes, tilted my chin haughtily and made an exaggerated curtsey at my reflection in the mirror. l ran my fingers through my hair. All dry now, feeling very coarse. It was time.

 

I opened the bedroom door and strolled idly into the kitchen. Kemi saw me first.

 

"Deb!" she yelled.

"What is it" Deb turned, looking alarmed.

"You tell me" Kemi exclaimed, pointing.

 

Deb looked at me again. No expression whatsoever registered on that sharp, angular face. She might have been looking at a stick of furniture. Kemi shook her head as though to clear it and climbed unsteadily to her feet, her eyes alight with appreciation.

 

"Have you ever seen such a vision?"

 

"What you need is food, l'll get us some" Deb replied.

 

Deb wasn't at all pleased by my looks, l could see that. For some reason it disconcerted her, made her uneasy. Peculiar woman, that one, full of dark moods and contradictions, impossible to figure out.

 

I paid no mind to her and devoured the plate of food set before me, exactly what I'd dreamt of- peppered spaghetti. I found Deb had cooked it. She noticed my wonderment, scowled and left the kitchen. I devoured the chicken next, eating it by the handful. The home-made orange juice was delicious, tart and ever so satisfying. When l finished eating it, kemi handed me a big, crisp apple. I sank my teeth into it, crunching noisily and gave her a dazzling smile...

[Hawken]

The chemistry between the narrator (whats her name?) and "Deb" seems like it will be off the charts. Can't wait for the other installments.

[Iris]

Installments? Lol. Funny witty.

[Hawken]

Installments? Lol. Funny witty.

 

Yes naa. Your "friend" mustn't leave us hanging o

[dequeen]

We want more!!!!

[Hawken]

Iris, how far na? We are still waiting oh.

[Iris]

 

Yes naa. Your "friend" mustn't leave us hanging o

 

This 'friend' in quote is suspicious. Hawken, this piece was written by a friend. Naturally l helped in editing.

Like the three flatmates, originally it was just Tayo and Deb. They met coincidentally at a Trade fair. l'm also told it's fiction and a combination of different stories by different authors put into one by her. It's written in the first person so readers may find it relatable.

[Iris]

Iris, how far na? We are still waiting oh.

 

You mean you're waiting for the remaining installments? Installments still as funny as it had been.

 

She's in Somalia. No internet service in Somalia.

[Hawken]

This 'friend' in quote is suspicious. Hawken, this piece was written by a friend. Naturally l helped in editing.

Like the three flatmates, originally it was just Tayo and Deb. They met coincidentally at a Trade fair. l'm also told it's fiction and a combination of different stories by different authors put into one by her. It's written in the first person so readers may find it relatable.

 

Okay, it just read like you is all.

[Hawken]

You mean you're waiting for the remaining installments? Installments still as funny as it had been.

 

She's in Somalia. No internet service in Somalia.

 

Haha, alright :(

[Iris]

Okay, it just read like you is all.

 

It's good to have brought you and dequeen into the world of the fictitious character 'I'.

[Fummy]

Haha please when will your friend complete this story nah . You can't leave us (me) hanging like this. This was beautifully written, I likeeeee