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Stranger than fiction


kimi

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Hahaha!! So frustrating when you're that pressed. One time I was pressed in Jos, Plateau state, the machine guy reached my junction and refused to go in, I begged, he was adamant, I knew I didn't have much time so I paid him and started running to my house, like Olympic medalist speed, people started running too, some asking me if they had started fighting in town! Loooollll. You should have seen the confusion on that street that day with some closing their shops immediately. Hahaha!

 

Nawa oh, only you cause all that trouble because of piss? I hope you were thorougly beaten for it?

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Gist #5

 

Na wa for some church people sha.

 

So, yesterday, I was on my way to the drycleaner's Then some lady stopped me. I honestly thought she knew me. Should just have ignored.

 

Anyways, polite Kimi stopped. Then the story of life ensued. How she does evangelism around the vicinty and how she sees me etc... She made some other remarks that confirmed she didn't know me from jack and that was when I said "madam, you've got the wrong person". She insisted she knew me and ask if I lived around etc... I said I did but I get home late at night.

 

To cut this long story short, she says she was at a vigil and coming from some very far place and didn't have enough to take her back. I was going to dismiss her then I thought otherwise and decided to support the evangelism.

 

Lady takes the money and launched into a 3minute prayer. I don't say amen to those prayers o! (Haa. no one can be trusted in Lagos. I said a silent prayer in my mind instead over the money I had parted with). After prayers, she began to talk petty.

 

It was at that time I concluded she wasn't a serious somebody. So I said "madam, please I'm in a hurry". To which she replied (smiling silly) "so you don't like women toasting you?". I'm like what the f***k, Geez! Leave me alone! *all in my head ofcourse*

 

Na wa! What was that about!?! I tire

 

Ps

Initially planned to stop by the atm but considering it was just by the corner, I decided to just do cashless mehn! Before she comes to meet me at the point asking for more and who knows what else!

 

Wonders shall never end.‎

 

So all i got from this gist is that you don't know how to wash cloth. Please, who will marry you?

 

Plus on a lowkey, wtf??

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Seriously she isn't even wife material. Simple cloth she can't wash *smh* *rme*

 

So that was how I was strolling in peace and an elderly man stopped me to ask for direction, which I attended to. Sensing his difficulty and the fact my destination was the beginning of the street he was looking for, I decided to just show him the street. Immediately I entered, less than 6 ft from where he picked me, he picked up another man and said he saw a curse on the man's head, how the man is a first son with village people problems, then that one started shaking and vivrating. The man then faced me and said something about me, that was partially true but to me not earth defying and said where he is going to, the purpose is for deliverance prayers. All these while I didn't even say a word, I was so unimpressed. We got to the beginning of the street he was going to (which has security presense) and I told him I'm getting down and he should complete the journey using the sign posts hanging around. Wonders will never end. Forgive my punctuations.

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Hahahahahaha! Hawken o!

As in, scammers. Na wa. Na real wa. You have mind though Lala! Haa, if I were in your shoes, wudda just demanded he stopped the car the minute he starts with the bs!

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Hahahaha! See you! Girls be begging and looking for someone to take care of o! But naaah... She ain't my maid, she's hired for love :D

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Hahahaha! See you! Girls be begging and looking for someone to take care of o! But naaah... She ain't my maid, she's hired for love :D/>

 

Hehehe! You can be sweet atimes sha.

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Abeg where the sweetness pass? Yimu

 

Seriously though the distance from where I was picked up to where I had planned to get down at, is five minutes by car and the security around is quite good. I know how to hold my own though.

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  • 4 months later...
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Haa. I'm not quite sure... saw this on my way home, for the love of NL, I risked getting jazzed and took a photo.

 

I think I might have spotted my very first babalawo in flesh and blood. qywcc1.jpg

 

2hs7tk2.jpg

 

Dunno.

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Hahahahahahaha! Jesu! I rebuke it. Deleting it right away! It's bedtime Hawken very unfair of you to sow such horrid thoughts into my mind :(

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